Chapter 11 Tough times
Shimmeringstar was now walking home alone with after he said goodbye to Wishbear who was also a bit disappointed at his decision for rejecting the gift of immortality. 'Who do they think they are? Judging me like that.' He grumbled to himself as he opened the door to his house and closed it as he entered. 'What hypocrites! Especially after what they told me that they would be behind my decision no matter what!' He mused to himself as he opened up a box looking for something. 'Now where is it?' He said to himself as he opened up one box after another until he finally found what he was looking for. 'There it is!' He found an old walk men which played cassette tapes along with his collection of tapes that he found along with it in the same box. He plugged in the miniature stereo and put the cassette tape inside. It read Dio,"Sacred Heart" was the name of the album. He rewinded the tape until he came across the song that he wanted to listed to. 'There we go!' He shouted once he started playing the song that he wanted to listen to so badly. 'I've always loved this song. It always perks my spirits up when people let me down! But what else is knew!' As he sighed heavily and played the song. The song went something like this, 'Your a dancer, But your dancing on air, just a matter of time till you fall!" Your a dreamer, one night at the fair but still you want it all!" Shimmeringstar began reflecting on the night's events as the song continued to play. 'Yeah, that's exactly how I feel right now. Just a matter a time till I fall!' He smirked to himself feeling a little more down that before. 'Why do I always get hurt in these type of situations?' He continually mused to himself as the music now played, 'Your in danger! But the last of a line! But the vision lasts forever! So just hold on! You can make it happen for you! Reach for the star! And you will fly! Your hungry for heaven.' Shimmeringstar was now getting encouraged by the message of the song as he turned up the music a few decibels and began singing with it.
After he was done listening to that song, he fast forwarded to another song that was called, "Just Another Day", by the same music artist. 'Man, why do those guys have to judge me so harshly just because I rejected that gift from the great wishing star.' He thought to himself as he heard the song saying, 'Another day to let you down! Another way that they have found. Yes another day!' "That's easy for to say!" He said back to the music. "You try being the only human living a bunch amongst these creatures!" He mused to himself as he layed down on his bed going through his emotions of rejection as well as picturing the things he wanted to say to them for the way they had treated him and lied to him. After awhile of doing this, he drifted off into sleep as the music continued to play.
Shimmeringstar woke up the next morning to some sun light that shimmered through his window beside his bed. He squinted his eyes as the sunlight hit his eyes. "I'll have to remember to get some curtains for that blasted window!" He said out loud to himself. He slowly got up as he rubbed his eyes walking to the bathroom and did his usual ritual of brushing his teeth and taking his bath. He felt much better now that he had a decent night's sleep and was in much happier spirits. "Despite what happened yesterday, it its just another day." He said to himself as he got dressed in a warn out green shirt and some camouflage army pants that his dad had given him which surprisingly still fit him because he was so skinny. "Thanks Dad!" He said to himself as he took a moment to look at the pants before he put them on. Reminiscing on a memory, although his dad was drunk, he remembered well what he told him. "Joaquin I was marked as a dead man the moment I went into Vietnam! I can't remember how many of my friends got killed in that war! But I survived it as a marine doing two tours." "That must have been hard." Replied Shimmeringstar as he watched the camp fire on a cool night. "Joaquin, life is hard. But you want to know why I survived?" His dad Inquired. "Why?" Joaquin replied. "Because I'm a survivor! One thing about this world. If you give up, you'll never be any good to anybody!" End of memory. "Well, since you fought in the Vietnam war dad and had a deteriorating back because of the agent orange that they sprayed on you over in Vietnam, then I think I can face my situation here!" He said to himself as he looked himself in the mirror punching his right hand against his open left hand. "Its time to take my problems on head on!" With that, he put on his black boots went through the door not sure what to expect this day, but was determined to face them head on. Whether that was facing the carebears, and their ridiculous petty opinions of him from what happened to him the other night. He went to the hall of hearts hoping that they were serving breakfast for he didn't cook for himself much except for scrambled eggs, and top romen noodles. But even if they weren't, he was determined not to let that ruin his day. He ran across Grumpy bear and Shimmeringstar waved his hand with a smile at the bear. He shook his head at him and ignored him mumbling,"Dumb human." walking past him on the trail. 'Fine! Screw you too you stuck up piece of $%*! He angrily mused to himself as he tried to forget what just happened. 'I guess they're all still mad at me for what happened yesterday still.' He thought sadly to himself. 'Shake it off Joaquin. Think positively!' He said to himself as he continued to walk towards the hall of hearts. When he got their, he entered the food court area and saw a good number of the bears eating, and laughing together happily. Shimmeringstar minded his own business and went to the buffet table and prepared himself a hearty meal of bacon, eggs, sausage, and a white role and grabbed himself a few white napkins and sat next to Share bear, while Cheer bear was across from him. They were talking to one another happily until they fell completely silent the moment he sat next to them.
