Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews! This chapter was beta read LoganLuver101 (thank you!!!) Anywhos, enjoy!

edit: beta'd by Kimmae as well, thanks!

"You will never be strong enough. You will never be good enough...
They'll never see. I'll never be." --- Evanescence

Lies

I've been told we are our own worst critics. We think the worst of ourselves and assume that's what other people think of us. I tell myself a lot of negative things, as I'm sure everyone does. Oh, sure, there are some overly happy optimists out there, but the majority? We, especially girls, tend to look in the mirror and hate what we see.

Right now I am staring at my reflection. I'm still adjusting to my new undercover look. It's amazing what a little hair dye and scissors can do. I see my eyes, but they look more lost than ever. I look ten years older since I left. I feel older, too, but at the same time, I feel extremely immature. All I'm doing is running away from my problems. Suddenly, I hear Logan's voice inside my head. He's giving me a lecture. He's yelling, he's saying things that hurt my soul.

'You are so childish, Marie,' he says. He screams. My ears are burning and so are my eyes. Then, he starts talking about my feelings for him. 'What made you think I'd like you like that? Huh? Because I was nice to you? Because I was there for you?' All these insecurities of mine kept pouring themselves out in Logan's voice.

I wanted to pull my skin apart, shed it like a snake. This disguise was not enough to hide myself from me. I wanted to slip into someone else's body. I wish instead of having a deadly touch, I could transform into someone else. I'm so tired of being me.

I thought I had escaped all of this when I came here. I guess in a way, I have. I'm living a different life. I'm watching and teaching beautiful children. I feel happy when I'm around them and almost feel young again. They ask why I'm always wearing gloves. I tell them because my hands are always cold.

Yesterday, as I was watching the little kids play, I imagined what it would be like to have children. I doubt that's even possible, but I lost myself in a dream. I told myself I wouldn't think of Logan, but I imagined him and I being married and having little kids. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"If you're listening to this," I hear a voice say from the living room. I jump about two feet in the air and let out a scream. I know that voice. How is it here? What is going on? I run out to the living room to see Storm on the television screen. She has tears in her eyes and there's a picture of me in a split-screen beside her.

"Everyone misses you. And we really—" before Storm can continue, Logan finds his way to the cameras.

"Please, come home! You don't have to be afraid."

My heart stops and I melt. Don't be afraid? I feel like he can see me right now. I'm scared to death. I'm afraid he can find out where I am. Oh, but I know they have ways of doing that. They could find me... and they just might soon. But its not like I'm in danger, so why would they go through the trouble?

Part of me is happy they care enough to look for me. Part of me wants to go back. I lock that part away though, and turn off the TV.

I get ready for work. I hope nobody recognizes me. No, no, they can't. I saw that person in the mirror staring back at me. She looks nothing like the girl's picture on TV. Nothing at all.

At the Foster's house I begin cleaning and looking after the baby, Angel. Thirty minutes into my day there, I notice Lisa, the eldest, is crying. Her tears make me remember the tears I saw in Storm's eyes. I feel guilt weigh on me. 'See what you've caused.' that voice says again, 'look what you've done. All you do is cause pain.'

"What's wrong, Lisa?" I ask.

"My boyfriend broke up with me." She chokes.

"I'm sorry. Boys...they really know how to break your heart."

"Ya think? I mean we've been dating for two weeks and he decides to kiss my best friend. And they both have the nerve to act like its no big deal. I feel like such a fool!"

"It could be worse." I sigh, and think of my current situation. You could have the most amazing boyfriend possible, but not love him. Not in the way you should love him. You could be in love with a man, who if anything, is more like a father figure to you than a potential could be me, a mutant, not able to touch the one you love; even if it is just for a hug.

These thoughts flied through my mind like a swarm of bees. Each thought was giving me a painful sting as a reminder of who I am. At times I feel like Logan must care about me. Something in his eyes suggests it. I think that he's afraid to let me in. Then I feel ashamed and foolish for even thinking that. I tell myself it's a lie, Logan doesn't care. There is nothing suggestive in his eyes, his moves, or his words. It's just my heart trying to satisfy me. It's just my heart lying to me.