I'm uploading a little early today, because I feel like it. And because this is one of my favourite chapters in the whole fic, if not my favourite. I just enjoy it so. I hope you like it too. I've been enjoying my reviews to this story. This was also one of the first parts written, and that's always fun. Also, it's (somehow appropriately) about the halfway point.

Chapter 10

xxx

Jane, Lisbon and Jo didn't end up staying too late at the bar. It may have been a rewarding day, but it had also been a tiring week.

In spite of Jo's insistence that she could walk home, Lisbon all but ordered her into the cab and saw her dropped off in front of her doorstep before directing the cabbie to their now-familiar bungalow.

She glanced at it wistfully as they approached, realizing that it was probably going to be one of the last nights she spent there. She'd be lying if she said that she didn't miss her own bed, but she'd also miss the bungalow too. It certainly had its charms.

She turned to Jane as she waited for the cabbie to give her change, wondering if he was thinking anything along the same lines she was. To her surprise, she discovered that Jane seemed almost pensive, his earlier cheer gone. Upon further consideration, Lisbon realized that Jane had been quiet for most of the second half of the evening. She frowned to herself.

She'd need to talk to him about that. Probably best to wait until they were inside though.

She glanced up at him as they walked down the front path. He caught her and sent her a small smile, placing a hand on the small of her back as he unlocked the door, ushering her inside.

The gesture had become so familiar, comforting. It reassured her somehow, and Lisbon decided that whatever was bugging Jane couldn't be that serious.

She stooped to take off her boots, handing Jane her jacket to hang up in the closet when he held out a hand. Lisbon walked into the living room and waited for Jane to follow her.

"Well," Jane said, noticing that Lisbon had settled onto the couch. He was pleased that she wasn't heading straight to bed. They really did need to have a conversation, not that he was entirely sure how to start it. "That was a nice evening," he observed lamely.

Lisbon didn't appear to find his remark lacking in originality. "It was," she agreed. "I'll miss Jo when we go back to Sacramento."

Jane recognized her comment for the opening it was, but for some reason he just couldn't take advantage of it. For the first time in a long time, he felt nervous and unsure. If he'd had any idea how she might react to any of what he wanted to say, it would be different. But he didn't have any idea how she might react.

He walked over to the couch, sitting next to her, enjoying her proximity. He laid his head back against the couch briefly. He was a fool. He had no idea what to do, and she was going to be gone in about two days.

"Jane," Lisbon asked softly. "What's wrong?"

He opened his eyes to see hers fixed on him, obviously concerned. She'd noticed something was up. Of course she'd noticed. She was Lisbon. She paid attention to him.

He swallowed. "What makes you think something's wrong?" he asked, cursing his own lack of courage. But damn it, he hadn't had a chance to figure out how to approach the problem yet.

Lisbon narrowed her eyes. He was obviously avoiding the question, never a good sign. "You've been quieter than usual," she said eventually. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Jane glanced down, noticing that she was playing with one of the couch cushions with her right hand. Without thinking, he reached over and took it in his own.

The gesture did nothing to allay Lisbon's concerns; Jane usually only grabbed her hand when something was horribly wrong. Even so, she threaded her fingers through his readily. She would always be there when he needed her. She wouldn't let him go it alone. She hoped he knew that.

"I'm mostly okay," Jane said eventually.

Surprised by the admission, Lisbon turned towards him, shifting closer. "Was it the case?" she asked. "I know it had to have been tough, even if you were able to keep it separate from Red John. The similarities... I mean... I don't know if your memories were..."

Jane shook his head. "No," he told her. "Nothing like that. I'll admit, I had my moments of frustration. And some days were worse than others. But that's always the way it is, for everyone I'd imagine. That's not the problem, and anyway, I had you."

Lisbon frowned slightly. "I didn't do anything." She hadn't, not this case anyway. He'd assured her time and again that the case wasn't bothering him whenever she asked. She certainly hadn't done anything specific to help him through, because he'd insisted there was nothing he needed help with.

"That's where you're wrong," Jane murmured. "Although, none of this relates to the case."

"Hm?" Lisbon asked, totally confused. "Jane, I don't... What are you talking about?"

