Written in memory of Rehtaeh Parsons, 17, a beautiful person who let the fear of living with the past, take her life away. I can only hope one day that justice will be done and her rapists punished.
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Chapter 11
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The longest a human could survive without sleep was eleven days and then only if the conditions were optimal. When stress was a factor, the time was brief.
Nina Martin had not slept in five. Not since she had awoken from the first nightmare.
No manner of lying in bed and staring at a dark ceiling could force her to let go of her fear and return to that hell. So instead she remained a wake, ingesting anything and everything that was labeled as having caffeine or 'energy'.
As she cracked open another green and black can of Monster Energy Drink, the frazzled teenage girl tried once again, to call up her other half; to call up Amneris.
Of course it did not work. She had not really expected it to.
Since the Trial had started, Nina had been completely disconnected from her past self, and was sorely missing the composure she had when the ancient priestess was in control. Her magic had apparently gone with her as well, leaving the now defenseless girl to face her worst fears alone.
Swallowing thickly, Nina ignored the feeling of maggots wriggling in her throat, praying to the gods to beg them to make her everything she ate stop doing that.
Finishing the drink quickly, she shuddered as the soft larvae turned to scuttling legs the more she drank. 'Just a hallucination', she reminded herself.
"Are you not tired, child?" the rasping voice asked as she stood up and resumed her pacing. Pacing; it was another way to stay awake. As long as she was standing, she wouldn't fall asleep, "If you sleep, you will feel better."
The voice had been her constant, unwelcome companion in the days since she had been bitten.
It giggled in the background each time she shivered with fear. It chuckled at her panic as she fought off hallucinatory beasts. It outright guffawed as she curled on her side, shuddering, as she tried to ignore the feel of rotting hands on her body.
"No," Nina whispered into the darkness of the room, "I would rather die than let that abomination touch me! I don't care if it is just a hallucination."
"Abomination?" the voice scolded, "Is HE the abomination? Was it not you that spurned his love and all the generous things he offered you?"
"I didn't love him," she protested dully. The voice has been saying things like this since the beginning.
"Was it not You, who betrayed him and the kingdom by placing a false queen on the throne? Was it not YOU that rotted his body and soul with your curse, making him the monster you see him as?"
"I had to do those things! It was the only way!" Nina tried to explain, her excuses sounding hollow even to her own ears.
"Perhaps it is YOU who are the monster, Nina Martin."
She WAS the one who had broken her vow of servitude to the temple, and then in a continued act of selfish pandering passed off her own bastard child as the chosen heir to the throne.
She should have just run. She should have spared everyone the pain of her actions, but she had not. Instead she had remained in the palace and allowed herself to be pampered as if she were a princess and then spurned the affection of the man who had ordered her taken care of.
She was selfish.
Looking back she had brought all this pain onto herself. She had sinned over and over again without penance and had stupidly expected it to turn out some other way.
She was a FOOL.
Perhaps she deserved no better than she had done to the Pharaoh and his family.
Perhaps she too deserved death.
Were there not cliffs but a few miles from here that bordered an abandoned quarry?
"Yes. Go there, priestess! Atone!" the voice demanded.
Yes, perhaps it WAS best to just end this constant cycle of rebirth, pain and death.
Ripping out a sheet of paper she wrote down her goodbyes and left them on her pillow.
"Would not a moratorium on your pain be a boon, priestess?" the voice encouraged, as it followed her silent descent down the stairwell, "Just a quick fall from the cliffs and all this fear and pain will be allayed until your next reincarnation is mature. Perhaps she'll be stronger. Strong enough to survive this pain. One can only hope."
She found herself nodding her head minutely in agreement to the voice's words as she carefully clicked the front door behind her and began to trudge barefoot through the frosted dew and thin layer of snowflakes that were forming.
How had November come without her noticing?
"How fitting? The first snow fall is considered the first step towards the death of the year, and here you are. Walking towards your own. At least you're not alone."
The voice began to cackle that maddening cackle that brought tears to her eyes and made her scrape at her eardrums. She ignored trickle of blood that came as one of her fingernails managed to slice through the skin of her ear.
Ignore the blood as always. At least this time it was her own blood on her hands. Looking up, she shuddered as the hallucinations returned in full force.
Snakes bite at her flesh, spiders the size of chairs swarmed her as rotting hands followed her.
It was a final accompaniment of dread, as she marched towards the rising sun; towards her death.
