Chapter 11- sleep over Edwards POV

As I watched Bella talk about her parents being killed, she just completely zoned out. If I live a thousand more years I don't think I could ever forget the look on her face right now. There were so many emotions that crossed her face; love, sadness, loss, and anger. The way she stated long ago, made it sound like it happened decades ago not a mere twelve.

"Who killed them, how did it happen?" I knew subconsciously I shouldn't have asked these questions, it wasn't proper conversations you had with people. But I also couldn't help it, whoever caused her pain in any way I wanted to make them pay. This was crazy; I only knew this girl a short time and was already so protective of her. Alice I'm afraid was right this is my mate, I could feel it, and I just hadn't admitted it to myself.

I had moved closer to her on the couch to try and comfort her in some way, she in return leaned her head closer against the couch to me. I leaned my head back into the couch in so we only a foot apart. "It doesn't matter anymore." The sadness in her features was heartbreaking, why would she think it didn't matter. I reached out and as gently as I could ran my hand from her cheek bone to her chin. The jolt from her skin was the best thing I had ever felt in my entire existence. She had closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. I could tell by the flicker in her eye lids she felt the same surge of electricity run threw her as I did.

"Why on earth would it not matter? How did you at six handle being told your family were gone?" There was a flash of anger and something else, oh no. "You weren't told were you, you saw it?" she didn't have to answer I saw it in her eyes before she looked down at her hands in her lap. Instinctively I pulled her into my chest and held her there, there was no doubt this is where she belonged. "I'm sorry! Did they at least catch whoever did it? You weren't hurt were you?"

She let out a bitter laugh then turned her head to my shoulder to look up at me, "No they never caught them; and no I wasn't hurt. What do you have to be sorry about? It wasn't your fault, and it was a long time ago. I'm alright now; it just hurts to think about it all. Sorry, I talk way too much around you." Bella tried to pull herself up out of my arms, but I just squeezed her a little tighter to me. She smiled and relaxed again in my arms. I do think I will have to give Alice the ok to dig a little into Bella's past. I would like to know what leads they have into the killers and what all occurred. "What about your parents, do you remember them at all?" her voice was much quieter now, she was becoming drowsy.

"They died a long time ago as well, I don't remember them all that clearly though. It's kind of hazy memories of them." Her yawns were becoming more frequent now. "Are you ready to go to sleep now? You've had a long few days."

"As much as I hate to admit it I am pretty tired." She reluctantly sat up and then stood up before she stumbled. I steadied her with one hand as I quickly stood up and put my arm around her waist. "I'm fine, just stood up to fast again."

"Bella, with the risk of you going off on me again, you do have a fractured skull. You need to take it slow. Let me help you get to bed, or I can call Alice if you would feel more comfortable. I would feel so much better if you weren't left alone tonight, just to be on the safe side. Alice really wouldn't mind to sleep over; she's quite fond of you." I could see the conundrum running threw her head, I just need to push just a little more to get her to see my reasoning.

"I don't like being a nuisance to anyone, I will be alright." She didn't try to push me away or go off on me again, which was an improvement.

"Bella you're defiantly not a nuisance, I swear. You are also no trouble before you start down that road as well. If I didn't want to truly help you, I wouldn't have gone through all this trouble of making sure your safe and at home. I would have dropped you off at the curb and went home."

Her face was guarded; she was having a silent battle with herself. I just wish I knew what she was thinking right now for the billionth time today. "You would stay?" it was barley a whisper; if I wasn't a vampire I wouldn't have heard her. There was so much doubt in that simple question. Such a silly girl, if she knew how many nights I already stayed just to watch her sleep and talk she would have no doubt in that inquiry.

I laughed silently, "Silly Bella of course I would stay. If that's what you want, I don't want to make you uncomfortable?"

She chuckled, "I think you have quite the opposite effect on me, you seem to be calming me down a bit." This should be shocking to me; this isn't a normal human behavior. She should be on edge or trying to scurry away from me, not be comforted my me. But nothing about Bella is normal is it? She is way too observant and goes against every law of nature when it comes to my kind.

I helped her up the stairs, not that she really needed me to but I wasn't willing to part with her just yet. "I'm going to go get ready for bed. Are you sure you want to stay here with me tonight?" I quickly nodded my head yes. "Umm… where are you wanting to sleep?"

She had this worried look on her face. I didn't know if she wanted me to sleep on the couch or in her room on the floor or somewhere else, not that I was really going to sleep. "Where ever you want me to go?" she gave me a half smile.

"Charlie has some night pants if you want to borrow a pair and a tee shirt? You're a little taller than he was, and his shirts maybe a bit bigger on you. I just finished re-washing them all, I was going to see if Billy or Jacob Black would want any of them. Or I guess you could go home and get something." She was amusing when she was prattling on like this.

