Heheheheheh... We're back! Sorry about the delay. This was supposed to be up Monday, but due to complications, it didn't get up until today. Thanks for all the lovely reviews. Enjoy!
We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, American Idol, the songs used in this fic, or anything else you recognize.
"Gahwee, yooz gowen bye bye!" Dartz wailed.
"What?" the contestants murmured.
"Gary is going home!" Ryan cleared up the confusion.
"Oooohhhhh."
Gary sang his song, and for some reason, the judges decided to save him.
To celebrate, the contestants went to a restaurant named SuperAnts the next day for dinner. The restaurant had a reputation of four star food, seven star prices, and two star service.
The group was seated and met their waitress, someone quite familiar to them.
Myranduh was back.
"Gary!" she squealed. "I can't believe you almost got voted off last night! I told everyone here to vote for you!"
"That explains his lack of votes then," Josh grinned. Myranduh shot him a dirty look.
"So what do you want to drink?" she asked.
"I want-" Trisha started.
"I was talking to Gary."
"Oh...," Trisha looked around at the table for help.
"I want pink lemonade," Riley said.
"We only have regular lemonade," Myranduh said dryly.
"Dammit, woman! I want pink lemonade!"
"WE DON'T HAVE PINK LEMONADE!"
"I STILL WANT IT!"
After ten minutes of pointless arguing, everyone's order had been taken. Much to Gary's delight, there was Sprite. It's just so hard to find a place that sells Sprite these days. Mickey and Trisha both ordered lemon with a side of water, Riley was supposedly getting pink lemonade, Melvin had ordered blood(type O), Stella ordered chlorine water, and Steve, Josh, and Bakura never got a chance to order. Myranduh walked away.
"I thought we were done with her when she got voted off," Josh whispered.
"I heard that!" Myranduh screamed from five tables away.
Minutes later, Myranduh returned with the drinks. She dumped both lemons with a side of water on Melvin's head. Then, she threw the Sprite at Riley and placed the pink lemonade neatly in front of Gary.
"This takes like fruit punch," Melvin complained.
"Well , sorry. We're not allowed to sell blood anymore," Myranduh told him.
In front of Josh, Steve, and Bakura, there was a rock, chocolate smoothie, and a martini in that order.
"How came he gets alcohol? He's not even 21," Mickey commented.
"Fine, I'll get him orange juice," Myranduh snatched up Bakura's martini.
"How am I supposed to drink a rock!?" Josh asked.
Myranduh walked away. "Suck it up."
"You didn't even give me a straw, bitch!"
Gary and Riley traded the pink lemonade and Sprite. Stella, Mickey, Trisha, and Josh had a conversation about whether to stay or run away now. Steve played tic tac toe with herself.
When Myranduh returned, she had Bakura's orange juice, another drink, and a plate of something. She dumped the second drink on Melvin's head.
"What is that?" Stella commented on the food.
"It's shrimp fondue. Your appetizer. Duh," Myranduh said.
"We didn't order any appetizer," Mickey explained.
"I don't like you," Myranduh glared. While they spent a few minutes looking over the menus, Myranduh tapped her foot impatiently.
"I want-" Gary began.
"Sweetie, I'll bring you something fabulous, don't worry," Myranduh smiled.
Everyone else ordered. Myranduh blatantly ignored Josh's questions about how to drink a rock. She also left before Bakura could order.
"I need a steak!" Bakura yelled after her. "Otherwise I'll eat Gary!"
"I'll have your head on a stick if you do!" Myranduh shrieked.
"Then bring me a steak and we won't have this problem!"
While they waited, everyone tentatively picked at the shrimp fondue. Stella seemed to be the only one who particularly liked it. Josh choked on a piece of hardened cheese he was unable to wash down with his rock. Myranduh briefly returned to dump another drink on Melvin's head.
An awkward silence prevailed until Myranduh brought out their meals.