"Um, Why don't we go sit over their Cheer?" Inquired Share bear. "It looks much nicer over their."
"Okay." Replied Cheer bear as she got up with Share and sat across the other side of the room. Shimmeringstar saw them walk away from his peripheral vision pretending he didn't notice what just occurred. Shimmeringstar now was beginning to feel a little nervous as this chipped away at his confidence. Although he didn't show it on his face, this did really bother him because this is exactly how people treated him when they didn't know him. 'Whatever, who needs them anyways!' He said to himself trying to eat his breakfast with his stomach feeling a bit queasy. 'That does it! If they want to treat me like that, I'm going to give it right back to them!" He promised to himself as he now began to eat a bit quicker. This thought made him feel better as he now was eating comfortably by himself. But just as he finished eating, he saw Tenderheart entering the hall as Shimmeringstar was now dumping the remainder of his food in the trash. He continued to look down minding his own business until he heard someone greet him.
"Hey Shimmeringstar!" Replied the bear overly friendly. "How are you doing?" Shimmeringstar looked up to him with a stern look and did not answer him as he showed his displeasure and walked away from him. "Hey? That's not nice!" Said Tenderheart placing his arms on his hips. Shimmeringstar immediately turned around and locked eyes with the brown bear.
"Don't you tell me what's nice and what it isn't nice!" Shouted Shimmeringstar as Tenderheart's eyes narrowed at him with a bit of irritation.
"What? I didn't do anything wrong to you. I said hi to you and you just completely blew me off!" He shouted back defensively. Shimmeringstar was about to answer him back but he noticed that the hall completely fell silent as everyone now looked at these two having their little spat.
"I don't have to answer to you!" He responded as he turned away from him.
"Hey, you can't talk to him like that!" Shimmeringstar turned around to see a angry Cheer bear standing with her arms crossed upon her chest. "Do you not know that he's one of the valued leaders of our family?"
"Don't make me laugh!" Shimmeringstar said holding his own.
"What did you say?" Inquired Cheer bear shocked.
"You heard me," He responded. "Anyways, this doesn't concern you!" With that, Shimmeringstar took a quick look at Tenderheart before he turned around and left the hall of hearts. All of the carebears stood their shocked at this turn of events as Cheer and Share bear both approached Tenderheart.
"What was that all about?" Inquired Cheer bear.
"I don't know," Replied Tenderheart. "Maybe because we all got upset at him for not receiving the gift from the Great Wishing Star." He reasoned.
"Either way," Said Share bear. "That doesn't give him the right to talk to you like that!" Replied Share bear angrily. "I think he needs a lesson in manners!" She said puffing out her chest.
"Now calm down Share bear," Instructed Tenderheart. "Remember he is still new here and we don't want to cause any trouble."
"Your right Tenderheart," Share said calming down. "But I hope someone teaches him a lesson!"
"Share bear," Said Cheer bear shocked.
"I'm sorry," Share apologized. "Its just that I don't like it when he talks to my friends like that."
"Its alright," Replied Tenderheart as he gently placed a paw on Share's shoulder. "He's probably just having a bad day."
"If he's having a bad day shouldn't we try and cheer him up?" Asked Cheer bear.
"That's a great idea Cheer!" Replied Tenderheart as he smiled.
"I know, I'll ask Champ to come with me!" She said happily as she waved good bye to her friends and left the hall of heart's in pursuit of Champ bear.
In Lonesomeheart's and Aqua's house, these two had breakfast at home and were now heading out to see Shimmeringstar.
"I hope he didn't take it too hard after what happened last night." Aqua bear said. "I thought everyone was a bit too harsh on Shimmeringstar just because he didn't accept the gift of immortality."
"He'll be fine," Replied Lonesomeheart bear. "Besides, your talking about Shimmeringstar the chosen one remember?"
"I suppose your right," Replied Aqua bear. "But I remember when I was a cub how I wish people would talk to me but never did because of the color of my fur."
"Yeah," Lonesomeheart replied. "I know exactly what you mean." She said pondering on the memory when they first met as cubs in Alaska.