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"Alfie Lewis! If you ate any faster your stomach would explode!" Trudy chided the dark skinned boy as he scarfed yet another pancake without chewing, "I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you had a hollow leg!"
"Sorry Trudes, but it's Saturday AND it's snowing!" Alfie announced unabashed, "Faster I eat, the faster I get to play!"
"I'm of half a mind to make you wait forty-five minutes before I let you go," the house mother admonished.
Everyone at the table immediately started eating slower despite the words being directed at the resident trouble maker.
"Much better."
As soon as the matron had returned to the kitchen and had her back turned, the entirety of the eating students returned to their previous pace. All were eager to play in the snow.
"DONE!" Alfie exclaimed as he shot up from his seat.
"Hey! Wait for us! Nina and Amber haven't even come down yet," Patricia complained as she finished off her own plate. The others were standing up to join Alfie as he entered the foyer.
"Here!" a feminine voice shouted as a familiar blonde came skipping down the stairs.
"Has anyone told you that you like pink entirely TOO much?" Patricia asked, causing Mara and Joy to giggle.
"There is no such thing as TOO much pink!" Amber rebutted as she twirled in her bright pink winter ensemble, "Now let's go! I have a snowman to make!"
The rest of the house started moving to the door with this proclamation. Fabian however had noticed something amiss.
"Where's Nina?" Fabian asked, causing the others to stop and quite a few to make murmurs of complaint.
"Why do you even care? I thought you two broke up like a whole month ago?" Jerome rolled his eyes at the latest attempt to postpone the snow day, "Even Eddie doesn't want to wait, and he's her boyfriend."
This caused the groups' heads to swivel towards the aforementioned American.
He didn't seem to be paying attention to them though. He was standing in the open door frame, perfectly still, as he concentrated on something the others couldn't perceive.
"NINA, NO!"
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Once more the house was talking to him; this time with a sense of utmost urgency.
"Where's Nina?" he heard Fabian ask in the background.
'The trial will claim her if you are not fast enough,' the familiar 'voice' of the house warned as it filled his mind with visions of Nina, first a tear stained note on a pillow, and then her, slowing walking, barefoot through the woods. It then fast forwarded to her sitting on a large flat stone that protruded from the edge of a high cliff. It continued, drowning out Jerome's words as Nina stood up from her seated position, wrapped her arms around her chest and pushed herself from the cliff.
"NINA, NO!"
"Eddie?" Mara asked with concern at his sudden projection.
Without answering Eddie turned and vaulted himself through the crowd and up the stairs, tears already forming in his eyes.
He could not lose her again.
He would not lose her again!
Ignoring the sounds of feet following him, he burst into Nina's room and made a beeline for the previously envisioned piece of paper, sitting morosely upon her pillow.
Her bed didn't look like it had been slept in, merely sat on at the very most.
"Eddie?! This is MY room! You can't just…Eddie? Are you alright?" Amber asked as she entered the room, closing the door behind her and took in the sight of her friend and leader.
He had sunk to his knees in front of Nina's bed and was clutching a note as he stared at the wall.
"Read it," Eddie demanded as he fluidly stood, "READ IT! You were supposed to be watching her!"
Amber nearly cried as the man in front of her growled his accusation, his eyes flashing with blue light.
The others were murmuring in the hall as they listened in on the argument. They didn't want to come in and break up what seemed to be an interesting piece of drama.
Amber lead out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding, and carefully took the paper from his hand to read it.
Dear Beloved
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"It's been quiet in there for a while. Reckon it's safe to go in?" Joy asked as they eavesdropped on the quiet sobs that seemed to be coming from Amber.
The rest of the group shushed her as the noises inside the room became louder.
"Eddie? I-I…I am SO sorry! I thought she was fine. She-"
"You stupid, child! You didn't think! You KNEW what she was going through and you ignor-"
"EDDIE!" Patricia snarled as she opened the door and slammed it behind herself, "I don't care what is happening, there is NO reason to yell at Amber like that!"
The group outside the door held their breath as the sound of paper rustling took over for a moment.
"AMBER! You were supposed to be watching her!" Patricia's indignant turnabout came through the door.
Suddenly the door opened.
"Alfie, Fabian, Nina's missing somewhere near a quarry. Let's go," Patricia ordered as she swept through the befuddled crowd and pelted down the stairs. Reaching the bottom of the steps she turned and realized that neither of them had followed her and glared at both as she pulled a hand over her left eye and continued out the door.
