AN: Again, more ironic than out and out funny... but still
Azog vs the cest
After building two farms, a guard tower and two mines, Azog had finished his tutorial and leveled. While he was nowhere near Kili's level of understanding in the game—it did feel good to be doing something other than depending on fans for validation.
He realized that was exactly what happened and he felt abashed.
"When," he asked Kili, "Did I become so co-dependent on these creatures?"
"I think it was somewhere between the horror at what they were doing, and having you do—and the realization that there were some things you could do about it."
"When I joined the real world?"
"Pretty much."
Azog looked around and realized what had been bothering him. "Where's your brother?"
"Fili?" Kili asked looking around.
"Yes, Fili… how many brothers do you have?"
"Just the one, and trust me—that's more than enough."
Something in his tone made Azog pause and study the young dwarf. "Is everything alright?"
Kili looked up and sighed. "Yeah… he just found out about Durincest and it's made him a bit squiffy."
"Durincest?" Azog asked then froze as he realized what Kili was talking about. "Oh."
Kili shrugged. "Yeah… 'Oh' Anyway… he decided that maybe if we spend some time apart… it'll be easier to deal with…"
"How's that working for him?"
Kili snorted. "It's not. If anything he's crankier, less hunky and his hotness ratings are down."
Azog chuckled, then grew serious "How's that working out for you?"
Kili's face fell slightly. "I'm playing me in a video game… Writing fan fiction for a teacher who doesn't know the first thing about sword play, commiserating with someone who, by all accounts, should have me chained to the wall while making me experience unspeakable horrors."
Azog paused. "You are reading fanfiction…"
Kili laughed and raised his cup. "I'll drink to that."