James POV:

I was so nervous as I drove. The last few months the show had become so successful, the band had become so successful, the appearances, the publicity, the money that was starting to roll in, the attention; it was all surreal. It was also great and amazing, but overwhelming trying to handle my personal life with all of this and that had become a mess. I wanted to make sure that in all of this, I didn't hurt anyone I cared about. I had to deal with something that already had me on edge.

I knocked on the door, nervous.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey man, come on in."

I went in and sat down. I took a deep breath, then reached into my pocket and took out the small digital recorder and handed it over.

"Ok," I started, "I told you I was going to talk to Colleen. I felt so bad after I left here the other day. I... um…this is the conversation I had with her."

He looked at me strangely. "Is this a recording device? Man, what did you do? Did you bug her apartment? What the…?"

"No, I didn't bug it; I just had the recorder with me the whole time. Please just listen."

He looked at me, his eyes wide open and said, "Oh, yeah, I am TOTALLY listening! How the hell were you able to pull this off? She doesn't know you did this, right?"

I took another deep breath. "No, she doesn't know I did this. She was in the kitchen getting us some tea, and while she was in there, I took off my shoes, turned this on, and put it down in my shoe, then kind of pushed them under the end table where she wouldn't see them. We sat and talked. Then before I left, I asked for more tea and when she went back in the kitchen, I took it out, turned it off and put it back in my pocket. She had no clue and I feel guilty as fuck."

He just looked at me like he was waiting for me to keep explaining.

"Look, I would have relayed what she said back to you anyway. I wanted to be sure that I didn't misinterpret or forget anything she said, and I wanted you to know everything that was said, by her and me both. I knew I was going to be nervous and maybe not remember exactly how the conversation went down. So, after I left here the other day, I went to Staples and bought this damn thing. I called her that evening and asked if I could come over the next morning. I just wanted you to hear everything, so… it's there. My thoughts and feelings, her thoughts and feelings. Please listen to it alone, take as long as you want, then we can talk about it, or forget it entirely. Then THIS gets erased, and it NEVER HAPPENED, ok? I already feel fucking horrible enough about ALL of this…"

I looked at him and his expression was about as serious as mine was.

He looked at me for a minute, and then he seemed to understand. "So, to make sure that I was ok, you set her up?"

Well, technically I had. I felt like an even bigger asshole. I knew it was not right, but I had wanted to make sure I got everything for my sake and his. Nothing about any of this was easy.

"I wasn't trying to set her up. What's the difference between you hearing the whole thing here or me telling you the whole conversation verbatim? This is just THE accurate account…" I suppose that justified it, though I knew he was right.

"Well, for one thing, it's illegal in California. And if I listen to it, she could press charges against both of us if she ever found out. Not to mention how pissed and hurt she'd be if she knew you violated her privacy. But, ok. Wow. So, you planned this, but you couldn't have predicted how she would act when you were there, or what she would say or how it was going to go. Suppose it all just went to shit and ended badly? Then what?"

I just looked at the ceiling for a second, then back at him. "Then I would have felt even more like a complete fucking dick than I already do, erased the whole thing, and would have to figure out some major damage control to keep from hurting two people that I love. And I wouldn't be here handing this over for you to hear. Man, shit just gets complicated. I just want to be fair to everyone I care about. Just, listen to it. I'm gonna go. We'll talk later?"

"Yeah, ok, dude."

I left hoping I had done the right thing. Colleen and I had talked and tried to get everything out there. I know not everything was said; not by either of us, there was more to be worked out later. But the stuff that was said was honest. I was glad he could hear it for himself; he had to decide how to go about dealing with his feelings for her. I didn't want to see either of them hurt and I sure couldn't stand to think I'd had anything to do with it. I felt like a total asshole for doing this to Colleen, but it was fucked up situation. I also felt like an asshole for waiting until just before I left to tell her that we couldn't spend any more nights together, but I didn't want that part recorded because of her. It was too personal. I couldn't tell Colleen so many things she needed to know. This tore me up.

3rd person POV:

He looked at the recorder in his hand and felt his heart pounding almost out of his chest. He took a deep breath and pressed the playback button.

At first it was just muffled, rustling noises, then Colleen's voice, from a bit of a distance.

"It's peach flavored, hope you like it". Her voice just melted him. He felt guilty listening to a conversation she had that she didn't know was recorded, but since it was already done, he had to hear for himself.

Then her voice sounded nearer: "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

Then he heard James' voice: "I just thought we could hang out here, where it's quiet and just talk."

"OK, talking is good. What's our topic?"

"Well, us."

"Us... as in how?"

He listened intently to whole thing, more nervous than he thought he would be. He could see why James did this, and understood. So, they weren't committed. But, there was more to this than he thought there would be. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything to James, just kept all of this to himself. But, what's done is done. He couldn't imagine what James was going through right now, because it wasn't his fault either. He put the recorder in a drawer and called James.

"I listened to the whole thing."

"Are you ok?"

"Um, yeah. Can you come back over? And can you call the guys and get them over here, too? We should probably all make sure there are no other, um, issues. We won't even mention the recording. Are you ok with that?"

"Sure, dude, I'll call them now and be there in about an hour." James hung up, sighed heavily, and then made three more phone calls. He had to come clean about everything.