Gary received a giant platter of lobster, Bakura got a 205 ounce steak, Melvin was given a haphazardly put together grilled cheese sandwich, Trisha got a bowl of unnaturally green soup, Stella was given a dog bowl full of water, Riley received an extremely burnt turkey panini, Mickey got the vegetarian special, Steve was given a bucket of hot sauce, and Josh received a giant rock to go with his "drink". Myranduh dumped a drink on Melvin's head once again and left.
"What's wrong with that?" Josh asked, pointing to Trisha's glowing green soup.
"I wouldn't eat that," Mickey advised.
"Mhmm," Stella nodded. "That's a highly volatile substance, especially when combined with stomach acid."
"And you know this how?" Riley asked.
"I like to blow things up."
Trisha pushed her soup off to the side. "I'll just wait for dessert," she decided.
Meanwhile, Bakura had just finished his steak. Everyone was looking at him in awe.
"Steve, you actually ate all that hot sauce?!" Trisha shrieked. Steve looked at her blankly and nodded. Melvin had an amused look on his face.
"Dessert," Myranduh sailed in with another drink to dump on Melvin's head.
"I haven't even finished this panini yet, which by the way is hard as a rock!" Riley exclaimed.
"Tell me about it," Josh moaned miserably.
"So do we want dessert?" Myranduh asked. Everyone nodded. "Oh, yippee. More work for me."
"I want-"
"People, people, people. By now you should realize you eat what I bring you," Myranduh stated flatly.
"I want something filled with sugar!" Gary said.
"Don't worry, sweetie. I'll bring you something fabulous." Myranduh left once again.
Everyone nervously awaited her return. When she did, they all screamed. Stella got ice served in a dog bowl, Trisha got suspiciously green, possibly radioactive ice cream, Riley got a slice of cheesecake, and Mickey was given a giant ice cream sundae. Steve got a piece of cake drizzled with hot sauce so strong it was eating away at the cake, Josh got another rock (medium-sized this time), Melvin received an oversized parfait, and Bakura got a chocolate mudslide. Gary was given an entire milkshake cake.
"What the heck is a milkshake cake?" he asked.
"I dunno. I just told the chefs to whip up something extra special for a super hot guy and this is what they gave me," Myranduh told him.
"Can I have sprinkles?" Melvin asked completely uncharacteristically. Myranduh dumped them on his head.
The milkshake cake turned out to be pretty good. Gary shared it with the others, since most of their meals were inedible.
Myranduh came back with the check. Bakura took it.
"It says $3, 624,896! How the bloody hell is that right?" Bakura exclaimed.
"Oh, oops. That's my cell number. Give it to Gary. Here's the real check," Myranduh handed it to him.
The check turned out to be $497.23. They gave her a $50 tip, which was probably more than she deserved.
After, they bolted. On the way out, Myranduh dumped one final drink on Melvin's head and charged them $2 for it.
As they were making their way hastily through the parking lot to their limo, Melvin stopped abruptly.
"I think I forgot something," he said as he turned around and started walking back towards the restaurant. After the rest of the top nine watched him walk in, within seconds they heard bloodcurdling screams. They thought it best to wait inside the limo for Melvin's return. A few minutes later, Melvin climbed in the limo as well, covered in blood along with the various liquids Myranduh had poured on him.
"We won't be hearing from Myranduh anytime soon," he said with a twisted face and a dark chuckle. Everyone was unsurprisingly ok with that. They then were driven back to their hotel to try to get some sleep.
It was the next day, and it was once again time for the top nine to get help from their mentors. They all walked into the dark waiting room fearing the worst except for Melvin and Bakura, who didn't really care. They found the room to be dimly lit, with a row of nine chairs facing a gigantic box with a big square cut in it. As soon as everyone sat down, a spotlight shown on the big box. Underneath the giant hole in scrawly letters read, "The Great Master Dartz's Puppet Extravaganza".
Everyone was extremely confused, until suddenly two hand puppets popped out, seeming to stand on their stage. They were exact replicas of Riley and Gary.
"What in the..?" Riley started, but he was shushed by Gary. The puppet show then began.
"It is I, The gweat and poweful Gawy Oak!" The Gary puppet said, obviously voiced by Dartz.