Immediately upon seeing that signal the pair practically fell down the stairs after her. A moment later, Amber ran from her room, her face stained with tears, and followed them.
Before the assembled group could react, a loud crash came from the bedroom the blonde had vacated, quickly followed by a similarly distraught Eddie who raced down the stairs in record time and joined the others outside.
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"What the hell just happened?" Mara asked Jerome and Joy, who were the only ones remaining.
That was a good question.
"Haven't a clue, but I bet a quick looksee into the offending room might tell us something," Jerome grinned conspiratorially. So what if he had his own agenda? Let it not be said that Jerome Clarke wasted any opportunities. And THIS was a golden opportunity.
"I wanna see what crashed," Joy grinned, "Eddie's going to be in a world of trouble when Amber tells Trudy he made her cry, and wrecked her room."
Opening the door the three stared wide-eyed at the over turned bed that had somehow ended up on top of and perpendicular to Amber's.
"Talk about temper tantrum. Eddie's got some serious anger issues," Mara commented as she nudged some of the items that had been displaced with her foot.
Joy threw caution to the wind and ignored the personal belongings beneath her feet. As if it were her own room, the impetuous girl began rifling through Nina's things, occasionally holding up an item of clothing and admiring it. After discarding a number of the items, she slipped a pair of golden cuffs onto her wrists.
"Bit loose, but they're pretty," Joy admired the items before returning to her digging, still wearing the impermissibly borrowed jewelry.
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Jerome was sitting on the floor reading a piece of wrinkled paper intently.
Dear beloved,
I tried to be strong, but it seems that reality catches up to everyone in the end.
I am sorry that I could not be the woman that you and the others needed me to be. I am sorry I was not able to overcome my past. In the end it was the constant reminders of all my sins, and the self-disgust I felt that undid me. When I realized that every bad thing that has happened to us was my fault, I simply could not in good conscience continue. I could not continue to let you down.
I think the worst part is that no matter how much I tell myself that it was all just a bad dream, I cannot seem to forget the feel of that man's hands on my body. I cannot forget all the people who lost their lives because of my mistakes.
Because of my lies.
Because of my stupidity and my pride, we both missed out on raising our daughter and for that I am truly sorry.
I have been selfish and I do not deserve a man as wonderful as you Eddie.
With all the love I have left in my soul, good-bye.
Nina Martin
Ps. Tell the others I love them. Lead them well. Sibuna
"Sibuna," he whispered as he looked down at the last word and traced the small illustration of a hand next to an eye with a L shaped line next to it.
Why does that name sound so familiar?
The word brought flashes of masks and memories of kidnapping.
It wasn't everything he'd lost but it was enough for him to come to a certain understanding.
"Those bloody bastards! They fucking mind wiped me!" Jerome exclaimed suddenly as the epiphany came. It wasn't a hand over and eye! It was a hand over part of a face, the L was a nose!
SI-fucking-BUNA! It was a secret society!
"Jerome?" Mara asked bewildered by the second sudden, inexplicable outburst of the day, "What's wrong?"
"MAGIC! It's REAL!" Jerome exclaimed, ignoring the stares of the two girls, "They thought they could just take my memories and I wouldn't find out! I'll show them! Those bloody bastards messed with the wrong mind!"
"JEROME?!" Joy cut off his soliloquy with an expression demanding explanation, "What in the same of all that is holy are you going on about?!"
"SIBUNA!" he replied, "Don't you remember Joy? You died! They brought you back!...They-they erased my memory of it all!"
Mara was staring at her boyfriend with a look that clearly said she thought he was delusional. That is until she looked at Joy and instead of seeing a similar look, she saw a look of understanding.
"I-I can't remember," Joy whispered, "When I try to bring it up all I see is fog. All I remember is something about some man named Rufus Zeno..or was it Renee?"
"RUFUS!" Jerome nearly shouted, "It was Rufus! He's the one who kidnapped Eddie and I, He also kidnapped Patricia…I-…I worked for him. I was helping him!"
The young man seemed on the verge of despair at this adumbration, "I betrayed them. They couldn't trust me, so they wiped my memory of everything that happened."
"They-"
"Can you PLEASE explain what on earth is going on?" Mara implored her two friends who were standing there staring at each other.
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"It's quite beautiful," Nina agreed with the voice.
She was currently sitting on a large flat boulder that protruded from the side of the cliff, allowing her to swing her legs over the hundred foot precipice. The view was of an open limestone quarry, its bright blue water shimmering with the colors of the sunrise.
