Back By Popular Demand...

Since Bunny passed away, Riky has been inundated with requests (okay two) to bring back "Adventures with Bunny". I know he never gives in to peer pressure unless his friends tell him to and since I've been around Jeff for awhile, guess who got roped into firing the engine up again. Yup, me!

I hope this is worth it!

Sincerely,

Lizard!

Ramblings

I would like to start by asking if the way the "Feud" between Matt and Jeff was ended seemed like it was thrown together by the same people who write for "Days of Our Lives"? It did to me. I was watching it with Tom and we both nearly fell out of our seats, not with excitement at seeing the Hardys ride again, but with laughter. I mean, come on! I could have bought it a lot easier if Matt had done what that fan was screaming. Do you remember when Matt was helping Jeff off the canvas? Some guy in the crowd was screaming "twist of fate". Now that would have been entertaining. Just 'coz Jeffro was leaving the company, legitimately, why choose to ignore the past nine months? I'll tell you why. Somebody's kid wanted to see Matt and Jeff in one more match. When I find out who the brat in question was, I'll let you know.

Next thing... the whole angle with CM Punk was so poorly executed, I can't begin to tell you. The second Punk said match versus career, everyone and I mean everyone knew what the outcome was going to be, especially with Mark making his return at Summerslam. Nothing against Mark personally, but he was thrown into a storyline that he didn't belong in at all. His best days are behind him, and giving him the title was like flogging a dead horse: trying to get as much mileage out of his as possible.

If I, or anyone else on this planet, had been writing this storyline, this is how it should've gone...

Matt doesn't return until Summerslam. He costs the Jeff the title against Punk and they restart their feud the following week. This culminates in a match, no loser leaves stipulations, but one in which Matt literally beats the shit out of Jeff. They should've done what they did with Paul Bearer, without the cement of course. Jeff gets taken out and we never see him again. I mean, the entire WWE universe knew that Jeff was leaving so why ruin a perfectly good match by setting up a stipulation that pretty much gives away the ending? Because the idiots who write this stuff, (and Vince included since he has ultimate control over it), have forgotten that the fans of the WWE are not stupid.

Anyways, that's just my opinion...

That being said, Jeff and Phil... there's an interesting couple. Phil came over to the house the night before their final match to go over what they wanted to do. (each other)

"Pepsi's in the fridge." Jeff sang out happily the second Phil had dropped his muddy shoes. Tom would have a fit if he'd knew who was tracking mud across his hardwood.

"Awesome." Phil helped himself to a can. "Before we get too involved in this match, can I ask you somethin'?"

"Sure, Philly." Jeff was drinking beer. "What's on your mind, other than me?"

"That's sorta what I mean. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with you, but I really need to clear the air about us."

"What about us?" Jeff looked a little nervous.

"Well, I... how can I put this? I think we need some time apart."

"Time apart... why?" Jeff demanded

"Because I am not comfortable being with you any more." Phil answered

Jeff's mouth dropped open. "W-w-why?"

"For one thing, you're married and two, I have to be true to myself." Phil answered "I'm straight-edge remember?"

"So... don't straight-edge people fuck?" Jeff started playing with his hands. I think what he really wanted to do was wrap them around Phil's throat.

"Yes, but... how can I explain it without sounding hypocritical?"

"You can't."

"I don't see why you're getting all pissy about it. When we first hooked up I knew that this wasn't gonna work." Phil stared at the can in his lap, wondering if the right thing to say could be found somewhere on the tri-coloured label.

"Nuh-uh. You wanted me! What you said was you'd do anything to make this work!" Jeff exclaimed

(Lizard's note: this was all news to me. I didn't even know that they were fucking! And if I didn't, I'm pretty sure that Tom didn't either 'coz if I knew I woulda told him.)

"I tried, Jeff. I really did. But this sneaking around isn't working for me. I can't go on living in fear that one day we're gonna be found out."

"Found out? How?"

"We'll get too comfortable with it and we'll make a mistake. It always happens and I am not dealing with either Matt or Tom if it does. You know how protective they are. Even if it is your fault, and it is, I'm the one who's gonna pay for it." Phil sighed "Anyway, about our match..."

"Fuck our match." Jeff's mouth was trembling. This usually meant trouble. "I gave up everything for you. I put you over for that title because I thought once I retired we could be together without having to worry. That was the only reason I agreed to that career match! The only fuckin' reason!"

"Jeff, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry?" Phil twisted the can in his hands, crushing it into an S-shape.

"I'm sorry... considering everything else about us has been a lie, why the hell should I believe this?" Jeff yelled "Get the fuck outta my house!"

"It's not technically your house." Phil said this, not to aggravate Jeff further, but he needed to buy some time. Hopefully, if he talked long enough, Jeff would calm down. Having a match with Jeff when he was this emotional was never a good idea.

"Out!" Jeff grabbed Phil by the shirt and dragged him toward the door.

"But what about our match?" Phil asked

"Bring your a-game." Jeff answered "I may have to job for you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy on you."

Jeff threw Phil out the door, his shoes flying afterward.

"Fuckin' asshole." Jeff muttered, storming into the bedroom with me. Tom was lying on the bed, watching Zack and Miri Make A Porno.

"That went well." Tom stated

"Yeah." Jeff snuggled up next to Tom, crushing me between their bodies. "I think Phil really thought that I was going to leave you for him."

"Psh!" Tom sighed "Like I told you, make him break up with you. Less chance of getting back together."

"I dunno why I let him suck me off in the first place." Jeff rolled over, giving me a little bit of air. "He wasn't really that good at it to begin with."

"Maybe he just needed to know if he was straight as well as straight-edge." Tom paused the movie and turned to look at Jeff. "And before you say anything, I am not angry. You were with Phil before I came along and the boy definitely looks like the clingy type."

"I love you Tommy." Jeff curled back up against Tommy. This time, he was thoughtful enough to extract me from my spot before I got pancaked again.

"I love you too, Jeff." Tom kissed him softly on the nose. "Now if you'd been doing that Lawson fella, I'd really get pissed off."

"That'll never happen. I promise." Jeff looked into Tom's eyes.

"I know." Tom wrapped his arms around Jeff and held him close. "Now shhh... it's getting to the good part."

(Lizard's note: Shows what I know, eh?)