Disclaimer: I… Don't… Own… ANYTHING! T^T
A/N: Oh… my… GOSH! I made a mistake! I've since gone back and corrected it, but I said before that I usually update on Thursdays?? WRONG! I meant to say TUESDAYS!! Please forgive me! I got these reviews saying "I'll check back Thurs!" and I'm like "wtf?" and so I went back and read my ending statement and died a little inside. MY BAD! I usually update TUESDAYS…. Tuueeesssdaaayyysss…
Well, the aside… I wanna thank you guys again for all the great reviews! (And, no… I don't know all the kanji. Kanji's a BITCH! It makes me cry every time I read it… But it's so cool…)
EDIT!!: Okay... I don't know why, because I really like the scenes in here... but I feel like this chapter is extra lame... I'm really sorry if it is... Please allow me one bad chapter, mmkay? I'm sorry...
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No More Cry
Chapter Eleven: Lessons About Where Angels Fell
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Hayato peeked quietly through the crack in the shoji. In the spare room of Yankumi's spacious house lay Ryu. A mat and a mess of blankets had been laid about him, for he was shivering when they had arrived. As soon as he hit the floor Ryu had curled up into the blankets and stayed there. He hadn't spoken to anyone and Hayato couldn't help but feel concerned. The last time he had heard Ryu speak… he was near dying.
A hand on his shoulder spooked Hayato. He jerked around, relieved to see that it was only Yankumi. "I'm sure he's fine, Yabuki-kun," she replied. "If he wants to sleep then we better let him sleep."
"I know," Hayato replied, glancing back at Ryu. The boy's head was poking out from the covers, his hair a mess, while the rest of him remained bundled up. The fact that Ryu was sleeping was a good sign; it meant he felt safe. "I know," he repeated, finally retreating from the door. Yankumi slide the shoji shut and left Hayato to go the main room where her grandfather, Minoru, and Aniki resided.
"He's still sleeping," Yankumi reported. The others nodded in response.
"We'll be sure to… give him space when he wakes up," her grandfather said gently. Yankumi nodded along with the others. "Besides," he said, catching Yankumi's attention. "You have a guest."
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As the shoji clicked shut Ryu opened his eyes. If only he could sleep. He wasn't asleep, he just… couldn't move. It was as if all the energy he'd ever had was drained from him. Nothing seemed worth his effort. The only thing that seemed to be working overtime was his mind.
He thought of what had happened, how Hayato and Yankumi had found him; his father knocked out by Yankumi's punch, the long, painful walk here, how he just continued to lay there is his misery. Here he was at square one again; just poor, pathetic Ryu having to be doted on and cared for by others… Stupid Ryu who can't do anything on his own. Hell, he couldn't even die. Of course, that wasn't his intention, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. What if he hadn't called Hayato? What if he had just let the numbness and the void take him? He wouldn't be here, causing more complications. He wouldn't have disrupted the perfect balance of everyone else's lives. He wouldn't be such a problem. But, he knew what the biggest effect would be; his father would never be able to touch him again.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to block the thoughts out. No, Ryu, he told himself. He knew he shouldn't think like that.
Slowly, Ryu crawled from the makeshift bed and to the safety of the corner. One of the blankets was still draped around his shoulders and he hugged it close. Why wasn't his head hurting? He couldn't figure it out… and it frightened him. Without his pain… he was empty. There was nothing left to him. Everything he had, everything he was… that had all been carved out of him. He never realized how bloody empty he was without it.
As the realization crept over him what was left of the tiny dam that held his fracture mind together shattered and he fell to pieces. A single tear fell down his cheek; it was what was left of what he could feel. He buried his head in his hand, begging himself to stop… But he couldn't.
He stood, pressing himself against the wall. It was too much; everything was overloading, trying to compensate for the emptiness he felt. He looked around himself as panic took over. The walls were closing in and the room was too dark; everything was malicious in his eyes. He couldn't take it.
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Hayato rounded the corner and walked slowly to the room in which Ryu resided. Yankumi had asked him to leave her be with whatever guest she had. Hayato had complied and, unable to bear the tension any longer, resolved to see if Ryu was awake, alive, anything. He hated the fact that his friend was alone, even though it was most likely for the better. He'd just peak in, see if Ryu was breathing, and then move on.
However, just as he went to open the shoji it slid open and a mass of coppery hair filled his vision and slammed into him. Unable to react fast enough Hayato and the other person went down. It only took a second for Hayato's mind to reason just who'd smashed into him. "Ryu?" he asked, looking up.
To his surprise he saw the wide, frightened eyes of his classmate. Ryu looked terrified. He scrambled up and backed away from Hayato. "Ryu," Hayato said, standing and slowly extending his hand. "Ryu, its okay… we're at Yankumi's house. You remember walking here, right?" He took a step forward; Ryu took a step back. "Ryu," Hayato said again, his voice desperate.
