Chapter 11
"Alistair, what are you doing?" She whispered.
"I needed to speak to you and you have refused to see me since you woke up," Alistair replied.
"Why did you pull me in here? You could have talked to me out there?" She pointed to the ballroom.
"Because I didn't want to be interrupted I have some things that I need to say and I want to make sure that I can say it without anyone disturbing us."
Bella didn't say anything so Alistair took that as a queue to continue. "Ella, I am so sorry for what I said to you during the tournament. My anger at you for pulling away and my jealousy over the fact that other people get to be a part of your life and I no longer can just boiled over." He paused and let out a long sigh before he continued, "when I think about the things that I said to you I cringe. The Maker should have struck me down right there." He chuckled to himself more then to her and said, "As it turned out it was you that did that for him."
Bella had her head hung down. She was afraid that if she looked at him she would no longer be able to fight back the tears. "Ella, please say you can forgive me. I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life." Bella just nodded. She knew that the things that Alistair had said to her were fueled by frustration and anger. If she had just explained her feelings to him he would have been more understanding. He may not be happy, but he would have understood.
The last time they had seen each other they had shared the most memorable, tender night of their lives. She was sure that Alistair had expected their relationship to continue just as before just without the sex and Bella had wanted the same thing. She didn't want to lose her friendship with Alistair. He was her best friend. However, that first day in Denerim when she had lunch with Alistair and Anna the pain that had ripped through her heart was more then she could bare. Seeing Anna beside the only man she had ever loved as his wife and Queen was eating at her soul. If she had just had the same amount of faith in them that Alistair had she would be married to him and telling him that she was about to make him a father. In order to ease her own pain and to protect herself she had distanted herself from Alistair with no thought to the pain that she had causing him. Damn it, at times she could be such a selfish bitch.
"Does that mean yes you forgive me?" She just nodded again not trusting her voice. He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up towards him. The feel of his touch sent a shock through her limbs and caused her body to respond the way it always did when he touched her - with an aching and yearning to be touched and devoured by him. A tear slid down her check, Maker's breath, she had royally screwed everything up.
Alistair wiped the tear away with his thumb which made the tears now come down more freely. Alistair cupped her face in his hands and said, "I am so, so sorry, Ella. If I could take it back I would. I never wanted to make you cry. The last thing I would ever wanted to do is cause you pain." And before she could even respond his lips were on hers and she felt the world and the pain disappear.
His mouth covered hers as he tenderly and lovingly parted her lips with his tongue. His tongue sought out hers and they began to dance together. Maker he tasted so good and sweet. Alistair deepened the kiss as their tongues entangled around each other. Ripples of pleasure coursed through her body and she pressed her body into his and he moaned against her lips. Sweet Andraste, he felt so good. The contours of his body and the way she perfectly molded into his chest. Every ounce of love that they shared was poured into that one kiss and the enormity of what she had lost came crushing down on her. When their lips parted her head began to spin and her legs began to give out on her. Alistair felt her body start to go limp and he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him. "Ella, Ella, are you okay?"
Bella tried to clear her head as she leaned her head against Alistair's shoulder. "I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you."
Alistair laughed, "Maker's breath woman, I know I'm a good kisser, but I didn't realize I could make you swoon that easily."
She laughed, "It's been a long couple of day. I don't know if you heard, but I was involved in this little sparring exhibition that took a lot of me."
Alistair frowned, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to turn into that."
"It's alright. I'm fine. I just keep forgetting that I am still recovering. I am not use to taking it easy." She felt a pang of guilt as the lie slipped from her lips.
"Ella, you need to take it easy and allow yourself time to heal."
"Yes, well that's easier said than done," Bella replied.
"Please, Love, you need to take care of yourself first," he said.
"If I don't start to feel better soon I was thinking of going to Highever for a break. It's been a busy couple of years and I think I might need a break." She said as she laid the ground work for the deception and the guilt continued to press down on her.
