Chapter 10

When the hostess had left us at our table, Bella turned critical eyes on me.

"You really shouldn't do that to people. It's hardly fair."

I didn't understand what she meant. The tooth baring grin had been intended to frighten the hostess but she was in the back babbling to the waitress about my jacket. "Do what?" I asked.

"Dazzle them like that. She's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now.

I paused for a moment, considering the truth behind Bella's words. My moment of hesitation made her lash out at me.

"Oh come on!" She said. "You HAVE to know the effect you have on people!"

"I dazzle people?" Emmett would be laughing hysterically if he could hear our conversation now.

Her eyebrows raised and her eyes became critical. "You haven't noticed? Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?"

I blurted out the hopeful words before I could stop them The second they passed my lips I wished I could take them back.

"Do I dazzle you?" I asked.

Her answer wasn't hesitant. "Frequently." The pink flush came to her cheeks.

My silent heart began to swell, the room seemed brighter. I dazzled her.

"Hello." said an unfamiliar voice. I didn't look up to the waitress, I was too engrossed in the beautiful, perfect human in front of me. I dazzled her.

The waitress's thoughts were loud and obscene. Apparently the hostess's description of me had failed her standards and she was redefining me in her head. I ignored her, continuing my stare on Bella. The blue in her shirt was beautiful against the perfect creamy white skin. She looked like porcelain, smooth and perfect.

The waitress was facing me now, impatient about something. Bella's eyes were on me, crinkled and expecting. I was supposed to give her my drink order. I raised my eyebrows in Bella's direction as if to suggest she should go first and the waitress begrudgingly turned to her.

"I'll have a coke?" Bella said, more of a question. Like she was asking for my approval. I smiled.

"Two cokes."

I was waiting for Bella to go into shock. When it hit her, she would be thirsty and she could take my soda. The sugar would be good for her. I looked over her, examining her for any sign that the shock was coming, but I didn't find anything. She looked absolutely perfect, and so gorgeous.

"What?" She asked, uncomfortable under my scrutinizing stare.

"How are you feeling?"

She eyed me suspiciously. "I'm fine."

"You don't feel dizzy, sick, cold." I listed off the symptoms humans felt after traumatic incidents, textbook post traumatic stress. She shook her head.

"Should I?" Her voice was confused.

"Well, actually, I'm waiting for you to go into shock." I said smiling. I knew she would reject this. The independence in her would not allow me to take care of her.

She paused before she answered, her face was slightly blurry, unfocused as she pondered my question. She looked like this when I smiled at her sometimes. Was she dazzled. I smiled again at the idea.

"I don't think that will happen. I've always been good at repressing unpleasant things."

I frowned slightly. I knew the girl was a trouble magnet but why did she have so much experience with unpleasant things?

"Just the same." I said. "I'll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you."

At that moment, the waitress placed our drinks and a basket of bread on the table. It smelled strongly of garlic. I resisted the urge to crinkle my nose at the unpleasant smell. She then turned to me and asked for my order. I kept my eyes from her, irritated by her vulgar thoughts, and gestured to Bella.

Bella stuttered and glanced quickly down at the menu. "Um... I'll have the mushroom ravioli."

The waitress turned back to me, her smile returning and her voice much more eager. "And you?"

"Nothing for me." I was slightly colder than I should have been. Bella frowned at my choice not to order. I wondered if she noticed that I never ate food. She probably did, she noticed everything. Would I be forced to choke something down to fool her? A piece of bread maybe? I eyed it and was immediately repulsed by the idea, the garlic smell filling my head again.

When the waitress walked away I motioned to Bella's coke.

"Drink." I encouraged.

She took the soda and began to drink without objection, something that surprised me. She drank until the glass was empty and I pushed mine towards her. She took one more long gulp and the shuddered. My eyebrows set in a worried line.

"Are you cold?"

"It's just the coke." She said, still shuddering.

I looked back down at the pretty blue blouse I had admired and examined it. It looked as if it would not be enough to protect her from the cold.

