When Patroclus awoke the next morning, he heard hushed voices coming from his cousin's room. Deciding to investigate, he got up and softly padded to the door of Achilles' room, and as he inched closer, Patroclus realized that Achilles was talking with his mother.
"...But I was amazed that I survived; while I was laying there and feeling my life-force fading, I thought back to your warning about me dying in Troy. I was prepared to die, but now I am relieved that I didn't, for my experience has had severe repercussions on Patroclus."
Patroclus suddenly felt rage consume him. Flinging the door open, he barged into the room, much to both occupants' surprise - especially upon seeing the rage coloring Patroclus' face.
"Patroclus -" a concerned Thetis began to greet in a motherly and tender voice, but the boy cut the goddess off and whipped around to face Achilles.
"How could you?!" he screamed at Achilles, tears filling his eyes spilling down his face. Achilles moved to take the boy into his arms, but Patroclus was having none of it. He struggled violently in his cousin's grip.
"Patroclus, I -" Achilles started, only to have the teen wrench himself from the older man's grip.
"No!" Patroclus screamed, backing away from Achilles. "I hate you!" And with that, Patroclus turned and fled from the house.
When Achilles finally located his cousin, after almost an hour of frantic searching, he found the boy leaning against a very tall rock by the sea, still sobbing as though his heart would break.
Achilles' own heart broke at the sight of his cub in such distress. He slowly and quietly knelt down in front of Patroclus and gently pried his hands away from his face, holding them tightly.
"Patroclus, please... look at me," he pleaded desperately. He already had a nagging suspicion of what was troubling his cousin, and the familiar shame and remorse crushed him. "Patroclus," he tried again, "listen to me, at least."
His cousin's head shot up, and the sheer amount of pain, rage, and sadness in those once-innocent blue eyes made Achilles want to weep as well, but he choked down his own feelings that threatened to overwhelm him, determined to maintain his composure and strength for Patroclus' sake.
Patrolcus yanked his hands back and spat, "Go away. I hate you."
"Oh, cub." Achilles sighed sadly and attempted once again to embrace the boy. Patroclus struggled violently in the embrace until Achilles relinquished his hold, and without warning, he swung at Achilles, fire in his eyes. Fortunately, thanks to his lightning-quick reflexes, Achilles ducked his cousin's attempted blow in time, but the gesture still left him even more shocked and sadder than before.
"Patroclus, I don't understand - why are you so distraught right now?!" Achilles spoke in a desperate voice, while attempting to embrace his cousin again, and once again, his attempts failed.
"Because you don't love me; you never did. You love your own glory more!" Patroclus choked out, tears streaming a path down his face as he inched even further from Achilles. "That's why I'm so upset. Are you satisfied?!"
To say that Achilles was shocked into silence would be a major understatement. When finally he found his voice, it was choking and hoarse with emotion, and he could no longer stop the tears from filling his eyes.
"Cub...oh, cub," he whispered, reflexively reaching out to embrace Patroclus again, but dropping his arms as he realized it would just be in vain again. "How could you ever think that?"
"How could I not?" Patrolcus countered, piercing him with an angry gaze again. "You do!"
"No, never," Achilles replied in a soft, broken voice. "Nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing and nobody in this world that I love more than you."
"You're lying!" Patroclus shouted, shaking his head frantically. "Your mother warned you that you would die if you went to fight in Troy, and you went anyways, knowing you'd be leaving me behind, knowing I still needed you..." he trailed off as racking sobs overwhelmed him again.
Achilles froze as his cousin's words pierced him to his very core. How could he have ever even thought of going to Troy, knowing in the back of his mind, his death would lead to Patroclus left orphaned once again, as well as traumatized beyond repair? How could he have been so selfish as to even think that glory was worth the price of his life, a life he himself didn't value, but that meant everything to the boy before him?
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I was honestly so consumed by my lust for glory that I just simply lost my mind. I convinced myself that you would be just fine without me, perhaps even better off... but I see now almost too late that it wouldn't have been the case. Oh, cub, all I can say is how deeply sorry I am! I love you more than anything, and I hope you can believe that one day and forgive me. And I promise you that from here on out, you will always come first in my life, and you will always be first on my mind before I make any rash decisions."
Patroclus, in response, flung himself willingly into Achilles' arms and clung to him for dear life. Achilles, feeling fierce joy and love overwhelm him - as well as relief - held the boy tightly in his arms and stroked his hair.
"I love you, and I need you so much!" Patroclus cried out. "I can't believe you thought I would ever be better off without you!"
Achilles only held his cousin more tightly in response and covered his head with kisses. He wasn't going to let go of him any time soon, that was for sure.
"Come now," he said, standing up with one arm still wrapped tightly around his shoulders. "Let's return to my mother. She has missed you greatly and is deeply concerned about you, as I am. Besides," he couldn't help adding jokingly, "goddesses do not like to be kept waiting!"
Two more weeks passed, and nothing changed for the two warriors. Neither could sleep apart from the other, nor did they want to. Patroclus remained as clingy as ever, and Achilles, on top of the pain and trying to adapt to life with his new injury, noticed his physical and emotional health starting to deteriorate. The lack of sleep, combined with the pain and the guilt that plagued him, left him unable to eat regularly, and he found himself losing weight at an alarming pace and with a weaker immune system.
Both continued to suffer from horrific nightmares, especially Patroclus. He dreamt often of losing Achilles, but sometimes, the worst of the nightmares came when he dreamt about the Fall of Troy or almost losing his life to Agamemnon. He would never, ever forget the sensation of almost dying. It would haunt him for the rest of his life. But no matter how much these nightmares left him nearly paralyzed with fear, he made a solemn vow not to share the nightmares about his experience in Troy with Achilles anymore. Maybe it wasn't the best or most intelligent idea, but he didn't care. He hated causing his cousin pain, and he especially hated seeing his cousin weep for him due to guilt, so he simply wouldn't