We'll be headed back to Katniss' POV soon! Some of you are either going to love me or hate me after this chapter, just a warning.
Ollie
I headed toward the nursery ward and watched as the doctors and nurses filed down the hall toward labor and delivery. I waited until they were out of sight before turning around and following their path. I wasn't sure where Cruz would be, but I had to find him.
It was easier than I had planned. I arrived at the end of the hall and went to turn the corner when I ran right into him. I bumped my nose on his chest and pain shot through it. "Ouch." I grabbed my nose as blood poured from it.
"Sorry miss…Ollie" He seemed perplexed at first and then fell back into his usual at-ease demeanor. "Hmm, guess I finally got you back. Come with me, we'll get you fixed up."
When we were in the wilderness, running from The Resort, I had accidentally elbowed Cruz in the nose and inflicted a similar injury. Except we had no hospital or trained doctors, he had to suffice with part of my sleeve ripped off and pressed to his nose.
He led me into an empty exam room and had me sit on the table. He pulled a small black device that almost looked like a gun. He held it up to my nose and immediately the blood flow stopped and the pain ceased to exist. "Better?" He asked.
I nodded. "Thanks."
He sat in a chair by the desk and crossed his arms. "What are you doing here this late Ollie? Sage is most likely sleeping so I doubt he is the reason. And you aren't pregnant so you can't be in labor."
I sighed. "I came to see you Cruz."
He smirked. "Oh really? Couldn't stay away."
I groaned. "Stop that. Be serious for a minute, okay?"
His face grew more serious. "What's wrong Ollie? Did you and Stosh have a fight?"
"How did you know?" I gave a nervous laugh.
He shrugged. "I figured you would come running back the minute things went wrong. Girls are very predictable." There was something sinister about his tone, and I didn't like it.
"No, that isn't it. I am just… confused, that's all." I spat at him.
He shook his head. "You are immature, that's all. You know, I really felt something between us back in The Resort but later I came to learn that you were on the rebound in a major way. You believed that Stosh was cheating on you, so you decided that get back at him.
And then, after you chose to be there for Sage before anyone else, you went back to Stosh almost immediately. Probably because he was available, but also because he is the father of your son. And mainly because you like to feel wanted. You like having someone there to watch over you and protect you."
His words cut deep. I gritted my teeth. "What are you talking about? Nothing that happened between us in The Resort was a result of me being angry with Stosh. I felt all the same things you did."
He stood from his chair and approached me. "Is this why you are here Ollie?" Before I could say anything he grabbed my face in his hands and pressed his lips to mine. My lips parted against his. His lips were just as warm and soft as I remembered them. A shot of electricity rain through my veins, an unstoppable forced.
I lift reached my hands toward him, to pull him closer, but he pushed away. "Is that why you came here Ollie? To see if you still had feelings for me? Well, do you?" He crossed his arms again.
This all felt unnatural. He was treating me like a child, treating me like I was the bad person in this situation. Like I was stringing both he and Stosh along. And maybe I was.
"I don't know!" I cried out.
"What did you feel when I kissed you Ollie?" He stepped closer again, his face inches from mine.
"I…." I squeezed my eyes shut.
"Answer me Ollie." His lips were so close to touching mine.
"Electricity." I whispered.
"Good." He smiled. "Me too. I have thought about you every day since we were rescued Ollie. I knew Stosh had already won since you had had his baby. I wished that I someone could have been at the Breeding Center, been matched up with you. We would have been good together."
I could barely breath with him so close. "I owe it to Stosh to stay with him."
He shook his head. "You owe it to yourself to be happy, no matter what that should be. Even if you chose neither of us and run away, just do it before we all end up in a mess of broken hearts."
"You aren't making this easy for me Cruz." I whispered.
The corner of his mouth pulled into a smirk. "I don't think it is supposed to be easy. Loving you sure hasn't been."
"You barely know me." I responded.
He shrugged. "But I know a strong emotional and physical connection when I see one. We are practically made for each other Ollie."
His lips were on mine again, more urgent this time. I laced my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer to me. I burning desire filled me, hotter than I had ever felt before. He leaned toward me, pushing me back on the exam table. He crawled up on top of me, pressing his body hard into mine. A low moan escaped his throat.
His lips moved down to my chin, along my cheek, and down to my neck. My breath was becoming ragged. "Cruz, I don't know…"
He stopped and brought his face up to mine, meeting my gaze. His blue eyes were smoldering. "Make your decision now Ollie. But whatever you decide, there is no turning back."
He pressed his lips lightly to mine, sending a current down my spine.
"Okay." I breathed, pulling him closer to me.
The next morning I woke up stiff, the hospital bed had not been good to me. Cruz had left hours ago after being called to deliver babies. I looked around the room, rubbing my eyes. Last nights events came back to me and suddenly I felt nauseous.
I jumped off the table and ran to the trashcan, vomiting. I washed my face and mouth off in the small sink attached to the desk. "What have you done Ollie?" I whispered. I turned and gathered my clothes off the floor, pulling them back on. I opened the door to the exam room and peered down the hall. Empty.
I ran down the hall, toward the hangar. A woman with a clipboard wandered around the room, looking bored. "I need to get back to District 14." I yelled at her.
She looked up at me approaching. "Um, I didn't know we had anyone here visiting the nursery." She took in my non-pregnant body. "I'll see if I can find a pilot."
She got onto her radio and five minutes later a lone pilot came into the room. The lady with the clipboard waved at him. "Sorry Til, didn't realize we had a run this morning."
He shrugged and entered the hovercraft, not even looking at me. I had to be a sight. Wrinkly clothes from yesterday, hair a mess, tears ready to pour down my cheeks. I climbed into the hovercraft and was thankful that he took off immediately.
