Maddie

Maddie stood on that front porch scared to death. She stared at that big red door for a long time, biting her bottom lip and debating whether or not to knock. She'd been to this house lots of times. Some of her earliest memories were running around the backyard with Daphne while her mom and Deacon worked on songs. But everything was different now.

Maybe I should just go. Maybe he would just think she was a dumb kid mad at her parents.

Or maybe he had known all along. The thought had never even entered her mind until then.

Maybe he just didn't want to be a dad.

Tears filled her eyes. She didn't really want to believe that. Deacon had always been so good to her and Daphne. Suddenly uncertain, she turned to go.

But then the door opened and the choice was made for her. Deacon was all dressed up, ready to leave for somewhere. And then she remembered her mom was playing on the stage at the amphitheater downtown tonight. He was probably on his way to meet her.

"Hey sweetie," he said, a little confused. "You looking for your mom? She's not here, we have that show tonight."

Maddie shook her head, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Is everything okay?"

The words came out in a rush before she could stop herself.

"I think that you might be my father."

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Deacon was surprised in the first place to find Maddie on his front porch, because although they'd spent enough time together over the years, she had never bothered to seek him out much before without Rayna. It was obvious she was upset, probably at both of her parents. Rayna had told him both the girls were taking the divorce hard.

But the words that came out of her mouth completely floored him. He wasn't sure where she'd gotten the idea or what exactly to say. "Uh…what?"

She repeated it, and nope, he definitely hadn't heard her wrong the first time. He let out a sigh. "Maddie why don't you come in for a minute, huh?"

She swiped the tears from her eyes with her sleeve as he led her into the house into the kitchen, got her a chair and a glass of water.

"Now," he said gently as he sat down on the chair in front of her. "Wanna tell me what's going on? You mad at your Mom and Dad, is that what this is about?"

Maddie bit her lip. She was in it now, as they said. No going back.

She withdrew the piece of paper from her pocket with the paternity test results written on it.

"If you aren't my dad," she said, starting to cry. "Then who is?"

Stunned, Deacon looked at the piece of paper she had handed over. Results of a paternity test dated spring of 1999. A zero percent chance that Theodore Conrad was the father of infant baby girl Conrad.

Zero percent. That number kept jumping out at him, and an ache started in his chest that built until he almost couldn't breathe.

"Honey, I just don't think that's….possible. Your mom would have told me."

But as he said the words to the broken hearted little girl in front of him, the pieces were already connecting in his mind, mostly over Rayna's concern about the night they'd broken up at the cabin, how she'd been so worried he didn't remember, her relief when she realized he did.

Maddie sobbed harder.

He had never felt more helpless, more conflicted as he patted her back and tried to figure out what to say to make it better and at the same time tried to calm the turmoil that was building inside of him. He couldn't lose it in front of this kid when he honestly and truly had no idea if there was any truth to this.

When she said she was ready,he drove her back to Teddy's house because Rayna, of course, was not home. She was waiting downtown at the venue for him to show up. Maddie didn't say a word, just kept staring out the window.

He didn't know what else to say, just numb in that moment as he drove, trying to tell himself it must have been a mistake, that this half grown girl sitting next to him couldn't possibly be his own child and he had never known.

When he parked at the curb in front of Teddy's house, Maddie just sat there for a second. She looked so forlorn and miserable, that in that moment he didn't think he'd ever been so goddamn furious at Rayna in the two and a half decades that he had known her. If it was true…she'd been lying to him for the better part of the thirteen years they hadn't been together. She'd kept right on lying to him for weeks all the nights she fell asleep and woke up in his arms. Every show they'd played in the last few months, every song they'd written together… and that lie had been hanging over the two of them.

And worse, she'd lied to Maddie as well.

"Listen, he said haltingly. "I'm gonna…talk to your mama, okay? We'll get this straightened out. I'm sure it's just a mistake, Maddie."

She would have told me.

"Right," Maddie whispered. Or maybe she had been the mistake all along. "What if it isn't?" And suddenly Deacon looked a lot less mad and really lost, like maybe he was gonna cry too, and it made her sad. She thought maybe he really loved her mom. He'd always kinda looked at her that way, even when she'd been married to Teddy. Maybe he'd loved her before too.

