Hi how are you?

I had just watched the first episode of the crossover between Chicago Fire and Chicago P.D. and it was awesome.

Today I want to say thanks so much to Camila for her amazing idea to she suggested me in my fic "how to save a life" however, as I told you, I thought that it would be better for his chapter. Besides, thanks to Justicerocks for saying me how I can add my fic in the community "Dawsey Community".

In this chapter I added in the middle of it I added some part of the song "Let her go" of the Passengers they are in italic and in bold. This was the song that I was hearing while the ideas for this fic came to my mind, and that it's why I called it "Let her go". It is the first time that I do it so I don't know how I do it; some please give me your opinion.

This chapter includes a lot of drama between Gabby and Matt.

Thanks to:

-MacTrucks: thanks for the Follower

-Guest: Thanks for your review. When I read it some ideas come to my mind. Thanks

-newmoonfan11111: thanks for the follower and Favourite.

-quack-quack21: thanks for the follower and for the review and for your review. I am just going to say you that if you want to slap her because of what happen in the last chapter I don't want to image what you could do to her after that chapter XD

-Justicerocks: Matt is a good guy who is able to do the right thing even though if he does not want. He showed it when he does not let that Gabby kissed him in the Christmas party. He was right she was special to him and he wanted to do it right.

-jscat2: Thanks for your review, And don't worry you will understand in this chapter why she do it.

-Guest: Yeah! He will find in this chapter not only that truth

-M. Louise E : I am glad that you like the final sentence. I used to watch "Case closed" and I have to say that Conan's or Shinishi's sentences are really good and sometimes his sentences make me reflect. I hope that you like this chapter.

-af1011: Thanks for offering to be my beta and send you a PM.

-goldistic: At least his family is there for him, giving him some advice. I hope that you like this chapter.

I am not sure when I will have the next chapter of this fic or of my other fic "How to save a life". In three weeks I have a test, some days after I have another one, and finally at the beginning of June I have the presentation of my dissertation. So, in other words, I need to study. Maybe, I write a little bit during the night before I go to bed, but I don't want to say a date. Sorry.

I hope that you like this new chapter.

Have a good Week.

Namine Redfield

Chapter 11: Only know you love her when you let her go.

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
Because you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

One of the nice things about the summer is that the night is shorter than the day, so you could say that the day starts early. You never have the feeling of wasting time, on the contrary, you feel like if you miss the day. The only downside is that the problems also come soon. And that day would not be an exception for anybody.

On that day everyone had some problem to solve: they had to open their eyes after a too long night without sleep, win a battle against oneself that became eternal, clarify against what they are fighting, recover the person who you love or look at the love of our life pretending that everything is fine despite having a broken heart.

Matt was felt strange when he woke up and he was not surrounded by wires or beside his mother who was always holding his hand lovingly. In that little room he was alone. Very lonely.

The illusion of being back with his family, he suddenly move to the anguish of having to make a decision that although not seem, it would mark his life for the rest of it. And when it seemed that everything had gone well again because he found the solution to his problem, again down. Gabby kissed him. His life was like a roller coaster whose tracks were endless.

At some point of the night he woke up startled, he had had another nightmare. He used to have them when one of the firefighter were injured or after a really bad call in which they couldn't save all the victims. However, in this case, his dream was about his family; he dreamed that they given him their back again because of his baby. During the rest of the night, he could not come back to sleep so he was just laid in the bed waiting to the sunrise.

Tired from lack of sleep, he sat in his bed and checked his cell hopping than Gabby had answered at least to one of the text that he sent her last night. He didn't have any message or missed call. He decided to text Hallie and asks her if they could meet in the morning in a cafeteria and have breakfast together. He needed to know the truth before he decided what he should do.

He put his cell in the nightstand and looked his wheelchair. Never in his life, he thought that could be so difficult to get up from his bed. It's always seemed to be so easy. Carefully, he tried to move, but his body was too sore and he was breathing hard. He took some deep breath and tried it again. He had to prove to himself that he could do it. With a great effort he could finally sit in his wheelchair. Smiling he started to move around the room to find where his cloths was. His cell started to buzz in the nightstand; he took it and saw that Hallie was calling him.

"Hi" he said

"Hi baby, how are you?" she asked from the other side of the line

"fine" he lied "Did you get my message?"

"Yeah. I have just finished my shift. What do you think if we meet in front of "Tree café" in thirty minutes, I know that you love that place" she said excited because of their meeting.

"Good"

"Do you need that I pick up you?" she said knowing that he couldn't drive and maybe his sister were working

"That would be great. I am in this moment in my sister's house. Do you remember the address?"