"And I'm Riley! I have a Lucario fetish and I sound like Kalin Kessler from 5D's!" This was said by Raphael.
Suddenly, a goth looking puppet appeared. In a high pitched voice, Alister said, "I'm Stella! And I'm in love with Riley!" The Stella puppet went to glomp the Riley puppet, but the Riley puppet put his hand up to stop her.
"I'm sorry, Stella. I cannot accept you. For Gary is the one I love!" Riley moved towards Gary, who also stopped him with his hand.
"Riwey, we awen't meant to bwe! Foh I am nawt gay."
"Oh."
Suddenly, all the current puppets dropped down, and four new ones appeared. It was Trisha, Josh, Mickey, and Bakura. One of the actors hands tacked a paper along the wall of the box that read "Hospital".
"Mickey, we must make our suicide pact! Or our love wont last!" Rapheal said in a high pitched voice while controlling the Trisha puppet.
"Yesh, Twisha! We must die to bwe tgwethah!" Dartz said, voicing Mickey.
Puppet Bakura started yelling at puppet Josh.
"What do you mean he's not gonna make it!? Are you telling me my husband will die!?" Bakura yelled, voiced by Valon.
"I'm sorry sir," puppet Josh replied, voiced by Alister, "but he's severely allergic to cats. And I regret to tell you, but you are part cat."
The puppets all gasped.
"Twisha, we must adopt this poah, gay, keety and waise him as our own!"
"Yes! It looks like killing ourselves will have to wait!"
The puppets dropped again, and were replaced by Melvin and Steve. The hospital sign was also changed to "Park".
"Mewvin!" Puppet Steve shouted, voiced by Dartz, "I cahnnot be with youz anymohe! Youz eez tahkin ovah my life!"
"But Steve! I am nothing without you!" Puppet Melvin yelled back, voiced by Alister.
"Its too wate, Mehvin! I haf founded sumone ewse!"
The Riley puppet popped up. Melvin puppet gasped.
"You've been cheating on me!?"
"Yehs Mewvin, but dere is a weason."
"And what would that be!?"
"I am a stwaight woman, and you are not reawy a man! I know aww about youzes sex change oparawtion back in '95!"
The Melvin puppet gasped again.
"Well you know what?" He replied, "I've been cheating on you!"
Puppet Stella popped up next to Melvin. Steve gasped.
"WE AWE OVAH, MEWVIN!"
"WE WERE OVER A LONG TIME AGO!"
The puppets dropped again.
"Park" was replaced with "Grocery Store".
Josh, Steve, and Trisha popped up. Josh and Steve were pushing the same cart and Trisha bumped into them.
"Oh, hello Josh." Alister said as Trisha.
"Hewwo Twisha." Dartz said as Josh.
"Who is this with you?"
"Oh uh... Dis eez my girfwiend, Steve."
"That's funny. You told me you broke up with me because you were gay."
The audience gasped.
"Wew, uh.."
"SAVE IT, ASS MUNCH!"
"Hold it honey, don't be insultin' my man!" Steve said, voiced by Valon.
The two female puppets started going at it, while the Josh puppet slowly backed away. Stella and Mickey had to break them up. Then the puppets dropped again and the next scene started.
"Grocery Store" was taken down and replaced with "House". Then, a puppet Marik appeared.
"I am Marik Sebastian Ishtar the third! I like thiefshipping and yaoi!" The puppet yelled, voiced by Raphael. Puppet Bakura appeared. Puppet Marik slapped him across the face.
"HOW DO YOU NOT LIKE THIEFSHIPPING!? ITS TOTALLY CANON!" Puppet Marik screamed at puppet Bakura.
Puppet Bakura, voiced by Dartz, replied with, "Becauwse, I am secwetly a Tendewshippew!" The crowd and puppet Marik gasped and the real Bakura gagged.
Then puppet Ryou popped up and puppet Marik punched him in the face.
"How DARE you steal my kitty!"
Then puppet Marik glomped puppet Bakura and a piece of paper got held up in front of them that read, "It is implied that they're having sex".
The puppets all went down, and the next scene started.