"Raising an army, killing an archdemon, defeating a blight, governing an Arling, recruiting Grey Wardens and killing the Mother….no I don't see why you would need a vacation." Alistair replied with a laugh. "Look, Ella, you're the strongest person I know, but even you need to take time off for yourself."
"Yes, I know. Don't those damn pesky darkspawn know I need some rest? How thoughtless of them!" Bella exclaimed.
Alistair chuckled as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Promise me you will get some rest."
Bella nodded. "Good," Alistair paused and then changed the subject. "Ella, I have to know if I've done something wrong. Ever since you have arrived in Denerim there has been this distance between us and I don't know why."
Bella pulled back from Alistair's grasp slightly and looked down and sighed, "Alistair, you haven't done anything wrong. To be honest it was too painful to be around you. I didn't expect it to hurt so much to see you and the Queen together. In my head I know that I made the right decision for Ferelden, but my heart doesn't see in black and white." She paused then continued, "I'm sorry that I just pulled away from you without an explanation."
Alistair pulled her closer and kissed the top of her forehead. "Ella, I need you in my life. I don't know how not to have you in my life. We have to work through this somehow. I know that deep down in my heart that the Maker didn't bring us together just to have us ripped apart."
Wynne's words echoed in her mind, 'even though you took a detour from his plan the Maker is still trying to work out his plan for you'. Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts, "Sitting at lunch with you and Anna I had to sit on my hands to keep from touching you. I don't know how to just be your friend when standing that close to you all I wanted was to feel your lips on mine, to feel you touch me and knowing you can never be mine again. It's slowly killing me."
Alistair smiled sadly at her, "Does it help at all to know I feel the exact same way?"
She looked at him, smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "It's nice to know that I haven't been replaced and that you still love me, but in the end that doesn't change anything or make it any easier. I need time Alistair. It's good that we both don't live in Denerim. Time apart is the only thing that is going to help heal this wound."
Alistair stared down at her with such sadness it caused her physical pain. "If that is what you need then I will give it to you, but please promise me that eventually we will find our way back to each other."
She looked into his honey brown eyes for a long time and for the second time that day made a promise she wasn't sure she could keep, "Give me some time, Alistair. I need time to sort things out and I promise I will come back to you as your friend and confidant."
He looked at her and nodded, "Then time is what I will give you," and then he leaned down and kissed her once more. His lips were so soft and sweet as they pressed against hers and the world once again just seem to melt away. It was just the two of them, with no more pain, no more longing, just love. He eventually drew away from her. He ran a finger down her check and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "You are just as beautiful as a strawberry blond, but I think I prefer your chestnut brown hair."
"Speaking of my hair, how did you know it was me? I thought my disguise was pretty good."
"It's funny you should mention that. All night long I kept hearing from all of the guests about the beautiful, mysterious strawberry blond guest and who was she, but every time I tried to find this "mysterious guest" she had moved to a different part of the room. Then as luck would have it; I was standing in front of Anna when the lovely mystery guest approached her from behind - nice stealth move, by the way, very impressive. Anyway, Anna spun around to talk to the mystery lady and I was able to look into her face the entire time she talked with Anna," he paused, "My Love, I would know your expressive, lovely eyes anywhere so I followed you until you got close to the alcove and then pulled you in here."
"I didn't even notice you standing near Anna."
"You were very engrossed you your conversation with her that you didn't even glance my way." Bella just nodded as she thought back to her encounter with Anna. "By the way, you mentioned something to Anna about winning a bet. What was that about?"
Bella laughed, "Leli and I had a bet to see which one of us would guess the most guest, but after spending all this time in here with you I am sure to lose now."
"And what is the prize?"
"If she wins, I have to dance the El Enredado with her tonight. If I win she isn't allowed to play dress up with me for whole year."
"As much as I love you and I am always on your side, but the thought of you dancing the El Enredado with Leli is just too enticing."
Bella looked abashed. "Alistair, where is your loyalty?"