"But thanks to Mel'feir, we met the carebear family!" Aqua said enthusiastically. "Sis, do you remember when we were rescued from Purity corp?"
"How could I forget?" She said in a monotone type of voice. "Do you also remember the time when Mel'feir helped you to learn your magical abilities that also led ro you speaking fluent dolphin?" She inquired.
"Yeah, I remember that!" He said with a smile.
"Speaking of which," Said Lonesomeheart bear. "That reminds me, aren't we going to confront Iilyana and Purity Corp? Who knows what other innocent animals they're trying to hurt!" She said angrily pounding her fists together.
"We tried that remember," Said Aqua bear. "Ever since that rescue that Mel'feir did with us, Purity Corp updated its security and that building in Australia that we were rescued from is far more advanced than ever before!" He said with a bit of discouragement.
"Oh yeah I forgot!" She replied.
"But now we have the chosen one! I'm sure he can help us to put an end to Purity Corp!" Replied Aqua bear enthusiastically.
"I don't know," Replied Lonesomeheart with doubt.
"What do you mean you don't know," Inquired Aqua bear. "As long as we have Shimmeringstar their is no way that we can fail!"
"Don't be so sure Aqua," She warned. "He still has much to learn about becoming a caring guardian and still has much to learn!"
"Oh what do you know!" He replied angrily
"Do you remember that one time when you thought you could swim and I had Mel'feir had to rescue you?"
"Yeah, but that was a long time ago! Now I can swim as fast as a dolphin and..."
"Speak the language of dolphins! I know ! I know!" She said a bit sarcastically.
"What's your problem?" He asked.
"Nothing." She responded.
"I know what your problem is Lonesomeheart," Aqua said teasingly. "Its because you never could master the art of magic isn't it?"
"Shut up!" She responded.
"Your especially jealous since I can use magic and you can't!" He teased. That did it as Lonesomeheart bear now chased after her brother who ran ahead of her on the rainbow bridge.
"Come back here you brat!" She demanded.
"Make me sour puss!" He said with his tongue sticking out.
"Aqua look out!"
"Huh!?" CRASH! Aqua bear collided with someone as he now shook his head sitting on a cloud bank. "ohh, What happened?" He said a bit dazed.
"Aqua bear watch where your going!" Demanded Shimmeringstar as he got up a bit irritated.
"Oh, hey Shimmeringstar!" Inquired Lonesomeheart bear as she ran towards him. "We were just on our way to see you!" She said enthusiastically.
"Whatever." Shimmeringstar said as he continued to walk alone.
"Hey, what's wrong?" She inquired running after him.
"Nothing!" HE responded as Aqua just joined them.
"I'm sorry Shimmeringstar for crashing into you." He said apologetically. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine!" He snapped back as Aqua bear swayed away surprised.
"Are you mad at me?" He said softly as a tear ran down his eye. Shimmeringstar turned and realized what he just did.
"I'm Sorry Aqua bear," Shimmeringstar said calmly. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Aqua still just stood there looking sad as he now began to cry out loud. "What's wrong with him?" He said as he turned towards Lonesomeheart.
"You see, ever since he was a cub, he's always been so overly sensitive," Explained Lonesomeheart.
"I apologized to him though." Shimmeringstar said hoping to avoid any further trouble.
"Yes, but you've got to remember that Aqua really likes you and looks up to you," Explained Lonesomeheart. "Ever since you accepted him as your little brother, he's grown very attached to you." Shimmeringstar turned and faced Aqua bear who still was crying. He sighed as he went over to Aqua bear and knelt down to one knee and gently embraced him in a hug.
"I'm sorry Aqua bear. I really am. I'm sorry for snapping at you." He said softly as he continued to hold him warmly in his arms. "Look at me." He said facing the bear who rubbed his eyes and looked at Shimmeringstar as he now stopped crying. "I'll always be your big brother and I'll always care for you. So please don't take this so hard."
"But you hurt my feelings!" He shouted.
"I know, and now I ask your forgiveness, can you forgive me?" He asked. The caring guardian looked up at him and smiled.
"I forgive you!" With that, he leaps and flung his arms around him embracing Shimmeringstar. "I love you big brother." He said softly in his ear.
"I love you too." Shimmeringstar said in return as a tear escaped from his eyes. "No matter what happens, I'll always be your big brother. And if anybody ever hurts you, they'll have to answer to me!" He said as he hugged the bear again.
"Um, Shim-Shimmeringstar?" Aqua bear said.
"Yes?" He responded.
