A/N: You can thank my lack of sleep for the next few chapters, as well as all the mistakes. Btw I knew that last chapter wasn't great but damn I didn't realize it was that bad. Sorry guys, I'll try to make it more exciting for you in these next few chapters, just bare with me please. This chapter is definitely a filler, but I hope it's not as bad as the last one.
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Chapter 11
A week has gone by, and Jay and I haven't talked since that day, that is until Kim invites us both to Molly's one night. Kim, Adam, Antonio, Sylvie and I are all sitting or standing around one of the tables near the back of the bar. We talk about work, and such, and then he walks in, and goes straight to the bar. I can't keep myself from stealing glances in his direction, as he waits for his drink and eventually Herrmann hands him a beer, and he then joins us at the table. I'm sitting next to Kim, and he's standing on the other side of her. He looks at me, any time that he's not engaged in the guy's conversation, and I look away, and pretend not to notice.
"Do you want another drink?" I turn to ask Kim, and he looks over at me then, his eyes meeting mine for the first time tonight.
"Uh I'm good thanks." She answers, as she gives both of us a confused look, before turning her attention to Adam, who's just at the other side of Jay. I walk over to the bar, and wait for Herrmann to come take my order. At some point Jay comes to stand next to me.
"So I can't tell if we're mad at each other, or are we just sad, or is it that we just don't know how to get past this awkwardness?" He says leaning against the bar, and turning his head towards me.
"I'm mad, but not at you. I'm mad at myself for what I did to you, and sad."
"Erin it is what it is, we can't go back, and change what happened. I'm not mad at you, so neither should you be." He says, and I mull over his words, as he pauses briefly
"I thought we already established that we're going to try to be friends."
"Yeah, and?"
"And how are we supposed to that if we're constantly not talking to each other."
"So what do you want to do?"
"Right now, I think we should ditch this place. The game starts in like twenty minutes, we could go get take out, and some beer, and watch it at one of our places."
"Ok, we can do that, but what about...?" I say
"We'll figure it out as we go." He says with a nod.
"Alright well let's head back over there, I'll say I'm going to head home cause I'm wiped, I'll grab the food. Then in like fifteen minutes you say you're not feeling good or something. Oh and text me your address."
"Right." He says, before we walk back to the table. I do as I said; giving them my excuse, and even throwing in a yawn, before saying goodnight, and leaving. I get the food, and he sends me his address. When I get there, I get out of my car, and walk to his apartment, leaning against the door as I wait for him. About ten minutes later, he walks up. He unlocks the door, and opens it, letting me walk in first. I thought I'd be greeted with a bachelor pad, like he had when we first became partners, and started hanging out at each other's places. So it both surprises and saddens me, as I walk further into the apartment, built similarly to my own, and seeing the temporary appearance of it. The walls painted a basic eggshell, with nothing hung on them. A couch similar to the one from his old apartment sits in the middle of the room, facing the TV which is set on a plain black entertainment by itself. He still has boxes sitting off to the side, and even down the hall towards his room. There's no personal touch like the red and white motorcycle picture that use to hang above his bed, or even the horseshoe that was above his apartment door. I realize this isn't his old place, but there's nothing here that makes this new place his. His voice breaks me from my thoughts
"Are you just going to stand there the whole time or are you going to come, sit down, and eat?" He asks, I don't answer, I just walk to the couch, and sit down on the other end of it. I pick up one of the take out containers, and scoop some of the fried rice onto one of the plates he brought in from the kitchen.
"I'm so hungry." I say, as I pick up one of the egg rolls
"You're always hungry." He replies, I roll my eyes at him before turning my attention to the game that he turned on. We finish eating, and we take all of the take out containers, and our plates to the trash, during a commercial before settling back down. Still sitting on opposite ends of the couch, I find myself wanting to go cuddle up to his side, as he stretches his arm out on the back of the couch. I can see his muscles flex through the red shirt he's wearing, and it makes it even more tempting, but I think better of it, and lean into arm of the couch. I fall asleep sometime during the bottom of the fifth, and only wake hours later, to a crash coming from the kitchen. I open my eyes at the loud sound, but immediately shut them again, temporary blinded by the early morning sun shining through the windows. I rub my eyes before opening them again, and I get up, pushing the blanket off me, that I assume he put on me last night, and I make my way to the kitchen.
"Stop." He yells, and I do as he says looking down at the ground just in front of me. He's squatting using a little brush to sweep the glass shards of what I assume used to be a mug into a dust pan, once he's got all the smaller pieces, he picks up a large piece with his hand
"Fuck." He says, immediately walking over to the sink. I pick up the dust pan, and pour the shards into one of the take out containers sticking out of the top of the trash can, and closing the top, so the glass doesn't rip the bag. Once I complete that, I walk over to the sink, and stand next to him
"Let me see." I say to him, and he turns off the water, and places his hand in mine. I look over the cut, it's a nice slice, but nothing too serious.
"I don't think you're going to need stitches, but you should get it looked at just in case. Why would you pick up that piece with your hand?" I ask him sternly
"I don't know." He says, shrugging his shoulders
"Well here, hold this to it. I'll drive you to the hospital, just let me get my shoes on."
"No need, I'll just text my brother, he lives in one of the apartments upstairs."
"Oh well I should get going then, but you should text him like now."
"No you shouldn't go anywhere, at least not yet, I made breakfast." He says, with one of his signature smirks that makes my knees weak, as he nods in the direction of the food already on plates behind us and I look at the food, and wonder how I didn't notice the smell of the pancakes, and bacon.
"Jay that's really sweet, but your brother is going to be pissed when he sees me here."
