Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.

A/N-So, not sure I ever mentioned that would be some angst in this story, but I am sure you all expect it, I mean, come on, it's me, right? I am pretty certain this chapter will piss a great many of you off-and I accept that. What happens in this chapter will eventually make sense…I hope!

This Peter is the AU of S&S Peter, in L&F, he and Charlotte are not married.

Huge thanks to C Me Smile for her extremely fast turn around so I could post and then run and hide.

Huge hugs to Dannie-enjoy Peter….

"**~~**"

Tempted by the Fruit of Another

Location: Abilene, TX (Temptation)

"**~~**"

Many times I've been alone

And many times I've cried
Anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried,

But still they lead me back
To the long and winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago.
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to you door. ~The Beatles

"**~~**"

"It's hotter than a two rats fucking in a wool sock out here, wanna go for a ride?" he asked as we sat on the deck in the blistering midday sun. Snorting, I glanced over at him dressed in his tee shirt and jeans.

He had certainly filled out since I had last seen him and I found myself, a bit unwillingly, admiring his body. I missed his curls, and had told him that shortly after arriving. He gave me shit about my hair being too long and I gave him shit about his being too short. Those curls had been one of my last memories of him as we had driven away that day so long ago. Still, the black of his hair was beautiful against his dark skin and his eyes.

Fuck, his eyes were amazing. Their light gray color hypnotized anyone that dared to give them more than a passing glance. Years ago I had trusted those eyes, they comforted me when I told him I was moving, they told me I would be alright, releasing the tightness that had clenched around my heart for unexplainable reasons.

Without words, they also told me how much he would miss me, and as he hugged me that day before I climbed into the car and I saw them glisten with unshed tears, I knew they were honest and truthful and loyal.

They also held a mischievous glint I had never seen in anyone since. Even Edward's beautiful green eyes never held the same impish sparkle that filled Peter's on a daily basis. It had been those very eyes that had got us into mischief more than once. Somehow, with one look and tilt of his head, he had been able to convince me to do anything from sneaking into a rated "R" movie, to skipping school on a warm spring day to go to the river.

The Major had taken the belt to me on more than one occasion as a result of Peter and his fucking gray eyes.

"Where to?" I asked, squinting at him in the sun, smirking a bit at the ironic angelic glow the sun's rays seem to give him.

Peter was anything but angelic.

Shrugging, he reached for the hem of his tee shirt and began to slide it up. Unconsciously, my heart skipped a beat at the motion, and raced as soon he pulled it over his head and tossed it onto the table next to him. He leaned back in his chair, stretching his long legs before him, crossing his booted feet. "Fuck, I dunno. The river?"

The river brought back many memories.

"Is it still there?" I asked, knowing he knew what I was referring to.

"The river?" he asked sarcastically.

"No, shithead, the rope," I shook my head, irritated at how easily he was still able to push my buttons. Bella and I had been back in town less than twenty-four hours and had been with Peter and Charlotte ever since. Charlotte had dragged Bella off to do some girl bonding and shopping. I had laughed at Bella's pleading glares at me to rescue her from hours of unnecessary shopping. Instead, I kissed her cheek and waved goodbye.

Chuckling lowly, he nodded. "Yeah, it's still there, well, at least, last I knew it was. It's been a few years since I've been out there though." He paused and looked down at his feet. "It's just not the same without you," he finally confessed.

"Aw, shucks, man, I didn't realize you missed me that much," I teased playfully, nudging his foot with my own.

"Shut the fuck up, you know what I mean," he feigned hurt. Glancing at him, my eyes quickly wandered over his sculptured chest and taut abdomen. Even though he hadn't followed his father's footsteps into the military, instead choosing a rather cushy job at the courthouse, he had not only developed a hard body, but had maintained it as well.

Confused, I turned away quickly and reminded myself to call Edward later.

When Peter stretched his arms above his head and groaned, I felt a twitch in my pants. I needed a change of scenery, and fucking fast.

"The river sounds great, let's go," I said hurriedly as I stood up, anxious to be anywhere but there. The ice cold water of the river would do my burgeoning erection some good.

"Well, okay then," he laughed. Standing up, he grabbed his tee and pulled it back on over his tanned skin.

I sighed in relief.

"**~~**"

"Are you sure this is the way?" I asked anxiously as he drove his truck through some thick brush.

"Fuck man, course, I'm sure. What's got your panties in a bunch?" he knitted his brows, looking at me.

You don't want to know.

"Nothing," I lied, "Just eager to cool off." Which was the truth.

"Well, hold your horses, we'll be there in a minute. It's been awhile, need to clear the path again."

