Lessons of Life

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the True Blood characters (unfortunately). I only own my original stories and characters.

Thanks so much to Lorna Roxen for the continued support and reviews. Thanks to everyone else that has reviewed too...you guys rock. But on a more serious note... I'm very sick...I got need-a-review-ititis. The doctor assured me that with more reviews I'd slowly get better. So I'd appreciate if you guys could review my story and help my plight.

Chapter 11

Godric was silent for a while as we walked hand in hand in the moonlight. "Thank you Sean. I saw what you were trying to say to me. I don't want Eric to fear me like I feared my maker but he has to respect me. He has to respect you". I could see the mix of anger, pain and worry flit across his face. "Godric, as a human Eric may have been a man, but as a vampire, he's only a baby. He has so much still to learn. I agree you need to teach him a lesson but it shouldn't be as a stronger vampire dominating a weaker vampire through rage; you of all people know what that feels like". I hated saying that to Godric but I needed him to understand. Don't get me wrong, Eric needed to be out in his place but however mad he could make me, I didn't want to be the reason Godric and Eric would have a strained relationship. "Don't make him fear your age and strength Godric. Make his fear your disappointment; it should be as a father disciplining his unruly son. He may not like you to treat him as a child, or like being punished but he will learn to respect you for it". I could see Godric taking in everything I was saying and processing it. "Do you need to think on it for a while?" I asked. Godric shook his head. "No, I've calmed down enough". We hadn't walked too far from the cottage, so we headed back, circling back around. Godric and I went back inside. Eric hadn't moved from the floor. "Eric, let's deal with this now" Godric said, and Eric looked up fearfully. I went to walk outside. "Where are you going Sean?" "You two need your privacy, I'll just go for a stroll and come back in a couple of hours" I said. "No, you need to be here for this, please". So I walked over to the bed and sat down, feeling a little uncomfortable and thinking it was my entire fault but defending my actions at the same time. There wasn't anything wrong with wanting Godric to myself for a little while and it wasn't such a big deal for Eric to give us some privacy.

"Eric". Eric flinched at Godric addressing him but stayed on the ground. "I nearly lost it with you tonight. I almost let my anger and aggression take hold. I could have seriously injured you. I could have killed you. I talked with Sean and she told me I needed your respect, not your fear and she's right" Eric glanced quickly at me and then back to the floor. I could see the hint of surprise in his eyes. "It's not enough to talk to you Eric; it goes straight over your head much of the time and I shouldn't have to give you a direct command as your maker to make you heed what I am saying to you. You need a lesson in respect, obedience and a little humility and the easiest way I know how to do this is to treat you like the child you behave as and hope at some point you learn a lesson."

At this Eric finally took his eyes from the floor and looked at Godric. I could see a little mix of fear and confusion. "As I child I was stubborn and wilful, just like you. I shouldn't have to treat you like a child but you are acting like a child. I want you to know that this will hurt, but I'm doing this because I love you". I rolled my eyes at this, it was the parental 'it'll hurt me more than it'll hurt you' speech; poor Eric but the little runt deserved it too. "Do you respect me Eric?" he asked. This time Eric looked up "Of course my maker, my father". "Then understand" said Godric "You respect and love me as your maker. I see Sean as a better teacher and carer than my maker ever was. In my eyes Sean is my maker and I respect and love her. You disrespect me by disrespecting her". I couldn't but swell a little with pride but also realised all the trouble I'd caused. I could feel the tears threatening to well up in the corners of my eyes. Before I could make a blubbering fool out of myself I stood up, "Godric, I'm going to leave you to this. I don't want to be here" I pulled him down to me and kissed him on his cheek. "I'll be back later" and with that I vamped away. The kinky, angry and vengeful part of me wouldn't have minded watching Eric get his comeuppance but another part of me was ready to cry my little eyes out at what Godric had said.

