Author's note: This is a long one, but I felt it had to be. This is graduation and a little into the summer after it. Enjoy!
Chapter 10: Set the Fire to the Third Bar
June 2012:
June 1st 2012: Graduation day has finally arrived and all of the kids are dressed in their caps and gowns. Quinn gives her valedictorian speech, and they all receive their diplomas. Quinn feels a bittersweet sense of contentment, knowing that she and all her fellow Glee clubbers are about to start their own lives, scattered about the country. Rachel would (of course) be attending Julliard and following her Broadway ambitions in New York City. Finn had a football scholarship to Duke, as the McKinley football team had finally started winning games their junior year. Mike and Brittany were headed out to California to audition for So You Think You Can Dance. Tina, Kurt and Mercedes were headed to the Rhode Island School of Design to study fashion. Artie would be attending Kent State to study science, in the hopes that he can someday cure paralysis. Santana had won a cheerleading scholarship to Youngstown State University, where she would be studying Spanish. Puck had been awarded a full ride to UCLA for music, and would be leaving within the next couple of weeks to be a part of their summer music program. And Quinn? Well, Quinn was headed to Columbia University, on full scholarship, to study journalism. As she looked out at her classmates, she couldn't help but smile, and revel in how far they had all come.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I PRESENT TO YOU, WILLIAM MCKINLEY HIGH'S CLASS OF 2012!"
After the ceremony, Quinn says a few quick hellos, before heading to meet her mother. On her way, she runs into Puck. They hug. "Congratulations!" They both squeal. "You goin to Britt's thing tonight?" Puck asks. "Yea, of course. I wouldn't miss it." "Cool. I'll see you there." "Yea, sounds good. Oh hey, Puck? You think we could talk later? I just have a few things to get off my chest." "Course, Quinn. See you tonight."
Later that night, the whole graduating class has gathered at Brittany's house for a graduation party. Quinn had taken great care in choosing her outfit, anticipating her talk with Puck. Things had been weird between them since their break-up. Both had convinced themselves that this last break-up was truly THE LAST BREAKUP, but with their college plans on opposite sides of the country, she feared this would be their last opportunity to hash things out. She does a lap around the house, stopping every minute or so to hug a classmate, or hear them tell her how much they loved her valedictorian speech. Alas, Puck is nowhere to be found, so she grabs a beer from the fridge, and quickly downs it. She's about to get another when she hears Brittany's voice behind her. "Quinnnnnn we're doing tequila shots. Let's goooooo!" 'Hell,' she thinks, as she takes the shot from Britt's hand. 'It's graduation night. If I can't let loose tonight, when can I?'
3 shots later, she spots Finn across the room and waves him over. They hug, and congratulate each other on their achievements, then Quinn asks, "Hey Finn, have you seen Puck?" "Yea, I think he's upstairs with Santana…they sure don't waste any time…" Quinn glares at him. "Seriously?" Finn shrugs, "I dunno. I thought I saw them go up there like two minutes after I got here." Quinn sighs and sinks down to the couch. "I don't even care anymore! I just wanted us to have a conversation before I move halfway across the country, but as usual, sex is far more important." She stands up again, holding her head. "Ughhhh I need to lie down. Too much tequila…Finn, are you drunk too?" "I'm pretty drunk, but not clearly not as drunk as you. How about I bring you up to Britt's room and you can sleep it off?" Finn asks, holding out a hand to steady her. "Mmmmk." Quinn mumbles.
Quinn stumbles up the stairs, and almost falls a few times, but Finn catches her. She opens the first door she comes across, and finds herself in Brittany's guest room. "Tuck me in?" She asks Finn with a wink. He gives her a small smile, "Quinn…" "Shhhh." She places her finger over his mouth. "No talking…" She didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the anger at Puck, or something entirely different, but something made her press her lips to Finn's, something she hadn't done in over 2 years. He hesitated for a minute, and then leaned into the kiss. Before either really knew what was happening, they were laying on the bed together, moving together in a way they never had. "You-you sure?" Finn asks, and Quinn slowly nods. He helps her out of her dress as she unbuckles his belt loop, and pulls his shirt over his head. As he reaches for her underwear, she stops him. "Wait… do you have something?" "Oh right, of course!" Finn reaches down to grab his pants, and finds his wallet. "Got it." As the two discard the remaining articles of clothing separating them, Quinn looks up at the boy she once loved. He didn't look like such a boy anymore. 'It's kind of quaint, making love with your first love on the last night of high school.' She thinks. As if he read her mind, Finn says. "It's kinda cool that we end up like this. Ending high school together I mean. Cuz, well we kinda started high school together. Remember the freshman dance? 'Yea the dance I was supposed to go to with Puck.' She thinks, and disgusted with herself, pushes the thought of him out of her mind. "Finn, shh. Stop talking. I really, really want to do this…."