Finally, he slowed the truck and stopped. "We got to walk from here," he said as he turned the truck off and opened his door. We had grabbed swim shorts before we left, but hadn't taken the time to change. Side by side we walked, pushing thicket and small branches out of way as we made our way along the formally well-worn path.

"Been a long time since anyone's been down here, huh? I thought for sure the other kids would find it," I commented.

"Me too, but guess it stayed our dirty little secret," he mused, winking at me. Scarlet painted my cheeks and I looked away.

He remembered.

I wasn't sure he would, it had been so long ago. Actually, I wasn't sure it was something he wanted to remember. However, it was one that I had recalled often, especially late nights in my room shortly after we had moved. Sleep often eluded me those first few months.

New town, new school and one friend.

Edward.

Confused, I had lain in my bed missing Texas and Petey more than I had thought possible. My mother had limited our phone calls in the hopes of me making new friends, and all I had wanted was to hear his velvet southern drawl. When we did get the chance to talk, the whispers reassured me, confiding our secrets to each other just as if we were sleeping in the bunks in his bedroom. Over the years, we had kept in close contact, although the topic of our phone calls changed, the meaning behind them never did.

I missed him and he missed me.

It was part of what had driven me back to Texas to begin with, the desire to say a proper goodbye to him. We had been torn apart so quickly, our lives turned upside down by circumstances beyond our control that had left us barren of anything but sadness.

Our steps fell in time with each other as we followed the footpath long ago grown over by long grass and brush. We fell into a few minutes of silence before we entered the clearing and saw the river flowing wide and calmly before us. There were parts further downstream that were more whitewater, but we both preferred the quieter part, where we could enjoy floating around without the fear of being swept away.

"Here we are," Peter sighed, looking up and down the river. "Hasn't changed much, huh?"

I shook my head as I began to pull off my boots. "Not really."

Keeping my eyes averted while Peter pulled off his tee shirt again, I slid my own over my head and tossed in a small boulder. I heard his zipper being lowered and felt my heart pound in my chest, the feeling stealing my breath with ghostly touches. Slowly and methodically, I undid my own jeans and lowered them.

The whistle caught my attention. "Wooee, well, Jasper sure did grow up, didn't you? And I thought Charlotte filled out nicely, but damn boy, she's got nothing on you," he teased. He had always given me a hard time about my height, I had always been a bit too tall and lean, but after years of Esme's cooking, I had filled out, gaining muscle from workouts and my constant running. Shyly, I cast my eyes down as I felt the heat cover my cheeks, thankful the tanned skin wouldn't show the embarrassment I felt.

The last one that had seen me in this few clothes had been-

"So, tell me about Edward, Jasper, who is the guy that took my place?" Stunned by his question, I looked up at him. He had pulled his jeans off and stood before me completely naked.

He had gone commando.

And was more beautiful than I had remembered.

The body of the fourteen year old awkward boy had been transformed into that of a well-toned man. Not only was his stomach more defined than I had first thought, but the 'v' leading to his hips begged for me to drag my tongue along its deep gouge. His chest, already shiny with sweat, was lean and firm and ….my eyes traveled quickly south.

Limp and heavy, his cock hung nestled in black curls and I swear it twitched when I licked my bottom lip. Forcing my eyes away, they continued down his thick legs dusted with dark hair. Images flashed through my mind of those legs straining to hold himself in position as he thrust into…

"Jasper?" His fingers snapped. Mortified at being caught, and my obvious lack of self control, I blinked a few times before looking back up at his face where I practically drooled at the strong unshaven jaw and high cheekbones. Forcing my eyes to his, I saw the mischievous haze I that had gotten me into so much trouble as a boy and knew that that day would be no different.

I was going to be in trouble.

And I wasn't sure what I was going to do about it.

"Aren't you changing?" I asked hopefully, motioning to his trunks on the ground.

"Nah, fuck it, we used skinny dip all the time. You don't mind do you?"

Fuck, no.

"I don't give a shit," I pretended with a casual air and reached for my own trunks to pull on. As I hooked my fingers in the elastic of my briefs, I felt the weight of his stare on me and I glanced up. "What?"

"Well, I figured if I was going au naturale, you would too," he shrugged before spreading the towel he had brought on the ground. "Ready?"

Nodding, I slowly slid down my briefs, wiling my cock to remain in its semi-soft state. With a few quick strides, he reached the edge of the water and I heard a splash as his body made contact with the icy river. Following him, I almost dove into the water, submersing myself before coming up and slicking my hair back off my head. The effect of the water on my body was immediate, the shock of it calming my overactive libido.

That was until Peter rose from the water next to me, shaking his head, spraying water everywhere. My eyes watched the water run down his body and stopped at his cock as it floated near the top of the water. It wasn't my imagination, it had lengthened.

He had watched me run into the river as my swimming trunks sat on the dry ground on the shore.

