"Don't you dare!"

"What, you don't want to be covered in slimy gloop?"

"Leave me be! Get away or I swear I will-"

"Come on Minne," they mocked, stepping closer, "It's nice and warm!"

"I know what that is! I know that concoction intimately thanks to you and it's dangerously stupid!"

"You can't escape," they smirked, "You know you can't."

"Please no!" she squealed.

"Oh stop being so dramatic," Sarah rolled her eyes from her spot leaning on the dorm door, watching on amused as the girls teased her friend with the muggle beauty products, "It's just moisturiser."

"Yeah, and it does anything but!" Hermione frowned, "There is no way you're putting that on me!"

"But Minne, you can't just meet Lucius Malfoy with no make-up on," Mary whinged, holding up the eyeliner she'd bought from home, "What if you got a spot!"

"I highly doubt I'm going to grow a spot in the middle of conversation, Mary," she laughed, "Anyway, if I did, it'd be rude for him to point it out, wouldn't it?"

"Oh, I think I'd like to know if I was growing spots at that rate," Lily giggled, "That'd be a sight and a half!"

"It'd be like getting hit with a weirdly focused furnunculus," Clara said, "You know, like instead of getting all the stupid pimples and boils, you just got one, really big spot right in the middle of your face."

"Ew!" Mary grimaced, "That sounds disgusting! Please let me do this Minne, if only to reduce the risk of you growing the Godzilla of all zits on that pretty little face of yours."

"Mary, I really don't think this is necessary," Hermione protested, taking the pot of cream from her and placing it on the bedside cabinet, "Why can't I just go like this?"

"Like this! You do not go on a date on the last week before Christmas holidays with Lucius Malfoy like this!"

"It's not really a date, and we'll both still be in uniform," Hermione pointed out, "And he's seen me without being all dressed up before."

"So?"

"Well, how's it any different?"

"It's completely different! Before he was looking at you with a friendly, you're my fellow student type of interest and now he's looking at you as a potential girlfriend!"

"Yeah, or a clown with all this bloody make-up!"

"Hey! I worked hard on that!" Clara piped up.

"Just let her do it, Mione."

"Yeah, you need to be going soon," Sarah reminded her, winking, "Can't be late for dear old Lucie, can we?"

"He's not old! He's in seventh year! At least I'm not in detention for getting caught doing god knows what in the quidditch-broom closet with a certain Hufflepuff."

"No, but you are being chased by two seventh year Slytherins and thoroughly harassed by a sexy-arsed Black with a certain reputation," Mary winked, elbowing her sister suggestively.

"I never knew Regulus was interested in me," Hermione mocked, "How interesting."

"Please, there is so much sexual chemistry between you and Sirius Black it's unbearable."

"No, he's unbearable!" Hermione huffed, "And that 'sexual tension' is anger, pure unbridled fury. We hate each other and there's no way you are convincing me otherwise."

"There's something there," Clara agreed, ignoring Hermione's waving arms and furious expression, "Not sure if it's love or lust, though."

"Right, that's it!" she grumbled, "I'm going to meet Lucius now, without this crap on."

"Oh, stop fussing Mione, we're just trying to be nice."

"Yeah Minne, I'm trying my best to make you look nice, the least you could do is appreciate it!" Mary crossed her arms and frowned.

"Yeah, well I'm going to be late, and all I'm doing is meeting him in the kitchens. I'll see you soon."

"You're telling us everything when you get back!" Clara called to her as she shut the door of the Gryffindors' dorm.

Making his way from the great hall toward the kitchens, Sirius sighed.

"What am I doing?" he asked himself frustratedly, "I don't even care about her."

He knew Pritchard; he'd been a pain in his arse at almost every quidditch match he'd played, being his rival on the pitch and the Slytherin beater. He'd been known for his cruel vengance and there had been more than one occasion Sirius and the other Gryffindor beater had been subject to his cracking hits.

Walking up to the painting of the fruit bowl, he breathed, thinking of how he could ruin the bastard. Tickling the pear he grasped his wand and entered the kitchens.

"Who- Black, what are you doing here?" the prick asked, looking toward the portrait hole, "Where's Hermione?"

Sirius' eyes narrowed, "What do you think you are doing with Evans?"

Oliver's smile fell, and he looked to the younger boy in confusion, "Um… meeting her? Is she not coming?"

"Why are you sending her notes, asking her to meet you? Don't you know she's off limits?"

"Off limits? Marlin said she was single."

"Well she isn't, and that means you can go sniffing around, so back off."

"Who's she going out with, then?" he asked smugly, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall, "She'd never date you Black; she hates you."

"I don't want to date her!"

"Then why are you in here, trying to intimidate me?"

"I'm no-"

"What are you doing here Pritchard? Black?"

Sirius turned around to see his twat of a cousin-in-law, obviously dressed up for some tart, looking at the two with his signature scowl.

"I could ask you the same thing, Malfoy," Pritchard growled, stepping forward past Sirius to get to his housemate, "You usually just take your ditzes straight to the bedroom."

"Sorry, I didn't realise my date and I were to be interrupting your secret shagging," Lucius snarled, having come to the kitchens to meet Hermione.

"We aren't shagging!" Sirius boomed, though the two older boys ignored him.

"Well I arranged a date here too and I was here first, so bugger off."

"How juvenile," Lucius rolled his eyes, "I shall be staying here until my date arrives."

"Well I know for sure that Pritchard's date isn't coming," Sirius chuckled, looking over to the confused and annoyed boy, "So you may as well slither back to your snake pit."

"Hey!"

"And how've you managed to ensnare a girl into your scaly grasp, Malfoy? Is she imperioused?"

