Ohayo! Well, change of plans for the story… I will NOT, I repeat, will NOT be sleeping with everybody… Only my faves: Madara/Tobi, Kisame, Hidan, Zetsu, and Sasori. Oh, and one more Akatsuki member is gonna be killed off… betcha can't guess who! And part of the truth behind my past is revieled! Tsunade-bashing and Kohonagakure bashing in here, so if you no likey, NO READ IT!!! Lol…
Shout outs to everyone… all like 20 something of you… I LOVE YOU ALL!!! THANK YOU FOR THE WONERFUL REVIEWS!!! TT (Kissyface)
XD, I just had to go and have another Mountain Dew. I normally don't get headaches from drinking it, but I also had three of the best sugar cookies ever! They were HUGE and I got all three for One BUCK!!! And the overload of sugar caused a headache… BUT MD MAKES ME HYPER AND MENTALLY UNSTABLE LIKE TOBI!!!! XD
Iku Ze! (I promise I'm done ranting!)
"KEILALA!!! MOMMY!!!! WAKEY TIME!!!" I groaned as the boy that I technically could call my son screeched in my ears. "MOMMY!!! GET UP—AUGGH!!! SHE'S GONNA KILL ME!!!!" I got up and began to go into all out street brawl mode when I noticed the sheet fall off of my very naked body. With a squeak of surprise, I dove back under the covers again and found Madara grinning up at me, naked as well.
"Morning, koi." His hand brushed over my face, reminding me of last night. My face turned bright red.
"Was last night… Did we… you know…" His laughter made me narrow my eyes. "Stopit."
"Wow… you're amazingly sexy for a 17-year-old… and even sexier in bed with me."
"You cocky son of a—" Madara cut me off with a kiss, and I lost it. I didn't care who found us, I just wanted him to fuck me again.
"Mom?" Colton's voice drew me from the world of ectasy again, and I growled.
"Coltonio… get the fuck out of my room. NOW!" Madara pinned me and kept his face hidden as I tried to rush the pudgy little boy. "Lemmie up, I'm only gonna kill him once or twice…"
"Enough, Keilala-koi." Madara spoke softly. "You have other things to worry about… like training." I groaned inwardly at the word training, but felt a glimmer of hope because that also meant excersize. Of course, I could get plenty of exersize in bed with Madara. ;D But no, I had to get up.
"Alright, Madara-sama…"
"You don't have to call me Madara-sama. Madara is just fine. If you must use a honorific… I prefer Madara-koi from you." He kissed me again before I could protest.
"Alright, Madara-koi… Gomen."
"There's nothing to be sorry about…"
"Keilala!!! Get up already!!!"
"Yeah, un! We're starvin', and we can't eat without you, un!"
"Oh shut up and let her sleep…. Honestly… and where is Tobi?" Madara's eyes widened.
"Oh shit… I'm gonna have one hell of a time getting out of this jam…" He moved quickly, pulling on his pants, shirt, and cloak. Last of all was his mask. "You'd better hurry."
"Yes, Madara." He left and I pulled on a pair of blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and my cloak. Rushing out, I found that the food was done and getting cold. "Sorry guys… didn't sleep well last night… Colton's screeching didn't help either…" I growled as I glared down the little bastard. Oh he would pay, dearly.
"Sorry mommy."
"Gawd! I'm not you mother! Colt, I am your friend! Friends cannot be parents, parents can't be friends."
"Who says that they can't be friends?" Sasori looked at me in concern. "My parents were my best friends."
"Well, your parents were normal. You didn't have some psycho woman and a hell spawn as parents." All eyebrows raised at that. Here I go, explaining again…
Keilala's flash back…
"Daddy, why isn't mommy home yet?"
"Mommy's dead, Amy… and it's all you're fault." The child with ever changing eyes looked up at her green-eyed father. His gaze held hate, contempt, and malice towards her. But she was so innocent, so blind to the truth lurking just within…
"I never hurt mommy!!!"
"Yes you did. You drove her to her death, you little witch!!!"
"NO!! NO!! IT'S NOT TRUE!!! I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG!!! USO DA!!!" (It's a lie!!!) A large hand came down and slapped the little girl, throwing her into the streets.
"I hope you're happy… and that you die in the streets!!" The door slammed and the girl was left alone on the streets.
"Why momma… why did you make me like this?? Why does papa hate me?" The same girl, the same street. The same house. It's all aged though, and the girl is a teen now. In the house, her father is asleep, smiling at his new wife's presence.
