Don't hate me yet!

I own nothing!

Thanks for all of the support, it really keeps me going!

Chapter Eleven

On the third day after the whipping Gale was finally able to leave the house. Since the wounds on his back were still fairly fresh and prone to opening and bleeding, he still had another few days off from the mines. So today he set out to thank everyone who had a hand in his recovery. Naturally, first on the list was the Everdeen household, which he was on the way to anyway because he needed to have his bandages changed. He had never been particularly fond of Mrs. Everdeen, all he's known of her is the Merchant woman who crumbled after the death of her husband and left her daughters to fend for themselves. It wasn't the easiest thing to overlook. Where his mother had been the picture of strength after his father's death, Mrs. Everdeen was left in pieces.

Mrs. Everdeen answered the door after the second knock and invited him inside.

"Where's Catnip?" He asked looking around the house for any sign of her.

"She went on a walk," the way she emphasized the word 'walk' told him it wasn't just a walk. She moved around the table and gestured for Gale to remove his shirt.

Mrs. Everdeen examined the dressings, removing them to examine the wounds.

The wounds were still extremely sensitive. His body still ached from them.

"Mrs. Everdeen? Can I ask you a question?" There was only one person in the district that could shed light on this particular subject. She nodded and he continued. "Did you ever regret leaving your life behind and marrying a coal miner? Did you ever wish you would've married Peeta's father instead?" He felt stupid asking her, because they had never been close, but she was the only person he could talk to about this, the only one who could truly understand the situation.

At first, he had thought that keeping his distance from Madge would have lessened the emptiness in his chest. Out of sight, out of mind, right? But that wasn't the case, no that wasn't the case at all. If anything distance had just made his heart grow fonder. Fonder indeed.

Mrs. Everdeen eyed him questioningly. "Not once. I loved Eustace with every fiber of my being and as you know when he passed I was broken, but I don't regret it one bit. I know everyone here thinks the merchants have it made, but we don't. I came from a loveless household with demanding, cold parents and Eustace was warmth personified. Everyone is poor Gale, just not in the same ways." He nodded taking in the information, where Madge's family was absent, but had more than enough money, his family life was rich, but were barely scraping by. "It wasn't a spark of rebellion that drew me to him either. It was this lightness that emanated from him and everything he did. Do you understand me?"

Gale nodded considering the weight of her words. Lord, did he know what she meant. There were traces of her everywhere he went. Every time he looked in the sky, his brain recalled those damn blue eyes. There were too many traces of her at his home. He never would have wanted Madge to separate herself from his family, but did her presence have to be so palpable? Whenever he looked at Posy there was Madge. In the ribbon in her hair and in her new wardrobe, that he knew no one other than Madge could have given her. When he looked at Rory there was Madge in his look of concentration as he sat down at the dinner table and did his homework. In Vick, he could see her in his constant source of smiles, which hadn't always been so common before Madge came along. Even in his own mother, there was Madge. Madge was someone she could confide in. Someone who would listen without judgment or pity. His entire family had had a newfound lightness, exactly like the one that Mrs. Everdeen spoke of. She was everywhere, and yet it seemed as if he had barely caught a glimpse of her since then. A few times he had caught sight of her around. Sometimes Gale would see her walking with Thom and his bandmates. Once he even saw her leaving Peeta's, guitar in tow. He knew it was stupid to be jealous. Thom was just her friend and Peeta was head over heels in love with Katniss, but his heart wouldn't listen to logic. It wanted her, and nothing was a suitable substitute. The kiss with Katniss had left him with everything to be desired. She didn't have the warmth of Madge. She hadn't made his heart catch in his throat. She just wasn't her. However, there was another roadblock. The she in question was with another.

"Why do you want to know?" Mrs. Everdeen questioned curiously, but a lilt in her voice told him that she already knew why.

Gale stammered, "I-uh-nothing."

Mrs. Everdeen finished wrapping his back, "I say go for it," her hand lay gently on his shoulder.

"But Kat-"

"I wouldn't worry about Katniss."

"Anyone willing to brave a blizzard to donate morphling is worth fighting for, Gale."

Gale stared at her baffled. What was she talking about? And then it hit him. Madge had brought him her mother's morphling, so he wouldn't be in so much pain.

Madge awoke in an embrace and with the sun hitting her in bed. She groaned, the sun was hitting her right in the eyes.

"Hey," a voice whispered into her hair from beside her.

"Hey," she responded back, turning to her side to face him and get the sun out of her eyes.

Connor smiled at her, and pulled a strand of hair away from her face.

With that gesture her mind was flooded with reminders from yesterday. Connor had come over to have dinner with her parents when her mother's headaches got so bad that she was forced to retire to her bedroom, with her father in tow, leaving the couple at her dinner table eating in silence. Upon hearing her mother's groans and whimpers from the second floor, both had suddenly lost their appetites. She tried to block out the sounds, but she couldn't play the piano because it was too loud for her mother. As she walked Connor to the front door, she was suddenly overcome with emotion. Her mother's screams had gotten louder and Madge could almost feel the same pain.

Connor turned to give her a kiss goodbye as he buttoned up his coat, but he faltered seeing the streams falling down her face.

"Are you okay?" He asked grabbing her face in his hands.