"This delectable woman is far from imperioused; I have no doubt Pritchard had to resort to that, though."

"Nah, I told you, Pritchard's girl isn't coming," Sirius said, laughing.

"No mate, she's here," he said, pointing to the pretty curls of a girl Sirius knew so well.

Hermione sighed and nervously pulled her skirt down further as she navigated her way to the kitchens from the hall.

'What if he doesn't show up?' she asked herself, biting her lip and breathing deeply in front of the door, 'Pull yourself together. It's just a date... you've done this before.'

She raised her hand to the pear, 'It's just Lucius.'

Swinging the door open, she smiled at the bright blonde locks of the seventh year.

"Hello Lucius," she smiled. He turned, still blocking out the rest of the kitchens and smirked creepily.

'What the hell?' she thought.

"You're meeting Evans?" a deep male voice she knew to be Black called out.

"No, she's here for me, aren't you?" an unfamiliar voice stated from behind Lucius. Confused, Hermione stepped past her date and into the kitchen, seeing the frustrating face of Black and the boy she'd been searching for looking befuddled.

"You!" she cried, pointing at him in surprise, "You're that guy!"

"That's Pritchard," Lucius drawled, stepping to stand behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders, "He's in my year darling."

"Shouldn't you know my name?" he asked, still confused, "I wrote it in your note."

"Note?"

"Yes, the letter I gave to Marlin, saying to meet me here, er now..." he trailed off at the scrunched brow of the girl, "You didn't get it?"

"No, not at all!" she shook her head, thinking where it'd gone. She'd have never accepted Lucius' invitation if she knew, "I wonder what she did with it?"

"Oh well, my name's Oliver," he smiled, winking, "Surely you remember me from transfiguration."

"Yes of course," she beamed, before glaring over to Black, "Only good thing about that day."

"Hey!"

"What are you even doing here?" she snarled, shrugging Lucius' icy grip off her, "Surely there's a quidditch closet or some blonde slut you should be occupying."

"I'm just here getting some food," he said innocently, "Take no notice of me."

"Oh no, you're not just here for the house elves' christmas pudding," she frowned, stepping closer to him, "You're up to something!"

"Nope, not me," he smirked confidently, stepping back so she couldn't attack. From Lucius' knowing smile, he already knew he was trying to break up her and Pritchard.

'Shit, that's why he asked her out,' he realised, narrowing his eyes.

"Then why were you interrogating me earlier about-"

"Remus!" he shouted, effectively shutting up Oliver, "Remus needed some chocolate and I must be getting back now."

"No way!" Hermione growled, "What are you doing?"

"Err, running away," he said quickly, before sprinting off.

"Sorry Oliver, Lucius, but I have some very important information to squeeze out of a certain dog, so I guess I'll you sometime soon," she apologised, before running out after him.

"That girl's amazing," Oliver sighed, much to the amusement of Malfoy.

"And those two are made for each other," he rolled his eyes at the boy's oblivious face, "I'm sorry to ruin your date, but I had to do it for my girlfriend, Narcissa, you see."

"What?" he asked confused, "Why would Narcissa want Black dating Hermione?"

"Well, he may be a blood traitor, but he is still family," Lucius chuckled, "Narcissa seems to find him important, so I do also."

There was a pause as Oliver thought over his words, "So I guess I can't ask her out again then."

"Well, there was mention of castration, and as lovely as that particular mud- muggleborn is, she's probably not worth that."

"Get back here Black!" she called after him, skirt swaying as she ran through the halls, "I'm going to catch you!"

"Now love, don't forget I'm faster!" he joked back, searching for a place to hide, taking a sharp left Hermione quickly followed.

"You compete arsehole!"

"BITCH!"

Sirius ran out of sight, and Hermione slowed to a walk, checking every nook and cranny for him.

"AAHH-mmm!" Hermione screamed as a hand came around her mouth and dragged her into a dark alcove, another arm wrapping tightly aroung her waist and squeezing teasingly.

"Now listen," his disgustingly smooth voice whispered in her ear, "You need to calm down.

"Mmm!" her muffled words made no sense, but he knew by her distracting wriggling that she wanted to be let go.

"I can't let you go till I know you won't be killing me," he breathed, making her shiver.

He felt so warm against her back, and she was overpowered by the scent of his aftershave, the panting breaths they were taking heightening her senses. She relaxed in his arms, releasing the tension in her body and sinking into him.

"Okay, now I'll let go."

True to his word, both arms were retracted, and as quickly as she was free, she spun around and whacked his arm hard. She looked so pretty when she was angry.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"Tell me what you did!"

"Nothing, nothing!" he said, earning another hit, "Alright, I might of taken your note, but he's a twat!"

"What!" she cried, "Are you mental!"

"No! Hey-" he shouted indignantly as she begun to pound on his chest, thumping him repeatedly, "Stop."

"No," she puffed out, still banging on him, "You're a bastard, you deserve it!"

She wasn't doing much damage, but it was quite annoying and Sirius had a quidditch match that weekend, "Get off."

"Why did you do it?" she demanded, stepping away from him.

"I- I don't know," he sighed, "I just, it was a good idea at the time."

"But you don't even care! You hate me!" she shouted, arms flailing "Was this just a ploy, some elaborate plan to humiliate me? Did you ask him to ask me out?"

"No, of course not!" he assured her, stepping closer as she looked up to him, her face flushed and hair curling wildly, "I just didn't want you dating him."

"Well why? It doesn't effect you!"

"I know, I-" he breathed, their faces almost touching, "I just wanted-"

"I don't care Black," she huffed, "Just leave me alone!"