A/N: Mr. Posbi - this isn't technically IN hardmode as the Wall of Flesh was never defeated. The "cycles" of the world are off, meaning that the harder enemies are spawning, Crimson and Corruption are spreading too quickly, and hardmode NPCs are showing up, but technically it's a mix between the two (i.e. minimal/no Hallow).

I'm not showing too much of a distinction but sure, I'd suppose this story is technically in expert-mode. There just won't be too much difference as the big thing in expert other than the loot from what I understand (don't have the skill to actually do it xD) is enemies hitting harder and different boss attacks, which won't really come into play as the bosses here are "revamped" because of the Celestials. Also, the clowns are hardmode, not expert, if that's what you're thinking of (ergo Keeper making the "they're supposed to be sealed!" comment) ^_^

Thanks for the review! And also thanks for 255 views, guys. A great number indeed. :P

...

"Up, down, up, d-can you even say there's an up and a down right now, sheesh, this is confusing-hey Randy, how long've we got?"

"Two and a half minutes, I packed extra in case."

"Awesome! We're almost there, anyway. You're gonna love it, sis."

Randall shook his head slightly in amusement, before using the potion's energy racing through his system to flip his personal gravity once again and switch the direction of his fall. His younger brother and Bailey were doing the same up a few yards ahead of him, holding hands to avoid any kind of accident. The morning sunlight this high in the air was warm and intense, and there wasn't a cloud around to block their passage far above the treetops.

Randall found it amusing just how quickly his brother had taken to their new arrival, and how quickly Bailey had taken to them both. To be honest, Randall was surprised at himself-he'd never thought he'd be the kind of guy who'd be good with kids, he'd leave that to Sherwin, who was more than proving himself. Yet oddly enough, they'd easily fallen into the roles of a strict mother-ish figure and a fun dad, respectively. Bailey seemed to like them both, and everyone else in the base. She had few enemies of her constant energy and optimism, even if Randy would sometimes find her sitting on the roof staring off towards the Crimson with a strange, sad look in her eyes.

The brothers had been busy with "hero things", however-the thing living in the Crimson that had been dubbed the "Brain of Cthulhu" needed taking care of, a few times in fact. They'd progressed in armor and were considering heading towards the dungeon. Alalia had kept cautioning them about growing levels of Crimson-always referring to them specifically-but the two had mostly been ignoring her.

Randall was broken from his thoughts and the calm rhythm of flipping gravity when Bailey called out, "Look! Is that a cloud?"

Sherwin began rapidly flipping gravity in the air to remain hovering, then grinned, letting his momentum take him forward upside-down once again. "That's it! We're almost there! Oh, you're gonna love it."

Indeed, directly ahead of them loomed a large shape made up of what seemed to be cloud. As they drew closer, however, it became apparent that it was actually a small structure, with a cloudy base that led up into dirt. On the dirt rested a few trees, as well as a small, gold and blue-plated hut.

"Nyooooooooom!" Sherwin shouted, rather unnecessarily in Randall's opinion, as he performed one final gravity flip and set himself and Bailey down on the edge of the dirt, Randall following seconds later. Sherwin beamed, putting his hands on his hips and looking around. "Welcome to one of Terra's many famed-probably famed-floating islands! We've discovered a few of these beauties, but this one's closest to base-the first one we ever saw. Come on, check out the view!"

Bailey matched the young man's energetic grin and quickly rushed to the edge of the island, Randall hovering behind her and ready to grab her if she lost her balance. Her sparkling blue eyes widened as she peered over the edge into the abyss.

"Oh...my...gosh."

Indeed, Randall chanced a look over, even if he'd seen it before, and it'd take one's breath away. Terra was far, far below, spread out like a hyper-realistic map. Trees stuck up everywhere, visible as little puffs of leaves hanging above the grass. The desert and its cacti were also visible from here, and a great crack split the land-a giant chasm the brothers had explored. Off in one direction, the eerie bloodied grass of the Crimson could be seen, a strange contrast as it blended into the forest on one side and the frozen tundra on the other. Distantly, one could make out the sunlight glinting off the jungle's pools.