Meanwhile, downstairs, Puck is just arriving. He knows he's really late, but this was his first chance to break away from his mom and Angie. After graduation she had insisted on taking him out to dinner, and giving him his gifts. He knew she was trying to hold onto every moment she had with him before he left. "Two weeks, Noah. That's all I have left with you." She had said. As if he were dying or something. "Mom, I'm moving to California, not China." He said with a roll of his eyes. "Might as well be China..." After dinner, he had sat on the porch with Angie for awhile. "'Sposed to talk to Quinn tonight." He told her. Her ears perked up. "Oh? You finally gonna man up and tell her you want to get back together?" "Angie, I can't just tell her I want to get back together. Fuck! California and New York might as well be two different planets. We could barely stay together here, what makes us think we could do it long-distance?" "Noah, just tell her that you still love her, and you always will. God, stop being such a pussy." 'That girl is so much like me it's terrifying", he thinks back with a shudder.
The first thing he does when he gets to Brittany's is grabs a beer. 'This night will be a lot easier to deal with if I have a couple brews under my belt.' He thinks. He spots Brittany and gives her a hug. "Congrats, we did it!" Brit laughs. "Yea, I don't even know how I passed. I probably wouldn't have if Quinn and Santana hadn't let me copy off them." Puck shakes his head. That girl is dumb as rocks, but she sure knows how to throw a party. "Hey, you seen Quinn? We're supposed to talk…" "Yea, she was here a little while ago, but I don't think you'll be doing much talking. That girl is waaaaaaaasted! Actually, so am I. Wanna make out?" She jumps on him. "God, Britt. Tone it down, would ya? I just fucking got here. And no, I don't wanna make out. I should find Quinn." He looks around the whole house, to no avail. 'Britt said she was pretty drunk, maybe I'll check upstairs." He heads for the stairs.
When it's over, Quinn tries to hide her disappointment. It's not that it was bad, far from it actually. But something was just….missing. Quinn knew exactly what it was, but refused to admit it to herself. "Quinn….that was awesome." Finn had said, kissing her on the forehead. Quinn smiled. "Yea. It was really nice." He fell asleep pretty quickly after that, and Quinn was actually pretty relieved. She was all but sober now, and ready to get out of that room. The fact that Finn was sound asleep would just make getting the hell out of here that much easier.' God, I fucked up.' She thinks. What in the name of all that is holy possessed her to fall into bed with her ex-boyfriend? She quickly gathers her clothes and silently redresses, careful not to wake Finn. She plops a quick kiss on Finn's forehead. "Goodnight. Happy graduation." She whispers. She starts to leave the room, but jumps back in when she hears Santana's voice coming down the hall. She peeks out and catches a glimpse of Santana, arm in arm with….Matt Rutherford? 'What the HELL?' she thinks. 'Oh God, no. No, no, no.' She puts her head in her hands and sinks to the floor. 'Shit, shit shit! Why did I listen to Finn? Santana wasn't with Puck at all, she was with Matt. Oh I really fucked up.' When she hears Santana's feet hit the bottom of the stairs, she steps out of the door, and runs directly into Puck.
"Quinn! I've been looking everywhere for you! Britt said you were wasted, think you're coherent enough to talk?" "Uhm…yea, I've actually basically sobered up already. But, let's go outside and talk. It's such a beautiful night." "Alright" He smiles, and takes her arm to lead her outside. They walk out to Brittany's backyard and sit on the swings left over from her childhood. Neither of them speaks for a few minutes, until Puck speaks up. "I loved your speech today. It was really beautifully written." Quinn smiles. "Thank you. I spent a lot of time on it." The two are silent again, and swing for a few minutes. "We're supposed to be talking." Quinn says. "I know, but I don't know where to start." "I do have something I want to say. I-"He trails off. "You what, Noah?" It's the first time she's called him Noah in the longest time, and it comforts him slightly. "I- I don't know." "What do you want from me, Puck?" And just like that, it's back to "Puck" again. "I want you Quinn. Fuck! Don't you know how much I fucking love you? I always have, and I don't think I could stop even if I tried."
Your words in my memory, are like music to me
Quinn is floored by this revelation. She had no idea he still felt this way. "Quinn? Quinn, I'm standing here telling you I love you. Can you please say something?" She knows she has to come clean. She owes him at least that much. "I-I slept with Finn tonight." She says, so softly he can barely hear her. "You what?" "I had sex with Finn." Tears well up in her eyes. "I looked for you all night Puck. I thought you were with Santana in a bedroom somewhere." "Goddamn it Quinn, you know I haven't been with Santana in over a year." "And how would I know that? We never talk anymore. It's like the minute you broke up with me you dropped out of my life." "So what? You think that I'm with Santana so you go off and fuck my best friend? What the fuck Quinn?" "I made a mistake, Puck! I was upset and he was there and I just-""No! I don't want to hear about it, I don't want to think about it. In fact, I don't care if I never see or talk to you ever again." He storms off, leaving her alone to sob on the swings.
