As soon as the door to Apartment 402 clicked shut, Rei slid to the floor, her back to the door, trying to catch her breath after spending hours of her time combing the city for her target. She could very well have called Section Two to assist her in her search, but they couldn't be bothered with such trivialities.

After a long period of recuperation she staggered to her feet and did some chores, starting with the ones closest in proximity. First, she replaced the lid on the tin box of tea, which had been sitting out in the open for hours on end. Then she turned off the stove on her countertop and took a rag to gingerly mop up the water that over boiled from the kettle. Indifferent to the fate of the rag, she tossed it in the sink.

Next she went into the bedroom and delicately picked up off the floor a scooper spoon that was used to hold tea. After dumping the remains into a trash bin, she put the spoon in the sink to wash later. She scooped up the scattered tealeaves on the floor into a duster, and dropped them into a garbage can.

Finally she came upon the notebook, which was lying open, cover up, exactly where it was when she ran out the door. She paused here, at an impasse; a part of her wanted to throw it out the window for creating such a disturbance in her life. But a larger part knew that the notebook had become so engrained in her daily routine that she could not live without one.

She sat down cross-legged and drew the notebook into her lap. Then she started to write, heedless of the pain she felt...

I believe I have created an error. I do not know how or what caused such an event to take place, so distorted are my thoughts at the moment. I simply wish that I could unmake the events that occurred today.

It was afternoon when I awoke to the sound of knocking on the door. The doorbell was still disabled and the Commander simply intrudes when he wishes. My mind was still disoriented at the lack of sleep, so I arose and opened the door, asking, "What is it?"

Mind numbed by lack of sleep, I was slightly slower in realizing that Ikari was standing at the door.

He retreated slightly. "Oh, I'm sorry. Were you sleeping?"

Although his politeness was unwarranted, it was still appealing. "The restart test took all night," I replied as I wearily rubbed my eyes.

A smile grew on his face. "Unit Zero is fixed, then! I'm happy for you!"

Although he detests piloting his Unit, he knows that EVA is one of the mainstays for my purpose, and so feels happiness when that purpose is restored. Is that the meaning of compassion? To feel joy and sorrow with others?

Perhaps, then, I do not have enough compassion.

I acknowledged his statement with a "yes," once I realized that he was waiting for a confirmation of his last observation.

After a moment, he looked down and the smile vanished from his face. "Here," he said in a much more subdued tone, "these are all the handouts."

He turned away, recovering a smaller smile than that which blossomed on his face before. "Get some rest. Sorry I woke you up."

As he turned away, I felt something compel me to delay him for just a moment of his time. I heard myself ask, "Why don't you come in for a while?"

He turned around, surprised at the request, and for an instant I thought he would refuse.

Then he said, "Oh, okay."

I opened the door wider to allow him entrance and went inside, certain that he would follow. Along the way I retrieved the clothes from the floor and put them away; I abruptly felt extremely discomforted by their presence. "I apologize for the disorder in the room." After procuring a chair and moving it to the center of the room, I declared, "You may sit if you wish. I will prepare some tea."

After making all necessary preparations, I waited for the water to boil on the heating element and began to reflect on Ikari's mannerisms, and my reactions to them.

I feel different in Ikari's presence. More self-aware, more self-conscious of my mannerisms. Yet I am not discomforted by these alterations; in fact, because of them I wish to acquire more time around him. And the most appealing aspect is that he does not appear to mind.

The water came to a boil, whistling out of the pot and jolting my train of thought. That moment was when I realized that I did not know what amount of tea leaves to utilize in order to make proper tea. I picked up the box of Earl Grey and attempted to read the instructions, but they were in English, a language in which I was not fluent. "How many tea leaves do you use to make tea?" I asked. Ikari did not respond; since he was in the other room, I assumed that he did not hear me.

"I have tea here, but I've never made tea," I observed in a louder tone, wishing for some manner of reply. Again, no response.

I scooped out a sizable amount of tea leaves with the spoon inside the box and walked into the main room, intending on asking Ikari for his advice. "Ikari, is this much the proper amount?"

I found him standing up with my notebook in his hand.

I do not recall dropping the spoon on the ground.

I do not recall running over to him.

I do not recall ripping the notebook out of his hands.

All I can remember is that I was holding the spoon in my hand, and looking at Ikari, and then there was a clatter. In the next instant I was facing him, the notebook clutched in one hand while I felt a stinging sensation in the other.

It was in the next moment when I noticed the bruise rapidly forming on Ikari's cheek that I realized what I had done.

Ikari broke the silence with a stutter. "S-sorry... the notebook was open and well, I was curious...sorry..." Avoiding my eyes, he turned and grabbed his satchel, and began to run.

"Wait!" I said, but he must not have heard, because he exited all the same.

I could not have followed after him immediately in my state of undress, so I hastily put on what clothes I could find before exiting.

He was not in the hallway, nor was he in the vicinity of the complex. He was not at Major Katsuragi's apartment, and he was not at NERV. I searched the entire city desiring with the utmost hope to encounter him, although I did not know what to say to him I had actually managed to find him.

It was of no consequence, for Ikari was as intangible as the wind. I have failed today, but perhaps tomorrow I will be able to find him and discover what both our errors were.

TBC?

Author's notes: Wholly $! I killed the R/S and derailed the manga, the bible of all R/Sness! I can no longer live. Good-bye, cruel world:runs all the way to San Diego Bay Bridge and jumps off and takes a shotgun blast to the head while falling:

Preread by ShinobiCyrus, Andrew J Talon, and PhilG

(ShinobiCyrus: Dummy. That's not the way to kill yourself. You must do it properly: the ritual suicide of sepuku! You disembowel yourself, and I'll quickly cut your head off. After all, what are friends for?)