"I'm not sure what to tell you," he said honestly, "that is going to be the right or wrong answer. But I'll tell you what. If you need me, all you have to do is call, okay? Any time. You already have my number from your mom, right?"

Maddie nodded and climbed out of the truck.

Deacon walked her to the door, and Teddy flung it open, clearly upset. "Maddie where have you been? You said you were staying at Talia's, and her mother called and said you left."

Then he saw Maddie's distressed face, Deacon's face brimming with quiet anger.

And Teddy knew instantly. "What the hell?"

Slowly Deacon handed the paper Maddie had given him back to Teddy. "Your daughter would like an explanation," he said quietly. "Maybe you can give her a better one than I can."

And he turned and walked away before he said things he knew he'd regret later.

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Rayna

She couldn't believe Deacon had not shown up, and she was beyond pissed. Bucky had given her the news a half hour before the show started that they needed to call in a back up guitar player.

"What?" Rayna panicked as she paced backstage, reaching for her phone. But there were no missed calls or messages. "Did something happen? Is he okay?"

Bucky looked hesitant. "Did you two get into a fight or something, Ray? Because all he said to me was 'find her a new guitar player. I quit.'"

"Well, that's ridiculous," she said indignantly. "I'll call him right now.

But Deacon's phone was off. And she had fifteen minutes to go onstage. Reluctantly she ran through the setlist for the night's show at the outdoor theater with the backup, Pete, and tried not to worry. But she couldn't shake the sinking feeling that something was very very wrong.

When she came off the set, there were fourteen missed calls from Teddy.

She dialed his number with shaking hands as she walked quickly towards the exit, and waved Bucky to make her excuses. "I need to go, Buck. Just…get me out of the meet and greet or whatever is after this. Tell them I had a family emergency."

Teddy answered on the first ring, and his words shattered everything. "She knows, Rayna. Maddie knows."

Her heart stopped. "What? But that's impossible."

"Well I don't know how she found the paternity test, and I don't know why the hell you didn't shred that years ago, but she did." Teddy said angrily. "And I need you here to help me fix this."

"Okay," tears blurred her eyes as she approached her waiting limo. "I'll be there soon."

Teddy hung up as she looked up and realized Deacon was standing there waiting for her in the parking lot, dressed up like he'd been reading to come and play and never made it. Leaning against the side of the limo with his head down looking very much like a broken man.

Maddie went to him, she realized, and what was left of her world crumbled.

He looked up as she approached, and she reached out to touch his coatsleeve, but he yanked his arm away.

"Maddie came to see me," he said, trying to keep his voice level.

She swallowed hard. "I know."

"She wants to know who her father is, Ray. Because according to that piece of paper you've been hiding, it's not Teddy," his voice got progressively louder. "But it couldn't be me, right? Because there's no way you would have not told me. There's no way that you would have let me stand on a stage next to you for 13 damn years and not told me that I had a daughter, that we could have spent all these last weeks together and you would have not told me."

She tried to find the right words but they stuck in her throat like sand paper. "Deacon, I…"

"Rayna," he said, almost bordering on desperation. "Just tell me it's not true."

"I can't," she whispered.

"She's mine?"

"Yes. She's yours."

He wanted to say so many things that he didn't even know where to start. How is that possible? He knew exactly how it was possible. He'd been a mess back then. In and out of rehab, unable to stay sober to save his own life. There were days…weeks even he'd been so out of it he barely remembered a anything.

But he remembered the night he'd put that ring on Rayna's finger. And that had been the last night they'd been together, the last night he'd held her in his arms before he went into rehab for the fifth and final time. Why? Just why?

"Deacon, please," she reached out for him again, her hand trembling. "Just listen to me. You know how you were back then. And Maddie…she needed a father. I did what I thought was the right thing by marrying Teddy."

He took a few steps backwards forcefully, out of her arms reach. "The right thing? I got sober, Rayna. And I stayed that way. And you still didn't tell me."

Tears were rolling down her face. "Do you remember what happened before you went back to rehab the last time? Because I do. You came to my apartment."