"If you wouldn't mind I can just borrow some night cloths, whatever is fine? I don't want to be any trouble."

Bella quickly went to the other bedroom and came back with a pair of red and black flannel pants and a black shirt with a bass on a fishing lure. "Sorry I remember Charlie wearing them and they were rolled up so I figured they might be long enough for you. Give me a sec to get some night cloths and you can change in my room." I had to laugh a bit her cheeks were flushed by now. She came out of her bedroom and left the door open for me to enter, I quickly changed. She was right the pants did fit, but the shirt was a bit on the larger side so I just put the white tank shirt I was wearing underneath of my button up on.

I started to call Alice to have her let Esme and Carlisle know I wouldn't be home tonight when my phone vibrated. I let them know, Carlisle said to be careful and Esme is excited, as am I. I'm so happy she let you stay. Don't forget to let me know how everything goes, tell Bella hi for me. Love Alice. I replied my thanks to her; I just needed to figure out what to do with the rest of my family.

I've went through her room before when she was sleeping but I really didn't look to well because she was much more fascinating to watch, or hear. She defiantly didn't have a cluttered room like I would pictures most teenagers. There was a rocking chair next to the window where I usually sat, a queen size bed with purple bedding, a desk with her desktop and stereo, a small dresser, a large amour, and a nightstand. She had a few pictures fames on her dresser; one was of her and Charlie with a tiny fish hanging Bella's fishing rod. You could see the pride in his eyes as he looked at her, she couldn't have been more then twelve in the picture. As I got closer I saw a small piece of glass behind the dresser, I leaned down to pick it up and saw more behind it. There was a broken picture frame, I pulled it out and saw Charlie with his arm around a eleven or twelve year old Bella and a women standing next to her looking at Bella with an odd sneer on her face. Now I understood why it was here, this must be Bella's adoptive mother. I sat the picture face down on the floor and began picking up the glass.

I was so lost in thought of Bella's vile mother and also picking up all the glass that I didn't hear the shower stop or the fact that Bella had just entered the room. Her scent was more potent after her shower, but it still wasn't a drawl to drink her blood. She was wearing a long sleeved dark blue tee shirt and pair of grey Capri sweet pants; who knew comfortable could look so good. She looked me over very carefully and slowly, which from the bright pink her cheeks were turning and slight smile, I assumed she liked what she saw. "What are you doing?" there was no anger in her voice just confusion.

"I'm sorry I was just looking at the photos and the light reflected off of something and caught my attention, I saw the glass and was picking it up. I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude on anything, I didn't want you to accidently step on anything." I hesitantly picked up the picture and frame then held it out to her. "I was going to throw it away, but I don't know what you want to do with it?" She took it and turned it over, anger flared in her eyes, and then she laughed. I was a bit confused to say the least, "what's funny?"

She flopped down on the corner of her bed and I joined her on the other side. "I really don't know why she even agreed to take me. I remember she was playing with a little blond haired girl with ringlets. Renee seemed happy with the girl and kept telling her how pretty she was. I think she just wanted someone cute to show off to her friends. She really wasn't happy with Charlie's choice with me. Charlie even told her that if she was admit about the blond haired girl they would try to get us both. Renee knew she couldn't handle one kid let alone two, so she agreed with Charlie's decision but wasn't happy about it as you can tell by the look of our first family photo together." She lay back on the mattress and laughed some more.

I lay back as well wanting to be as close to her as I could get by with, we were a few inches apart. I turned to face her, "how can you laugh about it, isn't it painful?" she always found ways to bewilder me, her reaction to things aren't normal.

She smiled and turned to face me. "It's easier to laugh about things then to cry about them, if I start to worrying about it or cry about it then I will just get depressed again. Did you call your parents?"

"Yes, Alice says to tell you hi by the way."

"They don't mind you staying the night at a girl's house all alone?" this amused her immensely, like I really needed permission to do anything.

"There fine, how are you feeling? You should probable get some rest." I pulled a stray hair behind her ear and her cheeks warmed again, I don't think I could ever get tired of doing that.

"Did you decide where you wanted to sleep?" right here I thought to myself.

I laughed, "where ever you put me?"

She looked back up to the ceiling trying to decide on something. I heard Alice's thoughts all off the sudden; she was in a tree across the street in front of Bella's window. Calm down Edward, I just wanted a peek since I can't see you guys. It was making me nerves. Are you blind by the way; she clearly wants you to stay with her she just doesn't know how to ask or is afraid you will reject her or something. I saw Alice having a vision of me yelling at her later about this, which I was planning on doing. I'm sorry Edward but you know I love her two and I don't want you messing this up. You can yell at me later if it will make you feel better. I'm leaving now and going to look up Bella's records for you, I saw you asking me tomorrow to do it. I will see you in the morning for our hunt; it's going to be extremely sunny tomorrow. And please enjoy your time with her and don't sulk. With that she was gone, I don't think I will yell at her now, she comes in handy. I also hated the thought of being apart from her this weekend, but the sun shining wouldn't really allow it.