"I-ca-n-'-t b--rea=th!" Shimmeringstar let go of his little brother as he now panted for breath.
"Sorry about that." Replied Shimmeringstar. "I guess I don't know my own strength."
"That's okay," Smiled Aqua bear as he gently put a paw on his the humans leg. "Just as long as I know that you'll always care for me. You can squeeze me as hard as you want." He said compassionately as he smiled. Shimmeringstar couldn't help but to smile back.
"So what's bothering you big brother?" He inquired.
"Nothing," He said firmly again.
"Oh come on now, you looked so upset earlier strutting around so angrily, when my sister asked you, what's wrong? Nothing," He said doing a perfect imitation of Shimmeringstar's face causing Shimmeringstar to laugh out loud. "Now will you please tell us what's wrong?" He said gently as he moved his paw softly affectionetely upon his leg. Shimmeringstar explained the days event to them from the beginning of his day, up to what happened to that point not leaving out any detail.
"I'm sorry your having such a tough day," Said Aqua bear.
"That would explain why you were so testy earlier." Replied Lonesomeheart.
"I wasn't trying to be that way," Said Shimmeringstar. "But when people treat me a certain way, I just don't take it as well."
"I understand," Replied Lonesomehart. "Patience, especially dealing with people is not one of my strong points. I can remember when Mel'feir our old friend tried to show me how to use magic and I couldn't learn it no matter how hard I tried and he got so frustrated with me at times." She said sadly. "So after a point, he gave up on showing me anymore and stuck with showing me how to fight with the saber he gave me instead."
"That sounds frustrating," Empathized Shimmeringstar. "I can remember my early struggles to learn the use of magic. But after a point, I got the hang of it."
"Good for you!" Replied Lonesomeheart bear sarcastically.
"Oh, come on," Replied Shimmeringstar. "Don't be so sore about it."
"All my life I wanted to master anything I tried. But ever since I've tried to learn magic, I've never even come close to mastering it." She said sitting down with her arms crossed over her knees.
"Well, have you asked Aqua bear to help show you?" He inquired.
"Yes, but I just don't have the patience to learn." She said looking down at the white clouds.
"Well, that's where your problem is,"Shimmeringstar pointed out. "You give up way too easily. What I think you should do is focus on one thing at a time until you master the basics one thing at a time. That's how I learned."
"Maybe your right," Lonesomeheart bear replied. "Maybe I don't have the patience to learn how to use magic."
"But sis, Shimmeringstar is right. The only way for you to learn is to keep at it!" He smiled at her. Even as angry as Lonesomeheart sometimes got, Aqua bear always managed to cheer her up since his smile was always so contagious.
"Your right," She conceded. "Aqua bear, would you mind teaching me?"
"Sure," He smiled. "Come on Shimmeringstar. You can help me to teach her."
"Sorry Aqua bear. I just want to be alone right now." Shimmeringstar said.
"Okay, see you later." He said as he turned back to Lonesomeheart as the two headed to the forest of feelings to train together while Shimmeringstar once again walked alone to his home.
Cheer, and Champ, and Cheer bear were now at Shimmeringstar's house and they knocked on his door and no one answered.
"I wonder where he could be?" Replied Cheer bear.
"Maybe he's training with the caring guardians again in the forest of feelings." Reasoned Tendeerheart.
"Well let's go see him sportsfan!" Replied Champbear. Then they heard the caring meter go off as it dropped a few points. "Huh? The caring meter! We better go see Wishbear to see who needs our help!" All three of them took off and completely abandon any initial thought of seeing Shimmeringstar.
It was now night time in Carelot around 8 P.M. as Shimmeringstar stayed in his home from the time he departed company with Lonesomeheart and Aqua bear. 'I love that little guy.' Thought Shimmeringstar happily to himself. 'But it seems those two are the only ones who really care about me. Even Wishbear has turned her back on me it seems like.' He said to himself sadly. 'I mean these are the carebears right? The defenders of caring and yet, not one person has come to visit me in my home here. Not one!' He said to himself as he continued to sulk sadly. 'You know what? Who am I kidding? I really do not belong here. I know that their was alot of confirmation to my dream, but I am not staying where I'm not wanted.' With that he quickly packed a few pairs of clothing and some other items and packed them in a rollable black suit case and was prepared to leave. He wondered if he might regret this, but he refused to dwell on those feelings any longer because he didn't want to change his mind. As a result, he opened the door to his house and peered out to see if anybody was out. Their was not a soul in sight except for Bedtime bear who did his usual rounds of duty at night. However, Bedtime bear was sleeping in Shimmeringstar's front yard using a cloud as a blanket to keep him warm. 'Oh, great, I have to be careful not to wake this joker up.' He grumbled to himself as he rolled his black suitcase out. As he tried to sneak by as quietly as he could, he rolled across a unlevel crease on the trail causing his suit case to hit the ground. He looked over at Bedtime bear and saw that he was beginning to stir. He quickly picked up his suit case and began to roll it noisily along as fast as he could. But just before he could get across the fenced gate,
"Shimmeringstar?" Inquired Bedtime bear. Shimmeringstar completely stopped. "Where are you going?" The bear said only half awake.