"Don't you have a jacket?" I asked.

"Yes." She turned to the bench and looked surprised when she found it empty. "Oh- I left it in Jessica's car." She frowned.

I shrugged my jacket from my shoulders and handed it to her. I wished that my skin were warmer so that it would be warm when she pulled it over her arms. She took it and wrapped it around her, shuddering at it's lack of warmth.

I stared at her shirt again. The way it fell over her collar bones was so tantalizing, seductive. I wanted to reach out and run my finger along the place where the fabric touched her skin.

"That color blue looks lovely with your skin." I complimented her.

She flushed, turning the beautiful color that made my throat burn. My thirst reminded me that Bella needed food. I pushed the bread towards her.

"Really, I'm not going into shock." She said, but she took a piece of bread and began to chew on the end.

"You should be. A NORMAL person would be." I said, emphasizing my words. "You don't even look shaken."

She shrugged, the trust in her eyes was real. "I feel very safe with you." She said.

I didn't deserve that. I was beginning to think I would eventually have to tell her the truth. Maybe that would be the only way I could keep her away, make her fear me, like she should. I shuttered at the thought of her avoiding me.

I was leaning against my car, Bella's pillowcase folded neatly in the front seat. It was night, cold and clear. I could hear faint noises coming from the trees and the wind blew lightly in my ears. The familiar "Welcome to Washington" sign was 20 feet in front of me. I loved nights like this, where you can hear the noise of everything around you. It was easier to think, though lately I'd done everything I could to keep away from my thoughts. I didn't need to work to focus my thougts tonight though, a more substantial problem was worrying me now.

I was frozen. I'd spent the last six months avoiding this state line as if it were the gate to hell. It might have been. I was going back to Forks, but what would happen when I got there? The danger I posed to Bella's life was not over. I couldn't stay. I was going to go and destroy the pack of wolves who were killing residents of Forks and then.... leave again. That thought was painful. It might actually kill me to pry myself away from her this time.

A car was driving towards me now, its headlights reflecting off the silver metal of my car.

"Why is he parked like that with no flashers on?"

I turned to face away from the highway, staring at the wretched sign. The car stopped next to me and the passenger side window rolled down.

"You havin' car troubles, buddy?" A middle age man called from the driver's seat.

"Just getting some air." I replied courteously. He looked at me strangely for a moment but rolled his window back up and continued down the highway.

I sighed and got back in the car. My hand seemed to shake as I placed the key in the ignition. What was my plan anyway? Would I go to Bella's house first? Make sure she was okay? No. That would distract me too much. I'd destroy the animals first, then go to her, never letting her see me. What if she had been killed? Every part of my body cringed under the pain of the thought. I decided I would check the Forks High School parking lot in the morning. Scan the lot for her rusted Chevy truck.

I turned the key and the engine roared to life. Slowly, I moved my hand and put the car in drive. I had never been so nervous, afraid. The fear of the future, of not knowing what my actions would be in the next 24 hours, was terrifying. It was even more dangerous for Bella to be around me like this. Just seeing her would make it impossible for me to leave, and no wolf was as dangerous to her as my presence in Forks.

I took a deep breath and hit the accelerator, gunning to eighty miles an hour as I crossed the state line. It was a very short drive. My mind was occupied and I hardly noticed time passing at all. When I reached Forks it was still dark out, only three in the morning. Bella would not be at school yet, she was still asleep. Would it be okay for me to go to her window? I turned down her familiar street, slowly approaching Charlie's house. Bella's truck sat lifeless in the driveway. There were no lights on.

When I was able to see her window, I stopped and stared. Several minutes passed and I didn't move. What was I waiting for? She wouldn't come to the window. I tore my eyes from the house and continued down the street, my eyes glued to the rear view mirror.

I turned back onto the highway and made the familiar turn down the hidden road that led to my house, tucked away three miles into the forest. When I pulled up in front of the dark white house, I almost turned around.