"Father… what a useless word…" The girl snuck in, as she had done so many times to steal food. But this time, she crept upstairs, into the room of her father and his wife, and raised her knife to strike…
"After I killed his second wife, I hid in the woods for a bit. Eventually, my father got caught in one of the traps I laid to protect against bears, and I killed him there… Like I said, my life was a whole hell and some. My grand parents found me on the streets, and took me in. Once they did, I felt free. But this… this is a heaven compared to there." I smiled sadly at the memories.
"Well, that explains a bit… but how did your mother die?" Kakuzu leaned towards me, intrigued by my story.
"Suicide." Dead silence followed for a bit, then Tobi spoke.
"Why would Keilala's mommy want to kill herself? Keilala is a good girl!" I smiled at him.
"My eyes… they drove her insane…" Everyone looked at my eyes, which were rapidly changing colors.
"Well, they do set of quite the display…" Hidan was interrupted as Kisame arrived dragging Itachi behind him, blood dripping everywhere.
"Keilala-sama… Kohona's bastard beasts arrived and nearly killed Itachi before we could get Naruto… Gomen…" I nodded and walked over to them.
"Kakuzu, please heal Itachi." Nodding, the treasurer took the Uchiha from his partner and hauled him into the infirmary. "Tell me everything."
"Well, Naruto knew that the Akatsuki has a new leader, and began to mock us. We had him cornered, then Maito Guy and Rock Lee arrived and nearly killed Itachi. It was all I could do to protect us and get us back." I nodded.
"You did just fine." He looked confused. "Sure getting a mission done successfully is important, but you risked your life to save your teammate. That is something entirely different. To lose Itachi now would mean a great deal of hardship to fill the spot." Kisame looked relieved.
"I sure am glad that you're not like Pein… He would have killed me if I'd done the same thing, though I still would do it." I smiled.
"So, Tsunade told him, eh?" Kisame nodded. "Well, Plan B then."
"What is plan B?" Sasori stood, ready to help.
"Choco, Brandi." My two friends came to my side. "Do you think you could lure Naruto away from Kohona?" They seemed unsure, but nodded.
"Yeah, just lay a trap with ramen in it." Brandi grinned a bit.
"Sure, then jump him and beat the shit out of him." Choco nodded and seemed a bit weak. "We can handle that."
"Well, you two don't have to hurt him, just get him away from the village… I'll deal with it then." Sasori's mouth dropped.
"Are you serious!?!? You could be killed!!!"
"Not likely. I am psychic, so I can predict what he will do well before he does." A smirk crossed my face. "Besides, I haven't had a good one-on-one fist fight in years. This will do me some good." They all nodded and a sickening gulp could be heard. "Alright, go on you two."
XxXxXxXxXx
"Naruto-san! Are you hurt?" Lee knelt before his comrade, who had been beaten up quite a bit.
"Yeah… I'm fine… just… gotta get some… ramen…" A heavenly scent drifted his way. "RAMEN!!!!" He took off after it, soon seeing a pretty girl holding a bowl of the delicious noodles.
"Want some?"
"You BET!!!"
"Well, then come join me!!!" He eagerly followed her, just as enchanted by her face as he was the ramen. He didn't hear Guy and Lee calling to him, trying to steer him away from the danger… But it was already too late. " Hope you don't mind, but my cousin will be joining us…" She showed him into a clearing were a boy stood, eating ramen.
"Nope! Don't mind at all! By the way, I'm Naruto. Who're you?"
"I'm Brandi." The girl smiled at him.
"Choco" The boy stopped stuffing his face for one second before tipping his head back to dump the bowl down his throat.
"Uh, are you related to Choji by any chance?" Naruto looked at six empty ramen bowls beside his feet.
"Nah. You don't know any of our family."
"Oh, okay." Naruto sat and grabbed a fresh bowl. He was about to eat when a sight caught his eye. A beautiful woman in a long cloak came walking their way, smiling. Her hair shone like a fresh copper coin, and fell just below her waist. As the light caught in her eyes, he saw that they changed color every so often.
"Brandi, Choco, did you do like I asked?"
"Yes, Keilala-san!" They both stood resptectfully as she approached.
"Keilala… where have I heard that name…?" Naruto looked at her even closer. Then his eyes widened. On the bottom third of her cloak, red clouds dotted the black cloth. "Shit… no…"
"Hello, Naruto… we've been waiting." With one punch, she hit a pressure point and he was out cold.
XxXxXxXxXx
Tsunade could not believe her eyes. Keilala had broken her promise! The girl hefted Naruto's limp body in her arm, and began to walk off.