The trip back to District 14 went by way too quickly. I had no idea how to explain my absence to Stosh. I needed to talk to Katniss, but of course she was not here, and I had no idea when she would be back. Last night had been wonderful, the connection I had with Cruz was stronger than what I had with Stosh. I wasn't any less confused though. Part of wondered if my doubts on the foundation for Stosh and my relationship were holding me back. Part of me wondered if we just weren't good together.
I walked into the Atrium with my head hanging low. Breakfast had ended and I should be in class, but I went back to my room. Anxious to shower off all evidence of last night, anxious to avoid Stosh. As luck would have it though, Stosh was waiting in our room.
"Ollie!" He jumped up from the couch. "I'm so sorry about last night, I shouldn't have reacted like that. We should have talked it out. I'm sorry you felt like you needed to spend the night somewhere else."
I nodded, knowing that if I spoke I would start to cry. I made my way into the bathroom and turning on the shower, watching the stream ride up.
"Ollie? What's wrong?" Stosh appeared in the doorway behind me.
I began to peel off my clothing, dropping it into the laundry bin. I reached back and removed the band holding my braid together; my hair fell in waves down my back. I stepped into the shower, hoping any sign of tears would be washed away.
Stosh walked toward the shower. "Where did you go last night Ollie?" His voice was full of accusations.
"District 15." I said over the water. There was no point in hiding it now. The tears poured onto my cheek, the hot water wiping them right away.
Stosh was quite for a moment. "You mean you went to see Cruz."
"Yes." I responded through the tears.
He slammed the shower door open so that he could see me. "And?"
I turned to look at him, running my hands through my hair. "What do you want to know Stosh?"
His jaw clenched. "You spent the night with him, didn't you?"
"Yes." I answered honestly. "I did."
His hands clenched into fists. "Did he touch you?"
My look must have told it all because he stormed toward the door. I slipped out of the shower, following behind him. "Stosh, wait!"
He turned to look at me. "I'll kill him."
I was dripping water all over the floor, a chill ran across my body. Stosh's expression was so dark I believe he might actually try and kill Cruz. "Stosh, don't do this. If you care about me, just don't."
His eyes grew wild now, he moved toward me. "If I care about you?" He screamed at me. "Everything I have done since we arrived here over a year ago has been because I care about you. But all you care about is yourself."
I stepped back from him until I was against the wall. "That isn't true Stosh. You know I care about you."
He laughed. "Yeah, because you throwing yourself at Cruz after our fight is you caring about me."
"I need to know." I whispered.
"Know what?" He asked, only a foot from me. His expression was still half-crazed and it frightened me.
"Who I needed to chose. Who I loved more."
"And?" He crossed his arms now, still moving closer.
"We had a great phy….great connection."
"No, say it." He was inches away now. "You have a great physical connection? And we don't?" His body was pressed up against mine now.
"We do, Stosh. And we have so much more. But we are constantly fighting, constantly debating our relationship. It should be natural."
"Is it natural with Cruz?" He was still inches from my face, his dark eyes looking into mine. This was Stosh, my best friend. What had I done?
"I just made the biggest mistake of my life." I whispered, tears flowing down my cheek.
"What?" He replied, realizing I hadn't answered his question.
"I should have never done there last night. I was too emotionally weak. It is my fault. Both of you should hate me." The tears flowed from my eyes now. "I'm an awful person."
I pushed Stosh away from me and ran toward the balcony. The doors flew open and I was met by an icy blast. My hair started to harden, gooseflesh appeared all over me. I leaned on the balcony railing, looking down into the valley.
"What are you doing Ollie? Come back inside, it's freezing out here." Stosh had followed me onto the balcony.
"I wish there was no barrier." I mumbled.
"Ollie?" Stosh's voice was softer now.
"I'm the problem here Stosh. Not you. Not Cruz. I can't pick, I don't deserve to have either of you. I wish I could just go away and stop hurting everyone." My teeth were chattering now.
"Ollie, your lips are turning blue. Please." His hand grabbed my arm and I tried to pull away, but he was too strong. "Sage deserves you."
Sage's name put some life back into me. I turned toward Stosh, a trembling mess. "I don't know what to do Stosh. I'm so lost."
I fell into his arms, the sobs rocking my body. He picked me up and carried be back inside. He laid me on the couch and covered me with several blankets while he started a fire.
My teeth were still chattering but I was starting to warm up. Stosh left the room and brought me clothes, helping me dress. He sat behind me on the couch and pulled my hair back for me. He then wrapped his arms around me, wrapping both of us in the blankets.
"I'm sorry Ollie." He whispered near my ear.
"For what?" I wanted to cry again, he had nothing to apologize for.
"For putting you in this position. I'm going to let go. If you need to be with Cruz, I'll help you conceive and leave."
"No." I angled my body so that I could look him in the face. "I don't want Cruz, I want you."
He looked confused. "But I thought you said…"
"Last night was amazing…" He winced and I bit my lip. "Sorry, I'm trying to be honest."
"Go on." He said, his eyes sad.
"Cruz and I do have a strong physical connection. And I think that is what causes us to think we have an emotional connection. But we haven't really sat down and talked, we barely know each other. He doesn't know me like you do. I want the boy who took a chance on a little girl in a haze. A girl that no one else wanted to take a change on."
He pulled me into his arms. "Are you sure Ollie? Make the decision right here and now. No more arguing, no more playing around."
I'm sure I whispered into his chest. I closed my eyes, listening to the beat of his heart. I knew deep down I had made the right choice. It was less than a minute before I fell asleep in Stosh's arms, the place I was meant to be.
Extra note at the bottom, I didn't want to spoil it above. There is drama to come between Stosh and Cruz. Stosh isn't THAT big of a pushover. ;)