"So you never answered my question?" He lowered himself into the water again and my heart began to resume a normal rhythm. Raising an eyebrow at him, I leaned back and floated a bit. "Edward, tell me about him."

Where do I begin?

He was everything.

"Well, we met in biology, he was my lab partner. My asshole of a teacher made me stand up and introduce myself, and my nerves got me and I kind of stuttered."

"You never did like speaking in public," he chuckled.

"Hate it, and being the new kid, even worse. Anyway, on my way to lunch, some kids decided to give me shit about my accent, and Edward came up behind them and defended me. We've been…friends every since."

Lovers.

"Friends?" he questioned, and I nodded slowly, unsure of what he was getting at. "Tell me more, what's he like?"

He's perfect.

Laughing, I began,"He had a nice stash of porn mags under his bed. And one day his mom found them when she was cleaning, and gave them to his dad. His dad called us into his office and gave us the speech on respecting women, and keeping our hands off Bella. I was so fucking embarrassed, but Edward? He took it all in stride, like he didn't have a care in the world. After, I was all concerned we had lost our entertainment, but Edward had been prepared and had hidden some under his dresser too."

"Sounds like a smart guy," Peter smiled.

"He is, very. Med school is going to be tough, but I have no doubt he can make it through."

"A doctor…impressive. That's why he couldn't come, right? Something about a hospital?"

Sadly, I nodded. "An internship too good to pass up at his dad's hospital. It's too bad though, you two would have gotten along perfectly."

"I'm glad someone's got your back up there, God knows you need it. Keep your ass out of trouble."

Scoffing, I dunked my head under the water. "Yeah, I seem to recall you getting me into trouble, not out of it. "

"Touche'," he laughed. "Does Edward have a girlfriend?"

I felt the heat in my cheeks and splashed water on my face. "Um, no. He and Bella…well, they are close, but not in a relationship."

"Fuck buddies?"

"Jesus, Peter, do you have to be so crude?" I glared at him and he just shrugged. "No. Well…once, a long time ago, but not since then. Edward's too busy."

"Too busy to fuck? No such thing," he debated. "A guy always makes time to get off," he surmised.

Biting my lip, I debated on telling him that not only did Edward get off but it was usually with me. In our bed as our hands and mouths encouraged lust and desire and cries of release as we came.

"Someone's got a man crush," he chuckled, staring at me.

"Shut the fuck up," I mumbled before slapping the water, spraying droplets at him.

Wiping the water from his face, he asked, "Want to head downstream a bit?" I nodded, thankful the conversation had taken another turn and followed him to the middle of the river where we began to swim with the current, his long limbs easily keeping up with me. Each time my head came out of the water, I forced my eyes away from his pale ass as it almost sparkled in the sunlight. Reaching the whitewater, we turned and headed back upstream, not stopping until we reached the small cliff where the rope was. Peter made his way over to the edge of the water and I stared as he gradually walked out and onto the shore. His ass was even more perfect out of the water, alabaster skin over deliciously curved muscle. Swallowing hard, I felt my cock begin to harden at the sight. He glanced at me over his shoulder "Coming?"

Not yet.

"I'll just watch for now, make sure you don't kill yourself," I answered as he climbed up the ledge to the top. Facing me, he grabbed the rope that hung out over the water from the thick limb of a tree. "Make sure it can hold you, you're bigger now," I yelled up to him as he tugged on the rope to test its strength.

"Aw, how sweet, worried about my safety," he called back down to me. Kneeling in the water, I watched as he slowly made his way to edge to estimate where he wanted to land, and then he backed up. With a wink to me, he burst into a run and holding onto the rope, leapt off the cliff with a yell and swung out over the water before releasing it exactly where he wanted to and falling feet first into the river. Laughing at his antics, I waited for him to emerge, my eyes scanning the top of water as it ripped out from where he had entered. Long seconds passed and he had not broken through yet. Panicking, I quickly looked around the shoreline and further out from his entry point. He should have come up by then, the water was deep there, but not deep enough for it to have taken so long to swim back up the top.

"Peter!" I yelled out, standing up to get a better view. "Peter!" I began to make my way toward what was left of his wake.

"Yes?" his cool breath washed over my ear, sending an exciting chill down my spine. I should have been pissed at his worrying me, but all I could concentrate on was his hands running down my arms as his lips met the back of my neck in a tender, hesitant kiss. The pounding of my heart had begun when he had come up behind me continued for an entirely different reason. Lightheadedness overcame me as his nails dragged up and down my arm. When I didn't pull away, he gently let his hands explore my chest, pressing my back tightly to him as his fingertips traced and teased my nipples. Constant shivers ran through my body, and they had nothing to do with the chilly water I was standing in and everything to do with the familiar hands intimately touching me.