"Come on you two." The other teens followed her straight away, and Tsunade rushed ahead, bursting from the bushes.
"Halt, Akatsuki!" Keilala smiled, apparently amused.
"Well, I was wondering when you would come out. I know that you were spying on my friends here, and really, do you think that it has changed anything?"
"Keilala, you said that you would not hurt Naruto. Yet you sent Itachi and Kisame after him?!?!"
"Yes, well, I said that I would not hurt him. Itachi and Kisame are two entirely different people. And you broke your word as well, Tsunade-baka." The Hokage cringed at the insult. "You promised me that you would not tell a soul of what you knew."
"How could you possibly--?"
"I have eyes on the inside, Tsunade… Now, I must be gone."
"But… Y-You can't carry Naruto!" Keilala looked down her nose at the old med nin. "You're pregnant! And you even said yourself that you were going to give birth, then possibly give the child for adoption."
"Tsunade, I am not pregnant anymore… The pregnancy was a port gate in duisgise." The older woman's jaw dropped. "Now step aside."
"NO! I won't let you take him any further." Tsunade held her ground. A strange sound was to be heard then, and Deidara appeared out of the sky on a bird.
"Keilala-sama! You called me?" A smile played across the young leader's lips.
"Yes, Deidara. Please, Take Naruto, Brandi, and Choco back to the base. I will take care of Tsunade." The bomber nodded, knowing full well what the woman was capable of. He helped the two other teens get Naruto onto the bird, then helped them on as well. In an instant, they were gone.
"You… witch!!!" Tsunade rushed the girl, and she dodged at the last moment. Suddenly, the entire clearing was lit in light. From the sky, two powerful beings floated, one was a woman with the wings of an angel who shared Keilala's hair and facial features. The other was a man with the horns and tail of a demon dragon and shared her eyes.
"Keilala! My child, I have searched everywhere for you!!!"
XxXxXxXx
"Keilala! Come here to momma!" The woman with angel wings hovered just above the ground and reached out to me. I backed away instinctively.
"My mother is dead… she committed suicide…" I looked at the woman even closer. She did look a bit like me… hell, same hair and face… but the man. The man shared my eyes.
"Keilala… We cannot expect you to remember… so we will give you the memories… reach for me." The man out-streached his hand, and I took it, wondering just how they could know me…
Inside Keilala's Mind
"Keilala… you were born seventeen years ago in this world… Your father and I…We loved each other and we loved you… But war broke out between the Gods of Light and the Gods of Darkness, all over which faction would get you. But you hold two opposing realms of dominion, one of light and one of darkness…" The woman spoke and hugged me close.
"So then… how did I end up in the other world? If I'm from this one?" Both looked pained from the memories.
"When the war threatened to destroy all that we gods were sworn to protect, we knew that there was only one way to protect this world and you. So we combined powers, your mother and I, and we sent you to the best possible place. But after that… we had no control, or else you would have been better cared for… My child, I am sorry…" Tears spilt from my father's face and fell onto the ground.
"Father…" He looked up at me as I spoke. "I can forgive you for that… you did the best thing…" He smiled, as did my mother.
""My child, I am glad that you, your father, and I could get to know each other… And now, for your inheritance." I raised an eyebrow. "Within you, you hold the realms of Love and Chaos, your realms of dominion. Love you got from me, as I am Ashiratu, Goddess of Love and Attraction. Your father is Deddo, God of Chaos and Destruction, which is where you got the realm of Chaos. And now you must learn to use them, to help your friends."
"You don't mind that they are S-Ranked criminals?"
"No, your friends and your path are for you alone to choose. The man you are in love with, Madara Uchiha, is quite evil. Yet he is very protective of you and loves you, and will care for you well. I am proud that you killed Pein, even though I wanted him for myself." My father grinned and embraced me. "Now it is time." He joined hands with my mother and they began to read the inscription that appeared on the ground before them.
"The time is now; The gates of the Heavens opened.
The child chosen by time and first born of the opposites has been found.
Now the power owed to her must be given; and the ties of binding broken.
As the gods of the realm have spoken; Thus it must be done.
All binds have been severed, Here and now, and the powers of the goddess granted onto she." My body felt all tingly, and long-forgotten memories of wars and treaties of the gods played before me. Secret trysts opened doors to the mysteries of my conception, birth, and the following war. Then, it all stopped.
"You now know ten jutsus that will allow you to function in this world properly. Good luck, my daughter…"
-Real World-
The light faded and my parents dissolved with the light. Tsunade looked at me as if I had grown two heads.
"Wh-Where were you?!?!" I grinned at her.