"Yes. I will be there en twenty minutes"

"See you soon"

"And Matt" she said before he hung up "I love you"

"I love you too" he said after a few seconds of thinking what he should answer.

After he hung up, his sister entered in the room with a cup of hot chocolate in her hand, she gave it to him who looked her confused.

"Hot chocolate used to help Violet when she can't sleep" she said sitting in the bed in front of him "I heard you moved a lot last night and I supposed that you didn't sleep very well"

"Thanks" he took a small sip grateful for the gesture of his sister

"I am sorry for what I said last night. You were right I can't speak about her like that"

"I am sorry for yelling you"

"Matt seriously, do you believe her?"

"I don't know what to believe. She would never lie to me about something that she knows that it's so important for me. I am going to have breakfast with her she is on her way to come here"

"Gabby is outside" Matt looked her surprised "She want to cure your burns"

"had she said something about yesterday?"

"but she looks really hurtful. You should talk with her" she opened the door.

"Hi Casey" she said entering. Her eyes were red and irritated; she had spent the whole night crying in the shoulder of her best friend. Shay told her that she didn't have to go to cure his burns, she will do it instead of her. However, Gabby insisted that she had to do it.

"Hi Gabby"

"Take off your shirt and lie down in bed"

Christine helped him to take off his shirt and lie down again in his bed. Gabby left his bag on the bed and took out a cream, a pairs of gloves, some bandages and gauzes. She put on the gloves and started to take off the old bandage. His sister left the room so they could talk calmly.

"Have you received any of my messages?" He asked broken the deep silence

"Yeah" she said "and I deleted them as soon as I received them. Well, in reality it was Shay who did it, and I am glad that she did it" she put some cream in his shoulder. A small cry of pain escaped from his lips. After heard part of his conversation with his sister she want to run away of the house. She could see her to the eyes after all the pain that she had caused to her. Thus, she was trying to cure his injures as fast as she could so she could leave before Hallie arrive to pick up him.

"I am sorry" he looked her; she was concentrated in what she was doing "Hallie is pregnant and…" she deserved to know the true about why he said yesterday that it was a mistake that they kissed.

"I don't mind. It's your business, Casey. Not mine" she was lying. It was hard for her that he had rejected her a second time, but it was even harder to know that it was because of Hallie. She was there for him each time that they have a discussion, helping him to recover his broken heart telling him that in a couple of days everything will be fine between them, even though it meant that she could never be with him. But she did it because she loves him and she loved his smile when he is happy.

Casey, if they weren't at work she used to call him Matt and not Casey. If she used his last name, that mean that she was really upset and angry with him; the same thing happen after their last discussion a couple of week ago. She called him all the time Casey.

"Gabby I really sorry"

"I finish" she said coldly

"I am going to…"

"Stop right there. You don't understand that I don't mind what the fuck it's going on between you and her" her eyes were filling with tears again.

"Gabby please"

"No Casey" she yelled "You make me feel sick" She said angry looked him "I hope that you and Hallie have a great life together with your baby" Tears started to fell down her checks. She didn't want that he saw her crying. She showed too many feelings like to also show weakness in front of him "See you in a few days" she took off her gloves and left the room without waiting that he say anything.

Matt rested his head in the pillow. He had lost his best friend forever. His mobile buzzed again in the nightstand. This time it was a text message from Hallie "I'm waiting you outside. Hallie XOXO".

"She is outside, Gabby saw her. I think that they spoke" Christine said "Do you want that I help you to get dress?" he nodded and she helped him "Matt, do you know that I love you right?" he nodded again "All that I want is that you be safe and happy. If Hallie made you happy I will be right with it because you are my brother but just because of that. Not because I like her. I don't know what happened between you and Gabby, but yesterday, you broke her heart. You shouldn't have play with her feeling. She love you"

"It's not my fault, you are not going to do me feel guilty" he said angry "Thanks for your help" he sat in the wheelchair and left the room.

Hallie was waiting him in the porch "Hi Matt" Hallie kissed him in his lips "You look great" she rubbed his shoulder

"Thanks" he said smiling

"Do you want help with the wheelchair?" She helped him with the wheelchair and sat in her car.

The journey in car lasted about ten minutes, in which they didn't say any word. Matt didn't know what to say. He could not erase from his mind the image of Gabby crying in front of him and all that he wanted to do was to cuddle her and never let her go of his arms, but it was too late. He had lost her.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low.

/

Hallie sipped her coffee and said "What are you thinking, honey?"

"I don't remember the last time that you call my honey, baby or sweetheart"

"it has been a long time" she smiled him "I have being thinking and if you want, we can marriage next Sunday"

"Hallie I don't know. I think that I am not ready to marry you"

"what?" she said annoying "We are having a baby Matt" she touch her belly "both of us want the same thing in our future, so why wait?" he didn't respond he still have in his mind the image of Gabby crying "You don't remember what you say me four months ago?"

Flashback

"I can't wear it If I am not engage to you" she put her engage ring in the table in front of him "Am I?"

"Did you say that I have moved?" he said avoiding to answered her question

"No. you?"

"no"

"So what are we doing?" she asked confused

"I will marry you tomorrow if I know that we want the same things" he said determinate

"I am a resident Matt I can't start a family right now" she said angry of having to explain it again to him why they can't start a family in that moment

End of the flashback

"I know" he held her hands "I am going to be there for the baby and for you but I can't right now marriage with you. I am still recovering from my injuries"

"Ok" she rubbed his check and kissed him in his lips. It was just a simple kiss without passion or love. He broke the kiss and looked her.

"Do you have any appointment with your doctor yet?"

"Yeah, some days ago with my OBGYN" she said rolling her eyes

"Does she has done to you a ultrasound?" he asked excited of see it

"Yeah" she said after a few seconds of silence playing with her hear. She used to do it when she was nervous.

"Can I see it?"

"Sorry, it's in my house" she said a little nervous "Anyway, you are not going to understand nothing of it, it's difficult even for me" she laughed

"I know but, I want to meet our baby. Can we go to your house when we finish?" He took a small bite of his toast and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Yeah why not" she smiled trying to dissimulate her nervousness "oh, sorry I forget it, it's in my parents' house"

"It's doesn't matter" he said disappointed "When do you have the next appointment? I would love to go and be with you. When can we know the sex?" he never fell more excited in all his life. "When he or she will born?"

"That's enough!" she said angry. Matt looked her confused and hurt by her reaction "Matt, please I have a terrible headache and my hormones are driving me crazy. Sorry" she rubbed his check

"Hallie, I don't want lies, I want the truth" he held her hands and said "Are you really pregnant?"

"Matt, the truth is that I can't life without you" he noticed that she didn't answer his question

"You are not pregnant" he said shocked "Are you?" he touched her belly by the first time since she told him that she was pregnant. He couldn't felt anything because there wasn't anything.

"Matt it's not what you are thinking" she said trying to relax him rubbing his back

"Why do you lie to me?" he could not believe it. His sister and mother were right; she had lied about her pregnancy. He looked at his stomach felling really angry; where it should have be a small belly in which interior should be growing a small human, there was nothing except of lies. All their hopes were dashed as fast as a house of cards is takes by the wind. "You know who important it's for me to have a family with you"

"I know and I am ready to start it now. If you want, we can start right now. The past is the past. I am ready."

"Me too. I am also ready to start a family " she smiled "but not with you" he added "You are right. Past is past, but is our past. And I can't start fresher with you like if nothing happened between us after that big lie like this" he took his wallet and took a bill for paying the breakfast "Just one more thing, what were you thinking to tell me when the time passes and I do not notice your belly or insist on going to your doctor appointments?" she rolled her eyes and didn't say anything "I understand it now, you wanted that we marry next week, some weeks later you will have said me that you lost our baby" he said putting all the pieces together in his mind "How can you be able to play with someone's feelings like that?" he understood in that moment how Gabby felt last night when he rejected her "I have faced the whole world because of you, because I thought that you never in all your life will do to me something like that. I see I was wrong. In the eight years that we've been together I have never meant something for you and you never showed me how you were until today. You disgust me"

"Matt, please forgive me. I am sorry" she said crying

"I don't want to see you again in all my life" He began to push his wheelchair out of the cafeteria; he could feel the tears streaming down his face. She lied to him

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

/

Gabby was sitting near to Shay in the couch. She was crying in her shoulder while her friend was rubbing her back making small circle trying to relax her.

"I lose him" Gabby said "I know that he was taken, but after he and she broke and his accident, I thought that maybe I could maybe have a change"

"I am so sorry honey" Shay didn't know what to say. It wasn't the first time that she had to comfort her friend because Matt broke her heart.

"the worst part of all of this is that Hallie is pregnant"

"What?" Kelly said surprised. He had just come back to the house after he went out to run and only heard the last part of their conversation.

"Matt and she are going to get marry next week. She told me this morning when I went to cured his burn"

"Sweetheart, we told you that you should not go" After dinner in his sister house and she kissed him, and rejected him again, Gabby felt so broken and went to Severide and Shay house. As soon as Shay opened the door she hugged her and started to cry heartbrokenly. She told them everything that happened. It took more than an hour for her stop of crying. Shay proposed her to crash in their house and in the morning they will speak about it again when she was calmer and relaxed. However, when Gabby woke up she went to his sister's house, even though Shay and Severide had advised her of not going. Shay even offered to cure Matt's burns, but Gabby insisted that she was the one who had to do it.

