It's Not All About the Case

Chapter 11

Back at the precinct, Amanda was hunched over her computer screen.

"Hmmm, that's strange," she stated to Fin, who sat across from her.

"What is?" he asked.

"Just got a report back from our tech guys," she stated, "They were able to upload some additional emails from Laura McMasters' computer. Turns out she participated in some kind of message board for abused women. She mentioned how her husband abused her. She also stated her desire to shoot her husband. It's all right here."

"So she acknowledges wantin' to shoot her husband in print," Fin scowled, "What about it?"

"It's just unusual. Abused wives rarely do that," Amanda stated.

"You think she's fakin' bein' abused?"

"No, she had definitely been abused by her husband..." Amanda was in deep thought, "but it got me wondering; If she had planned to eventually shot her husband, why would she advertise it? First to an anonymous abuse hotline and then to us. It would only make her look more guilty."

Fin looked confused, "So now you think she's innocent?" he shook his head in disbelief, "You're beginning to sound a bit like Carisi."

"Carisi?" she repeated.

"Yeah, Carisi," Fin emphasized, "Remember him? The skinny cop who dresses fly at this precinct? The one you get that weird far-away look every time I mention his name?"

"I do not!" she instantly denied it, though her cheeks were warm, "And if I get that faraway look, it's probably because I'm hoping he's far-away from me!"

Fin stared unconvincingly at her, "Yeah, okay, you go with that, and maybe later you can sell me some swampland!"

She chose to ignore Fin's remark.

"Anyway," Amanda stated, "I didn't even get to the most interesting part about these emails. Although a lot of people empathized with her situation, there's this one anonymous person who keeps emailing back, encouraging her to go ahead and shoot her husband!"

"Oh yeah?" Fin finally perked up, "Maybe we need to check that person out."

"Yeah, I have a call out to the tech people about that," she informed him, "but looks like we may have to wait it out. They say they're backlogged with other cases."

"Maybe your 'far-away' boyfriend could pressure the tech guys," Fin teased.

Amanda's response was to scrunch up a scratch paper and toss it at Fin, who ducked.

"I don't comment on YOUR personal life, do I?" she challenged him.

"If I was getting personal with someone from the precinct, you would," he responded back, as they heard footsteps approaching.

Familiar footsteps.

Carisi's footsteps.

He was back from his prison visit with Laura McMasters.

Immediately Fin hunched over in his seat and pretended to be reading something in one of his folders while Amanda continued reading the computer screen.

"Heyyyy," Carisi entered, looking at the two of them, "What's up? Did I miss anything?"

He tried to act casual but he could feel his heart beating faster as he looked Amanda's way. He felt as though he had been away from her forever. Meanwhile, Amanda felt her breathing quickened at his presence.

She cleared her throat, "I've got something here," she stated, trying to keep her voice steady, "evidently, Laura McMasters received an e-mail from someone anonymous who continually encouraged her to kill her husband!"

"Oh yeah?" Carisi looked interested.

"Yeah, and I think it's worth checking out," Amanda suggested.

"I think so too," Carisi nodded, and "I appreciate you bein' objective like that."

She shrugged, "it's another lead. Who knows? We could've overlooked something."

His eyes lit up and she gave him a genuine smile.

Fin looked from one to the other.

"Do you two can get a room or somethin'?" he sardonically interjected.

Another scrunched paper flew his way, this time hitting Fin in the arm.

"Ouch! Hey, watch it!" he complained, "That's my pitchin' arm!"

.

It was 9pm in Amanda's apartment.

She was exhausted as she tossed a towel over her shoulder and then rested Jesse's head on the newly placed towel, in order to burp her. Jesse had been fussy most of the night and she was anxious to put her to bed as she lightly patted the baby on the back.

*burp*

"Good girl, Jesse," she whispered with a satisfied smile, as she got up and put Jesse down in her crib.

She had just left the nursery when she heard the light knock at her door. Moving towards the door, she opened it and was surprised to see Carisi at the door. Her pulse immediately quickened.

"Carisi?" she questioned, as her heart began to race, "What are you doing here?"

He held out a bag he had in his hand.

"I was in the neighborhood and thought you might want a late night snack of chocolate cream donuts from Sullivan's Street Bakery."

Amanda didn't say it, but Sullivan's Street Bakery was on the other side of town.

"Oh yeah?" Her mouth watered just thinking about the donuts as she opened the door wider, "Late night snack surprises are always welcomed, Carisi, so come on in!"

Carisi walked in as Amanda shut the door behind him. Their eyes met and Carisi experienced that funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. They awkwardly stood in the entryway until Carisi cleared his throat.

"...I suppose we could, uh, put these donuts on some plates..." he weakly suggested.

"Riiight..." Amanda recovered, "I'll just go and get some plates...why don't you go in the living room. I've already got some coffee brewing, too, if you want some."

He had been in her apartment numerous times, but tonight it felt odd, discomforting and nice, all mixed in together.

"Coffee sounds great!" Carisi yelled back as he went into the living room and placed the bag down on the coffee table, "Is Jesse already asleep?"

"Yes, but barely," Amanda had come into the living room with the two plates and two mugs of coffee on a tray, "The sandman came and visited her just minutes ago."