It had been so long since I had felt those hands explore my body.

It was the summer before I had moved, we were enjoying the lazy, hazy days together at either the tree house or the river when the heat got to be too much. After a pick-up game of baseball, we had made our way to the river on our bikes to cool off. Not having suits with us, we thought nothing of stripping down naked and jumping into the water from the rope. We had splashed and swam for an hour before finally making our way to the shore to collapse on the brown grass. Laying our backs, the sun drying us while the grass tickled our skin, we talked about a girl named Charlotte that Peter had been eyeing around town. Sighing, Peter daydreamed about her young curves. As he spoke of touching her, I imagined replacing her with myself. Having no control over my body's reactions to his story and my imagination, I was surprised when I felt myself almost fully erect. I opened my eyes and found his closed, he hadn't seen my erection. Relieved, I began to roll over onto my stomach in hopes of hiding it until it went away. As I turned away from him, I felt his cool hand on my hip, stilling my movement.

"Don't," he murmured quietly as he pulled me onto my back again. As I watched his lips near mine, I felt his fingers thread through my curls until they wrapped around my cock. Gasping, I sucked in his breath as his face hovered over me.

"Don't be scared," he whispered before his lips descended onto mine. Cool and soft and full, they pressed against mine in gentle curious brushes before I felt his warm tongue trace along my top lip. Unsure what to do, I let my body's instincts take over and parted my lips. I hadn't even kissed a girl yet, and there I was with my cock in my best friend's hand. When I felt his tongue against mine, my entire body tensed at the wave of pleasure that hit me. His hand remained still, but tightly wrapped around me, as I tilted my head and deepened the kiss. Wanting more of him, I weaved my hands into his black curls and tugged on them, trying to tell him to touch me, to do…anything.

"Is this okay?" he asked, pulling away from my mouth to look into my eyes. If he was looking for uncertainty, he found it, but I knew there was nothing I wanted more at that moment, I just didn't know why I wanted it. Nodding, I pulled him back to me for another kiss. Releasing his hair with one hand, I reached down to his hand on my cock and pumped once. Taking the hint, he began slow strokes up and down. Instantly, my hips bucked up off the ground and into his small embrace. No longer able to concentrate on kissing him, I left my mouth open as his tongue continued to sweep inside and twist with mine before he too began to just pant into my mouth. I vaguely felt his hips rubbing against my thigh as he sought friction for his own aching erection. Somewhere in the depths of my mind, I thought I should touch him, return the rapture he was granting me, but all my thoughts focused on his hand on my cock, his mouth on mine as he continued to stroke me. Even though his touch lacked rhythm, and my hips met his hand inconsistently, I had never felt anything more exciting. I had explored my own body a few times, stroking myself late at night in the privacy of my room, but nothing I had ever done, or imagined, compared to his hands on me. I felt the still unfamiliar warmth begin to spread through my abdomen as my balls started to tighten.

"Does it feel good?" he asked as his tongue traced around my nipple.

I replied in a shaky voice," Y…e…s…"

"Are you close?" he asked, his forehead resting on my shoulder as his cock rubbed against my body and I felt his precum damp on my skin. Unable to speak, I nodded, my eyes clenched as all I focused on was his hand's movement over my pulsing cock. "Me too," he gasped, "Come with me, Jasper."

I cried out, my muscles contracting so much they lifted my shoulders and ass off the ground as my hips thrust up and my cock erupted wet and sticky over his hand and my stomach. Throbbing as he continued to stroke me, I realized he had lifted his head and was watching me come, watching his hand milk the last of orgasm from me. I loosened my hands in his hair and pulled his mouth back to mine, my tongue entering his parted lips. Tugging on his arms with my hands, he released my cock and positioned himself over me, rubbing his cock along my softening one, spreading my climax over us with each roll of his hips. Overcome, he pulled away from our kiss, and placed his forehead on my chest, his breath coming in heavy pants as his hips sped up uncontrollably. Not sure what to do, I let one of my hands travel down his back to his ass, squeezing it as he grunted and pushed into me one last time before I felt him shoot hot and thick between us, his cock pulsing with each wave of his orgasm. Finally, he collapsed, rolling to my side, and laid his head on my chest as he gradually caught his breath. Remnants of my orgasm still sparked in me as we drifted into a light sleep only to wake up a few hours later when the sun sat low in the sky.

We never spoke out loud of that day, and while we shared knowing glances, and even though every time we went to the river after that, my heart raced with memory and anticipation, we never touched each other like that again.

Two months later, I watched him try not to cry as I pulled away, leaving our potential undiscovered.

Until today.