"Awww… Were you worried about little old me? I was just learning a bit of history, that's all."
"What did the god and goddess want?"
"To bless their child."
"Wait… you're—" A look of realization crossed her face. "You're the daughter of a god and a goddess… so that makes you a goddess as well." I nodded.
"Now, back to business…" My hands flew through the symbols of a new jutsu. "Deddo no Jutsu!" (Art of Death!) The ground below the Hokage split and spilled a stench into the valley that killed off every living thing, be it animal or plant.
"Ugh… what… what is this? You're destroying everything!!!"
"I know… lifes a bitch ain't it?" She cringed as I laughed, a dark, crisp sound that was much more evil-sounding that I had wanted. Oh well. "Time to finish this, Tsunade-baka… I hope you like zombies."
"Huh?" That caught her off guard long enough to perform another jutsu.
"Deddo Bushin no Jutsu!" (Art of Dead Clones) Long-buried corpses rose up and began to twist in shape and form, until all of them looked exactly like me. And there I stood, with ten exact replicas. Naruto had nothing on me.
"Oh…. Sick!" Tsunade reeled back at the sight. Then she charged. "Heaven Kick of PAIN!!!" Landing the attack perfectly, Tsunade was soon surprised, non too pleasantly, by it's transoformation into larva that latched onto her leg and began to drain her of her blood. "EWWW!!! I HATE BUGS!!! GET EM OFF!!!"
"Well, Tsunade, I think this is where you bid the world good bye!"
"Secret Wood Style Technique: Deep Forest Emergence!!!" A tree suddenly grew up around all of my remaining clones and me. Looking about, I saw just the guy I had expected.
"Oh, Hello there, Yamato." I smiled at him sweetly and eyed him closely.
"Who are you and how do you know me?"
"Oh, me? I'm Keilala!"
"The new Akatsuki Leader?!?!" His eyes widened.
"Yes, and I read your mind, as well as Tsunade's. That is how I know you." Both of my hands were behind my back but free for me to do the symbols for my own secret technique: Song of the Siren. "Now Yamato, come here and I will tell you a secret you'll never forget." He seemed a bit cautious, but approached anyways. Just when he was close enough, I kissed him quickly on his cheek.
"Wha--? What was that?!?!" Yamato stumbled back, startled and unnerved.
"My secret. Now be a gentleman and let me loose from these trees, please?" I batted my eyes for dramatic effect. My jutsu was working, because instantly, Yamato's face flushed to a bright crimson and he got a dreamy look in his eyes.
"Okay, sweetie." He did the signs to release the jutsu.
"Now go back home, and sleep for about an hour." Nodding, he did as I asked.
"WHAT?!?! Yamato! Get back here!!!" I laughed at the unfortunate Hokage.
"Too bad he can't hear you. My special jutsu puts him under my command, and once he sleeps for an hour, it will be broken. But by then it will be too late."
"Then why have him go home and sleep?"
"He'll be more comfortable." My hands flew through the signs for my final jutsu. "Summoning: Doragon no Deddo!" (Summoning: Dragon of Death!) Black smoke filled the area, and a huge grey, red and black dragon appeared.
"Who has awakened me from my slumber?!?! WAS IT YOU, TSUNADE?!?!" She shook and trembled at his voice.
"No, even I would not be so cruel as to summon you, Harem. It was Keilala over there." She pointed to me. Harem looked over at me, then bowed low to the ground.
"Goddess… I am honored to serve you. What do you wish of me?" I smirked as Tsunade's jaw dropped.
"Kill Tsunade."
"Of course." Harem turned to the targeted Hokage, and aimed a blast that not even the strongest immortal could with stand.
XxXxXxXx
Madara paced back and fourth. Keilala should have been back by now! Was Tsunade really that much of a handful? Well, at least they had Naruto. Deidara entered, and saw him as he always would see the Uchiha. As Tobi.
"Tobi, un, what's wrong un?"
"Tobi is worried about Keilala-sama. Tobi thinks she should have been back by now." Deidara was about to comfort him when the door to the hideout opened and a cheery female voice cleared the gloom.
"Hey everyone! I'm back!" Keilala strode into the living room, smiling and triumphant. Madara had to keep his emotions in check, and opted to just glomp his love, rather that kiss her and screw her sensless. Deidara hugged her, as did Mandy, Brandi, Choco, Coltonio, and Hidan. Everyone else came in and nearly died laughing at the sight.
"Wow, Keilala-sama… you sure have a lot of adoring followers." Kisame grinned and fell over in a hysterical fit of laughter.