Melvin and Bakura popped up. The puppets started slamming into each other. They could be fighting, but because the scene was still "House", it was implied they were making out. Then Ryou popped up.
"YOU GUYS ARE PSYCHOS!" he screamed, voiced by Alister. The two stopped 'making out' and turned to face Ryou.
"YOUZES JUST JEAWOUS BECAUWSE I DAWNT LOVE YOUZ!" Dartz yelled as puppet Bakura.
Puppet Melvin looked back and forth between the two. Then, voiced by Valon, he said, "If I had to choose between being a psycho and dying, I'd rather die." Then Melvin started 'making out' with Ryou. Puppet Bakura started screaming. Then, puppet Marik showed up again.
Voiced by Raphael, he screamed, "I FEEL ANGSTY!'" and he threw off Melvin and stole Ryou. Then, the puppets shrugged, and the psychoshipping continued. At this point, the real Melvin picked up his Millenium Rod, unleashed the lightsaber, and tore up the stage.
"Show over." He said, seething with rage and a look of disgust on his face. The motorcycle gang trembled with terror as the split personality stormed out of the room. Everyone followed him out except for Bakura, who was throwing up violently.
It looked like once again, the mentors were completely useless.
It was the day of the singing. Ryan Seacrest walked out on the stage to roaring cheers from the crowd.
"Good evening, America! Tonight, we'll hear some random songs from out contestants today! And don't forget to vote- because two contestants will be going home tomorrow! So, without further ado, once again, your top nine!"
The top nine came out and sang and danced to some random song, and then all went up to the balcony. As it turned out, this week they'd be showing short videos of the contestants while they were in Hollywood. After the video played, the contestants would then sing.
None of the contestants knew of this until the night of the show, and were all really freaked out about the hidden footage American Idol was about to show the world.
The first contestant to go was Josh. The footage showed him in an intense ping pong match against himself. He had on sweat bands and was playing against a wall. He had no idea he was being watched, and was talking to himself while he played. The crowd erupted into laughter, and Josh tried to hide under the couch so he wouldn't have to sing. But the stage hands dragged him onto the stage, and despite being mind numbingly embarrassed, he sang quite well.
Next, it was Mickey's turn. The video was a clip of him having a staring contest with a chicken. Nobody knew how he got it, but the staring contest went on for a few minutes. Then, Mickey sang.
After he was done, it was Trisha's turn. She was on a date with Mickey. This disgusted everyone in the audience. After her was Stella. Her video was of her trying to blow things up in the microwave. Steve's video was next, and it was of her with a blank look in her eye, walking around the room and breakung things. It had gotten to the point where nobody really minded what she did when her eyes went blank, because she wouldn't respond to anyone. After her came Riley and Gary. Riley was reading Riolu a bedtime story, and Gary was training fisher cats and dumping vats of ketchup in a nearby river.
After them was Melvin. His video wasn't allowed to be aired because of all the violence and torture he did 24/7. So, they let him do a song parody of a song of his choosing instead. He chose 'Domino' by Jessie J.
I'm feeling crazed and angry
Like blood is raining me,
I'll control the albino,
And I'll watch his mind explode!
I can taste their blood like a pile of guts in the air,
now they're screaming and they're all running away from me now,
don't you know
Its your mind that I'll control!
(Mwa-ha-ha-haa!)
I could do this all night
Damn midriff shirts are skin tight,
Fangirls come on!
I could kill all of them,
Stabbing with a rhythm
Florence, come on!
(Mwa-ha-ha-haa!)
End all their lives with a trademark hug!
Let their screams echo throughout halls
Poison them with a toxic drug,
Take them down just like they're dominos!
Every killing is a highlight! When fangirls die, they can't let Fluffy go
Dirty murd'ring in the moonlight!
I'll take them down just like they're dominos!
You know that I've lost my mind!
Yet I get fans without even trying,
I am now an Idol star!
And the shadow realm ain't too far
I can taste their blood like a pile of guts in the air,
now they're screaming and they're all running away from me now,
don't you know
Its your mind that I'll control!
