Before the Boy Who Lived
A/N: Hi everybody! ("Hi Doctor Nick!" Tee hee.) Wow, I think I'm getting the hang of this "update in less than a month" concept, don't you think:)…CRAP! I take it all back, or else I'll jinx it! You didn't hear anything. (BTW: Am sugar high once again. Obviously. I've had to survive on ice cream for the past two days (is that really a bad thing?) because I got my bottom braces on Friday. Blah…my teeth hurt. Do me a favor and review. OR ELSE.
:smiles manically:
Disclaimer: Me? Own Harry Potter? Or those lyrics? Whatever gave you that idea
:Hastily hides blonde wig behind back:
Dedications: Anybody who is still reading this after that insane author's note. ;)
Chapter 11: My Happy Ending
"You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
Well so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were everything I thought I knew
And I thought we could be."
(My Happy Ending, Avril Lavigne)
It happened again. That night toward the end of September, the twenty-ninth to be exact, I had gone up to the Marauders and tried once again to get Remus to actually spend some time with me, and not James, Sirius, and Peter. I mean, I just felt so…left out. I just wanted to hang out with them; it wasn't like I wanted to marry them. Anyway, the clincher was, when I walked up, I'm almost 100 sure I saw Sirius and Peter glaring at me. Of course when I asked, Remus declined ever so politely. Again. Those boys were really starting to bug me.
Throwing myself into a tall crimson armchair by the fire next to where Adara was scribbling the end of her Charms essay, I folded my arms over my chest and sighed angrily. Trying desperately to get them out of my head, I picked up a random book lying on the table and started reading. It didn't work. Two seconds later, I threw the book back down and glared at the offending boys across the room.
I heard tinkling laughter from the chair beside me, "Lily, you're going to burn a hole in their heads if you keep staring at them like that."
A smirk crossed my face. "Your point being?"
Adara rolled her eyes fondly and shoved her paper at me. "Here, get your mind off Marauders for a sec. Check my essay, will you?"
"It's fine," I replied after a quick glance at it, my eyes unconsciously drifting back toward the Marauders' corner.
"GAH!" I shrieked when I realized what I was doing, slumping down in my chair and covering my eyes with my right hand. Meanwhile, next to me, Adara was too busy laughing her head off to spare me any sympathy.
"Hey Lils, you want to know what I think?" she asked.
"Enlighten me." I muttered.
"I think you're jealous."
"WHAT?" I shouted, my hand falling to my side, "Why would I be jealous of them of all people? So what, they can get away with almost anything, and they're really popular, and really smart, what's the big deal—"
"OKAY! Okay, I get it," Adara interrupted, "It was just a suggestion. I just don't understand why you would be so obsessed with spending time with them if you weren't, like, jealous or something. You didn't even know Remmy for that long. It doesn't make sense. Unless…do you like one of them?"
"What exactly are you suggesting?"
She grinned, "You know, do you think one of them is hot?"
I was speechless, but my cheeks betrayed me by instantly turning deep red. Stupid pale skin.
"Aha!" she shouted, "I knew it! Spill, which one is it? Remus?"
Getting my voice back, I exclaimed, "NO! We're just friends. I don't like any of them. Not like that…"
She pouted. "Oh come on Lily. You can tell me. I'm your best friend!"
Covering my face with a nearby pillow, I mumbled an answer. Adara put a hand to her ear. "Sorry Lils, the people in the cheap seats couldn't hear you."
Yanking her closer, I whispered, "All right, I'll admit it…James is kind of cute."
She squealed and started doing what I learned to be the "Adara was right dance", attracting confused stares from everyone in the common room. When she calmed down, she sat down gracefully on the floor beside my chair and continued in a therapist's voice, "Good, good. This explains the lost puppy behavior. If you're after two of them, you would pursue them more…tirelessly."
I snorted. "I'm not 'after' James."
"Well you should be!" Adara responded, "You two would look so cute together, and then you'd be able to spend more time with your pal Remmy too."
As much as I hated to admit it, Adara was probably right. I would get to spend some more time with Remus that way, and anyway, James wasn't so bad either. I shook myself out of my thoughts when I realized she was talking again.
"Are you going to ask him out?"
"How did we even get into this conversation, I thought—"
She shook her head and plowed on, "Don't avoid the question. Are you?"
"I dunno." I mumbled.
"I think you should."
"Really? You think so?"
"I know so. Come on, let's go to bed," she yawned as she stretched, "You can talk to Remmy or Lover boy tomorrow."
Blushing like mad, I followed her up the stairs toward the girl's dorms. Cautiously, I threw one more glance at the Marauder's corner. Maybe Adara was right.
The next day, I bumped into Remus by chance. We were doing in class projects in Transfiguration, and McGonagall happened to pair us up for the day.
"Hey Lily," he greeted as he flopped into the chair next to me.