When I returned later that night, Godric was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling and Eric was sitting on the floor, his back leaning against the bed. When I walked in I wasn't sure what to do. I chewed on my bottom lip hovering awkwardly near the door. It was Godric who broke the silence. The only word he said was "Eric", in a steely tone. Eric looked back at Godric and nodded, then stood up and walked over to me. I felt very small just then, straining to look up at Eric. Looking at me he spoke, barely audible "I….I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I was wrong and it was disrespectful. It won't happen again. I apologise". This wasn't the strong arrogant warrior Viking Eric before me, this was the; 'I just got a whooping by dad and he's still pissed' Eric. I nodded "Forgiven". He nodded too and walked over to look out the window.

From that night there were few incidences, at the very least in front of Godric. Whatever punishment he dealt out, it certainly made Eric think twice before starting an argument with me. That wasn't to say that we were suddenly bosom buddies. He still hated and resented me. For the next few years Godric and I met up every decade or so to spend a few weeks together.

…..approximately 1400 AD…..

"I'm bored" I whined, kicking the dirt with my foot. I was bored listening to Eric and Godric talk battle tactics. I was bored listening to them as they compared weapons they took off the soldiers to play with. I was bored listening to them talk about who was the best of the Human fighters. I was bored listening to them talk about how many soldiers they killed and how. Did I mention I was bored? "What do you want to do then?" Godric asked, pulling me onto his lap. "I want to do something girlie. Preferably something that doesn't involve fighting and killing." "I know, there's a Ball on this weekend. Why don't we go?" my face lit up at this. Eric licked his lips "beautiful ladies; at just the ripe age for the picking, feeding and fucking". I knew this was a personal dig at me but I didn't rise to the bait. "I wonder if children are allowed" he added, trying his best to goad me in. Choosing to ignore him and happy to be doing something other than watch them pillage and plunder; I made the best of the situation. "ooooh….time for a new dress….and new shoes…oh, and a new tiara…maybe some diamonds for my neck….." I clapped my hands, happy as I could be. Well….nothing wrong with a little feminine indulgence.

I had purchased a beautiful white dress with diamonds and a matching tiara and shoes. I felt like a princess. The hosts had been heavily glamoured and we were introduced as Baron Eric Von Eriksson, his brother Baron Godfrey Von Eriksson and Lady Tara Von Eriksson. I know, I know…cheesy von cheesy! I had such a lovely time. I schmoozed with the local hobnobs, ate the fine foods and listened to stories about the latest business ventures. I couldn't get into conversation….i was a child of course but I moved around the crowds with stealth, looking all cute and innocent and soaking in the culture. I danced the night away with Godric; smiling gleefully when other women tried to catch his attentions for a dance. I felt like a princess, like the centre of Godric's world. He twirled me around the dance floor. He and Eric had fun too; Eric revelling in the attention he was getting from all the women throwing themselves at his feet. He was in players heaven but it soon got out of hand.

Eric had started a fight with two human men who challenged him to fight because he had kissed one of their fiancés. Eric hit the man hard and spilled blood. Then it suddenly turned into frenzy, like sharks at live bait. I should have known a civilised evening would be too much to ask. Eric and Godric ended up taking the whole party out. I walked through the courtyard, parting my way through the madness. My beautiful dress ruined with splotches of blood. "You've ruined everything Eric" I cried. "Once, just once I wanted a night like this, with pleasant conversation, dancing…..". He heard me but only gave me a fleeting glance and went back to feeding. Godric heard me too and stopped dead in his tracks, holding a body, blood all over his face. He dropped the body and the ground and moved to me. "Don't cry my darling, we can have another night" he promised. "Oh what's the point" I cried "Was there really a need for all this bloodshed? We're going to have to burn the castle to hide this mess, it's such a waste" and I cried and cried, looking down again at my dress. "I'll make it up to you Sean. Please don't cry, please. I won't kill again if that will make you happy?" he offered. At this Eric dropped his meal and walked over to us. "You can't be serious Godric?" he questioned. He looked straight at Eric "If she asked me to I would". Eric shook he head in disbelief and backed away, going back to his meal. Godric leaned down and wiped my tears away. "Please don't cry". He lifted me up and sat me on the edge of the fountain. "I need to burn the castle Sean, will you wait?" "No" I answered "I just want to go home" and I made my way back to the cellar of the house we were resting in.