She didn't even get to tell him what she had wanted to, that Shelby had sent her pictures of Beth. Beautiful, perfect Beth, who had her mother's eyes and her daddy's smile. She was celebrating her second birthday the next week. When Quinn had received the photos, she had automatically gone to the local CVS and made copies for Puck. 'He has to see them.' She thinks. 'He has to see how well she's doing. He has to know we did the right thing back then.' So she pulls herself up, and forces herself to walk to Puck's house. She pulls the little envelope out of her purse and slips it into his mailbox. 'There, he'll find them tomorrow, and at least he will get to see his little girl.'
The next day, Puck is sitting on his porch playing his guitar when Angie gets home from soccer practice. "So, did you tell her?" "Yea, I told her." "And? What did she say, does she love you too?" "No, Ang. She doesn't." Angie hugs him. "I'm sorry Noah. But, at least you get to start over. In California! You're going to have a whole new life!" "Yea, I guess. Thanks Ang.' As Angie heads into the house, she looks over her shoulder. "Hey Noah? Check the mailbox." 'The fuck? What, she can't get her own mail anymore?' He's a little bit irritated, but stands up and reaches his hand in the mailbox. His hand brushes against an envelope, so he picks it up. 'Noah' is written on the front of it, in Quinn's handwriting. 'Goddamn it, what does she want from me?' He opens the envelope, to find photos. 'Beth.' He thinks. She looks just like Quinn, but she definitely has his smile. She's gorgeous.
Quinn's sitting on the porch poring over her Columbia course catalog when Puck's big black truck rolls up. She looks up in surprise. "I take it you found the pictures?" "Yea, I found them. Thank you. They were beautiful." Quinn nods. "She is, isn't she? That's what I wanted to talk to you about last night. Shelby sent them to me last week." Puck is quiet for awhile. "There's more." Quinn says, finally. "She invited us to her second birthday party next week. I know you probably wouldn't want to go with me, but I thought it might be nice to see her. Before we leave for college, I mean." "We should go." He says softly, knowing it'll break his heart to see that little girl in the flesh, but also knowing he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't go. Quinn smiles. "Ok, great. So the party is Saturday at noon. In the park." Puck nods. "Alright. I'll pick you up at 11:45, we can go together." "Ok. See you then." He gets back into his truck and drives off.
At 11:43 the following Saturday, Quinn is waiting on her front steps for Puck to arrive. She has chosen to wear a baby blue sundress, with black ballet flats and a blue headband. She nervously smoothes her dress. 11:44. 11:45. The minutes tick by, feeling like hours. At 11:57 Puck finally shows up in her driveway. "Sorry I'm late," He says as she climbs up into the cab of the truck. "Couldn't decide what to wear." "Noah Puckerman couldn't decide what to wear?" Quinn teases. "I was nervous….geez Quinn." After that neither of them says anything, and soon they're at the birthday party. They say hello to Shelby, before turning their attention to Beth, who is off playing with a rubber ball. "Beth, come over here sweetie. There are a couple people I'd like you to meet." Beth runs over and jumps into her mother's arms. "This is Quinn and Noah. Can you say Hello?" Beth gives them a shy smile, before burying her head into Shelby's shoulder. "Hi Beth," Quinn says softly. "We brought you a present." The two are happy to be able to spend time with Beth, but the party seems to end all too soon.
"So today was fun. Kind of bittersweet, but fun." Quinn says, as Puck drops her off. "Quinn…just don't." "Puck, we did the right thing." "Quinn, stop. I really don't want to do this right now." "Puck, about what you said the other night. I-""No. Today was nice, but it doesn't change anything. I still can barely look at you." "Puck please just let me explain." "It's a bit late for that." "Fine. Be a stubborn ass, see if I care." She gets out of the truck and slams the door behind her. He speeds off.
A week later, Puck packs up his truck and takes off for California, swearing to himself that he'll never look back.
Two months after that, Quinn and Rachel leave for New York City. Between the two of them, they had to rent a U-Haul, but it was better that than be unprepared in the big city. As they drive past Puck's house, a lump rises in Quinn's throat and soon she's in tears. "What's wrong?" Rachel asks. "You nervous?" "No." Quinn says, knowing she could never tell Rachel the true reason behind her tears. "I'm just really gonna miss Lima."
They're both happy, in their new apartments, in their new lives. But they can't help but think of each other, think of the screwed up way they left things. Quinn feels a strong sense of regret over not fighting more for Puck, and Puck kicks himself for not being more forgiving, or at least more understanding. Quinn looks out the window of her beautiful loft, wondering where Puck is, what he's doing, how he's doing. Little does she know he's standing, staring out the window of his little studio apartment in Los Angeles, wondering the very same thing about her.
I'm miles from where you are, I lay down on the cold ground and I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms