Read and review please, if you take the time to read it you can take the time to let me know what you think surely.

I own nothing.

Jess' POV.

"I'm going to the shop Jess" Quil said shaking my limp body under the covers "You've run out of milk and bread."

"Mmkay" I mumbled, he sighed and walked out. A pang of guilt shot through me when I heard the door slam. Quil was the one guy who hadn't given up on me yet, the rest of the pack had stopped coming round weeks ago with excuses like pack duty and headaches. Everyone seemed to have forgotten that 6 weeks a go Collin disappeared, I would never forget, when he left he took my heart with him. Quil was slowly becoming my best friend, ever since the night a few weeks a go I tried and failed to take my own life.

4 weeks ago

"I'll be back tonight Jess, I've got patrol" Quil whispered, I didn't answer, I don't feel like I can use my voice anymore, it hurts too much. The door slammed and when I was sure he was gone I crawled out of the cocoon I'd created under my covers. The bright sunlight hurt my eyes and I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My skin had got a greyish tinge to it, my face had become sallow and my cheek bones stuck out. I had dark shadows under my puffy eyes from not sleeping properly and crying too much. I didn't feel sad anymore, just empty. I don't see the point. I was still wearing Collin's huge jumper but his smell was fading and I couldn't remember it properly anymore. I was loosing him and myself in the process.

I crept out of the bedroom and in to the kitchen, I grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the cupboard, it was Collin's favourite and he saved it for special occasions. I went straight in to the bathroom and raided the medicine cabinet and found the sleeping pills collin got me when I was suffering from horrible dreams and refused to sleep because of it.

I climbed in to the bath and sat in it. the cold hard feel of the bath felt nice on my bare skin. I swigged some of the whiskey, the taste burning my throat. I got a handful of pills and washed them down with a long swig of whiskey. I kept drinking until I'd had half of the bottle. I felt light headed and started to giggle, soon my laughter became hysterical and I heard a loud banging on the door.

"JESS? JESS! LET ME IN!" it was Quil, but I didn't care, I felt carefree for the first time since he left me. We were supposed to be getting married in a few weeks, we were going to have children and grow old together and have races in our wheelchairs. It wasn't fair, life wasn't fair, so I didn't want to be fair anymore. I didn't want to carry on, I didn't want to pretend to anyone that I was going to get better anymore. I just wanted to end it.

I heard a smash but I could tell it was too late, I felt warm and blackness surrounded me.

"I'm coming Collin" I whispered as strong warm arms wrapped around me.

Waking up in the hospital was so painful, Quil was at my side in an instant.

"You IDIOT" he shouted at me "Do you understand how… what you tried… you mean too much to me to let you go like that" he ended up whispered and crying. I reached out and touched his face, he was warm, like Collin.

"Quil?" I croaked "Will you stay in my bed tonight?"

"Excuse me?" he stuttered

"Not like that… it's just I get so lonely without him there" my voice broke towards the end.

"Of course, if that's what you want." he squeezed my hand and stayed with me until I was allowed to go home.

He's slept in my bed every night since, it's not romantic in any way, we don't cuddle or kiss or anything, he just sleeps next to me, so in the middle of the night, when my screams wake me he can hold me and I can kid myself that Collin's there. It doesn't last long but those seconds when I forget all the shit that's happened I'm happier than I've been in a long time.

I heard the door slam again, Quil couldn't be home so early.

"Jess?"

Collin

Excitement ripped through my whole body, I jumped out of bed and ran to the voice that could make me whole. I saw him, stood in front of the door, he was staring at me, his look was a bit off though, there was something different about the emotion in his eyes. Like he wasn't all there.

He strode towards me and scooped me up in to his arms, I snuggled in to his chest and cried. I clung to his tshirt and refused to let go.

"Jess, I've missed you, but I'm home now. I need to show you something, I've been in an amazing place. You have to see it." he whispered.

I looked in to his eyes but he wasn't looking at me, not properly.

"Collin?" I managed to croak out.

"Yes darling?" Collin never calls me darling, this is wrong, I started to struggle in his arms, trying to get down. He squeezed harder and I howled in pain, this defiantly wasn't Collin. He'd never hurt me.

"Silly me, I should of taken his word for it when he said you'd be too smart for me." a deep throaty voice drawled from Collin's body that started to melt and slide away revealing the most terrifyingly beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Her skin felt like death and I struggled harder.

"Now now pet, let's not get you too hurt. I have a feeling lover boy won't be too pleased if I bring him his toy broken." she laughed and it felt like ice was stabbing me in the chest.

Leaning down she kissed me on the forehead and suddenly the sun was too bright, my eyes felt sensitive and I stared at her, shadows clung to her body and behind her shadows seemed to form wings where there weren't any before. I could hear voices, angry voices, whispering in a language I didn't understand.

"and away we go" the woman whispered in my ear, she crouched slightly and shot off in to the air.

The last thing I heard was Quil shouting my name in despair.