Behind me he stood, and my head lolled back onto his shoulder as I leaned my weight against him, letting him partially support me. Our bodies had come a long way since that summer. Not only had peter's muscles developed, but as I felt his hard cock against my ass, I realized he had filled out in other areas as well. His hand snaked around to my growing erection and he grasped it tightly in his long fingers.

"Remember this?" he mumbled against my wet skin as his lips traveled over my shoulders. Like that day years ago, I could only nod my reply, unable to focus on anything but my cock in his hand. "Why don't we go to the shore," he suggested, stepping back from me, he took my hand and led me to the grass where our towels were spread. Silently, I took my position and lay on my back while Peter settled next to me, resting on an elbow.

"Is this okay," he asked the same words as before as his lips began kissing my jaw, traveling down to my neck. Arching off the ground, I angled my head go give him more access as I felt his fingers brush the underside of my cock before his strong hand embraced it again.

"Yes," I finally answered his question, my hand grazed up the side of his body while he began to slowly stroke me. Against my hip, I felt his hardness, the slit weeping with clear fluid as he ground into me. Weaving my fingers through his hair, I fisted what I could, missing the day when he had had curls long enough to twist my fingers around. With one hand in his hair to keep his lips to my body, I let my other squeeze between us. I smiled in satisfaction when I felt him jump at the first touch of my fingertips against the head of his cock.

"Fuck," he murmured, grinding into my hand as I did my best to wrap my fingers around him. His tongue lapped at my nipple before his teeth bit it, and I cried out. "Like that?" Unable to answer, I gripped him tighter and awkwardly began to pump his cock. "Jesus fucking Christ," he gasped.

What goes around comes around.

Lifting his head, he looked at me. "How about we get more comfortable?" Confused, I nodded, wondering what he had in mind. Releasing me, he climbed over me and straddled my hips, his hand returning to my cock to resume his stroking. His weight felt pleasant and warm, the inside of his thighs soft against my hips as he began to rock them back and forth. His gray eyes, having lost their mischievous glint, were filled with a more familiar look of lust.

Biting my lip, I tentatively reached out to his cock, my thumb tracing the ridge of his head before spreading the fluid over him and watching it shine in the sunlight. He closed his eyes and lulled his head back. Curious, I wrapped my fingers around him and began to stroke him. More skilled than I had been at fourteen, I timed my strokes with the movement of his hips, gauging his reaction.

Moaning, he arched his back, his right hand stroking me quickly. With his weight holding me down it was difficult, but my hips wantonly bucked up into him as I writhed below him. My eyes traveled over every inch of his body, the water long dry, sweat had started to gather as he worked our bodies. Wide shoulders, long arms, thick chest, trim waist, the deep 'v' leading to his hips. Finally, I dared to look at us.

His hand on me, the veins moving with each pump was undeniably hot. I took my other hand off his thigh, where it had been resting, and reached beneath his cock to his balls. The skin was hot, his scent musky, as I took them into my palm and rolled them. He practically purred as I touched him, his chest vibrating with the deep sound of bliss.

Watching our hands work each other quickly brought me close to the edge, the teasing of his touch in the water, the verbal flirting, seeing him shirtless at the house had all contributed to me being ready to explode as soon as his hand firmly grabbed me. I felt my cock pulse, aching for a release that, at that moment, only he could bring me.

"More," I groaned,"please, more. Close." The words were short as they escaped me in short heaving breaths.

"Look at me," he demanded. Pulling my eyes from our cocks, I looked up at his face, flush with excitement. "Watch me while you come." Nodding, I licked my lips and kept my eyes on his steel gray eyes.

I wanted to kiss him again. Desperate, I let go of his balls and slid a hand up to his chest, vainly trying to reach his neck to pull him down me. Realizing what I was doing, he leaned forward, and while keeping the strokes, put one hand on the ground by my shoulder and placed his lips against mine.

Not even bothering to pretend I didn't want him, my mouth was already opened, welcoming his velvet tongue, sucking it as he moaned into our kiss. When his weight lifted off mine, I felt my hips thrusting up into him, my cock seeking out his hand while it really wanted the tight hold of his ass.

Pulling away from my mouth, his placed his forehead to mine. "Watch me, Jasper," he reminded me. Opening my eyes, I looked into his darkening ones. "That's it, watch me, beautiful."

With a loud grunt, I came hard, my hips bucking up, my cock jerking as cum erupted from it in long bursts. I felt warmth hit my chest as it gathered thick and milky. His hand never stopped, encouraging every last drop from my aching cock even has it began to gradually soften, his stroking continued over the ultra-sensitive flesh.

My eyes had never left his.

For the second time in my life, Peter had brought me to an incredible orgasm.

As my body trembled, I realized my hand was gripping his cock so tight it must have been painful. Lost in my own climax, I had stopped stroking him, but his hips had remained moving into my vise-like hold.