He smiled, "It's to my imagination." She punched him in the arm.
"Ouch! Just kidding. You should be ahead of her. She walked right by me earlier and didn't even give me a second glance."
"Well, since she dressed me tonight she knows what I look like and if she figured out who Anna is then we are tied."
Alistair thought for a moment and said, "Don't forget to write yourself down on your chalk board."
Ella smiled. "Thank you, Alistair. I completely overlooked yourself."
"A man would have to be blind to overlook you my Love."
"Alistair, speaking of Anna, I heard about your reaction when I collapsed. I hope that she isn't to upset with you or me."
"We really haven't had a chance to talk about it since we had to finalize all the last minute details for tonight, but I don't see why she would be upset."
"Alistair, you were holding another woman in your arms crying out her name in front of half of Denerim. She's your wife. You don't think that she might be a little embarrassed maybe even a little angry."
Alistair thought about it for a moment and then shook his head, "No…no..no she knows. I have been honest with her from the very beginning that you were the closest person that I had to family and that you would always be in my life."
Bella raised her hand to his check and rested it there, "Alistair, love, it's one thing to know that it's; another thing to see your husband's raw emotions on display for everyone to see. You owe her an apology and you need to make sure that she isn't embarrassed or angry. You need her to remain loyal to you. She is your biggest advocate with the Landsmeet."
"Your right, I will speak with her later on tonight about this. The last thing I want to do is upset her, but I don't want to talk or think about her right now."
He ran his hand down the side of her check to the nape of her neck and let his hand rest there. He looked at her for the longest moment memorizing every line on her face before he drew her in one more time for long, deep kiss. His mouth pressed down on hers filled not with just desire, but there was desperation in this kiss that wasn't there before. His tongue ravaged hers as he drew out a quiet whimper from Bella and Alistair muffled her cry by deepening the kiss causing her head to spiral out of control with such a strong yearning to take him right here with all of Ferelden's nobility just a few feet away. She pressed her hips against his and he moaned into her lips, and then he broke away her. "I must go while I still have the willpower to walk away from you," and he turned quickly and stepped out of the alcove into the ballroom. Bella leaned against the wall as she tried to catch her breath and clear her head before she slipped back out into the crowd.
It had been an hour since all of the chalkboards had been turned in so that the numbers could be totaled. Out of the two hundred guests that were there Bella turned in her list with 158 guests names including all three of the 10 point guest names even if she didn't win the overall game she knew that she had to have Leli beat. Bella just knew more of these people then she did.
Alistair and Anna finally made their way up to dais to announce the winners. At the same time both the King and Queen removed their masks and a large cheer went up from the crowd. "Before I announce the winners I want to thank everyone for coming this evening. I hope that it was an enjoyable night for all." Another loud applause came from the crowd. "Glad to hear it. Well, I don't want to make you want any longer. This evening we had 200 hundred guests that were worth 1 point each. The Queen, the Hero of Ferelden and myself were an additional 10 points if guessed correctly for a total of 230 possible points. The third place prize goes to Bann Teagan. Teagan had180 points for individual guesses and 10 points for correctly guessing my identity for a total of 190 points. Teagan please step forward."
Damn, Bella thought, if I hadn't spent all that time kissing the King I could have bet that score.
Teagan made his way through the crowd and bowed to the royal couple. Anna walked forward, "Teagan congratulations," and presented him with a small silver box that contained a beautiful ruby.
Anna returned to her husband's side as he continued, "The second place prize goes to Ser Perth with 175 points for individual guesses and 20 additional points for correctly guessing both mine and the Queen identities. Ser Perth please come forward."
Ser Perth stepped up to Anna and bowed, "Congratulations, Ser Perth," and presented him with a slightly larger wooden box that had elegant cravings on it. The box contained a ruby and a emerald in it.
"Finally, the winner of the Masquerade Ball is…. No surprise here I suppose is Zevran Arainai. Zevran had 190 individual points and he correctly guessed the identities of the Queen, the Hero of Ferelden and myself for a total of 220 points. Zevran please come forward." Cheater, Bella thought.