(Mwa-ha-ha-haa)
I can murder all night,
My leather pants are skin tight,
Fangirls come on!
I could kill all of them,
Stabbing with a rhythm
Florence, come on!
End all their lives with a trademark hug!
Let their screams echo throughout halls
Poison them with a toxic drug,
Take them down just like they're dominos!
Every killing is a highlight! When fangirls die, they can't let Fluffy go
Dirty murd'ring in the moonlight!
I'll take them down just like they're dominos!
Oh Fangirls, Fangirls, got me hugging so tight! ,(x3)
Oh Fangirls, Fangirls, murder in the moonlight (x3)
End all their lives with a trademark hug!
Let their screams echo throughout halls
Poison them with a toxic drug,
Take them down just like they're dominos!
Every killing is a highlight! When fangirls die, they can't let Fluffy go
Dirty murd'ring in the moonlight!
I'll take them down just like they're dominos!
The crowd loved his song, but they weren't entirely pleased with him being a serial killer. Next came Bakura. It was a video of him earlier in the week.
"Ugh, there's nothing to do," Bakura said to himself as he walked into the hotels restaurant. He walked up to the fish tank and started looking at the fish. Their swimming pattern started to annoy Bakura, so he started tapping on the glass. He was smirking to himself as the fish started freaking out, when suddenly, the tank started to turn black. He didn't realize there was a squid in the tank. More specifically, an insane kamikaze squid. Once Bakura was distracted with the ink, the squid propelled itself out of the tank and latched onto his face. Bakura began to scream muffled swears and stareted swinging his knife and flailing around the room, trying to get the squid off. People were screaming and running around to avoid the blinded Bakura, and so the dining room was quickly vacated. At this point, Bakura was now rolling around on the floor, still unable to pull it off his face. Melvin then came bursting in to the room, attracted by all the bloodcurdling screams of the people who he had yet to realize already fled. He took one look at Bakura rolling about and scrunched up his face.
"Eww, Florence. Tentacle porn? Really?"
As soon as he said this though, his eyes rolled back and his hair flattened. Marik came was taking over. He pulled out the millenium rod and screamed, "BAKURA! I TOLD YOU that the squid was evil and deprived of sex! But did you listen? Of COURSE not you FRGGIN FRIG!" As he was screaming this, he ripped off the squid and started beating it with the rod. Bakura watched in fascination as the squids brains and blood splattered everywhere.
When it was dead, he and Marik were thoroughly coated in a sickening mixture of ink and blood. Marik calmed down, and after a few deep breaths he said, "Wanna go scare some neighborhood kids?"
Bakura smirked. "Only if I get to stab their parents afterword."
"Ugh... fine."
Half of the crowd was throwing up, and the stench was so bad, the other half threw up as well.
Suddenly,the video and all the stage lights shut off.
Dartz was able to find a flashlight, so he looked into the camera and yelled,
"Even do Bakyuya didn't get to seeng, we wiw end da sow earwy todayyy! VOTE NOW!"
"Steve, I'm sorry, but you're going home," Ryan Seacrest solemnly said as the crowd let out an 'Aww'.
"Well America, that leaves us with our final two, and one of them will be going home."
"One mow teem, youzes bottom two ezz-"
Ryan Seacrest then cut off Dartz.
"Melvin and Bakura."
Ohhhh a cliffhanger. Didn't see that coming did ya? Who's predictable now huh? Yeah. So I hope you guys liked this. I'm kind of mad at myself, cuz ghostfairy did the first bit and it was a lot funnier than my bit. *sigh* I'll get better for the next chapter! Oh and don't forget to vote! Melvin or Bakura... and the answer may surprise you. Mwahahahahahaha. Well, thanks again for all the faves and follows and reviews! They really mean a lot :) Oh and like I said, I'm in a bit of a rut, so some reviews on how to do better with this would be really great! Oh and one last thing- A big THANK YOU to Darkspirityami for her parody of Domino! YOUZ IS AWESOME! I hope to see all of you return for the next chapter! Love ya!
Wham-bam- soup in a can
DyNaMiTe AnD sOuP