"Please," he begged. Resuming my rhythm, I saw a twinkle in his eye and felt his tongue lick along my top lip. I darted mine out to meet his, and between us they mingled as I stroked him. "Fuck, Jasper, that feels so fucking good."

"Do you remember, Peter?" I don't know why I chose that moment to ask, but I had to know. Did he think about that day, did he remember as fondly as I had?

"Always, Jasper."

Two words brought me back to Edward. It was always Edward, and it would always be Edward.

My heart clenched at his words, and I almost stopped but I felt he was close. His raspy breath, the shivering of his body as it tensed, readying for his orgasm. Seconds later, he forcefully thrust down into me and groaned long and hard as he came on me, his heated cum landed on my stomach and ran down my hand, slickening my hold on him.

With a sigh, he slipped from my hand and rolled to my side, once again, taking his position and laying his head on my chest. Instinctively, my fingers when to his hair, soothingly running through the close cut locks as his body slowly came down from his high. One of his arms lay across my waist, and I was sure it was in some cum, but he didn't seem to care, his body was sated as he kissed my sweaty skin.

I should have felt guilt, I should have felt shame for the act I had just done.

Yet I didn't.

It was Peter.

He had been my first, and while Edward was heavy in my heart, Peter held a portion of it as well, and always would. My relationship with Peter was different than Edward. After years of being gone, I had returned to his open arms, and we had fallen back into our routine as if I had never even left. There was a comfort there that soothed me, a comfort I had returned seeking.

"I miss your curls," I admitted sadly. He raised his head and looked at me, and I saw his eyes had begun to lighten again.

"They'll grow back, it's just easier for work this way," he explained before placing his head back on my chest. His voice was softer, a different tone than he usually had, one I felt he had only reserved for me alone.

"Can I ask you something?" I knew he would say yes, he would tell me anything.

"Course," he replied simply, as if there had been a doubt.

"I thought you and Charlotte…." I trailed off, not sure how to proceed. I felt him chuckle against my body.

"No, no. I mean, we live together and are best friends, but…well, we tried it a few times."

"What?"

"Dating, sex…everything. It was nice but it lacked something, and it took me awhile to realize that something was a dick." I couldn't help but laugh. "Though," he began thoughtfully, and I waited until he was ready to continue. "I can honestly say, I love her like no other. I would do anything for her…except maybe the sex thing again."

With a sigh, he lifted his head and rested his chin on my chest. "We've even talked about getting married. She wants children someday, and I don't like the thought of her being with someone else. It hurts me to think of her with another guy, even though we aren't like that. And if I didn't love her romantically, why would that hurt, ya know? I just…I don't know." He released a long breath and put a hand over my heart, making circles with his thumb. "I know I need her in my life in some way,"

Shifting his weight, he leaned over me more and brushed his lips against mine. While it made my heart race, I didn't respond, and he pulled back, conflicted.

"I thought you were…."

"I don't know, Peter, I don't know what I am but I know I can't do this with you right now." I had never felt more confused than I did right then. His touch ignited something in me that only one other had been able to do, and I didn't know what that meant. With Edward, I wasn't scared, there was a quality to what we did, an underlying current that while excited me, also calmed me and assured me that what we were doing was alright. With Peter, that underlying current wasn't calming, it was…intoxicating, dizzying, and addicting.

And I fucking wanted more and more.

His was a touch I had yearned for, that awakened a long sleeping desire. It was with Peter that I realized it wasn't only Edward that could conduct my body like a skilled musician.

But it was Edward that conducted my heart.

I felt Peter's dry fingers on my chin as he turned my face toward him.

"Is there…" I nodded before he finished, and squeezed my eyes shut to avoid the look of hate that I was sure to find in Peter's brilliant eyes. "Edward," he sighed, releasing my chin. "It's not just a crush, is it?"

Shaking my head every so slightly, I whispered, "I can't do this to him."

"Do you love him?" he asked with hurt in his voice.

Yes, yes, yes.

It was a question I had asked myself many times, possibly hundreds. It was question that was answered every time he looked at me, every time he smiled, every time we touched. I had probably been in love with Edward for years, only it had grown and developed from the bud of friendship to the beautiful, colorful petals of full blossomed love, so gradual that it had snuck up on me. What I had once thought was just undeniable physical attraction for my best friend had become something otherworldly.

Was it love…or more? Was there more than love?

Opening my eyes, forcing myself to face him as I told him the truth, told him what was in my heart, I said in a low, confident whisper, "With everything that I am."

His smile was sad, perhaps even regretful, as he tried to lighten the mood. "Well, can't blame a guy for trying."

Offering him a small smile of my own, I wanted to express how much he meant to me, that he wasn't just some guy or hand job by the river, that he was a huge, and important, part of my life and always would be.