The sound of something exploding into bits startled the both of them, and Randall and Bailey turned to see Sherwin, Blood Butcherer sword drawn, now absolutely surrounded by a cloud of feathers. Randall raised a brow.

"Harpies," grumbled Sherwin, "Freaking harpies. Let's go inside before more of the little jerks show up. THAT'S RIGHT, I'M TALKING TO Y-"

A feather zooming towards him at high speed cut off his unfinished insult, and he yelped, quickly gesturing for Randall and a giggling Bailey to come into the little hut.

Randall shut the door behind him, and the three observed the room under the light filtering in from the house's two glass windows. The place was rather modest in furniture, but beautiful in appearance. Gold discs made up the pattern of the walls, and there was a table and chairs of a deep blue to one side. Several banners hung in the room, emblems of the sun and Terra itself on them. The room's centerpiece was a gold and blue-plated chest, which Sherwin now stood near.

"This looks so awesome!" Bailey chirped, running from one side of the room to the other, her mind obviously racing, "Look, those banners would look great in our house-can we make that table, because I really like the blue. The only thing this room's missing is a disco ball or something, just imagine it on those tiles! What's in the chest?"

"We took the contents of the chest some time ago," Randall explained, a knowing smirk crossing his face, "But...I can show you something we made with the help of what was inside."

Randall reached into his inventory, and triumphantly pulled out a balloon floating on a string, which bounced idly against the ceiling as he held it. It was a deep blue color, with a swirling white mass in the center, like a barely-contained windstorm. Bailey stared at it with wide eyes, before Randall handed it to her. "We found a Shiny Red Balloon in that chest. Combined it with a Cloud in a Bottle we found, and, well, we got this. It's proved quite useful, lets you jump higher and gives you an extra lift-please don't try it in here, gravity's reduced and the ceiling's low, you'll hit your head..."

Bailey turned to Sherwin with a pleading look, and he shook his head, "Gotta admit he's right. Once we're back on the ground, okay? Oh! I can tell you how you can jump from here with that-"

"Sherwin, we are NOT letting her do that!"

"It's safe! You land fine if you use the-oof, don't give me that look. Okay, we'll show you on the ground, how about that sis?"

Bailey huffed and nodded, her smile coming back as she surveyed the room. Sherwin went to the door, tried to open it, then immediately shut it again at a loud squawk from outside. He groaned, smacking the door a few times.

"Hey! Harpy! Get out of there, I'm not lookin' for your ugly mug. Don't you give me that face!"

He hissed, opening the door just enough to slash at the harpy until it fell into feathers. "Ooookay there are a lot of them out there. We should get going before the potions wear off."

"Aw..." Bailey stared at the ground, "I don't wanna leave so fast..."

"We can come back," Sherwin promised, "Besides, Kyle's gonna get all huffy at us if we aren't back soon. He wants us to head to the Dungeon ASAP..."

"I don't particularly care what Kyle wants," Randall muttered to himself, a dark scowl crossing his face, "At this point he's going to lead us to our deaths. He didn't even want us to go to the Crimson...he's holding us back."

"I know. Later, okay?"

Randall sighed, "Fine, fine. Bailey...?"

Bailey had stopped her constant movement to stare out one of the windows. Sherwin moved to stand next to her, a hand on her shoulder. "Your parents ever tell you about these?"

She nodded, "I wish they could see it."

"Hey, maybe they-uh..." Sherwin trailed off as Randall gave him a significant look-Bailey hadn't told them about where her parents were, other than that they were 'fine somewhere', but he didn't want it getting brought up before Bailey was ready to tell it herself. And Randall got the feeling the prognosis wasn't good.

Bailey didn't seem to mind, though. She remained silent for a moment, before abruptly hugging Sherwin, leaning her forehead against his breastplate. He seemed surprised, laughing a bit. "What?"