The landscaping was overgrown. All traces of Esme's perfectly planned yard had vanished. I stopped and walked through the tall grass and up the stairs, which weeds had begun to consume. When I opened the front door, I could smell the dust. I took a few steps on the hard wood and they seemed to echo through the empty halls. This place seemed so much bigger without my family. It was dead, eerie, I was very uncomfortable.

I thought of turning some lights on but thought better of it when I remembered I was supposed to be in Southern California. Perhaps some hunter would see the faint glow in the Cullen house windows and my cover would be blown.

As I examined the now foreign room, my eyes fell upon the one thing that looked exactly as it had been left. My piano, black and gleaming. I opened the cover and stared down at the keys, wondering if I could pass the time more quickly with music. But as I moved to sit down on the bench, the funeral march rushed through my head and I slammed the cover closed. It seemed I would never be able to play again. I thought about what a shame that was, I really enjoyed the piano.

I moved to the stairs and found myself at Alice's room. I rested my hand on the wooden door and it opened. The dark was unusual, the moon was hidden behind the solid gray clouds and no light shone into the room, though I saw everything perfectly. Her bed was made and her desk was tidy. I scanned the books that sat on the shelf and the calender that hung on the far wall. There was a pink circle around one of the dates and a notation to go with it.

September 13th. Bella's Birthday.

I wanted to rip the cursed reminder from the wall but I couldn't disturb anything in Alice's room. It felt like a museum, a tribute dedicated to the happy life she'd spent here. Why did she even have that dark day circled? It wasn't as if she needed a reminder that Bella's birthday was coming. She'd been planning that horrible party for weeks. I left the room, closing the door sharply behind me.

I was trying to prolong getting to my room. My mind hoped that the scent of Bella would still linger though shirt that had filled the room with her had been removed half a year ago. I stopped at Esme's office and decided to look through the neat piles on her desk.

There was paperwork and receipts from a lumber company dated back to August of last year. I pulled them aside and saw plans for a gazebo. Esme had been planning to build it by the river, a place for her and Carlisle to have to themselves. I moved the papers back, ashamed once again of my decision that seemed to have ruined the lives of every one I cared about. The decision that had saved the life of the one I loved.

I left the room and finally climbed the stairs to my own. I opened the door and inhaled deeply. The scent was there, but it was faint, almost nonexistent. I moved to the black leather couch and stared at the room that had once been mine. I hated it now. Everything there screamed that there had been a time that I was happy. A time that didn't press this giant weight of misery on me every minute of every day. A time when I could play soft music and twirl Bella around on the gold carpet, catching her and holding her close to my chest each time she stumbled.

I growled and laid my head over the back of the couch, keeping my eyes tightly closed. I didn't think of anything for the rest of the night.

When the sun rose, I moved slowly. It was still too early for Bella to be at school. I smiled at how much this felt like it used to. Waiting for the clock to read at least seven before Alice and I jumped into my Volvo and steered our way to school, always arriving too early.

It wouldn't be like that today. This would be the first time Bella arrived anywhere before I did and didn't know if it would make me feel better or worse when I saw that she had arrived at school. If I didn't see her there, it would be the worse pain I'd ever felt, but at least there would be an end. All of the pain that I'd felt over the last six months would end. I would end.

When the clock on the oven finally turned to seven forty five, I left. Classes had started and if Bella was going to be at school, she would be there by now. I ran at top speed as I wove through the familiar trees towards the high school. Though it was short, it was exhilarating. I hadn't run like that in a long time.

I stopped at the edge of the trees that surrounded Forks High School and began to walk slowly towards the place where the parking lot would come into view. If my heart were able to beat, it's rhythm would be furious. My nerves were about ready to snap as I looked to see if my reason for being was alive or dead.

Her truck stood out from the others that surrounded it. It was tall and massive compared to the typical four door sedan's most teenagers drove. She had parked on the completely opposite side of the lot from where she used to. I scowled as I recognized Mike Newton's car next to hers.

Bella was safe, a first for her. Now I could focus on what I was really here to do. I sped away from the trees back towards my house. I located the maps of the area in Carlisle's office and began to set up a grid of Forks and the surrounding wilderness. I would start close to town, working my way to the Quileute border and then hug the outside of town. If I found nothing I would move one mile out and repeat the pattern until I found the beasts.

I jumped from the porch and followed the river to the first section of my grid. It would take me on the outskirts of town. I was running along the forest line, able to see the last of the buildings from Forks. I smelled nothing. After hours of combing the south side of town and it's side of the woods, I moved to the north.

I came to the section of forest that ran along the back side of Bella's house. My senses stopped as I once again looked to her window. I glanced down at my watch. Two O'Clock. Bella wouldn't be home for another hour. I convinced myself I could afford just one small look around her room.

I climbed the side of the house, combing the street for the thoughts of her neighbors. There were none. The window was closed and groaned as I opened it. If I came back, I'd need more oil. I shook that thought from my head. I couldn't come back.
Her scent was strong in the room, stronger than the the pillowcase, and my head immediately began to swim into my fantasies. I fought them back, seeing this room, remembering those nights I'd spent here would be better than any of the dreams so far.

Her bed wasn't made, the blankets were tossed and tangled from her restless sleep the night before. I eyed the purple pillowcase that Emmett had replaced the month before. It was slightly different, but not enough to catch the eye. I doubted that even if Bella had been looking for the change, she wouldn't have noticed it.

I picked up a shirt that lay on the floor and moved to place it in her hamper, but then remembered that Bella might notice if I disturbed her room. I set it back in place. Her desk was covered in books and papers. I moved to look at the folded paper that sat in front of the chair. It was a map, a grid, similar to the one I'd drawn on Carlisle's, covered the familiar terrain. There were notations on the side of the paper in an unfamiliar messy script that suggested it had been written by a male. So Bella did have someone new.

I followed the sections that had been crossed off and my eyes fell upon a circled location towards the end of the map. Our meadow. She'd taken this new boy to our meadow. Not only had she found someone new, she'd completely moved on from me. Moved on enough that the place we'd held so close to our hearts was now a place she willingly shared with someone else. I felt a pain rush through me. When it passed the jealously that roared in me fueled my curiosity. I needed to know who my replacement was. Then I could decide whether he was worthy of her or not, though I doubted I would find anyone of the local teenage boys suitable for my angel.

It was strange, searching her room the way I was, it felt wrong to invade her privacy this way. But I was too blinded by jealousy to realize just how much I'd crossed the line. I went through the trash by her desk, hoping to find a note from him. All I found were old school assignments and grocery lists that were all in Bella's handwriting. I checked her drawers and closets for any of his clothes that she might have borrowed. If I got his scent, I could scour the town until I found him It wouldn't take long. There were none.

She had no special dates on her calendar, no names scribbled absentmindedly on scrap pieces of paper, I couldn't even find a picture of the two of them on her bulletin board. I found the scrapbook she'd gotten for her last birthday tucked away on a shelf and flipped through it hoping to find him there. It had not changed from when I left it last fall. My name was still scribbled below the empty place that had once held my picture.

I descended down into the house, checking the pad of paper by the phone for any messages Charlie had taken from him. I checked the dishwasher, hoping the plates would count out to meals of three instead of two. I breathed in the scents of the house, hoping to find something unfamiliar. Nothing. Everything in the house pointed to the resounding fact that Charlie and Bella lived here and that no one else disturbed them.

I decided to go up to her room and look again, hoping I'd missed something when I heard it. Her truck was pulling into the driveway. I froze and dropped the book that held the list of phone numbers Bella and Charlie wrote down. I sprinted up the stairs and darted into Charlie's room, closing the door at the same time Bella walked in.

She was in a hurry, her footsteps quick as she stumbled through the kitchen. I heard her pour a glass of water and gulp it down. Then she started up the stairs and entered her room. My mind began to race through my memory of looking through her things. Had I moved anything so that she could have noticed? I didn't think so, but the nerves were still palpable.

