A/N: I hope you are enjoying reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it. The future chapters have me excited!
Disclaimer: Same 1-11.
"Here you go, sweetheart," Anna said sweetly as she handed a little girl a sample of chocolate fudge.
"What do you say to Miss Anna," said the girl's mother.
"Thank you, Miss Anna," the little girl responded with a smile with a few missing teeth.
"You're welcome. I hope you like it."
Anna wrapped up her customers order and wished them a great day before Daisy brought a fresh batch of chocolate clusters to the display case.
"Those look amazing," Anna complimented Daisy's work.
"Thanks. I've got another tray of them to put out after this one."
Just then Jimmy Kent, one of Anna's other employees, came back into the shop from his break.
"You're ten minutes late, Jimmy," Anna mentioned as she started stocking some gift boxes.
"I got caught up on Instagram, sorry Anna," he apologized quickly.
"You taken your usual fifty selfies a day again?" Daisy teased.
"You have to get the right light and angle before posting to Instagram. Everyone knows that," he replied, looking affronted.
"I don't mind what you do on your break just be back in time," Anna added.
"Yes, Anna," Jimmy said before he started cleaning.
"Thank you. I'll be headed on my break now. Do either of you need me for anything before I do?"
"No," Jimmy replied.
"Nah, go on," Daisy insisted.
Anna hung up her apron and collected her purse. The strap laid across her body, which made it easier for her to use both hands. She had gone to the curry shop last week just like she had written to John, but today it was back to her sandwich shop. She walked inside and ordered. She started getting a turkey and cheese at least once a week because it was his favorite, and she found she enjoyed the sandwich herself.
With her order in hand she walked to the park and sat underneath the tree she usually sat under for shade. She thought of him as she ate the sandwich and felt bad that he wasn't there to enjoy one with her. She found herself wishing he was there with her under the tree, eating and talking. It would be nice to enjoy his company in person.
When she finished she reached inside her purse and pulled out her unread letter. With sure hands she released the pages from their confines.
Dear Anna,
Hello, my friend. I hope you've been well since you've last written. I'm doing as well as I can be. I have been busy this morning working in the mending room, which I haven't told you yet about. I guess that means I have something new to share. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I get to work in the mending room. It's for those of us either with lesser sentences or crimes. Those with life sentences work in the laundry, kitchen, and some other areas. For a few weeks we had been hand stitching denim jeans, but now we've moved on to knitting socks. I would much rather be working with denim. A bunch of men sitting around knitting socks isn't exactly a picture worth painting. It looks very silly to be honest, especially those who end up with an unmanly color. I got a sky blue color to work with, but that's our secret.
She giggled at the thought of him and the other men knitting socks.
It's good to know you had people in your life to help you during that time. My words to you were just the truth. You are strong, and you will succeed at anything you put your mind to. Thank you for understanding about my wife. I don't want to sound cold, but if I had of had the courage I would have divorced Vera many years ago. I would also be living a different life, but you can't go back can you? I guess that's why they say to live in the present and not in the past as hard as that can be sometimes.
Anna's cogs began turning in her head as she read between the lines of his words. Did his late wife have something to do with his imprisonment? Is that what he was saying without saying it? Her curiosity about how John ended up in prison in the first place heightened.
You may think me silly, but I have a strong urge to tell Kyle what a fool he is. He was never worthy of you in the first place. Leaving you when you needed him most, that makes him anything but a man. He may not have had the time to be 'emotionally available' but the right man for you will always be available to listen to you and be there for you.
Like you have been, she thought to herself.
So, I'm sorry that scum treated you that way. You deserve way more than he could have ever offered you. Anna, as we get to know more of each other I find that I want to always be open and honest with you. You wanted to know if I ever had an addiction and the truth is I did, I do. And no you aren't forcing me to tell you about it. I want to tell you. My addiction wasn't drugs; it was alcohol. I've been drinking since before I was even old enough, but it was never a problem until after I came back from Iraq. I served in the Queen's army most of my young adult life, but ended up with an injury that ended my military career.