"Um, no where," He lied. "I'm off to go visit with an old friend." He lied again nervously.
"Who," Inquired the bear.
"Oh, that person would rather not have people know that he exists." He said not knowing what else to say.
"In the middle of the night?" Inquired Bedtime who now stood up yawning.
"Oh its not the middle of the night," Shimmeringstar said glad that he could finally tell the truth about something. "Its only 8:30 P.M. The night is young" He answered.
"Oh, I didn't realize it was still early," He replied. "Well, I have to be on duty in one hour tonite, so I better get back to bed."
"Yeah, um.. you do that sleepy bear..." Shimmeringstar said now seeing his opportunity to sneak away unnoticed.
"Bedtime bear!" The bear shot up as it eyed Shimmeringstar firmly.
"Oh sorry," He replied nervously closing the gate.
"Are you going to be away for a awhile?" Inquired Bedtime bear. 'Why is he asking me all of these !## questions!' He thought to himself in his mind. "Its alright if you are since you still have the next day four days off." Bedtime said in a matter of fact type of tone.
"I know," Replied Shimmeringstar. "Well, see you later!"
"Hey, waita second!" Replied Bedtime bear as he jumped over the fence. 'Ah, great just great!' Shimmeringstar replied to himself. "You still haven't answered my question. Where are you headed? You should always tell someone where your going."
"Um, Australia yeah that's it. "I'm headed to Australia to see an old friend of mine!" He lied again.
"Oh, well have fun!" Bedtime bear replied.
"Thanks, I will." He said as he turned to leave.
"Wait," Said Bedtime bear. "Aren't you forgetting something?" 'WHAT NOW YOU STUPID BEAR! CURSE YOU!' He said out loud in his mind as he turned and faced him once more forcing a fake smile.
"What am I forgetting?" Shimmeringstar said gritting his teeth angrily.
"You forgot this!" Bedtime then leapt on him and gave him a big hug. Shimmeringstar nervously hugged him back with one arm patting the bear's light blue back. "You call that a hug?" Replied Bedtime bear smiling.
"Fine, here let me give you a true hug!" Shimmeringstar let go of the handle of his suit case and he picked the bear and squeezed the bear very tightly around his back taking out some of his frustration on the bear.
"Can't breath! Can't breath!" Said Bedtime bear faintly grasping his throat. Shimmeringstar loosened his grip on the bear. Bedtime bear breathed heavily afterwards. "Now that's what I call a care bear hug! But I'll have to teach you to be a little bit gentler." Shimmeringstar did not respond as he gently placed the bear back down to his feet. "Well, have fun!" He said as he walked away. Shimmeringstar quickly picked up his suit case but before he could get rolling... "Shimmeringstar?"
"What now?" He said out loud.
"Although you didn't accept the free gift of immortality, I'm glad your part of this family. Everyone feels much safer now that your around."
"Really," Shimmeringstar said curiously. "And who said that?"
"Oh Wish bear, Trueheart, and Nobleheart and several others. Wishbear is especially fond of you." Shimmeringstar stood still taking this all in.
"I thought Wishbear was also disappointed in me for my decision." Shimmeringstar said.
"At first she was," Agreed Bedtime bear. "But later when she talked to me that same night, she couldn't sleep and kept telling me how much she wanted to tell you how much she really likes you."
"Wishbear? Likes me?" He said nervously.
"Yeah," Bedtime replied. "That's all I ever here her talk about. About how special she thinks you really are. I think she really likes you. And more than just a friend. But please don't tell Wishbear I told you that. She'd kill me."
"Not a word." Promised Shimmeringstar crossing his heart with one finger.
"Well, goodnite!" With that, Bedtime took off and went back to sleep in front of Shimmeringstar's front yard again. Shimmeringstar turned away and began to walk away with his heart screaming for him to stay, but he thrusted those feelings behind him in the back of his mind as a tear dropped from his cheek.