"I don't care how pissed he gets, besides nothing happened. Now can you text him from my phone, and ask him to come down here with his medical stuff."
"Alright." I say grabbing his phone off the counter, and texting Will. It only takes about five minutes before we hear a knock on the door. Jay walks over, and opens it letting his brother in. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees me, and I look down nervously, trying to avoid his gaze.
"What is she doing here Jay?" He yells at his brother, and I flinch at the booming voice that I've never actually heard from the older Halstead
"None of your business."
"It is my business Jay, your my brother, and she completely ghosted you, and left you heartbroken."
"Will shut up." Jay says
"Now she all of a sudden turns back up after a year, and is spending the night at your apartment. How could you be so stupid Jay, I told you when you asked for mom's ring that she didn't want to be saved, but I don't think that's the case, it's that she can't be saved."
"WILL" Jay yells, as he pins his brother with one hand up against the wall, and I take the opportunity to walk to the door, and leave, but Jay releases his grip on his brother, and he grabs my bicep firmly.
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Jay's POV
"Hey, don't listen to him, he's an asshole." I say still not letting go of her arm, but she won't look at me.
"Er look at me, please?" I plead, and she reluctantly does
"I'm sorry, you know I don't feel that way."
"It's fine Jay, I get it." She says trying to blink away her tears "You have every right to hate me." She says looking at Will
"No one hates you Erin."
"I don't hate her, but I don't agree with you being with her."
"Well I guess it's a good thing I didn't ask for your permission then isn't it? It's my life Will, not yours."
"God you're really going to let her back into your life just." He says snapping his fingers "like that. I remember you saying that you could never say no to her, but I didn't think she had that much power over you. What is the sex really that good, Jay?" He yells and that's when she yanks her arm away
"I'll see you around Jay." She says before walking out of the door, and I turn to my brother, then following her.
"Erin wait." I say stepping out of my apartment.
"Please don't leave like this, he'll just be a few minutes, and then we can enjoy our breakfast. I don't want to go back to not talking to you again. Please?" I plead with her, and she turns around, tears streaming down her face, and walk closer to her wiping them away, and she nods into the palm of my hand
"Ok." She says. Hesitantly following me back into my apartment
"Ok, you can wait in my room, and I'll come get you when he leaves." I say, and she gives me a sad smile before walking to my room, and closing the door, and walk over to where my brother stands near the breakfast bar.
"Get the fuck out of my apartment." I yell at him
"What'd you expect Jay. You thought I was going to be all buddy, buddy with her. Well I'm not going to just let her come back, just to leave, and send you down that dark hole again."
"I expected you to act right, and it's funny that you even know about that Will seeing as how you were nowhere to be found when I was going down that dark hole. Now get the hell out before I throw you out." I say
"What about your hand?" He asks gesturing towards my hand wrapped in dish towel, causing me to look down at it
"I'll live." I say looking back up at him, "Now get the fuck out."
"So you're picking her over me?" he asks
"I don't think you really want me to answer that."
"Wow, all for what Jay? And how long is it going to last this time? How long before she runs again? Then what are you going to do? You pick her, and I'll go, but I'll refuse to sit by, and watch you struggle to get through it again."
"Oh was watching me struggle really that hard for you Will? Cause you seemed perfectly fine doing other things with your girl, as I kept slipping. You didn't help me that was my unit; people that aren't even my blood got me through. Not you, so don't stand here and pretend like you're trying to protect me as if you know what I went through." I say, and he looks down at his feet
"You don't have anything to say to that?..." I yell pausing briefly, and taking a deep breath. "Look I'm not saying I needed you to pick me up, or pull me out. But don't bring her down for doing what she had to, to ensure she still had a job; she thought that it was all she had left, because I made the biggest mistake of my life, and walked out on her. So before you continue to yell, and throw a fucking fit, maybe you should remember where you were, and what was more important to you at that time, because it sure as hell would been nice to have my brother there, while I dealt with shit that had nothing to do with her." I say sternly
"She's no good for you Jay, she's not the type of girl that mom had in mind for you, she's not the one." He says with his hand on the door knob.
"You're wrong again."
"Oh how so?"
"Mom would have loved her, she would have loved everything about her, she's not just the one, she's my only one, and mom would have known that."
"Yeah right." He scuffs, before he turns to leave. "Oh and Will." I say just as he's about to walk out into the hall. He turns his head to look over his shoulder.
"Just in case you didn't realize, I pick her, and I'll always pick her." I say sternly, he just nods his head, and walks out of the door, closing it behind him.
The room falls silent, and I realize that the shower is running. I don't know whether to be relieved or sad that she didn't hear the end, if not the whole conversation I just had with my brother. As I continue to think about that, I walk over to the counter, and place our food in the microwave to heat it back up. After another few minutes I hear the shower turn off, and another couple minutes go by before Erin walks into the kitchen as well, her tears have stopped, and she even gives me a sad smile.
"How good of a nurse are you?" I ask, as she walks up next to me.
"He didn't do anything for it?"
"He asked about it, but I told him I'll live."
"Jay."
"What? At least it stopped bleeding."
"You should still get it checked out."
"Yes ma'am." I say earning a little smirk from her.
We sit at the breakfast bar, and eat the food I prepared.
"So how bad did I mess things up between you and your brother by being here?"
"You didn't mess anything up Erin, we've been arguing with each other our whole lives, we'll get over it eventually." I say placing my hand on hers, and giving it a gentle squeeze. We eat the rest of our food, and talk about the part of last night's game that she slept through, and then she goes home, and I find myself wishing I had more time with her.
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A/N: Please Review.