Title: Its Always You

Summary: Right after season 5, episode 7 "IN DA CLUB" Peyton has just seen Lindsay and Lucas. And heard their engaged. She's back at her place. Lucas stops by.

Chapter: 11 - It's Not So Easy

Previously -

"I'll see you again right?"

Jenny nodded. "Yes, me and dad are leaving in a couple of days… so we'll be sure to say goodbye"

Peyton's eyes travelled towards Jake. "Jake?"

"We're leaving in a couple of days Peyton. So I guess…I'll see you when I see you."

-

"Lindsay! What's the matter?" She cried, as Lindsay stood in the door way, tears pouring down her face.

She was sobbing her eyes out and managed to whisper "We're over."

-

"I love you Peyton. You know, I always have."

Peyton's eyes locked onto his, she smiled, her heart flooding and her stomach fluttering. She wanted so badly to say it back, just spill how she felt, right now, to him, but this wasn't enough for her.

"I know Luke.." She sighed. "But this doesn't change anything right now…"

***

Her eyes flicked open and she blinked a couple of times, she was led on her left side, facing a bedside table she knew very well, her feet were hanging off the bed, and she wasn't under the duvet, her eyes moved round the room and settled on the open wardrobe, everything of any other woman was gone, all there was were his clothes. She obviously had fell asleep the night before, but she didn't leave. She shifted onto her back, and looked over to her right side. Luke was fast asleep, a feeling twisted in the bottom of her stomach as her mind forced an image of how she always used to wake up on his left side, she forced the memory away and looked at Lucas's sleeping form, his eyes were closed softly, he was breathing quietly. He looked so peaceful, so innocent. Peyton's eyes drifted to the clock. It was only 10 past 9, she quickly, shuffled out of the bed, and headed into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, and sighed.

"Oh dear…" She washed her face, and washed out her mouth, she was going to try and leave before Lucas woke up. She hurried back into his bedroom, his desk was full of overloads of paper, and pens. A rough book led neatly but the side of the messy papers. It must have been his new book. Peyton looked over her shoulder. She was very tempted to take a look, see if anything was written about her…but she wasn't going to, it wasn't her right. She shook her head and continued looking for a spare bit of paper, something that hadn't be scribbled on. She tried hard to remain quiet, with the fluttering of paper. She was shifting through the pile when something caught her eye. She extracted it from the pile, and looked at it. Her name was scribbled neatly on the lined paper, and that was it. That was the only thing. In bold, italic, writing. Her name

"What…" She whispered, flipping it over to see if anything was on the other side. She heard Lucas shift over, this startled her and she dropped the piece of paper. She quickly grabbed a piece, not caring if anything was on it, and began to write a short note. Once she had finished, she made sure Lucas was still asleep, she placed the folded piece of paper onto the pillow beside him, and put on her shoes. She couldn't even remember taking them off. However, she quickly put them on and hurried out of the door.

The sun was beaming bright, but Peyton didn't take this in, she was to busy just wanting to go home, to shower and to freshen up. She was pretty sure Brooke would be home, maybe they could have a talk. She needed one.

***

Haley carried a tray, with tea and some digestive biscuits into the living room, Lindsay was sat cross legged on the couch, her eyes red and puffy.

"Here you go." Haley said, smiling shyly, placing the cup of tea in her hand, and the tray on the table beside her.

Lindsay smiled up at her, Haley didn't expect a thank you. But Lindsay gave one anyway.

Haley sat there for a moment, watching as Lindsay sipped her tea.

"So…" Haley asked, not knowing whether or not it was the right time to pry, to see what had happened the night before. Lindsay shrugged.

"That's not worth a shrug Lindsay, what happened? I thought you guys were ok…" Haley said, looking down at the engagement ring on her finger.

"He's in love with Peyton." Lindsay said, shrugging her shoulders again, fresh salty tears returning to her eyes.