She didn't want to let him in. She was scared to let him in. But then again she was scared of what would happen to him wandering around out on the street if she didn't. With a heavy heart, she unlocked the door.

Of course, he was completely wasted. "Where is he?" he wandered down her hallway. "If he's here, I'll break his neck. If he lays one hand on you…."

He was looking for Teddy. Of course.

"He's not here, Deacon," she said, trying to placate him. "No one is here but me, okay?"

Truthfully, she was scared to death. That plus sign on the pregnancy test last week had been the biggest wake up call she'd ever had. As much as she wanted to believe the man she'd fallen in love with was still inside of him, as much as she wanted to help him, she couldn't keep living like this. It wasn't just her life at stake anymore.

She wanted to tell him. More than anything she wanted to tell him about the baby. Maybe it would calm his demons somehow, give him a reason to see he needed help. Tandy and Teddy had so far talked her out of it, and watching this scene tonight, her heart broke as she realized they were right.

"Rayna, I know you're still seeing him," his eyes were wild and his speech was slurred. "It's all over town, all over the damn papers. I know it!"

"I'm not," she lied. "I love you, Deacon. You know that."

Nothing she said would calm him down, and pretty soon one of her kitchen chairs had hit the wall, and her grandmother's china plates were in pieces on the floor.

Sobbing, she locked herself in the bedroom, and did the only think she could think of. She called the police.

He did remember that night. He didn't want to, but he did. The look on her face as they had dragged him out of her apartment in handcuffs had been the rock bottom that nearly killed him. He'd been sent to a rehab facility out of state the next day. But that time had been different. It worked that time. He got sober, and stayed that way. It was too late for him and Rayna, though. By the time he got out, she was married to Teddy and having a baby. His baby, apparently. He wondered if Teddy had known right from the beginning.

"I got better, Ray. I got sober and I stayed that way for a long time," he said, his voice cracking. "And you still didn't have enough faith in me to tell me. You let Teddy Conrad have 13 years of her life that should have been mine."

"I have never lost faith in you," she said desperately. "I've just been trying to find the right time, and I just…I didn't want to blow up Maddie's life, or yours."

"If Maddie hadn't have found out, would you have ever told me?"

"Of course I would have!" Rayna said vehemently, her voice shaking.

He shook his head slowly. "I don't believe you."

And for that, he didn't think he could ever forgive her.

Without a single glance backwards, Deacon turned and walked away and left her standing there in the parking lot with tears streaming down her face.

He walked and walked until he found exactly what he was looking for. With a heavy sigh and an angry broken heart, he pulled open the door to the dimly lit corner pub and stepped inside.

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Rayna

There are moments when you look back and wonder how you ever survived the pain.

Rayna'd had those moments many times before. Every time she'd watched Deacon go through those rehab doors all those years ago and wonder if he would come back out alive. Holding her baby girl and knowing he would not get the chance to be her father. The day she had married Teddy, knowing her heart would always want someone else. Finding out the husband she had given her loyalty was not only a thief, but a cheater. Every time she had somehow survived. The world kept turning. The day ended, and the next morning another one began and she was still breathing.

Now, watching her world implode around her once again, she didn't know how they'd ever survive this one. Watching Deacon walk away from her tonight with that absolute broken look in his eyes may have been the second worst pain she'd ever felt.

Because now she had to explain to their daughter.

She arrived at Teddy's house to find Maddie having a meltdown in her bedroom, in absolute hysterics.

"So Deacon is my real father," she demanded. "And you didn't tell me."

"Yes, Maddie, he is."

"He's your biological father," Teddy tried to reassure her. "I'm still your dad."

"But you didn't tell him either," Maddie cried accusingly in her mother's direction. "He never even had a choice if he wanted to be my dad," and then she turned to Teddy. "How could you marry her when she was pregnant by someone else?"

"Maddie, it was a complicated situation," Rayna she said, trying to soothe her. "We did what was best for you because we loved you so much, and we wanted you to have a family-."

"You lied," Maddie cut her off. "Because you didn't want anyone to know. Were you ashamed of Deacon, is that why? What did he do, Mom? I thought you loved him? Why would you lie?"