"Matt is an ass" Severide said. He can't understand his friend. How can he come back with Hallie after all that they passed? She destroyed some many times his dream of becoming a father. He never liked Hallie but because Matt was his friend he tried to be nice with her.

"I have to go" Gabby said risen of the couch "Thanks for everything"

"Are you sure?" Shay was still concerned about her. She had the bad feeling that something bad going to happen.

"You can stay here all the time that you need" Severide said "I do not like the idea of have to watch so many romantic movies" He joked "But you can stay"

"No seriously" She said drying her cries "I am fine. Thanks for everything"

When she left the house, she saw that the bright morning sun had disappeared and its place was occupied by some dense gray clouds ready to discharge the water that they contained. "Perfect, just what I wanted a gray afternoon as my heart"

She looked at her phone and she saw that she had a couple of missed calls and a message from Matt's sister. She preferred not to look the message or called her back; it would only bring more pain to her heart so she put in into the pocket of her pants and looking her car ready to go home.

When she parked her car in front of her house a few drops started to drop. She saw that Matt was there in the middle of the street waiting for her. He was sitting in his wheelchair with his head between his hands. He seemed to be tired and exhausted.

Gabby took a deep breath and continued walking. When Matt heard that someone was approaching to him, he looked up and smiled grateful when he saw that it was Gabby who was approaching to him.

"Hi Gabby" he pushed his wheelchair to her. He felt a sharp pain in his back and right shoulder, he shouldn't push his wheelchair from the cafeteria until her house, there was a distance of 7 maybe 8 kilometers.

"What are you doing here Casey?" she keep walking moving away from him

"I want to talk with you" he pushed his wheelchair and hold her hand "Please Gabby. Just listen to me. I sorry for what I said yesterday. I didn't mean it" The rain began to fall harder on them. Within seconds their clothes were soaked and stuck to their bodies but they didn't notice it.

"Matt, please go away from me. You don't understand how hurtful it's for me to see you every day in the firehouse knowing that you are taken and I could never been the one who can cuddle you during the night or kiss you every morning" her eyes were felling with tears "I am always the one how say you that everything will be ok between you and Hallie and the one who sit near to your bed after your surgeries holding your hands waiting that you wake up. And I can't continue like that. I met you in one hour; it took on month for me to understand that I was in love of you and it is going to be impossible for my heart to forget you. So, please stay away from me" she tried to continue walking but he was still continue holding her hand

"Gabby please I am sorry. Hallie is not pregnant she lied me. Please don't go" he pulled of her hand at the same time that she also did it.

They were closer to the road; the cars were circulating near to them. And suddenly, the time stopped.

"Yesterday, I lied to you. Our kiss wasn't a mistake" he said crying

"What?" She said not very sure if she heard properly his last sentence. Our kiss wasn't a mistake. Does that mean that he love me?

In that moment, Gabby released her hand of his, but the inertia made that she stepped back a meter. She was in the middle of the road. In the background it could be heard the sound of the car. She looked to her right side and saw a big truck approaching to her; she looked Matt completely terrified. The truck continued approaching and she couldn't move.

"GABBY" Matt yelled

A loud knock were heard and Gabby's body fallen on the road. While she was fallen she could see that Matt was trying to risen of his wheelchair. He had tears fallen down his check. As soon as her head hit the road she closed her eyes.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high
When you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

When he saw the truck approaching to her, he tried to get up from the wheelchair but he could not because he was very exhausted. He wanted to push her away from the truck even if that meant that the truck could hit him. His burns and his broken left leg ached too much to do it. His heart stopped of beating in his chest when he saw how her little body hit the cold and wet road.

Without hesitation hey jumped of his wheelchair and as soon as his body hit the ground he dragged his aching body to hers. In every movement that he did, he I could feel how his blisters were breaking while the stitches of his wounded side were opening. He couldn't feel the pain. He knew that he shouldn't do that because it would be worse for his wound, but nothing would make sense if Gabby was no longer at his side.

"Do not go ... I can not to lose you again!" He yelled crying when he was near to her motionless body "I love you Gabby" he hold her head and kissed her in her lips crying. "Please Gabby don't give up"

In one second, he finally understand all the feelings that his heart were harbored for Gabby, and like if it was a bad joke of fate, she was taken away of his side at the same second.

Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
And you let her go

What will happen in the next chapter? Will Gabby recover from the accident? Will somebody blame Matt because of her accident?

Thanks for reading

Namine Redfield