Haley looked at her. "What? Did he tell you this?"

Lindsay shook his head. "He doesn't have too. I can tell, and what's worse is, I think after last night, he can tell too." A tear fell onto hr cheek. Haley grabbed a tissue from the box that was on the table, from last night.

"Oh no! What actually happened?"

Lindsay sighed. "We got home, and he was…different you know? He wasn't talking, he was thinking far to much, and I just…I exploded and I asked him if he was marrying me because he loved me, or if he was just trying to bury his feelings for…her" She spat the last part.

Haley nodded, and urged her to go on. "And he just looked at me and said what… and I asked him again, and then I said something and he went into how he loves me and ever since the moment he asked me to marry him, he hasn't regretted it, and then I stupidly said until now, and then I said, you can't have us both Luke. You need to choose. And I think…I think he chose her." She broke down again, bringing her hands up to her face, sobbing uncontrollably into them. Haley pulled her to her and hugged her softly, brushing her hands through her hair.

"Hey, shhh. You should really talk to him…" Haley said. She felt Lindsay's head shake firmly. "No. Not now, just…don't worry about it for now…"

"How can I face him…" She sobbed, her hair sticking to her face. Haley sighed, she didn't know what to say, how could she? She knew Luke, more than anyone, she knew him the most, she knew where Lindsay was coming from, because Haley knew that deep down, Luke was in love with Peyton, he always had been, it was just hard for her to say it, because she really liked Lindsay, and wished that they could have been perfect together.

***

The water hit her tense back and she sighed, letting the feel of the hot water dripping on her skin, taking away any trance of emotion inside her, she watched as the water ran away, down the drain, hoping it would suck her in and swallow her whole. A knock on the bathroom door awoke her from her own bubble, she turned the water off and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her.

"Brooke?"

There was a quiet giggle, and then a rough voice said. "No, it's Owen."

Peyton's eyebrow cocked up and she smiled. "Bartender Owen?"

Another giggle escaped an obvious Brooke's lips.

"Yes.." Came the voice again, Peyton couldn't hide her amusement as she opened the door. Owen, looked at her up and down, a smile tugging against his lips. "So Peyton… Shower warm?"

Peyton looked from Brooke and then back to Owen. "Could have been warmer." She replied seductively, Brooke made a face, and Owen turned round and smiled down at her.

"We're joking."

Brooke lightly tapped him. "You'd better. Now. Get in there mister." He slipped passed Peyton, and closed the door softly. Peyton then took a look at Brooke. She was wearing what must have been Owen's shirt and she smiled.

"Oh Peyton…" She groaned, smiling hard.

Peyton laughed. "Come on, I'll dress, you talk!"

Brooke squealed excitedly, following Peyton up the stairs and into her room.

"It was just…mind blowing." Brooke sighed, she collapsed back onto the bed, a smile still on her face.

Peyton giggled, pulling on her t-shit. "I bet."

Brooke sighed again, propping herself up on one arm, she looked over at Peyton, a sincere look on her face.

"So where were you last night? I don't think I heard you come in…Did you have coffee with Jake?" The smile widened on her lips. "Did You…"

Peyton held up her hand to stop her.

"No, we didn't." Her face held a saddened expression.

Brooke grabbed her arm and pulled her down by the side of her. "What's wrong P Sawyer?"

Peyton sighed. "Basically… I went to coffee with Jake, he tried to kiss me."

Brooke gasped, "Did you respond?"

Peyton nodded. "Only for a second, it wasn't what I wanted, and he knew that, so we just forgot and went for coffee"

Brooke nodded. Cocking her eyebrow. "Coffee. Is that all?"

Peyton smiled. "Brooke…Mind out of the gutter please! And well, he invited me back to his…" Brooke laughed and gave a moan. Peyton slapped her. Hard.

"Ow…" She laughed.

"No, I saw Jenny."

Brooke smiled. "Oh, how is she?"