"Because he was an alcoholic." Teddy cut in angrily. "Is that what you want to hear, Maddie? That he couldn't be your dad because he was a drunk?"

"Teddy!" Rayna glared at him, appalled. "Just stop."

But Maddie was already beyond the point of consolation.

"Maddie, we cannot leave this situation like this," Rayna said firmly. "I know you don't understand but-."

"I understand fine!" Maddie cried bitterly. "You're a liar and I hate you. I wish I'd never even been born, because obviously I ruined everything. Just get out, please."

Rayna looked so shocked to hear those words come out of her firstborn child's mouth, that for a second Teddy felt genuinely sorry for her as he watched tears well up in her eyes.

He rubbed his eyes wearily, and gently put his hand on Rayna's elbow to lead her out into the hall. Maddie made short work of slamming the door shut the instant they were out, and quickly clicking the lock behind them.

"You need to go," Teddy said. "Just give her tonight, she'll be calmer in the morning."

She started to protest, but he was right, as hard as it was to admit it. And she had another situation of her own to deal with.

As she left Teddy's feeling like just about the worst failure as a parent in the world, she tried calling Deacon again, to no avail. Went past his house, even called Scarlett, some of the other guys in the band to see if they'd heard from him. With shaking hands she dialed Coleman's number. But hours later, he was still nowhere to be found.

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Deacon had been staring at the highball glass in front of him so long that the jack on the rocks had turned to jack and water. Next to his glass on the bar, the last chip he'd gotten at a meeting back in June, the one that had declared another year of sobriety, taunted him. There were twelve of them now, not a single one easily earned. One day, one hour, one minute at a time. Any alcoholic would tell you it was a battle you never really stopped fighting.

And here he was again.

The bartender cleared his throat, and the click of heels on the wooden floor behind him made him glance over his shoulder. Of all the people in the world Rayna would send looking for him, her sister was the last one he'd expected. Tandy had her arms crossed and a pinched look across her face that said he was about to get an earful. And that was the last thing he was in the mood for at that moment.

"This is ain't any of your business," he cut Tandy off before she could say a word. "So you can go on back and tell Rayna you found me in a bar just like she told you you would, and -."

"I beg to differ," Tandy said without a moment's hesitation. "My sister is busy dealing with a hysterical little girl who just found out her father isn't her father. She doesn't need to deal with you killing yourself on the same night. She's got half the god forsaken city of Nashville out looking for you. Lucky me, I guess I'm the winner." She slid onto the empty barstool next to him.

"That seat's taken."

She gave him a look. "Cut the crap, Deacon. You seem to think you're the only one hurting in this situation. You think any of this has been easy on her? She held this secret for a long time. It takes a toll on a person."

He swallowed hard and stared at the glass. "She lied to me. She could have told me when Maddie was three or five or ten…and she didn't believe in me enough to do that."

"She was trying to protect your little girl. Nobody's perfect. And wouldn't you? Wouldn't you do anything you could to keep that smile on Maddie's face? To keep her safe and happy?"

"Of course I would."

"Then me and that glass are not the one you should be having this conversation with."

"I don't think I can even look at her right now."

"It's my fault," Tandy said without hesitation. "Daddy and I convinced her it was the right thing to do for the baby to marry Teddy. For Maddie to have a real father. But I'm not sorry I did it. You were a drunk, Deacon. Unpredictable, undependable, and unreliable."

He winced at those words. Tandy had always been brutally honest what she thought of him.

"Maybe it was back then," he said in a low voice. "But I'm not anymore."

"You're sitting in a bar at the first sign of trouble, aren't you?"

He didn't know what to say to that, how to explain it, that glass sitting in front of him. For the first time in a long time, he didn't want to drink it. He just wanted to sit there and know that he could not do it. To know that even as shitty as he felt in that moment, he didn't need booze to survive the pain. It hurt, sure. And that emptying that glass would have made it all go away for one night. But tomorrow morning the truth would still be there. And so would Maddie and Rayna and everything tonight's revelations meant.

"I don't owe you any explanations, Tandy."