"Under different circumstances, a different time," I offered. Thoughtfully, he gazed at me, taking in my words of possibility, for what good they did him.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you hadn't left?" His fingers never stopped their light grazes over my body, and I felt myself start to once again react to his touch.

"All the time. It's why I came back. I needed to say goodbye good and proper." I knew my words were no salve for the hurt he might have been feeling at that moment. Peter wasn't a player, he was loyal and devoted and gave all of himself to those he loved. His lover would be his soulmate for life.

Still, he was honest and blunt. "So this is it then, you are going to pack up and head back there in a few days and that's it." I was surprised at the sting in his voice, at how much it hurt me to hear him talk like that- those harsh, but honest, words.

"No, of course, not. Well, I mean, yes, I'm going back but…oh shit…I don't know, Peter," I said exasperated, confused…hurt.

Without warning, his lips were pressed against mine again, and I felt my cock lengthen. Unable to resist, my body buzzed and performed for him as he directed.

"Peter," I whispered to stop him, even as my hands went to his hair, searching for those long lost curls.

"Shhhh," he breathed as his lips left mine and went to my ear. "Just one more time, please…for me, Jasper…." As his voice, and request, hit me, I reached for his arm to pull him on top of me, eager to finally dip my tongue along that 'v'.

He was my long lost best friend, he would forever be a part of me. I would deny him nothing. When I felt his growing erection grinding against my own, my heart tightened even as my cock hardened.

Hours later, we had arrived back home and were watching the fashion show that Charlotte insisted on putting on for us. Peter sat next to me on the couch, his shoulder touching mine as Charlotte twirled in front of us, asking our opinions. Peter and I shared a few intimate, knowing looks when we could, and each and every time I felt the blush heat up my face. He would just smile and pat my knee.

Having him next to me was comfortable, and warm, and I loved it.

My phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket, surprised to see it was Edward. He usually called Bella's phone, not mine, except for the time we had….

"Hey," I answered quietly, standing up to head to the bedroom for some privacy. I felt Peter's eyes on me as I walked from the room and into the bedroom Bella and I were sharing. Edward didn't answer right away but I heard him.

Short gasping breaths and shaky sobs escaped him.

He was crying.

"Edward, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked urgently but as quietly as possible, not wanting anyone to overhear me.

I heard him sniff before exhaling a long breath. "Yeah, I'm okay, everything's okay, I just needed to hear your voice, love."

"Edward," I answered, "I know something is wrong, please…tell me, baby." In all the years I had known Edward, I had rarely seen him cry, he was the stronger of the two of us. I was at a loss as to what to do. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be home with him, holding him, telling him that no matter what it was, it would be okay.

Yet, I was two thousand miles away.

"Please," I whispered, "tell me." Pausing, I waited to see if he would start to talk, when he didn't, I continued pleading. "Is everyone okay? Esme, Carlise?"

"Yeah, they are okay. We're all fine. It's…." Without patience, I waited for him to gather himself. "Something happened at work."

More soft crying.

"What," I asked as I sat down on the edge of the bed in the dark room.

"Do you have a few minutes, I don't want to keep you," he asked, and I heard him get comfortable as well.

"Fuck yes, just tell me, Edward," I sighed, frustrated.

"I was at work last night, I was on until six this morning, and I was helping out in the emergency room. I've worked in a there a few times since I started. I like it, the shifts go by really fast because you're so busy."

I smiled at the thought of my Dr. Cullen in his white lab coat helping a hurt child.

"A few hours into my shift, and an ambulance comes in, they had called in an assault, and the patient's stats were critical. They arrived, and wheeled him, he was covered in blood, his arm was broken and twisted, his face was completely bashed in… and Jesus, Jasper. I swear it was you. He was tall, his feet stuck out over the edge of the gurney. His long blond hair was matted with blood, his lips were cracked and swollen, one eye was swollen, he had a huge laceration on his forehead, blood was dripping from his ear…" He sighed heavily. "My father and I began to check his vitals, and I opened his eyes…and they were… oh God, Jasper, they were the same color as yours… and they were unresponsive." He began crying heavier again.

"What does that mean? Unresponsive?"

"It meant he was more than likely brain dead."

"Oh." There was nothing more to say, it was tragic, and I could understand why Edward was shaken, given the guy apparently resembled me but I wasn't sure why it had lead to his being so upset. "Is there more?" I hedged, not wanting to push.

"Yeah." He took a deep breath. "We took him to x-ray, found a broken arm and several broken ribs. A CT scan showed severe brain damage. He wouldn't recover, he was comatose."

"Edward, I'm sorry that must have been difficult-"

He cut me off. "There's more." A pause. "The call had come from Club Café."

It had been the dance club that Edward and I had gone to.