"A fitting place to die," the voice replied, "and the sunrise is especially exquisite. It's almost as if Ra was welcoming you."
The low hanging orb of light was casting rose colored rays across the landscape as it slowly ascended into the sky.
"Will I get to see my daughter again?" Nina asked her eyes closed as she enjoyed the warmth the sun offered her. The rest of her body was stiff and numb from the hours she had spent in the snow. Her snow soaked, white, night gown offered little protection as it clung to her shivering frame.
"Yes, she's waiting for you. Death is the only way to see her again," the voice answered, "Death is the only way out."
The voice was no longer harsh and cold as it had been throughout the trial. Now it was warm and comforting. Sweetly feminine instead of harshly male. Perhaps even the most evil of beings had good somewhere within them.
"What about my parents. Will I see them again?" she asked as yet another tear streamed down her face.
"Yes, they are waiting for you, they love you. Never forget that," the voice urged as it whispered in her ear.
The feeling of warm arms wrapped around her in a hug as she scooted forward another inch towards the edge.
"What about Eddie? This will break his heart," Nina thought despondently, "And Gran. How could I have forgotten about Gran? This will kill her."
"They do not have to deal with this pain. You do," the voice expressed, "Just a few more inches and all your pain will go away."
The blond moved forwards a little more.
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"Okay, just to recap. Sibuna is pretty much all of the students in Anubis House but us? And they deal with supernatural disasters that are ancient Egyptian in origin?"
"Yes, though technically, Joy and I were both members at one point or another," Jerome pointed out, "So you're really the only person who hasn't been in Sibuna."
Joy glared at him for his lack of tact, "What I want to know is why I don't remember what amounts to a whole YEAR of my life!"
"I dunno, I didn't lose that much, but I remember something about being kidnapped and even that's very hazy. I also remember being a member of Sibuna at one point," Jerome replied.
Mara stared at them like the whole world had gone crazy, "You do realize that this all sounds crazy don't you!"
Joy and Jerome looked at her.
"I suppose," Jerome answered, "The only way to know for sure is to go after those memory stealing bastards and ask them."
Before they could respond, the boy turned on his heel and marched out of the room, intent on confronting the perpetrators.
With a glance between them to confirm their next action, the two girls followed after him.
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"Hurry up!" Fabian ordered Amber as she lagged behind the others, "If you don't hurry, I'm going to leave you behind!"
"These boots aren't meant for running!" Ambers shot back as she tried to pick up speed. Alfie, Patricia and Eddie had gone ahead with Eddie at the front, running at break neck speeds.
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Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead. Please don't be dead.
Khai was chanting to himself as he allowed his magic to assist his speed.
He was nearing the edge of the quarry going nearly twenty miles an hour and had to use magic to prevent himself from falling off the cliff. Even with his enhanced physique, a fall from that height, not tempered by magic, would still kill him.
"Nina!" he yelled out, hoping she would answer and allow him to find her, "NINA!"
"Eddie!" a male voice shouted as its owner skidded to a stop, "I see something on the other side!"
Alfie had just arrived on his bike, with Patricia on the handle bars.
Focusing his enhanced vision, Khai stared horrified as a familiar blonde figure in white night dress, wrapped her arms around herself and stepped off the cliff. The slightly translucent fabric of her dress fluttered around her as she plummeted to her death.
"NOOO!"
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"What about Amber?" Nina asked herself aloud, "I'll never get to laugh at her ridiculously pink outfits again. This will crush her."
"But you won't have to deal with earthly problems anymore," the voice replied.
"Problems? Like what? Having friends that love me?" She spat back, "Smiling when Aflie does a magic trick? Or going on adventures with Patricia?"
"No, problems like, working your life away, being in debt, knowing your daughter has been dead for millennia, always remembering the pain you have endured, watching your friends die and grieving them," the voice prompted as its invisible arms hugged her harder, "This will be a release from all that pain."
"NO!" Nina snapped back, trying to push the voice away, "those are all a part of life! Life is a precious thing!"
It was as if a shroud of depression had been lifted from her. The crawling feeling of insects and the monsters surrounding seemed to abate as she stood up.
At that moment she realized her fear was a palpable thing, a miasma of darkness surrounding her in a haze. Pseudopods of tangible fear extended from the wall and grasped for her.
