I wasn't paying careful attention to my shield on our way home, so when I started thinking the impending reactions of the family—particularly Tanya—Edward stopped in front of me and, naturally, I walked right into him.

"You don't have to be nervous, My Bella."

"No? I don't particularly fancy fighting with that hooker over you."

"You won't. She'll be angry. Maybe she'll try to talk me out of being with you. But she knows you're way stronger than her, love. She won't try to fight you. Now the issue is you fighting her."

"Didn't you hear anything I just said? I don't want to fight her."

"If you knew what she was thinking, you might change your mind."

"Then don't tell me."

"Then it's settled." He smiled that gorgeous crooked smile of his. "I love you and no one wil fight about it. If they do, they'll have to fight with me."

"But I thought I was the Super Bella," I whined like a child.

"Sometimes superheroes need someone to fight for them too, Bella."

I pouted. "But you're mine. So I get to scratch her eyes out for looking at you wrong. I promise then I'll let you go back and get the bartender."

He laughed. "I took care of him. Although… if I recall correctly, you were quite upset about that. Were you looking at the bartender, Bella?"

I pretended to think about it. "Well… I was somewhat hungry. Bloody Bob sounded better than Bloody Mary."

He groaned. "Good god, Bella."

"What?"

"That is a horrible joke."

"I'm sorry."

We reached the house and Alice ran out of the house screaming. "Oh Bella, I'm so glad! Yay! But my brother… he's sort of fragile. Don't hurt him, okay?"

I just stared at her dumbly. "Uh—uh, okay."

"Cool. Now that you're Edward's girlfriend, we have to take you shopping. You have to look amazing for your dates with him."

"I really don't--"

"No sister of mine ever goes on a date looking ridiculous! And that's final. Now let me see your eyes."

"Alice…"

"No, don't interrupt. I saw it, so it's going to happen."

"What's going to happen?"

"You and Tanya will argue. Then Emmett and Jasper will have to hold Tanya back…" she giggled at that. "Then Edward will take you out on a date. And I have to get your clothes and make up ready while you make that hooker leave my house. Let me see your eyes now, Bella. We won't have much time to get you gorgeous again, and I need to choose your eye shadow now so I'm not stressed over it later."

I looked up at her. She grinned. "Wow. I know just what to do."

"Aww, Alice!" whined Edward.

"What!"

"She's translating the US Constitution into French. She won't let me see what you'll look like tonight."

I stared between them. They were an odd couple. "If you say so. Can we go inside already?"

Alice grinned and led the way, asking me something about shoes. Out of habit, I tuned her out and listened to Edward's breathing instead. It was soothing.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" I looked into his liquid gold eyes.

"I love you. I know Alice gets on your nerves when she gets like this… but bear with her, love. They all have been waiting for this."

"For what?"

"Me. To fall in love."

"Oh."

"They just didn't think it'd be…"

"WHAT?!" Tanya, who had been walking out to the TV, heard their conversation and screeched.

I whirled to face her, smug. "I'm sorry, what? Did the hooker speak?"

"I AM NOT A HOOKER!"

"THEN KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN!"

Edward stood awkwardly aside as our shouting match escalated. "Um… a loose definition of the term 'man' but yes, Tanya, it's true. I love Bella."

"But you were supposed to love me," she sniffed pathetically.

I snorted. "According to who? You? How old are you? A hundred, maybe fifty? Before you got obsessed with Edward, how many other people did you sleep with?"

"You Bitch!"

"Hmm… I'm guessing… four or five? Maybe eight at best." I clicked my tongue in disgust. "I guess you're not even that great at being a hooker, then, because they get that many people in a day."

Tanya lunged at me then, fury making her eyes dark as night. I dodged her. I wanted to inflict the pain on her that she did on me. I didn't want to kill her. I wanted her to want to die.

"Guess what I heard? I heard that You're the orphan girl. That your mom was stupid enough to think she could go behind those Italian bastards back and they burned her ass."

She flinched.

"You told me all those things because you were jealous. You were jealous because you're the burden around here, because no one wants you around, because you're the disgraceful whore, and now, to top it off," I went from furious and hurt to smug, "I have your man."

This time she didn't miss. She had me on the ground in an instant. Just as Alice predicted, Emmett and Jasper had to haul her off me. Edward pulled me aside to calm me down.

"HE'S MINE!" she screamed as they dragged her away, "YOU'RE A WHORE! YOU'LL ALWAYS BE JUST HIS WHORE!"

"You're wrong," I told her calmly. "Edward doesn't fancy whores. Couldn't you tell?"

"Bitch!"

"Buh-Bye." I waved at her sarcastically as Emmet and Jasper shut the door on her.

Edward sighed. "Should I be happy or upset?"

"Why would you be upset?"

"Because, Bella. I didn't tell you those things about her so you could hurt her. It's about time someone put her in her place, but honestly, Bella?"

I shrugged. "Hey, sometimes the truth hurts. Besides, whose side are you on?"

"The side where we forget about this because we want to make it at eight-thirty and it's seven forty-five."

"Agreed," chimed Alice. "Let's get started on you, dearest sister." She turned back to glare at Edward. "And make up your mind so I know what to make her wear."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Okay, Super Bella. Movie first, then bowling. Then if you want, we can hit a club."

"Okay. It's not like I'll be tired." As long as I can hit on the bartender, I added in my head. I had let my shield down. I knew he heard.

He chuckled. "Nope, not allowed. I don't like sharing my Super Bella. Especially when the lowly, unsuspecting civilian happens to be edible." He said the last part with a pointed look at me.

"What'd I do?" I asked him, widening my eyes slightly in a gesture of innocence.

"Nothing," he grumbled, looking back at the road.

I pouted. "Edward, you know I love you, don't you?" I moved very close to him; he could feel my breath on his neck and his breath hitched. He nodded, trying hard to focus on the road.

"You know I won't hit on the bartender if you get angry."

"I know, Bella."

"You know I'd rather kiss you than eat the bartender, right?"

"I would hope so."

I sat back in my seat and pouted. "If I were edible, Edward, would you eat me?"

His breath hitched again as he heard the double entendre in my voice. "Bella, let me drive," he begged.

"I would sure eat you. Mmm, and you'd be yummy too."

He gulped.

"Joke's on you."

He parked at the cinema and instantly he was on me, his lips on mine, his hands mapping every inch of skin he could reach.

Before I could react, or wrap my head around what was happening, he was holding open the passenger side door for me. I clamored out of the car, wobbling a little.

"Bella, I happen to think you're very… edible."

I swallowed hard and he smiled that amazing smile of his. "Joke's on you, girl," he said as he tapped the tip of my nose with his finger. Then he was gone.

It took a minute for me to snap out of it. "Hey! Wait up! Edward!"