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"He had been beaten, Jasper. A gay bashing right outside the club. Of course, there were no witnesses, no one saw shit, and the assholes that did it are still out there." The anger rose in his voice. "They had jumped him when he left, on his way home. Beat the shit out of him with a pipe of some sort."

"Jesus Christ," I murmured.

"It gets worse. So we have this twenty year old kid, still in college, his life ahead of him and he's brain dead. Someone reached his parents and they arrived a bit later. When they came into the room, I was there with Jaxen. His mother, God, she was a mess. They had been woken out of bed, she was still in her nightgown. Her hair was everywhere, her eyes were red. When she saw her son, she just dropped to the floor, wailing, crying 'No, no. no, not my baby' over and over. It was the most awful thing, Jasper. To watch this mother crawl on the floor to her son because she didn't have the strength to stand, pull herself upright by the bed and just lay her body over him, as if she could protect him. Her cries echoed in the room, she grabbed his hand, kissed it. Told him how much she loved him, that he was her baby boy, for him not to leave her."

I felt the tears begin to slide down my own cheeks. Edward continued, "His father. At first, the guy just stood there. Shocked, I assumed, as he watched his wife and son. He didn't look nearly as distraught as she did, but I figured he was just trying to be strong for his family. After some time with their son, my dad took them into a room to give them the prognosis and discussed possible organ donation."

"Oh, Jesus," I whispered as I wiped my eyes.

"Dad sits them down, tells them there is zero hope for recovery, their son is brain dead, he's on life-support. The mother, she just breaks down even more, crying, denying it, telling dad he was wrong, that Jaxen would be fine, he was a strong boy. Dad leaves them in the room to weight their options. I stayed with Jaxen, held his hand, cleaned his face up. I just sat next to him and cried, Jasper. He reminded me so much of you."

"Oh, baby," I was at a loss. There were no words that could comfort him.

"They came back in several hours later, they never signed the papers for organ donation. The mother said she couldn't bear for him to be in any more pain, to be cut open. She wanted peace for him. They decided to turn off life-support."

Tears steamed down my face as his voice lowered, and I imagined him comforting the boy when his parents said they were turning off life-support.

"They said their goodbyes, well, the mother did anyway. She kissed his forehead, told him she loved him, and she hoped he found God. The dad, he just stood there, never touched him, never said a fucking word. My dad made me stay while they turned it off, I had to watch the vitals, watch his breath gradually stop, until he flat-lined." His voice quivered. "Then my dad declared him dead, the mother sobbed over his body. My dad gives his sympathies to the family, and the father, you know what the father said, Jasper? He told dad, 'He was a faggot, he got what he deserved'."

"Oh, Edward," I sighed. There was nothing to say, I knew my words would offer him no comfort, he was suffering in a place I could only imagine. He had witnessed a horror, one he could eerily relate to. "I'm sorry." I could offer nothing more.

"Jasper," he began to sob harder. "What if, if…what if it had been you? I don't know what I would do without you." His sobs slowed to muffled cries as I wept along with him.

"I know, baby, I know," and I did. I knew exactly how he felt. Edward had become such a huge part of my life, so ingrained that even when I wasn't consciously thinking about him, he was always there with ghostly murmurs and thoughts.

My life without Edward would be no life at all.

There was not a piece of me he didn't know, not a moment I didn't want him by my side. There was nothing I wouldn't do for him, even without him asking. There was nothing I wouldn't do to keep him safe and sound.

"I'm sorry, Jasper, I didn't mean to dump all this on you, I just…just got home and had to hear you. I almost called you last night, I needed to know it wasn't you. Even if his ID said Jaxen, I needed to be sure, but I concentrated on him, telling myself I was foolish for thinking you weren't alright. It just a hit a bit too close to home, being the same club…"

The club had been nice, in a safe area, but it didn't matter. The bastards that beat him didn't care about where it was, just that he was gay. A life was taken simply because he preferred men.

Like Edward.

Like me.

I remembered being beat the truck stop. The damage they inflicted was nothing compared to that of Jaxen, and for an entirely different reason. I had never told Edward about that, and right then, I was thankful I hadn't. He certainly didn't need the worry.

"I gotta go, love, but please promise me something?"

"Anything," I replied quietly.

"Please be careful, for me, please, love," he repeated.

My heart ripped open, oozing as I gathered courage. "Edward,"

"Yeah?"

"I…I lo-"

"Don't say it. Just come home, Jasper. Tell me in person," he bargained.

I hoped I could.

"I have to go, I will see you soon," his voice sounded lighter, hopeful.

"I miss you, Edward. Please take care of yourself," I requested.

"Always, Jasper."

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading…so how much do you all hate me right now? Do I need to change my name and zip code?