Godric and Eric arrived back a few hours later. I had washed and changed, currently sitting at a table pretending to read a book. I was still furious. My night had been ruined and I was in the mood of playing nice. So I pretended not to hear them come in and refused to look up. "Please Sean….please look around…I….I've bought you a present". I could hear the pleading in his voice…..pleading mixed with a dash of devilment. I couldn't resist and peeked around. Godric was carrying a huge box. I raised an eyebrow. "It's for you…..please forgive me?" I took the box and couldn't but smile. Inside was full of jewellery and diamonds. I recognised them form the other women at the ball. "Wow…classy….dead women's jewellery" I teased. "Forgive me" he asked giving his best pout and puppy dog eyes. I stared at him, trying to pull a frown. I could see his pout falter a little.

"I couldn't stay mad at you for long" I laughed and he bowed low in front of me. "Would you do me the honour of dancing with me Lady Tara Von Eriksson?" I nodded and he scooped me up twirling me around as he had done at the ball. We played games all night; dancing, the damsel in distress, Godric rescuing me from imaginary dragons. We laughed and laughed. Eric sulked and sulked. I woke before Eric and Godric the next evening and sneaked out to shift and go for a quick flight, something I hadn't indulged in on a very long time. "Where's Godric" I asked Eric when I returned. "Probably out buying you another 'sorry for being a vampire' present" he baulked. I ignored him. I looked at the mess around me and smiled. Last night had been fun. Godric was gone but sulky was still hanging about, waiting for his return. "If you have something to say Eric, spit it out". He zipped in front of me, growling, hits fists balled up. "Eric, back off". Eric stood towering over me, his muscles twitching. He looked like a tiger sizing up his prey, like he might pounce at any minute. "I said BACK OFF", this time I shoved him lightly in the stomach, making him stumble back a little, knocking over a wooden table.

"Damn it Sean. Look what you've done to him" he said straightening himself up. I knew what he meant but I didn't answer him. Of course I'd seen the changes in Godric but I couldn't see how that could be my fault, or at least I wouldn't admit that it might be my fault. Sure, he'd mellowed out over the years, but that wasn't so bad. I liked this Godric. Eric stalked away, grabbing his head with his fists, then, whipping around to me again "He's MY maker. Not yours. MINE. You're nothing but a toy to play with, when he's bored". I could feel my steely resolve falter. Eric saw this and took his opportunity. "You've ruined the vampire I knew; you've made him feel he owes you, that he must oblige you. That's why he's changed, because YOU made him". His voice was getting louder, his rage breaking through. "What exactly do you think he wants with you, huh? You're a child. You're nothing but a weak little runt to him. I see the way you look at him. He will NEVER look at you that way. You can NEVER satisfy him, EVER" he spat. Eric could never have physically over powered me, but those last words hit like no other pain could. I could never satisfy Godric, not like I was. This was something I felt deep down. That pain made my mind rip apart… … Eric was right, I was changing Godric and I was holding him back. I looked straight into Eric's eyes. I saw his pain and his anger but most of all I saw the hate, his pure hatred of me. I was in the way of him and Godric, and I was making Godric become something he was never meant to be. I turned, feeling the tears roll down my face and the sorrow rip at my chest. I did the only thing I could think of. I ran.

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I blinked back the tears of this memory as I drove the car back towards Stockholm. Eric saying that to me gave me the wake-up call I needed. I'd been feeling sorry for myself because I could never be a real woman for Godric yet it was my own fear that stopped me from growing up. I knew that I could if I shifted and lived as human for long enough. I spent the next couple of hundred years experiencing life. I went to school; many different schools. I dated different boys and men as my body aged, hardly using my vampire ability at all; only to create a new identity and enrol in colleges without papers. I'd been to every prestigious university throughout the world. I educated myself and thoroughly enjoyed the process of learning. It became an obsession for a while. I finally reached a maturity in my body I was happy with. I looked young enough to pass as maybe 17 or 18 but could easily convince someone I was 21 or 22 with a little makeup. I'd found my happy medium. Still sniffling and crying, I made my way back to my hotel room and collapsed onto the bed.