Peyton looked around. "She's different, but Jake told her about me… and well they wanted me to stay for dinner, so I said yes, and then…"

Brooke looked at her expression. "Luke?"

Peyton sighed. "He rang me, and told me he wanted to see me, I told him no, and said I wouldn't. I stayed for dinner, well half way through but then I caved Brooke!"

Brooke gave a small disappointed sigh. "You went to see him… What did he want?"

Peyton looked at her. "Him and Lindsay…she's left him. He told me he loved me…"

Brooke put her arm around Peyton. "And you said what?"

"I said I know he did, but it didn't change anything. Because it doesn't. I mean, I love him…but he can't just say it and think we can be the same."

Brooke nodded. "I know baby, just make sure he knows you're not going to go crawling when he asks… What are you going to do?" She asked. Willing to stay and listen. A voice called up the stairs. It was Owen.

Brooke looked at Peyton. "It's okay, he can wait for a second."

Peyton smiled. She shrugged. "I don't know, I think he needs to sort it out with Lindsay first. But then after…if he wants to get back together…"

Brooke rubbed her shoulder. "Will you?"

Peyton sighed. "I don't know."

Brooke nodded, "Sweetie, it's hard, but just make sure you think long and hard ok?"

Peyton smiled. "Thanks Brooke…Now Go!" She said, pushing her off the bed.

Brooke gave her a soft smile, and squealed again. Peyton loved seeing Brooke happy. It was nice. But there was a slight pang of jealousy, running through Peyton's mind, she didn't want to feel it, but she just wished, that everything could have been how it was, before Lindsay, before that night in the hotel room in L.A. When it was just Peyton and Lucas…

***

He had felt her shift from the bed, although his eyes did not open. He had heard her rustling through his endless amounts of papers on his desk, yet he still didn't make any attempt to show he was awake. He also was wondering, whether or not she found the piece of paper, hiding beneath some others, that only had her name spelt out. But by hearing her soft whisper, he imagined she did. He couldn't remember the last time he had fallen asleep with Peyton next to him, but waking up to find her gone, was something he didn't like. He had folded open her note, and read it over and over. The words were becoming a monologue in his head, he traced over her perfect handwriting, time after time. He wasn't going to be able to let her go this time. But he didn't want that. He was going to have to make her realise, that he loved her, more than anything in his world. She was meant for him. She was always meant for him. How could she think, she wasn't?

His eyes caught the shadow of someone standing at the front door. He cocked an eyebrow, because nobody knocked. He lifted himself off the bed, and opened the door softly.

"Lucas."

Her eyes were red raw, puffy yet she was still beautiful. But that didn't compare to anything… especially not her.

"Lindsay…" He breathed out, surprised at the emotion in his voice. He couldn't look at her. He felt so guilty, for everything he had done to her. He was such an idiot. No wonder Peyton couldn't forgive him. At least, for now. His eyes locked onto Lindsay, she was twirling something around in her hand. She looked up at him.

"This is yours. Or should I say, Peyton's!" She scoffed. Her eyes burning with more tears. Lucas opened his hand, and what dropped into it made his heart rip. "Lindsay…"

She shook her head.

"Don't Luke."

"I'm-"

Lindsay shouted. "I said Don't!"

"It's not so easy for me Lindsay…"

She shrugged, turning her head away. "What isn't Luke? You loving me? You loving Peyton? Which is it? What's not easy?…" She shook her head again and held up her hands. "Actually Don't explain. Let me make it easy for you, Goodbye Luke." She turned on her heels and began to stalk away.

Lucas felt the urge to call after her, but why? Did he want her to leave like this? The words came out of his mouth before he thought.

"Don't go!"

***

Long time, no update, I guess you could say I've been busy! But this is the long a waited chapter!

I get into surges of writing stories, and then I fail to finish, but I don't want that to happen with this one. So thank you to everyone who has waited patiently to read this, and enjoy : )