Jane began toying with her fingers slightly, enjoying the feeling of her hand in his. And then it hit him, the crux of the matter. "I don't want to leave," he blurted out, giving up on finding a roundabout way of approaching the subject.

Lisbon glanced up in surprise and concern. She focussed on their joined hands for a minute. How had she not seen this coming? She should have seen this coming. It was only natural. He'd been alone for so long, of course he liked having someone around. She liked it too, if she was honest. But they would both learn to adjust once they got back to Sacramento. She would help him with that if he needed it. She wouldn't abandon him to feel lonely. With a deep breath, Lisbon looked back up and met his eyes. "Jane, I know it was probably nice for you, having a more stable home," she said softly. "But I'm sure you can find a house just as nice as this one in Sacramento, if you want to. If money's an issue, it'll give you something to save up for."

Jane shook his head almost indulgently. He squeezed her hand again, unwilling to let it go. "No, money's not... What I mean is..."

"There's always the poker tables?" Lisbon asked with a wry grin, trying to joke.

His smile widened. "Well, yes," he agreed. "But that wasn't what I meant."

Lisbon took a breath. "What then?"

Jane rubbed his thumb along the back of her hand. "I don't want you to leave."

"You want me to stay in Portland?" she asked breathlessly, knowing that wasn't what he'd meant at all.

"I don't care about the city, Lisbon," Jane said, shaking his head again. "I just want to live with you."

She froze. Jane wanted to live with her.

She tried to ignore the panic bubbling inside of her and the sudden urge to run.

What was she going to do?

She understood the desire. She'd liked living with him for a few weeks too. But it had only been a few weeks. But they couldn't just move in together permanently. That was insane. This was just another one of Jane's insane ideas. Probably one of the ones that he forgot about in under twelve hours because it had no real basis in reality. Yes, that must be it. There really was no other explanation.

Lisbon tried to ignore the suddenly intense expression in Jane's eyes when they met hers.

"Move in with me," he all but pleaded.

After a few painful seconds, her heart started beating again. Whatever he said, he was still vulnerable after Red John. She needed to remember that. She needed to be the sensible one. This was just Jane, well... being Jane. She laughed, almost hysterically. "Jane, don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not," he insisted, his eyes just as intense, just as focussed.

"People don't just move in together on a whim," she argued, still trying to be calm.

"That's not what this is," Jane countered, the realization that it was the absolute truth hitting like a lightning bolt. It may have been a bit of a sudden realization, but it wasn't a whim, not a whim at all. Lisbon was, after all, his best friend. She was the woman he compared all others to, and the person that he most enjoyed spending time with. Jane nearly groaned in frustration. Maybe he was a stupid man after all.

He'd even told her he loved her, once. It'd been years ago, but he'd said it. And he'd meant it. He still meant it. He loved her, and he... He liked when she was around better than when she wasn't.

She just fit. Living together for three weeks had proven that better than anything else ever could. He didn't want to lose her again.

Now it was Lisbon who was shaking her head insistently. "Oh no, this is a very well-thought out plan. Not impulsive at all," she said sounding a trifle panicked.

Jane couldn't say he blamed her for that. He knew his request was a little unorthodox. Taking note of the pure terror in her eyes, he took a deep breath, determined to be calm. It may have taken far longer than it should have for him to figure out what he wanted with his life, but now that he had, he was determined to (finally) be smart. "Just because something is sudden doesn't mean it's not well thought out."

"Ha," was the only answer Lisbon could manage.

Jane decided to approach the problem from a different direction. "I think our living together has worked out relatively well so far, don't you? I'm a good person to live with. I tidy. I don't leave my clothes lying around all over the floor. I can cook. I made you cookies just last week..."

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Well in that case, if there are going to be cookies involved..."

Jane's eyes brightened reflexively, "Really?"

"No!" Lisbon snapped. "Don't be absurd. I can't just move in with you. I have my condo. I've signed legal agreements. I like my neighbourhood. I can't just pick up and leave everything tomorrow."

Jane shrugged, beginning to see the funny side to this, as well as the practicalities. He realized that she wasn't going to let him move in with her this week, but nothing in her reaction indicated that he wouldn't be able to convince her in time. In the mean time, he was going to enjoy himself. "Well, if that's all that's stopping you, I can move in with you then."