"I just...uh...thanks for taking me up here. You're the best brothers I never had."

Sherwin was smiling. "Hey, no problem."

"You're not going anywhere, right?"

Randall moved to join the hug, giving a very firm nod.

"Nothing on Terra is going to stop us from being your big brothers. I promise."

-:-:-

Ret was surprised he'd managed to sleep at all the night after the attack. Emily the nurse had managed to heal Spaz's arm, and Ret had insisted on being the one to carry his brother back up to their room at the inn. He wasn't certain if it was the strain of the day or his general lack of sleep recently, but he passed out as soon as he hit the bed.

Spaz had poked him awake in the middle of the night to inform Ret that he'd woken up and was fine. Ret probably gave a bit too much indication of his relief, as Spaz had complained that the ensuing hug had nearly choked him. The two talked for a bit before going back to sleep, and when the morning light found them, it seemed things had gone back to normal-Ret was the first one up, and was finally able to take a shower before Spaz managed to roll out of bed onto his face.

The two had walked down to a lively inn lobby-apparently Bailey, Mercer, and other culinarily-skilled citizens had come together to celebrate the grand defeat of the celestialized Eye with a big, fancy breakfast, served on all the lobby's tables pushed together into a mishmash of styles that would rival Elric's house.

It was that morning that the twins realized what had happened with the fish was no coincidence-Keeper probably had the worst table manners of anyone they'd ever seen. Even without their memories, the two could agree that they doubted anyone else could come close.

Keeper seemed to have something against eating with utensils, as he'd stared at the fork and knife by his place for a solid minute like he had no idea what they were before grabbing an omelete and stuffing it in his mouth whole. He also appeared to have a bottomless pit instead of a stomach, as he constantly complained he was "still hungry" and continued his half-embarrassing, half-hilarious display. Bailey was trying not to laugh, Mercer looked disgusted, and Alalia kept giving him dirty looks, though it wasn't clear whether these were directed at his eating habits or the man himself, as the two had been hostile all morning. Tommy tried to emulate him, choking while trying to suck up a large string of sausages like a giant noodle the way Keeper did at one point. Keeper then proceeded to leave the room to be sick, which everyone agreed he deserved.

Ret was simply glad that nothing was trying to kill them-Keeper making an idiot of himself was a pleasant bonus. Spaz ate like a ravenous dog and struck up conversation with everyone nearby, while Ret tried to avoid coming anywhere near any of the people about. It seemed the only citizen who wasn't crammed in the inn's lobby was the missing guide Kyle-a pity, it'd be amusing to see how badly some scrawny Guide would get trampled in this mess.

Ret cleaned his place and took his dishes to the kitchen, where Bailey, Mercer, and a Dye Trader were passing off dish duty.

"There you are," Bailey said with a warm smile as he entered. Ret still wasn't sure if he trusted or liked the woman, but something about her intrigued him, and she seemed to have valuable information. He nodded in greeting, slipping his plate in the sink. "I've been meaning to talk to you about last night."

"Really? What of it?"

"The fight, of course."

She dropped her towel to the counter and gestured for the men to continue, before leading Ret to the smaller kitchen table. The noise of the morning's feast was still audible, but muffled through the walls, and Ret didn't feel quite so suffocated, though he still worried about Spaz doing something stupid like challenging the Arms Dealer to a duel. 'Never bring a knife to a gun fight,' and all that.

"I was watching the whole thing after I ran out of ammo," explained Bailey, gesturing vaguely off in the air to her left, "I saw what you did for your brother back there."

"Oh...that. I, ah, hardly thought about it."

"Hey, call me impressed. I'd know I'd do that if either of the dorks in my family got in trouble. I don't know why Alalia went so crazy. You're not a bad person, I can tell."

Ret shrugged, glancing away, "Perhaps, perhaps not. We cannot know."