It wasn't really an appropriate time, but she felt a stirring in the pit of her stomach. This information added a whole another layer to John. She was now thinking of a Celtic warrior, making her breathing more shallow. Here he was trying to be open about his affliction while she thought about how handsome he must be. Taming her ardor, she turned to the second page and focused back on the letter.
A sniper shot me through my knee as I pushed my commanding officer out of the way. The healing process took a long time. I didn't handle everything the way I should have and ended up finding solace in the bottom of many bottles. My alcoholism ebbed and flowed for years after my leg healed as good as it was going to. Prison has actually helped me with that part of my life. I have no access to it in here and find each day it gets a little easier to not think about it. I'll always consider myself to be a recovering alcoholic, but I made a promise to myself when I get out to never return to it again. That's not who I want to be anymore.
Should she be cautious in taking interest in a man with a former addiction? Probably. But she found him even more alluring because of his determination to not go back to it. She believed he was telling the truth that he wasn't the same man he was then, and she felt concern over the fact he had been shot.
Me liking the book is an understatement. I love it, and I have been reading it every evening. The book shop you mentioned you visit would it happen to be The Printed Page? Yellow door, warm wood interior, faded leather chairs for reading? If it is, I've visited there on several occasions. I couldn't agree more that going to the book shop is a much better experience than buying online. I don't know if I could ever go digital. There's something about having a book in your hands.
Anna's mouth gaped open. Sometimes she could forget he lived in the same county she did. He described The Printed Page perfectly, and she felt the oddest sensation at the thought they had shared the same space at one time, just not at the same time.
We celebrate Easter differently here as I'm sure you're not surprised. The chaplain held a small service in the chapel, but I didn't attend. I was raised Catholic, but the older I got and the more life I experienced the less I could feel God's presence. I highly respect your ability to know he is watching out for you.
So, he wasn't religious. She respected his stance as much as he did hers.
Your white bonnet and pink dress sound like the perfect Easter wear. I myself don't mind getting dressed up if the occasion calls for it. Cast you off? I may be a convict, Ms. Smith, but I'm not stupid. You brighten my days like no one has in a very long time. So, you guessed right. I consider myself a morning person, but really I'm an insomniac. Sleep comes and goes as it wishes for me. Well, time is running out for me. I gotta get this in the post so you can read it quicker. I hope your work week goes well.
P.S. - Curry? That's a set of flavors I haven't thought about in ages. Also, I'm curious as to how you take your tea.
Your silly beggar,
John
She giggled and held the pages to her chest when she finished. Yes, he was her silly beggar. Maybe Gwen had been right about her feelings being deeper than friendship but what exactly could be done about it? Even if she wanted to explore such feelings he was imprisoned. He would still be in there and she would be out here. She looked out across the park as she tried to think of how it could possibly work. It was then it hit her.
She could go visit him.
She could write back and ask him if he'd be willing to meet her. She knew prisoners could have visitors, even if it was through bullet proof glass and talking through a telephone. Maybe if she met him in person then she could explain how she was feeling. She had never went to visit anyone in prison, except for her sister, but she was willing to go meet the man who invaded her every thought. The thought of him accepting her proposal made her cheeks flush pink. Maybe this could be the start of something she never thought could possibly happen.
"Bates," said one of the guards who patrolled his cell block as he opened his cell door.
John stood and addressed the guard, "Yes, Mr. Williams."
"You've got a new cellmate," he announced.
"Shhhiiitttt," John said loudly in his own head. That was the last thing he wanted to hear.
The guard stepped aside and John waited with nervous tension to see who would be walking through the door.
His expression remained stoic as the man walked into the cell and the guard told him who it was.
"This is Leonard Langley. I suggest the two of ya get to know the other."
At that, the guard closed the door and locked the two men inside.
John hated he didn't have warning before another person was thrust into his tiny space. The two men simply stared at the other before the other man spoke.
"John Bates. Never thought I'd be sharing a shit hole with you," he said with no expression.
John had made it his business to try his best to remember names, faces, and associations. He didn't know much at all about Leonard Langley, but he knew of him and knew he had seen him talking to Hyland and Farris on more than one occasion.
"Neither did I," John replied indifferently.
The middle-aged, stout, bald headed man looked to the beds and said, "Guess it's the top one for me since you've got a bum leg."
John didn't answer back as Leonard hoisted himself to the top bunk. Instead, he sat down on his bed and internally mourned. His alone time was gone now for who knew how long. He hoped it would be short term and soon he would have his cell to himself again. He immediately felt the loss of his sense of privacy.
His eyes shifted to the table against the opposite wall.
His letters. His book.
He would have to be more careful than ever now that he had another set of eyes in his space. His letters would need to find a new home as well as his book, and the days of openly expressing his emotions were gone until his was alone again.
He knew he was going to be questioned as soon as he collected his letters, but he already felt the primal urge to protect them along with his book.
He stood and walked over to the table. He calmly placed the envelopes into the book as to not rouse suspicion, but it didn't work.
"Letters from home?" Leonard asked from his bunk.
"Yes," John answered simply before he sat back down on the bed. He turned his body to look at the wall and lifted the top corner of the mattress. He then tucked the book and all the letters underneath before he released the mattress.
"I had a girl I was going to marry before I ended up in here," Leonard said.
John couldn't care less about the man's personal life and refrained from commenting as he laid the length of his mattress, trying to forget about the man who now laid above him.
"Not much of a talker are ya?" Leonard noted.
"No, I'm not," John replied neutrally.
"My last cellmate talked so much he even talked in his sleep, so I guess you're a welcome change."
John wanted to tell him that he wasn't a welcome change but didn't reply. He had very much liked having the cell to himself.
A long silence spread out then, and John was able to somewhat tame his severe disappointment by thinking of Anna. She could always lift his spirits when he was feeling down. He knew it was getting closer to mid-day and hoped a letter would be waiting for him after yard time. After the surprise of Langley he could use some of Anna's wonderful words to make the rest of the day better.
Before too long they had both been escorted, along with the rest of the men, to the dining hall.
"Well, don't you look pissed right off," Felix tried to tease as John sat down with his tray.
Owen looked at Felix and then to John who just eyed Felix.
"Sorry, mate. I was only joking," Felix back pedaled.
John sighed heavily and said, "I've acquired a new one."
Felix was about to respond when Owen spoke first.
"A new what?"
"A new cellmate," John responded as he looked down at his food.
"Who?" Felix asked quietly as he raised his spoon to his mouth.
John said into his water glass, "Leonard Langley."
Felix's eyes scanned the hall until his eyes landed on Leonard. He dropped his stare back to his tray as he commented, "Could have been worse."
"Who is he?" Owen asked in a hushed tone.
"He's to the right second table over; stocky, bald, faced this way."
Owen casually looked in that general direction until he saw the man who fit Felix's description. He looked back down as soon as he knew who it was.
"I don't know much about him," John stated.
"From what I know he's all right. I don't think it would take much for him to back stab though. I'd keep an eye on him."
John nodded, and they finished the rest of their meal in silence.
When yard time was over John had waited patiently in the queue for the post. His patience was rewarded with a beautiful packet full of Anna's words. His eyes held a smile to them as he stepped back into the cell, but his demeanor changed when he saw Leonard sitting on his bunk.
"Another lucky day for you then," Leonard commented as he saw the envelope in John's hand.
John ignored him and sat down on his bed as close to the wall as possible so Leonard couldn't see him.
"Letter from your wife or kids?"
"No," John answered.
Leonard snapped his fingers and said, "Oh, yeah. That's right. You joined the pen pal program months back. You liking it? I've thought about joining himself."
It wasn't that John didn't want to be friendly. He wished he could talk to these people, but he knew it would do him no favors.
"I don't wish to talk about it," John replied.
"Suit yourself."
John waited until he heard Leonard nodding off before he looked at the postage stamp which was a Shakespeare quote 'To thine own self be true'. He then proceeded to quietly open the packet and unfold the pages.