"Oh, you're talking to me now, huh?" I asked coldly, determinedly not looking at him.
"What? Lily, you know it's not like—"he broke off suddenly, coughing so hard that my icy countenance melted away instantly, and I looked over at him, worry plainly etched on my face.
"Remus? Remus, are you okay?" I asked frantically.
His coughing finally subsided and he nodded, leaning back in his seat as he closed his eyes tiredly. That's when I got my first good look at him. At first, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was even paler than normal; his skin almost like wax, and it looked like he had a fever. There were huge bags under his eyes too. Was he sleeping at all?
"Remus," I began nervously, "Maybe we should take you to the Hospital Wing. You don't look so good."
Slowly, he lifted his head and looked at me, pain showing through his amber eyes. "No, it's okay Lily, I'm fine. I think I might be catching the flu or something. Maybe I'll stop by and see Pomfrey about it later."
I wasn't convinced. He looked like he was about to collapse. What could be wrong with him? I can tell you one thing, it definitely wasn't the flu.
"Remus—"
"It's fine."
And that's all we said on the subject. In fact, that's all we said period. Silently, we finished McGonagall's assignment, and then at the end of class, we went our separate ways. I was still worried.
By October first, I was more worried then ever. Remus was missing. I looked everywhere for him. The library, the boy's dorms, the lake, the Owlery; he wasn't anywhere! He wasn't even in class that day. But worst of all, I never saw him with the other Marauders, and they're practically attached at the hip now. Where else could he be?
As I ran though the corridors later that afternoon asking if anyone had seen him, terrible thoughts kept running through my head. What if something had happened to him? What if he had passed out in some room in the castle and no one found him until…It was too much to even think about.
Just then, I spotted one of our mutual friends from Ravenclaw, Dorcas Meadowes. Maybe she knew what happened to Remus.
"Dorcas!" I cried, catching her attention and stopping her before she disappeared around a corner.
"Lily, what's wrong? Did somebody die or something? You look terrible!"
"Dorcas—have—you—seen—Remus?" I panted, holding my aching side.
She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, you didn't hear?" Dorcas began offhandedly, "Merlin, I thought you would have been the first to know. Remus is in the Hospital Wing. He's pretty beat up, but he won't tell anyone what happened. Wonder why…"
Without giving her a chance to finish, I spun around and started sprinting in the opposite direction, toward the Hospital Wing. All I could do now was pray that Remus was okay.
Ten minutes later, I burst into the Hospital Wing, completely out of breath. It was as silent as a graveyard. Looking around, I noticed that all the beds were empty, save for one at the end of the wing by the window. Three of the Marauders were standing around it, straight backed and tense, with shocked expressions painted on their faces.
"Remus!" I exclaimed, realizing that I found him at last. Why didn't I think to look here in the first place? As I walked closer, the three boys around Remus' bed stared down (or in Peter's case up) at me grimly. Ignoring them completely, I kept moving towards Remus.
"Oh Remus, what happened?" I asked softly as I took in all the cuts and bruises on him, "I told you. You should have come to the Hospital Wing earlier." I moved in to give him a gentle hug when Sirius grabbed me by the arm and yanked me back.
"Don't touch him Evans," he growled.
"Why not?"
"Because he's hurt. Even you aren't that blind, I hope. Besides, what happened to him is none of your business."
Incensed, I glared up at him. Then, poking him in the chest, I reminded, "For your information Black, it is too my business. Remus is my friend."
With a scowl, Sirius continued, "No, he's OUR friend, and he doesn't want to tell anyone else what happened!"
"Oh, so he'll tell you but he won't tell me? Fat chance Black!" I screamed, "We were friends from the start, in case you forgot! Of course he'll tell me, won't you Remus?"
Silence filled the wing.
"Remus?" I asked again, not believing my ears. When I turned to look at him, he averted his gaze.
"Remus…C'mon, talk to me. P-please?"
He wouldn't even look up. Tears prickled the back of my eyes. Why wouldn't he just tell me?
Sirius was smiling smugly at me, Peter doing a poor imitation on my other side. James was having a hushed conversation with Remus that stopped as soon as I looked over at them.
Backing away, I shook my head. Hurt suddenly flared up into anger. "Fine," I whispered, deathly calm, "Fine Remus, if you want them, you can have them. It's obvious you don't want me around."
He looked up with sad, guilty eyes as he realized what was going on. "Lily, I—"
"Save it, Remus. If you don't want to talk to me, I just won't talk to you. Hope you're happy now." And I turned around and walked out, leaving everything as silent as it was when I first arrived, guilt hanging heavily in the air.
A/N: Okay, okay I know it's a little shorter than normal. But it's really only a transition chapter anyway; the next chapter is going to be longer, promise.I don't think Ireally like this chapter much…tell me what you think.
Later!
Shannon