Bailey seemed to be searching for something in his eye, with a gaze that made him vaguely uncomfortable. "You and your brother really do make me think of my older brothers, you know...Maybe I just miss 'em too much still. They were close like you."

"Really, now. What happened?"

"...Just...disappeared one day. Twenty years ago, now."

Ret was thoroughly confused. "I...am sorry?..."

Bailey shrugged, "Nah, I shouldn't have brought it up. I guess it's a warning just in case I come on too strong? Maybe? People say I do that and I might with you because you two remind me of those dorkfaces. Whoopsie. Just, uh, take care of each other, okay?"

"That was the plan."

A long, awkward silence. Bailey settled her face in her hands, watching him unnervingly closely.

"Uh...so!" Her smile was clearly forced, "Yeah, basically...good job last night. The Eye's never done any of those things before...other than ramming people."

"What is it like normally?"

"It's usually kind of a pushover. Just startles us sometimes. Rams everything it can and grows a huge set of chompers if we wail on it enough. We probably could've killed the normal model three times in the time it took you to kill the one...it's got me worried. Those celestial...things. I've gotta ask Elric...At least it was only the one."

Ret was intrigued. "Only the one?"

Bailey nodded, grimacing. "Yeah, we've had some problems with eyeballs. It's getting to be an eyesore." She paused as if waiting for him to react, awkwardly continuing when he didn't. "About a month or so ago, we got attacked by two of it. Well, maybe not the same eye-Elric said it wasn't, but literally the only difference was instead of blue these things were red and green. Attached by a big...flesh...string...thing. Scared us all out of our pants. Not out of our pants, but you know. Raining down lasers on us and a fire that couldn't be put out...We were actually afraid for our lives."

Ret got the feeling that someone was watching him. He glanced towards the door to see a shock of dirty, brownish hair abruptly disappear around the corner. His eye narrowed, but he slowly turned back to Bailey.

"Did you defeat them?"

"Not all the way, nah. Found out they weren't eyes at all, was the weirdest thing. They were actually big giant metal things."

Ret found himself very interested in the idea of these red and green eyes, though he couldn't place why. He tilted his head to the side, tapping the table idly with a finger. "Metal...? Mechanical?"

"Preeeetty much. The red guy had a laser cannon on the front, and the green one-drumroll please-giant set of chompers. What is it with eyeballs and stupid amounts of teeth? Anyway, the green one nearly burned down the city with cursed fire, and the red one blasted holes in a few of us. Nowhere the Nurse couldn't fix, but...it was a terrible night. Thankfully morning came and scared them off, or else we might not've been here when you got here. I can only hope someone else took care of them."

"What were these made of, do you know?" Ret was leaning forward now, showing more interest than intended.

"Whoah, how am I supposed to? Elric said they were constructed by something else. Said it might've even been done by an Elder God or worse."

"Elder God?"

"Oh, whoops, you would've forgotten. It's-"

"MOMMY!"

Everyone in the kitchen jumped at once, and Bailey shot to her feet. In a blink, she was at the door, where Tommy ran in at top speed, clinging to her leg and sobbing. Ret stood himself, turning to see what had happened. The boy's face-or what he could see of it-was pale and blotchy, and tears were streaming down his cheeks. He was trembling all over, light brown hair slicked to his forehead with sweat. It looked as if he'd woken from a nightmare.

Mercer dropped a plate he'd been rinsing in the sink and ran over as well, eyes wide. "Tommy, Tommy sh-sh-shhh-what's wrong, what happened?"

Tommy seemed to be trying to say something, but all that could come out were incoherent splutters. Footsteps could be heard entering the kitchen, and Tommy immadiately turned around and screamed at the top of his little lungs.

Ret looked at whatever had so terrified the boy to see Keeper standing in the doorway, a slight frown on his face. Bailey quickly picked up Tommy, who buried his head in her chest, his sobs becoming even more violent.

"What...what happened, what-" Mercer stammered, shaking his head, before pointing at Keeper, "Did you hurt him?"

"What? Not at all."