Tandy sighed, clearly disappointed. "You're right. You don't. But she tried to tell me you were different now."

"Does it matter?"

"Hell yes it matters. I love my sister, and I love my niece. I would rather not see you let them down again." Tandy's voice softened a little. "I only tried to protect her, Deacon. After her mom died…well you met Lamar. He was never exactly father of the year. All we had was each other. And you know…Rayna loves you. She always has. So I think it's probably past time for you and I to bury the hatchet and learn to like each other instead of just pretending."

"I've had enough motivational therapy for one night, but thanks anyway." Deacon shoved the glass back towards the bartender. Then he stood up and stalked towards the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Tandy demanded, rising to her feet, hot on his heels.

"None of your damn business."

"So that's it, huh? You're just going to walk out of here and go run away and sulk somewhere," She said, appalled. "And leave Rayna to deal with this on her own? Just like she did back then."

He shot her a scathing look. This is her idea of burying the hatchet, huh? He thought. She'd rather bury it in my back.

"You know Deacon, maybe you haven't changed that much after all."

Deacon said nothing, just opened the door and walked out.

With a sigh, Tandy took out her cell phone to call her sister. Something caught her eye from the edge of the bar as she sat there waiting for Rayna to pick up, and with trepidation she picked up the sober chip that Deacon had left behind.

"Hey honey," she said softly as her sister picked up. "How are things going? I'll be at your place in a little while, okay?"

Rayna was inconsolable on the other end of the phone. "Did you find him? I'm so worried. Oh god, he's not in a bar, is he? If he drinks again…I just don't think we could ever go back from it this time."

"I found him," Tandy fibbed, staring at the chip in her hand. "He's okay. Said he was going home to think about some things."

That seemed to calm Rayna a little.

"I'll be there in a little while, okay?"

Tandy pressed the end call button, and sat there with her head in her hands for a few minutes, trying to regain her composure over the truth she'd just glossed over to her sister.

After all, she thought silently. If there was one thing they were good at in the Wyatt family, it was lying to protect the ones they loved.

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Maddie stayed locked in her room at her dad's house the rest of the night. She couldn't stop crying. She felt bad she'd told her mom she hated her. She felt bad that she ruined everything. She had so many questions she wanted to ask all of them, and now she was scared to know. What if what Teddy had said was true? Was Deacon really an alcoholic? She didn't think it could be. He'd never seen him drink anything except a million bottles of water when she was backstage at her mom's shows, even when other people were drinking beer and champagne and stuff.

Looking through the old picture album from when her and Daphne were little made her question things even more as her tears dripped on the page. They looked happy, her mom and Teddy. Like a real family. But maybe it was all a lie. After all, her dad was dating Peggy now too. And he seemed happier than he had been in a long time.

She didn't know what to believe, who to trust anymore. Even Talia didn't understand. You have two dads? She'd said. That means you get twice as much stuff. Two households. Double vacations. Double holidays.

She didn't care about any of that. All she wanted was her family back the way it was.

Slowly she crossed the room and picked up the worn stuffed dog Deacon had given her a long long time ago, for her birthday when she was six. All the fur was rubbed off its ears by now from sleeping with it when she was younger, but she still rubbed it for good luck all the time. She put the dog in a safe spot on her pillow, and then her eyes strayed to the guitar in the corner. The one he'd given her to keep. And that had been before he knew he was her dad.

Deacon had always been there, in her life, she realized, and she'd never really thought about it much before. Maybe it hadn't been as a dad, but an uncle was a good close second. And her mom had made sure of that.

She couldn't hate her for that.

With a few more tears, she turned out the light, climbed into bed and put her earphones in, trying to drown out the pain of the entire night the only way she knew how: with music.

She was almost asleep when she got a text message. It's Deacon. I just wanted to make sure you're okay.

I'm really mad at my mom right now, Maddie typed back before she could stop herself.

I know you are, but she loves you anyway. If you need anything, just call okay?

Kind of like a dad, she thought, closing her eyes.

Maybe having two dads wouldn't be so bad after all.

######### This got really long, so looks like there will have to be one more chapter. After all, making up is the best part….