Zevran stepped up to the dais and bowed before Anna, "Congratulations, Zevran," and she presented him with ornate jeweled box that contained a ruby, a emerald and a diamond.
"Now the last boon that we offer this evening goes to the guest that received the least amount of correct guesses. Out of 200 guesses here this evening this mystery lady only received 6 correct guesses. Would the lovely mysterious guest with the number 78 come forward?"
As Bella began to make her way to the dais the crowd parted for her. She overheard guests say that she was an exiled princess from Orlean, or that she was a member of the Crows here on a mission. All of these made her smile. She stepped up to the dais and Alistair asked her to join him and Anna on the top step and face the crowd. "Number 78 would you please remove your mask and reveal to everyone who you are?"
Bella nodded and removed her mask. A few people gasped, but the majority of the guests still didn't know who she was so she turned from the crowd and removed the wig. Her hair fall around her face as she quickly ran her fingers through it to straighten it. She turned and faced crowd again and they immediately recognized her and a loud cheer went up and she bowed to the crowd.
Alistair turned to her and said, "Congratulations for fooling all the nobility of Ferelden." Another loud cheer went up. "Because of your successful rouse the Queen and I would like to offer you the boon of your choice."
Bella thought about it for a moment and then said, "I would like this day to be a national holiday known as National Blight Memorial Day to honor all those that gave their lives while defending Ferelden against the blight and in reorganization of this holiday all of Ferelden will take the day off from their typical work day and spend it with their family and friends to remember their fallen brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers."
For the longest moment the hall was stunned into silence and then Fergus began to clap and Leliana joined in along with Bann Teagan, Eamon, Zevran and Nathaniel and before long the entire room was clapping and cheering. Alistair smiled and shook his head; she never ceased to amaze him. She could have any boon she wanted and she chose something not for her, but for the entire nation. The cheering and clapping went on for several minutes.
Alistair gestured for the crowd to quiet down so that he could respond, "Once again, Commander Gabriella Cousland has shown us all the heart of a true hero by selecting a boon that will not benefit her, but one that will promote good will to an entire nation. Let it be know from now on this day forth that June 10 will be recognized annually as National Blight Memorial Day and that on that day all of Ferelden will take a day of rest to honor and remember all those that sacrificed their lives for their country."
The crowd erupted again with cheers and chants. After a few minutes Alistair again gestured for the crowd to quiet down. "It has also come to my attention that there was a friendly competition that took place this evening between Commander Gabriella Cousland and our own court bard, Leliana. The wager was which one of these cunning and manipulative lovely ladies would guess the most guests correctly amongst themselves. The terms of the wager was that if Gabriella lost she would have to dance the El Enredado with Leliana this evening, if she won Leliana would not be allowed to dress Gabriella up in fancy clothes for a year. Well, I am pleased to announce that the next time Gabriella visits our fair city we will still get to see her dressed in Orlais finest fashions and this evening she will demonstrate the artistic beauty of the El Enredado. Leliana with a 189 points won the wager."
The crowd cheered again. "This is turning into a very entertaining evening," Zevran said to Teagan. Teagan just grinned and nodded.
"So if Leliana would join Gabriella on the dance floor the band will begin."
Bella turned to Alistair and said, "Somehow I get the feeling this was rigged, your Majesty."
"Tisk, tisk, my dear Warden, that's any ugly accusation to make. Don't be such a poor loser."
"You'll pay for this Alistair," she said with a fixed stare, but found it difficult to suppress a grin.
"Now hurry along you know how important it is to start off on the first beat with the El Enredado." Bella glared at him as she moved to join Leliana on the floor.
As the band began to play the sultry music of El Enredado the news of the Warden's boon had begun to spread into the streets and spontaneous celebrations erupted throughout Denerim. The wine and ale flowed in the streets and in the palace hall late into the night as the celebration continued.