"I refuse," she growled with anger, "I refuse to allow the pain I have felt and the pain I may feel to prevent me from feeling the pleasure of happiness and love. I refuse your insidious words you evil hag! I refuse the darkness you preach and I SWEAR with all of my being and on my immortal soul that I shall persevere. I shall show courage and embrace my fear instead of taking the easy way out. I realize now, that there are other options, that life is never so bad as to give up the chance to be happy. Instead I shall fight for all that is good. I will not fear the past or memories of pain! I WILL LIVE! For I AM Nina Martin and I AM Amneris!"
The miasma retreated into itself, becoming smaller and smaller as it concentrated into a single form.
The pharaoh.
"My child, my sweet, beautiful daughter," the voice, now sweet and comforting called to her, "You are strong. Never let anyone tell you otherwise."
Turning towards the voice, Amneris was gifted with the sight of an ethereal women with luscious black hair floating in mid-air. Her purple eyes and golden skin shimmered with her aura.
"Isis," Neri exclaimed as she fell to her knees and bowed.
"Most cherished daughter," Isis spoke, offering her hand to the young girl, "Do not kneel. I am your mother, not your ruler."
Taking the offered hand, Nina returned to her feet and was pulled into a hug so warm it felt as if the rays of the sun itself had wrapped its arms around her. The chill of the winter air no longer touched her skin.
"Mother," Neri sobbed, "Why? Why did you say those thing?"
"Until now the voice was your own doubt. In the end though, my words were to test you. You see the Trial of Fear is not one that many survive. Often they allow their fears to control them and use death as a means to escape. They lack the wisdom to see the light in the world and instead allow the darkness to consume them. Suicide is selfish. Those who chose it do not see that there are people who love them and who will be greatly hurt by their actions," Isis explained, "I am thankful that you were strong. You realize that life has much to offer and that dying at your own hand would steal that happiness not just from yourself but from those who love you."
The warm embrace ended as the arms retreated so she could turn to face the rotting pharaoh that still stood near them.
"This is your fear. As long as you carry it with you, you will not be able to pass this trial," Isis explained.
Taking a deep breath Amneris stepped towards the monster that stalked her nightmares and wrapped her arms around him, "Today is the day you die."
She was truly embracing her fear.
The Decrepit corpse dug the nails of its decaying hands deep into her flesh as it fought her, its teeth buried themselves into her shoulder as she used all her strength to drag it to the edge of the cliff.
"Today is the day I am set free!"
With one last shove she was falling from the cliff towards the deep blue-green of the quarry lake beneath her.
She nearly shouted in triumph as the putrefying skin disintegrated and was replaced once more by the welcome warmth of her mother's arms.
In the distance she could hear someone shouting but the exhaustion that came from a week without sleep finally took over, forcing her eyes closed.
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Eddie nearly fell to the ground in shock and relief as a shimmer of light surrounded Nina stopping her body from falling and began floating back up and towards him.
"I believe she is in need of medical treatment," a melodious female voice said as the light lowered Nina's unconscious body to the ground in front of them, "If it were not forbidden for me to interfere in the trials I would have healed her myself, but alas I must ask you to hurry and do so in my stead."
And just like that the light and the voice were gone.
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Jerome, Mara and Joy had not been fast enough to witness the on goings at the quarry but they had been able to catch up to Amber and Fabian who were greeted moments later by a hurried Eddie Miller who was carrying an unconscious and bleeding Nina, as well as Alfie on a bike with Patricia on the handle bars.
"What happened?" Mara asked concerned.
Of course she was ignored as the procession they had been following did an about turn and raced back towards the house.
In fact not a question was answered until Nina had been loaded into an ambulance and rushed to the hospital with Eddie at her side.
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"Can SOMEBODY, PLEASE explain to me what is going on?" Mara nearly shouted as the occupants of the house assembled in the living room. Victor had followed the ambulance with Eric in the headmaster's car and Trudy was outside speaking to a social worker that seemed to materialize out of thin air.
"Nina was playing in the woods, tried to climb a tree and fell," Patricia lied succinctly.
"You really expect us to believe that practical, Nina Martin, would go outside when its ten degrees, in nothing but a thin nightgown just to climb a tree before the sun even came up," Jerome snapped, "Cut the bullshit! We know you did something to our memories and that your part of some secret group. Now tell us what's going on before we go to the teachers."
Sibuna merely stared wide-eyed at the trio.
"Ah, well, that…that changes things," Fabian replied quietly.
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A/N: Hope you enjoyed. This was a really hard chapter for me to write.
Please review! It means a lot to me and helps me write.