She rustled around slightly, moving things from her bag and putting them away. I thought perhaps she was changing at one point as something soft hit the floor and she pulled open a dresser drawer. The urge to run to her was so strong I almost left finger marks in the wall as I gripped it to keep me in my place.

Finally she picked up her keys again and flitted from the room, tripping over the bottom stair, her footsteps loud as she thudded into the wall.

"Crap." She hissed aloud. The first time I'd heard her voice since I'd left Forks with Alice. I heard a pen scribbling over the pad next to the phone and then she pulled open the door and let it swing closed behind her. When I heard her truck pull out of the driveway and begin moving up the street, I flew down the stairs to retrieve the message she'd left for Charlie.

Going to La Push to see Jacob. Billy has invited us both to Dinner, but if you don't feel like the drive there are leftovers in the fridge. See you tonight!

Bella

It didn't help at all. Jacob was just the young Quileute who Bella had been friends with for longer than she'd known me. I threw the pad down and moved back up to her room. After searching another ten minutes through the things I'd already looked at, I gave up. I crawled out the window and moved across the lawn.

I was considering scanning the thoughts of people around town, hoping to find an image of Bella with her new... "boyfriend". I cringed but was immediately distracted from the image of Bella in the arms of someone else. The scent hit me like walking into a wall and it was only yards away from Bella's house.

It was familiar though it took me a moment to place it with the source. It wasn't wolf, though it was close. My mind flitted back through the memory of Carlisle, signing the treaty with Ephraim Black. The scent that surrounded Bella's house, was werewolf. I scowled. Only SHE would have luck bad enough to revive the dead wolf gene buried in the Quileutes. Was Bella's luck enough to limit the number of dangerous mythical creatures to only vampires and werewolves? Or would I be fighting ogres next year?

Wait, the Quileutes! My mind raced back to the note in Charlie's kitchen.

Going to La Push to see Jacob..

I sprinted after her, hoping I'd reach her before she crossed that damn line. I used my fear to push me forward, taking as much purchase from the ground as I could get. When I got to the line, I could hear her truck roaring around the curve towards the beach. I looked down at the invisible boarder to the Quileute reservation. Should I cross it? I didn't know that Bella was in immediate danger, but I knew she wasn't safe. I stalked the line, pacing back and forth, listening as hard as I could into the trees.

The minutes passed quickly as I wondered if Bella was going to come out of the reservation alive. I was straining, hoping I would pick up any thoughts of her, any mental picture. An hour later when I finally heard a sound, it made me more anxious than the silence. Snarls erupted from the trees, there was a fight. Several other growls now joined the two wolves who were fighting as they moved closer to me.

I was ready, tensed to attack. I would grab Bella the second I saw her and run with her as far away from Forks as I could manage before she needed me to stop. The plural thoughts of the pack were close enough for me to hear now, and I read their moods. They were worried about the two wolves fighting. Images of Bella flashed through their minds and I tensed again. What had happened?

"She can't know the secret. We must destroy her!"

"No, Paul. Bella is no danger to us."

"Of course she's a danger. She knows! You can't let your feelings disrupt your judgment!" the first wolf, Paul growled.

"I wont let you touch her."

I couldn't make out who the second wolf was. No one thought his name, though he seemed to have a bond with Bella. He was protecting her. Could it be... Jacob? I thought of the small, 16 year old. He couldn't stand a chance against the giant wolves that made up the Quileute pack. I tried to count the thoughts, to know the number he was up against so I might guess his chances. I couldn't come up with a number, the packs thoughts were in unison. In wolf form, they ceased to exist as individuals.

They were getting closer and I shot up into a tree, watching intently. I needed surprise on my side. When they came into view, I saw a large gray wolf backing away from the even larger rust colored wolf that was barring it's teeth and growling loudly. Though the gray wolf showed no fear of the other, he did not attack him. A deep, double voice that was the signature of the Alpha wolf boomed through their thoughts.

"Paul back down." The gray wolf was forced back onto his haunches. "Jacob, stop."

I watched the giant red wolf, relax his growl and stop his advance. Jacob. The red wolf turned from the confrontation and darted back into the trees, racing towards the heart of the reservation. One by one the others followed and the plural thoughts of the pack became less substantial, until they disappeared completely.

I jumped from the branch and landed on the edge of the line. Not only was Bella now on the land where the werewolves lived, where I couldn't go... She was friends with one of them. I pictured the wolf's face, his barred teeth. His snarls had ripped at his fellow pack member, ready for the kill should Paul have challenged him. He had been protecting Bella. I began to run up and down the line, waiting for Bella to come back across.

More hours past and I saw Charlie's cruiser cross the line. She would be here for hours. I had to leave the line. The pacing was making me anxious, allowing me to think to much. I'd almost crossed the line and gone to get Bella myself three different times. Only picturing Carlisle's face when he discovered that I broke his treaty stopped me.

I ran back towards town, running through the trees until I came to my house. I didn't go inside, I was too restless to deal with the pain of my empty home. I stalked around the perimeter of the lawn, willing my mind away from the thought of Bella around the wolves. I took deep breaths that were supposed to be calming, but when I picked up a new scent, I tensed again.

It was faint. Very old, probably weeks, maybe a month or two. I followed it up to the house to the windows and doors. It was vampire, Laurent. I growled. The scent did not enter the house but it did form a circle all the way around it. He was only here to see if we were. He'd found us gone.

I forced my senses to find the trail that he'd taken after he'd left. Somewhere Laurent was alive with the knowledge that I was not with Bella. I pictured his eyes, ruby red, and knew I needed to find him. When he saw me, he would know that I had found his scent. That Bella wasn't abandoned.

I followed it into the woods, making large curving pattens until, eventually, I was in our meadow. I swallowed hard as I remembered the map on Bella's desk, this exact location circled. She would come here again. The scent was strong here. He'd been here for awhile, I moved further into the clearing and registered Bella's scent. He knew she was here, was he waiting for her. Suddenly, another scent registered. A foul scent that was harsh and woodsy. Dirty. The werewolves.

Though I knew Bella was still alive, still alright, it made me nervous to know that she'd been in the meadow with them. I needed to find away to get her out of here. As soon as I took care of Laurent I was going to save her. I would go to her window and beg her to come away with me. She would deny me of course, I'd hurt her too much for her to trust me now. If I couldn't convince her, I'd take her anyway. Maybe I'd take her to New Hampshire, my family would like me holding Bella against her will, but they would take care of her.

My mind thought of scanning the meadow for the scent of her new boyfriend. I'd kill him before I took her. No, I moved that thought out of my mind. I had no time for distractions from Laurent, he could be looking for Bella now. Suddenly, I felt an odd sense of relief knowing she was protected by a pack of Vampire hating werewolves Ha! Safe with werewolves, how ironic was that?

I turned and followed the scent of the wolves again. They'd passed through, seemingly to follow Laurent's scent from the meadow. Excitement rushed through me as I followed them. Deeper and Deeper into the woods. I wondered how far the would have gone after him when the scent stopped. I looked around at the charred bark on the tree, ashes. They'd caught up to him, killed him. Relief began to wash over me as I realized that Bella was in no danger from Laurent. I would be able to take her from Forks sooner, tonight.

The relief I felt was quickly replaced by a fresh wave of panic as another scent drifted over me. There was a foot print in the soft ground, small, feminine. She had bent over the ashes and examined the trees where the flames licked at the bark.

I recognized the scent immediately. It was Victoria.

***Well guys this is it for a few weeks. I hope you enjoy it enough to hold you over. I will have brief smatterings of internet, just enough to check my email and facebook : ). Keep your reviews coming so I'm motivated to continue when I'm back at school! Thanks!