"M-Mommy he said-he said-he's really bad he's-"

Keeper scoffed, "Do I have to go over it again, it isn't bad necessarily. You just see it as awful."

Tommy seemed to ignore him, holding on so tight that his tiny fingers went white. "M-Mommy he told me really bad things he's from a bad place full of bad things he's I'm scared-"

"Again, not a bad place, why is everyone thinking that? What have they been telling all of you?"

"Shut up!" Bailey snapped at Keeper, fire in her eyes, before turning back to her boy. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, okay?"

"B-but...H-he..." Tommy's sniffles subsided for a moment, and he screeched the next sentence, "MOMMY, HE'S GONNA EAT ME!"

Every eye in the room was on Keeper, now, even those of the rather out-of-place Dye Trader somehow still drying dishes off to the side. The only sound was Tommy's renewed cries of fright.

"...When did I once say I was going to eat you," Keeper finally said, a hint of irritation in his voice.

The spell was broken. Bailey gave her son to Mercer before anyone else could respond.

And then, the woman walked straight up to Keeper and slapped him across the face.

Keeper shouted in pain and raised a hand to his cheek, bending over slightly and screwing his eyes shut. "That-that was not-"

"What did you tell him?!"

"Just a bit about myself."

"Ha, yeah, right-you traumatized my son is what you did!"

"Not traumatized. Just a little horrified."

"I-you-!"

Bailey seemed to be struggling to stop herself from using words that wouldn't be appropriate around Tommy. Then, before anyone could move, she darted to the drying rack and picked up a frying pan she'd used to cook eggs and bacon earlier. She swung it at Keeper's head with the force only an enraged mother could muster.

Keeper didn't have time to get out of the way, and the pan connected with a loud bong that made everyone who wasn't Bailey wince in sympathetic pain. He staggered backwards and crumpled to his knees, clutching at his head, then his chest.

"By the Elders, woman, are you attempting to kill me?!" he shouted, looking up to her with a snarl, "If you had any idea who-"

"You. You shut your mouth and don't you dare open it again in this inn. I'm giving you ten seconds to leave and don't even think about coming anywhere near my son again, do you hear me?"

"I-"

Bailey raised the pan, "One...Two...Nine...!"

Keeper backed up a couple of steps, before turning away as if to leave. But he looked to Ret once before going.

"You're breaking test rules..." he murmured so only the other could hear, "If you get on that topic of conversation again, I may be forced to make another distraction..."

"TEN!"

Bailey ran at Keeper with the frying pan, and Keeper quickly made his exit, stumbling over his own legs in an attempt to get away from the woman and her cooking implement. Bailey stopped just outside the kitchen until she heard the door slam, then sighed, walked back, dropped her pan in the sink, and moved to console her scared child.

Ret correctly assumed this would be a good time to leave, and ducked out of the kitchen. Most of the earlier crowd had left, but those who hadn't were all silent and glancing between the door Keeper had left through and the kitchen.

Ret easily found Spaz talking to a Demolitionist, and rushed over, grabbing Spaz by the back of the shirt and pulling him to his feet.

"We'll have to blow something up sometime!" Spaz yelled, before Ret managed to drag him out the door. As soon as Spaz could catch his breath, he turned and stared at Ret. "What? What's with your face?"

"Keeper has a lot of explaining to do, that's what."

"What?"

"Keeper just traumatized a small child."

"Oh, well that's no surprise-wait, what? He's freaky, but not that freaky...?"

Ret explained what had happened as he and Spaz walked down the sidewalk, all the while keeping their eyes out for their bizarre guide. Spaz seemed just as intrigued by the story of the two eyeballs as Ret was, and shook his head at the mention of Keeper's final warning.

"Why doesn't he want us to know, huh?" Spaz asked, "What if we've gotta fight those guys before we take down the underworld thing?"

"Because your next challenge," came Keeper's voice from around the nearest building, "lies in the Corruption. The Great Devourer awaits you..."