Ryu just shook his head. "I… can't…" he whispered, and took off down the hallway.
"Ryu!" Hayato shouted, rushing after him. "Ryu! Wait!" He darted down the hall, trying to reach him before he found an exit. Yankumi appeared out of one of the hallway rooms.
"What's going on!?" she asked.
"Ryu's trying to run!" Hayato shouted as he rushed past her. In the corner of his eyes he saw her take off down a separate hall. He sped up, not caring if he crashed into anything. He had to get to Ryu.
Luckily, Yankumi was a fast thinker. She'd darted down a different hall and managed to cut Ryu off, sending him the other direction… right back to Hayato. Ryu rounded the corner and came to skittering halt as he saw Hayato. The other was faster, though, and grabbed a hold of Ryu before he could go anywhere else.
"Ryu! Ryu, calm down!" he shouted, struggling to keep his hold on the other without hurting him. Ryu struggled fiercely as he tried to pry himself away from Hayato.
"Let me go!" he shouted. But, Hayato wasn't going to. Instead, he managed to drag Ryu a few steps away from the direction he'd been running. Hayato watched as Yankumi jogged into view. "Let me… go! Let… let me…" Ryu rasped. Suddenly, his struggling ceased and his breathing became irregular.
"What…" Hayato said, glancing at Ryu.
"Yabuki-kun, let him go!" Yankumi ordered as she approached. Hayato obeyed and released Ryu, who stumbled back against the wall. He was hyperventilating and looking around in a disoriented manner.
"I can't… I can't…" he whispered as he slid to the floor. Hayato appeared at his side.
"Ryu, c'mon… Relax. It's okay," he said as soothingly as possible. Ryu just continued to press himself up against the wall as his breathing became more and more shallow.
"I… I can't… breathe…"
Hayato looked up at Yankumi, his own panic in his eyes. She mirrored the expression, but immediately knelt down in front of Ryu and gripped either side of his head in her hands. "Odagiri," she said in a firm voice. Ryu reacted, his eyes flicking in her direction. "Listen to me. I need you to calm down. You're safe and there's nothing here that can harm you. Yabuki-kun and I are here to protect you." Ryu shook his head, still disoriented from the hyperventilation. Yankumi looked at Hayato. "Yabuki-kun, talk to him," she said.
Hayato nodded and placed a hand on Ryu's shoulders. "Hey, Ryu… Listen to Yankumi. She's right. You're safe here. Nothing can hurt you. I'll protect you no matter what, alright?" he said as gently as he could. Suddenly Ryu's hand shot out and grabbed Hayato's arm.
"I can't escape him!" he forced out. "He's everywhere… he's everywhere…"
"Ryu!" Hayato said again, but Ryu's eyes finally closed and he slumped to the side. Hayato was there to catch him and immediately made sure he was still breathing. Thankfully, he was. "Ryu…" he whispered. Yankumi placed a hand on Hayato's shoulder.
"Come on; let's get him back to the spare room. You can keep a watch over him there."
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Ryu's first thought when he was awake was OW!
He wasn't sure how he'd ended up there, but he was back in the spare room of Yankumi's house, that much he could tell, which meant that his escape attempt had been completely unsuccessful. Still, the rude awakening of his brain splitting open wasn't very helpful either. He sat up and clutched his head in his hands as he clenched his teeth, forbidding any moan of pain to escape him.
"Ryu! You're awake!" said a painfully familiar voice. No, Ryu thought miserably. He can't see me like this… "What's wrong?"
"I'm fine," he said tersely. He cracked his eyes open to see Hayato's openly concerned face. The longer he looked at him the more Ryu wanted to curl up and die. Anything to save him from the embarrassment, the pain, life…
"Is it just your head?" Hayato asked, ignoring Ryu's obvious distaste for his doting. Still, against Ryu's will, he found himself nodding. A hand suddenly appeared in his vision holding a few aspirin and a glass of water. Ryu stared at it for a total of two seconds before auto-pilot kicked in. In a flash he'd swallowed the pills and downed water. It wouldn't do much, but he didn't care. Anything was better than nothing. "Jesus…" Hayato whispered.
"What?" Ryu growled, glancing at Hayato with tired, fed up eyes. "Does it really surprise you? Does any of this really surprise you?" he asked. Hayato's eyes widened slightly.
"Ryu… What're you talking about?"
"This!" he shouted, immediately regretting the action as it made his head pound harder. "Does any of this surprise you!? Poor, pathetic, little Ryu… never wanted to fight… never wanted pain or blood. But it always happened, didn't it!?" he said harshly. Hayato was silent. "Yeah… Well, it happened. Here I am again, beaten and bruised… and… and this stupid headache!" He clenched his fist and slammed it against the floor. "It's not fair!" he shouted. "I always did what I was told… I always… Always!" His voice cracked. Suddenly, Hayato realized that this is what Ryu needed. He needed to get everything out… he needed to vent, to shout, to hit… he needed to cry. He remained silent, hoping Ryu would continue.