"Awww… were you all worried sick about me?" Everyone hugging her nodded their heads violently, Madara wanted to pry every single one of the others off of her and lock her in a bed room with him for a few days. Keilala only laughed at them all and returned the hugs. "Well, I have some good news… Some very shocking good news…"
XxXxXxXx
I looked about at the shocked faces, having related the story of my fight against Tsunade.
"Do you not believe me?" A wide grin cracked my face.
"I for one, do believe you." Brandi nodded. "I mean, you come up with some crazy shit, but that is too crazy, even for you." Mandy, Choco, and Coltonio all agreed. Then Tobi grabbed my arm.
"Tobi want's to ask Keilala-sama something?"
"Yes Tobi?"
"Does Keilala know any of the religions of our world?" I shook my head.
"I have only heard of one, and that is because of our resident Jashinist. But that is it." Tobi seemed concerned, but dropped it. Good, I would show Madara the mark I had on my left ass cheek later, as I had no time for games now. "Any more questions? Yes, Kakuzu?"
"If you are a Goddess… dosen't that mean that you have a horde of gold stashed somewhere?"
"Not technically. If I had been raised here, maybe. But I wasn't, so no." He nodded and seemed disappointed. "No one else? Good, I'm going to bed now." I rose from the table and walked back to my room, where I unceremoniously flung my cloak over my chair and threw myself into bed. A large, warm mass joined me, and I smiled at Madara's presence. "Yes, Madara-koi?"
"All gods and goddesses have a marking somewhere… if what you said is true, show me your mark." I smirked.
"Knowing you, I knew that you would ask, and I'm glad no one asked to see it at the table."
"Why?"
"It's on my left ass cheek." Madara blushed a bit.
"Well, let's see it!" I sighed and pulled down my pants and panties, exposing my ass and the mark in question to him.
"Holy shit… you really are…" Then Madara smacked my ass without warning. I yelped at the gesture, and pulled up the protective material of my clothing. "Mmmm… that has got to be the cutest sound I have ever heard… Lemmie hear it again."
"Madara, you perv." I grinned at him as he smacked my ass again, and clamped my lips shut.
"Not in a cooperative mood today, are we?" Madara flipped me and I was so sure that he was going to fuck me then and there, but Coltonio interrupted again.
"Hey! Keilala, tell Kisame to stop scaring Brandi. She's practically shitting her pants." I sat up and Madara stayed hidden.
"Fine, but after this, no more disrupting my sleep!" The pudgy little boy nodded and sheepishly backed away from my room. Standing, I went out into the living room to find that Deidara had Kisame in a choke hold.
"NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN YOU UGLY FISH, UN!!!! OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, UN!!!!" Smirking, I patted Brandi's back.
"Looks like Deidara has taken a shine to you, girl." Kisame and Deidara looked up and saw me, and the ensuing chaos was enough to make the looney toons look like a yawn-fest.
Me:OMG!!! Holy shit, I'm a Goddess!!!! Wait… I know that already! Mah smexy boy-toy tells me that all of the time!!!
Choco: No, you're just full of yourself.
Me: Shutup nora-inu!!! (Shutup stray dog!!!)
Choco: Well, it's not my fault, you always think you're all that, and you no-
Me: Please, ignore the smutty mutt for once.
Brandi: This coming from the Dragon Lady… Oh well, at least Deidara likes me.
Deidara: No, girl, I love you, un!! *Kisses Brandi*
Me: Awwwww……
Mandy: Man… I need more text time!!!
Me: Don worry. I got you covered.
Coltonio: Mommy?
Me: *Sweat drop and pulsing vein* WAT?!?!
Colt: Can I have a cookie?
Me: NO!!! *$&^#*(#&^&*#^**# LMAFOROFLMFAO!!!!!
Colt: O.O'
Choco: O.O'
Brandi: O.O'
Mandy: -.-'
Deidara: O.O'
Me: ……………… . Sry peeps. Srysly though, Colt, I'm not your mum.
Colt: -.-' I know… and I'm very glad….
Mandy: -.-' …. Wow… she's worse here than on the bus.
Choco: OxO I know…
Brandi: 0.0 Srysly?!?!
Choco and Mandy: Srysly.
Me: Read. Rate. Review. Repeat. That's the 4 Rs of the Akatsuki Z!!! I hope u enjoyed the story thus far, and Please forget all about this bolded part when u go 2 do R #3!!!!
So, what are all of your favorite letters?................................ Mine is the squiggly…… ~~~~~~~~……………….. lol…. DON PRESS THE RED BUTTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!