She wouldn't be able to sleep with her mother's shouts of pain in her ear. That was always the hardest thing to block out. Hearing your mother dying in the room next to yours was hard to ignore. Impossible even.

Madge shook her head. She wasn't okay. How could she be? Girls her age were supposed to be discussing boys with their mothers, not their mother's impending death. At sixteen your biggest worry wasn't supposed to be that your mother won't get to see you walk down the aisle, or might not even get to see you become an adult. But those were her fears. So she asked Connor to stay with her. To help keep away some of her awful thoughts, or at least try. She knew that he wouldn't deny her of anything she asked. She knew he would stay, he would always stay with her.

Connor quietly followed Madge up the stairs and into her bedroom.

She'd never slept in the same bed with a boy before. The uneasiness in her stomach was easy enough to ignore. There was nothing to be nervous about, it was just sleeping.

His back was turned as she changed into her pajamas. His head didn't turning to catch a glimpse of her once. Always the perfect gentleman.

Connor removed his coat and shoes before getting into the bed beside her. As soon as her head hit the pillow, her tears began falling in steady streams.

"Maysilee! No!" Her mother screamed from the next room.

Her body shook with sobs. Connor kissed her on the forehead. At first she was afraid that perhaps Connor would attempt to kiss her tears away. That would remind her too much of Gale, which would have only made things worse. It was a never-ending, everyday struggle, trying to forget him. As soon as she felt she was finally over him, something came up that brought her back to reality. Denial wasn't getting over someone. Escapism wasn't a strategy for heartbreak. How can you block out the constant aching of your heart?

But Connor was so sweet, so understanding, and so non-judgmental. It didn't phase him that her two best friends were from the Seam, or that one of them was male. There wasn't a Seam-Merchant struggle between him and Thom. He treated Thom like he would treat anyone else, with the same kindness he showed everyone.

Maybe it wasn't so bad to be with someone you weren't in love with. Maybe it was okay because she loved him and he loved her, and they understood each other. Wasn't that what everyone wanted? To be loved and understood? Was it so wrong? One day, maybe not soon, she would forget about Gale. She had to right? All her memories of him would eventually blur, making them harder to decipher, and perhaps easier to neglect? That was probably just wishful thinking though.

"C'mon Katniss, don't you want to see Thom play?" Gale asked tugging on the sleeve of her coat. Katniss was absolutely no fun. It was a rare sight to see Katniss dance, but he thought he would ask anyway. It was still winter, though it was getting warmer everyday, so it wasn't as if they would be doing much dancing. The guys were playing in some abandoned building in the Seam. Usually he would never have gone to see them, just to play or practice, but the music reminded him of Madge, and anything that could make him feel closer to her was in his interest.

Katniss stared blankly at him and reluctantly agreed.

The band was sitting in rickety stools in the center of the abandoned building when they entered, a small crowd already forming. It was a Sunday, so most everyone had the day off, and because of the snow were most likely sick of being stuck almost didn't notice her because Johnny was blocking her from his view, but then she emerged from behind him with a smile on her face. She sat down on a stool between Thom and James. She was beaming.

The first song they played was an upbeat tune with a lot of banjo. Madge played along, smiling. She was really getting pretty good. But it wasn't just her skills that were forcing his attention to her, it was everything else. While playing she gained so much confidence it was astounding, but it wasn't until he heard Madge sing that he was truly taken aback.

Thom looked at her as if to ask, "are you ready?" to which she nodded.

She began strumming the guitar, smiling to the man at her right. Thom grinned back, and they began singing. Their voices melded together so beautifully. The shy girl he had fallen in love with was no where to be seen. In her place was a shining artist that Gale couldn't take his eyes off of.

"God, she's absolutely breathtaking up there," Katniss muttered to Gale.

Gale nodded, his eyes never leaving Madge's figure.

As soon as Gale thought the performance couldn't get any better it did. The blonde smiled at the band, and counted off for the next song to start. A sad ballad heavy with banjo. As soon as Madge began singing Gale was astounded with the amount of passion within it. Even though Gale knew that she hadn't seen him, he couldn't help but feel as if this song was for him. Every lyric seemed aimed at him.

So babe spell it out, but you don't have to shout when you're talking to me.

It brought his mind back to when he broke it off, the way he yelled, the way his temper flared, as it always did when he was sad and upset. Anger was just so much easier of an emotion to deal with than sadness.

Don't lock your door. Everyone is poor between the lines.

Gale had locked her out. Gale had made the decision for their relationship; he hadn't consulted her. And just like Mrs. Everdeen had said to him just because you had money didn't mean that you weren't poor in one aspect or another. Hearing it from her mouth made everything so much more real. There she was, the girl he wanted. The girl he needed.

I want to live and I want you to live, happy and free. But I don't know how to separate the now from what used to be.

It was obvious that she was trying to move on. She had a new beau. He knew Madge, she was the type who would live in misery as long as the ones around her were happy. If she thought he would be happy with Katniss she would sit in misery, congratulating them. As for the last part, he couldn't either. Although months and months had passed since they had last interacted, he could still feel her lips on his, her body pressed up against his.

Will you sleep? Not a wink. Well neither will I.

Her eyes finally met his.

Song belongs to the Avett Brothers, not me!

it's "my last song to jenny"

so beautiful

Rate please!