DISCLAIMER: As much as I would like to say that I own the characters here, I only own a handful – this one is for you, Nikki, for waiting so patiently. And there's lots of Andy...

"No, you bloody well can't do that!" A voiced boomed across the Hub.

"And why not?" Another, quieter, (but not by much) voice asked back.

"Because that's not how it's bloody done!" The sharp reply came back.

"Children," Jack leaned over the railing to the autopsy bay, finding the source of the commotion. "What is going on down there?"

"Genius here," Owen indicated the man standing beside him, "thinks that we can bag the stuff up for later and move on to something else."

Andy butted in. "I don't see why not – we have two of the same thing here..."

"And I keep telling him that I do things my way! This isn't even his job!" Owen's whine sounded like that of a toddler and not of a man who had exclusive knowledge of many alien races.

"Andy, let him do his job, please..." Jack rubbed his temples. He noticed that he was doing that more and more lately. "Besides, I need you to go out and get some information."

Owen gave Andy a sarcastic smile and turned back to the body on the table.

"What is it doing?" Andy asked, climbing the stairs with heavy feet and a pout.

"I need you to go and talk to someone about some odd things that have been going on in the Salisbury area. Do you know it?" Jack watched Owen get the saw ready to dissect the alien in front of him.

"Somewhat." Andy sighed, wondering where all the adventure was; that was why he had signed on in the first place.

"Get a map if you don't. Here's the address." Jack handed him a slip of paper. "Try to stay out of too much trouble."

Andy looked at the man incredulously. Just exactly what kind of assignment was he sending him on? To this point, he had only been running errands, no real action, nothing even near what he had been doing as a PC. "Right. I have my comm."

"Good. Keep it on at all times." Jack's face turned stern.

"One time..." Andy muttered under his breath as he took the keys to the SUV from Jack's open palm.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"You're almost there," Amanda spoke into the comm on her end. "Just one more turn and -"

"What?" Andy was worried as the comm went dead.

"Oh, nothing, Jack just asked me to tell you not to shoot anyone."

"One time!" He shouted, his voice echoing in the SUV.

"You're there. Good luck, Andy." Amanda sounded genuine as she clicked off her end of the comm line.

Andy got out and made sure to lock the SUV and pocket the keys before knocking on the door. He was greeted by a plump woman who looked like she was in the middle of cleaning up. "Mind if I come in?"

"And who would you be?" The woman smiled up at him in curiosity. "And then I'll know if you should come in."

"Uh, Andy. The names Andy. I work for the..." He hesitated for a bit before hearing a voice in his ear. "Health and Safety, actually. I work for Health and Safety."

"Oh then, come inside." She opened the door wide to him before stepping in to allow him through.

"What now?" Andy whispered, hoping he would get an answer.

"Wing it," Amanda shrugged, knowing he couldn't see her. "We picked up a report from Health and Safety that there were some people trying a new diet drug and then, one from the local police that odd things were happening – we cross-referenced and found Miss Partridge is one that comes up on both databases..."

"Okay then," Andy all but mumbled before taking the seat he was being offered. "Miss...Partridge, is it?"

"Yes?" She looked to be in her early thirties, but Andy couldn't be sure – he was bad at that sort of thing.

"I'm here to ask you a few questions about the diet drug you're taking." He rooted in his jacket pocket for the notebook he had learned to keep there.

"Okay. And you say you're from Health and Safety?" She was suddenly skeptical.

"Y-yes," Andy stammered.

"Your badge?" She held her hand out, waiting.

Andy reached into his interior pocket and pulled out the blank paper Jack had given him and, with a smile that looked more like a grimace, handed it over.

Miss Partridge looked it over and smiled before handing it back. "I'm sorry, but a lot of press have been coming 'round."

"And why is that, Miss Partridge?" Andy frowned and put his pencil to the paper, waiting.

"Ann, please – call me Ann." She touched his arm lightly.

"Okay then, Ann, why have you been visited?" He wasn't sure, but he thought she might be flirting with him.

She shrugged, "'Dunno. Might be all the weight I lost."

"You lost quite a lot then?" Andy took notes, trying to avoid the way she was looking at him.

"I'll say! 4.5 stone!" She stood to show him, proudly.

"...And how long have you been taking this supplement?"

"Two weeks."

"Two weeks!? Miss – Ann – that's pretty fast, isn't it?"

She beamed at him then. "I'm so happy! I feel free!"

"So, you would say that this has been a good experience for you then?" He went back to his professional tone, remembering who he was supposed to be representing.

"I would say yes." She looked at him oddly before continuing. "Could you excuse me a moment? I'm a bit thirsty – do you care for anything?"

"A glass of water would be nice, yes," Andy answered, never looking up.

Miss Ann Partridge frowned at him. She wanted him to watch her walk out of the room with her new figure. Someone from Health and Safety would be quite the catch. But he didn't even look up, so she continued without using her special walk she had come up with.

Andy looked up once she was gone. "Amanda! This woman has lost 4.5 stone in two weeks..."

"That's impossible, Andy." the voice on the other end sounded sarcastic.

"No, I'm looking at pictures of her then and now." He was walking around as he talked, looking at the many photos that cluttered the walls and available surfaces. "She was a lot heavier. What's this?" He looked down at a brochure that was sitting on a side table. "What is 'Adipose Industries'?"

"Never heard of it. Let me check." There was the sound of typing over his comm as he paced, looking for more info.

Suddenly there was a loud crash and he heard a scream. Dashing into the room, Andy found glass pieces everywhere, mostly beside a pile of the clothes he had last seen on Miss Ann Partridge. He also saw a small blob of what looked like white vinyl waving at him. It was cute and Andy moved to pick it up before alerting the others. "Uh, guys, my best guess is that the woman I was talking to just exploded into cute, little, white vinyl bits."

"Andy, come back to base. Can you get a sample?" It was very quiet at the Hub.

The former PC regarded the creature he held. It had two eyes and a mouth with one single tooth, two arms with webbed hands and two stumpy legs. And it was smiling at him, not trying to get away. "Not a problem..."