"Too bad," he regretfully stated.

"Does have to be, if you're quiet. You can sneak into the nursery and check inside her crib if you want," she suggested, as she set the treats on the plates.

"Maybe later," he half-smiled, showing enough of his dimples to make Amanda weak in the knees.

She sat down next to him and took a bite of her donut. Carisi's dimples were forgotten as her taste buds exploded with pleasure.

"Wow," she said, "I had forgotten how great Sullivan's donuts are! Thanks for picking them up!"

"Don't mention it," Carisi modestly stated as he also took a bite.

After taking a sip of coffee, she asked, "so how was your visit with Laura McMasters earlier today?"

"Telling," he casually stated.

"Oh?" Amanda looked interested, "did she say something you didn't know about the case?"

"Yeah, but not enough," Carisi told her, "turns out she might know the location of the murder weapon."

Amanda looked shocked, "Really? Why didn't you say something about that earlier? We could've gone out there and retrieved it! Where is it?"

"I don't know."

She looked exasperated, "Why don't you know?"

He explained, "Her brother was also there, actin' as co-counsel and HE was the one who said Laura knew about the locaion of the weapon. Laura McMasters denied it, unfortunately, so it's another dead end for us. But I have a feelin' she does know the gun's location because that would be a strange thing for her brother to just blurt out. "

"That's disappointing," Amanda sighed, "I guess we'll just have to locate the weapon on our own."

"Yeah. I don't trust that brother of hers. He comes off as pompous 'n vindictive. I'm not sure he's workin' for the benefit of his sister, either."

"Must be a Huntington trait," she acknowledged, as she took a sip from her mug "Anything else you get from the visit?"

Carisi looked unsure; as if he wasn't sure he wanted to say.

"Welllll..." he cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable, "turns out you were right about one thing. Laura McMasters had a different impression of my involvement with her. She thought it was more personal, but I set her straight."

One of Amanda's eyebrow shot up, but she wasn't about to do a 'I-told-you-so' lecture.

"You have any personal feelings for her?" she pointedly asked.

He shrugged, "She's attractive, I'll admit that."

"She is," Amanda agreed.

"But you were right when you said she is needy. And personally, I've never been drawn to that type of woman."

Oh God.

Amanda knew exactly where this conversation was headed. A myriad of emotions played in her heart.

"Carisi, let's not start this talk again..."

"We're not startin' it, Amanda, we're just continuin' it," he calmly stated, "and we'll stop when we have some answers."

Amanda should have figured this was what would happen if she let him in her apartment tonight. She should have closed the door on him, but maybe a part of her wanted it all to come out, too.

"Okay, fair enough," Amanda conceded, "What else needs to be said?"

Carisi looked uncomfortable; this wasn't going to be easy for him, either.

"I know we're workin' hard on a case together, Amanda, but the truth of matter is...it's not all about the case. I can't stop thinkin' about you," he admitted, "and it's drivin' me crazy. You're drivin' me crazy."

It was happening again.

All the feelings, all the emotions came flooding back again.

He gazed at Amanda with an intensity that made every inch of her skin burn. The air between them was charged as Amanda's pulse raced. His intense scrutiny caused her heart to begin thumping in mad rhythm.

The mug in Amanda hand was shaking so she placed it back down.

"For once, I'm speechless..." she admitted.

His eyes lingered on hers, "Is that all you can say? How do you feel about me?"

Embarrassed, Amanda dropped her head, "Well, I've...uh, certainly taken notice of you, Carisi."

She didn't see his expression but she got his sarcasm when he responded with, "Just stop with the barrage of compliments, Rollins! I'm not sure if I can take it all in!"

That got her to smile and she was now able to look at him. But when she did, a paralyzing warmth penetrated her.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for this," she honestly answered.

Carisi did not take his eyes off hers as he reached over to close his hand over hers. Her throat felt dry as she glanced at their enjoined hands, causing a flood of pleasure to run through her.

"From the start, you've always been honest with me ," Carisi's voice was gentle now, "sometimes brutally honest. So now's not the time to suddenly dance around an issue."

She nodded, savoring the warmth of his hand on hers.

"You're right, I have been evasive about my feelings," she told him, "It's just that this happiness stuff has always eluded me in the past," she sadly shook her head, and then suddenly her eyes then became leveled with his, "... that is, until I met you."

Carisi was overwhelmed with emotions as his heart leaped with joy at her admission.

"I'm glad you're bein' honest now," he quietly commented.

"Don't get too used to it; I'll not always be this reflective and deep!" she lightly stated, "I can also be difficult."

"That's a fact."

"Gee, thanks."

"You know what I mean," Carisi gave a playful smile back before becoming serious again, "but I also know that difficult self of yours is also capable of givin' 'n acceptin' happiness, too!"

Oh, Carisi. With every line he spoke, he was breaking every defensive wall she had so carefully built up through the years in order to protect herself.

And when his hand reached up to gently touch her cheek, she felt her willpower crumbling. She was held spellbound by his touch.

"So..." her gaze still lingering on his, "...what happens between us now?"

The way he looked at her made her cheeks prickle with heat.

"Somethin' magical," he answered.

She swallowed hard as her gaze swept over his face, "I think it could be magical between us, too."

And both knew this time it would happen.

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