Dear John,
Hello, you. It's wonderful to hear you are doing well. Your knitting adventure made me laugh. It was definitely a picture worth painting. How funny it is that you would get light blue as that is my favorite color. I have no doubt your knitting is just as good as your sewing. A woman would be very lucky to have a man in her life whose hands can perform such delicate work. I bet you use your thick knitting needle masterfully.
John swallowed roughly as he re-read Anna's not-so-subtle innuendo. Could she be thinking of him in an intimate manner? To his disbelief, it appeared she was.
It's also good to know you get to work. At first I thought I was surprised by you being a military man, but then I thought it suited you. Is this what you've always done? Thank you for being honest with me about your alcoholism. I know it is not an easy thing to talk about. I'm so proud you have the determination to rise above it. Only good things can come from it, and I feel like I already know you aren't the person you once were.
So, she didn't rebuff him for telling her about his drinking problem. Instead, she was telling him how proud she was. She never ceased to amaze him.
The book shop I visit is in fact The Printed Page. It brings me comfort to know we have both enjoyed the small shop even if it was unfortunately not at the same time. I sat under my tree in the park today to read your letter. It is nice to read your words in the middle of my day, and if I'm having a bad day your words make my day so much better. So, my birthday is next Wednesday. I don't usually make plans for my birthday because I am working most of the time, but after the shop closes Gwen, my colleague Daisy and her beau William, and my friend Ethel are taking me out. I rather hope it's to somewhere I can dance ,though they aren't telling me. I don't really like clubbing, but it's one of the few places where you can go dancing. Do you like to dance? I enjoy it but never seem to get around to doing it a lot. I think they are trying to cheer me up because I will be the big 3-0. I guess I should be sitting around hating the fact I'm turning thirty, but I'm not. The thirties will be a brand new chapter for me, and I'm looking forward to what it holds. I do have something I would like to talk to you about, John.
This gained his full focus and made him shift to sit more upright.
I don't know really how to start other than to go ahead and ask my question. Would you mind if I came to visit you?
His heart stopped. His breathing stopped. He was pretty sure the Earth had stopped spinning. Had the sun suddenly shifted closer to Earth in the process?
I know this is not a normal request from a pen pal, but I feel like we are more than pen pals.
He couldn't be reading what he was reading could he?
You are in York which isn't far away, and I feel like we could get to know one another better if maybe I came to visit on occasion. I know it is a lot to ask, and if I'm being too pushy I apologize. It was just something that crossed my mind as I thought of you today, and I needed to ask. It would be so nice to meet you even if it was only once. Please just think about it, and if not we will continue to write to one another as we have been. I love your company in whatever form.
P.S. - I take my tea with milk and two sugars. I like it sweet. And you?
Yours,
Anna x
He silently cursed Leonard for being in the cell. He would have to internally process all of this. Anna was asking to come visit him. When he signed up for the program he never imagined the other person to be willing to be anything other than pleasant conversation. This letter had taken a different tone. He knew she was suggesting they could maybe have something more than friendship but that could not be. He could not allow her to invest more than friendship in him.
God, he would love nothing more than to meet her, but it wasn't right. He didn't want Anna to meet him in these conditions, and he didn't want her sitting around for the next few years waiting on something he couldn't give. The vision of Hyland and Farris flashed before his eyes, which would be a whole other reason for her to stay away from there. If he had a visitor the gossip would flow like a steady stream. Some of the guards would give into the gossip and share details of what she looked like and spread other things he didn't want to think about. She didn't deserve to be talked about in the way he knew she would be. He would have to explain carefully why he didn't want her to visit.
He looked to how she signed off and felt a heat crawl up his neck.
Yours
He closed his eyes and thought about how good it sounded in his head for her to call herself his, but how could she be his in their situation? None of it was right, none of it at all. He couldn't allow himself to live in a selfish delight. Anna was worthy of so much more than being involved with a man in prison. There wasn't much at all he could do from where he was, but he hoped to make it up to her somehow.