Lisbon looked positively scandalized by that idea. "What?"

"I like your condo," Jane explained calmly. "There's plenty of space. I don't have that much stuff. That'll give us time to sort some things out, and if we decide we want to upgrade to a bigger place after..."

"Jane..." she said in exasperation.

And with that his expression snapped to serious. "I like living with you Lisbon," he said softly. All jokes and absurdity aside, she needed to know that. She couldn't doubt that.

His tone made her pause. "I know. And I get that you're lonely, and that things have been an adjustment..."

Jane growled, suddenly unbelievably (and probably unfairly) frustrated with her. He could understand that this was a surprise. But he resented the implication that he only wanted to move in with her because he was lonely and she just happened to be there. Without thinking, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, pleasure mixing with a kind of triumph when he realized she was a willing (albeit possibly unintentional) participant in the action.

When he finally pulled away, Lisbon just stared at him. "I'm still not moving in with you," she said eventually.

Jane laughed. Couldn't help it. She was wonderful. He smiled at her, twirling a finger through her hair, enjoying its softness as he worked to centre himself again.

"I'm not," she repeated quietly, but firmly.

"I heard you," Jane agreed, leaning in to bury his nose in her hair. She had such pretty hair. He'd never really let himself appreciate it up close before. And while it was obvious that she wasn't going to succumb to pure, impractical romantic impulse and let him move in (not that he'd really expected her to in all honesty), he had no intention of giving up on the idea. Particularly when he heard her sigh softly against his neck.

He could almost feel her trying not lean into him, "Jane..."

"Let me take you to dinner," he wheedled, slipping an arm around her and tightening it almost imperceptibly around her waist. There was a chance it would spook her, cause her to jump away in a flash, but he'd risk it. He'd risk it because he wanted to, and because it felt right, holding her. Okay, yes, the plan was also a bit crazy and impulsive, but he wasn't going to think about that right now. She was thinking about it enough for the both of them.

"Jane..." Lisbon said again.

"You already promised to let me take you out to dinner earlier, at the bar," Jane reminded her. "With my poker winnings. You're not going to break my heart now by saying no, are you?"

Lisbon's heart skittered in her chest. "Who said anything about breaking anyone's heart?" she asked nervously.

Jane grinned, placing a brief kiss to her cheek before pulling back slightly. "Excellent. I'll make a reservation."

Lisbon floundered helplessly. "That's not what I..." she started to say. "I mean..."

Jane squeezed her hand briefly, trying to reassure her. "Don't worry Lisbon," he told her. "I'm not going to make the reservation for the night we get back to Sacramento or anything. I'll give you a bit of time to get used to the idea. A couple of days at least. How's Wednesday for you?"

"Uh," Lisbon murmured. "Fine, I guess."

"Great," Jane told her. "I'll tell you more details later. We can always push it back to another day or so if something comes up."

Lisbon watched him warily. Jane was willing to bet she was in the middle of the same mental war he was, only in her case the voices telling her she was being insane were yelling, far, far louder. Still, he could see the second she caved.

"I'll only agree to this if you promise to stop talking about this ridiculous idea of us moving in together," she ordered. Jane was talking so much nonsense that she couldn't possibly be expected to enumerate it all. Most of it fell under the lunatic moving-in-together scheme anyway.

"Absolutely, dear," Jane agreed with a grin.

In spite of herself (and the panic in her brain), Lisbon grinned back. "Okay then."

After all, if Jane was going to be absurd, she had no objection to letting him buy her dinner while he was doing it. This whole idea of her moving in with him was truly insane, and at some point he'd realize it. In the meantime, she could enjoy dinner with him, just as she always had, before these crazy notions had entered his head.

And as for the kiss, well... She wasn't thinking about that. That was all there was to it.

Not thinking about it at all.

Even if (unsurprisingly) he was a really good kisser.

Jane tugged her up into a standing position, and led her towards the stairs. It was late, and they both needed to get to bed. He was by no means discouraged by her reaction. He was confident that he'd be happily ensconced in her apartment in a month. He glanced down at her, noting the stubbornness behind her smile.

Okay, maybe two.

xxx

TBC