"Now look at me," he said, his voice completely devoid of the forceful frustration it possessed earlier. "I just did what I was told… and now look at me…" He drew his knees up to his chin and wrapped his trembling arms around them. He looked so small, so fragile… it was hard for Hayato not to cry himself. "I can't escape him," he whispered. "Even when he's not here… even when I'm safe… he's already won…" That's when they came; the actual tears. Slowly at first, without any reaction from Ryu, but they didn't stay that way.
Ryu buried his head in his arms and sobs racked his shoulders. There was no hesitation as Hayato gently pulled Ryu close to him and held him as he cried. He was trembling and Hayato could feel the tears on his arms. Even as Ryu tried to push him away he held on and… slowly… Ryu gave in, willingly crying into the fabric of Hayato's shirt. Hayato continued to restrain himself from crying as well. He needed to be as strong as he possibly cool… but it was so difficult. When you see someone who's always been a source of strength and cold hard resolve… even if you knew that person was mentally weak, you refuse to believe so until you actually see them break down and fall to pieces… right in your arms.
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Yankumi slowly slid the shoji door open. The scene that met her eyes pulled at her heart strings and she felt tears sting her eyes. Hayato was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall while Ryu was curled up in a ball next to him. She could see Ryu's fingertips sticking out from under the covers and gently gripping the cuff of Hayato's jeans. The dried tears on Ryu's cheek made her heart ache as well. Still, she was thankful that he was actually resting and that he had managed to release some amount of stress.
As quietly as she possibly could Yankumi made her way over to the two and gently shook Hayato's shoulder. "Yabuki-kun," she said. Hayato's eyes slowly fluttered open.
"Huh? Wha...?" Hayato mumbled, looking around in confusion. He caught sight of Ryu and became still. Yankumi smiled.
"Don't worry, he's fast asleep," she assured him. "Come on… You've been up since four and it's already past noon… how about some breakfast?" She gave another smile.
Hayato looked down at Ryu again, torn between leaving him and staying. As if from divine intervention his stomach gave a low growl. He smirked. "Well, I suppose that wouldn't be a bad idea…" he reasoned, pushing himself up. Ryu shifted slightly and his fingers tightened around the cuff of Hayato's jeans. Hayato leaned down and gently pulled Ryu's hand away. "I'll be back, I promise."
Yankumi lead them out of the room and down the hall. Hayato yawned and stretched, his back a little sore after sleeping in such a stiff position. Yankumi glanced back and gave Hayato a serious expression. "I have some… news," she said. Hayato stopped.
"Ryu's father…?" he asked, an inkling of fear touching him. Yankumi, however, shook her head and put his mind at ease.
"It's about that old student of mine you called," she said. Hayato blinked. "Sawada Shin?"
"Oh!" he said, suddenly remembering the master plan he and the others had come up with. "Damnit… I forgot."
"Yes and a lot has happened since then," Yankumi supplied. Hayato rubbed the back of his neck.
"Gyaah… Maybe you were right… Maybe having this guy meet Ryu wasn't such a good idea," he mused. Yankumi put her hands on her hips.
"I told you that Odagiri-kun didn't need to see a total stranger. But, the problem is that Sawada is already-"
"Did I hear you say something about Odagiri Ryu?" said a male voice from around the corner. Hayato watched with curiosity as a tall, dark haired man joined him and Yankumi in the hall. He had a sort of baby face, but his eyes were intelligent and void-like… they reminded Hayato of Ryu's eyes in a sense, masked and consuming.
"Sawada!" Yankumi said, clearly startled. Hayato, however, didn't care about the sudden intrusion.
"You know Ryu?" he asked, putting forth his most cold, protective front. No one was getting close to Ryu without his permission.
The stranger, however, seemed unaffected by Hayato's attitude. Instead, he gave an odd little smirk and ran a hand through his overgrown hair. "Know him? Hell, I know Odagiri Ryu better than I know you, Yankumi."
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0 Le gasp! WTF does that mean!?!? Well, you'll see! BWAHAHAH!
ANYWAYS! There is something VERY IMPORTANT that you need to do right now, I mean, even before you review! Okay… y'know the whole scene where Ryu FINALLY effing cries? Well, I was listening to a song that just randomly came up while I was writing this… and it so beautifully and perfectly fits that scene! If I had directed Gokusen and put that scene in there and had lots of free time… I'd totally make a YouTube vid with that scene and this song. The song…?
Where Angels Fell – Stutterfly
So, before you even review… look up the lyrics, YouTube the song, I don't care… But I seriously want you guys to feel the emotion behind that and this song is so perfect for it…
Hold me in your arms
As the tears flow
Promise me and say
I won't go
I won't go
I won't…
(btw… I know I said I update on Tuesdays usually… but I figured I might as well crank this one out… Ciao!)