"Bella," she turned back to me. "Do you want me to stay with you or would you be more comfortable if I went to the couch. I promise you I won't try anything, I am a complete gentleman. I would rather be closer to you though if you wouldn't mind?" Now it was my turn to feel insecure, which only lasted for about ten seconds when she got this bright smile. I couldn't help but smile back, it was contagious.

"I defiantly don't mind, and… I trust you." A thought came to her quickly because she jumped up, ran to her amour, opened the doors and pushed them to the sides to revel a large collection of books; I'm not sure where this is going. She tried to find the right words before she started, "I'm not sure how you sleep or anything but if you get bored or can't sleep there are some books, or TV downstairs." I was taken aback, what is she trying to say? Or could it just be meaningless? Did she know I didn't sleep, but how could she know? I'm sure I looked like a fool just staring off thinking about what she meant by it all. As she walked back to her side of the bed she reached out under my chin and closed my mouth. Bella chuckled as she said, "I was afraid you would swallow a fly." She moved the covers back and sat down in bed. "Are you sure you want to stay, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable?"

I smiled my crocked smile she seemed to like, well I assumed because every time I did it her heart speed up. "Defiantly not uncomfortable," I lifted just the comforter and laid on the sheets next to her.

She turned out the lamp on the nightstand and adjusted herself in bed to get comfortable. "I'm sorry about earlier, when I blew up on you at the hospital. I'm just not comfortable talking about my past with anyone. It's very easy talking with you and easy talking with Alice as well for some reason; but my past is my burden and I don't like sharing it." The pull I had towards her seemed to intensify for some reason. I wish I could ease her guilt or pain or whatever it is she is feeling.

She looked down into her hands that were pulled together in front of her. I lifted her chin up so I could see those chocolate brown eyes, "you have nothing to apologize for. It is I who should be doing so; it was inexcusable to intrude in your medical history. I just… wanted to know what had happened to you, who would do something like that to you? I understand if you don't want to talk about it and I won't push anymore about it if you don't want me to, but if you do want to talk about it then I am here to listen. No matter what it is, I will not think any different of you for it I assure you."

I thought that would make her feel a little better but her eyes turned so sad it was heartrending, what did I say to cause this. A tear formed it the corner of her eye and she tried to turn over away for me. Not thinking before I acted I pulled her into my chest with her back to me and her head under my arm. To my surprise she didn't fight me over it; she seemed to relax in my arms as the electrical current ran thru both our bodies. "Get some rest Bella," I leaned into her hair and breathed in her magical scent and hummed her lullaby.

Before she fell completely asleep she said, "Goodnight Edward, I'm sorry." Why would she say that?

"What are you sorry for love?" I don't know why I called her love but it did sounded perfectly natural to call her it?

She made a deep sigh, "for everything." Her breathing became slower as did her heart rate, she was completely asleep. I decided to close my eyes and concentrated on her breathing and match mine with hers, it was extremely relaxing.

Everything was right in the world with Bella in my arms. I've lived my entire existence thinking I was complete and I was contempt in that assumption. That was until this single creature shot threw my midnight sky like the brightest comet in the skies. It was like seeing the world in black and white; then Bella shows up with all the colors of the rainbow to brighten up my world. There was no way I would ever be the same, and that thought alone made me ecstatic.

It was a little after one in the morning when she started to whimper in her sleep. She hadn't moved an inch in my arms the entire night or made any sound other then breathing. "Please… go back… go back." I didn't know what to do yet so I gently rubbed her cheek. "No… stop… go…home… can handle them… you… get… safe…" she turned slightly towards me in the bed and grabbed my shirt. "No no no no… please no… my fault… all mine…" she started to sob, and then I gently shook her.

"Bella, Bella wake up… it's just a dream."

She took a deep quick breath before she opened her eyes, she looked completely lost. "Ma… Edward?" she closed her eyes and took several quick deep breaths, her heart was racing. She opened her eyes and looked deeply into mine. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Sometimes I have these kind of dreams, I'm fine better now."

She defiantly didn't look fine or better. It looked like she was still reliving the dream, what could it have been to frighten her so much. "What was your dream about?" I looked deep into her eyes hoping to find something there that could give me some answers.

Bella shook her head then tried to bury her head into my chest, but I took both sides of her head and held her face in front of my own. "I don't remember; it was nothing." The look didn't go out of her eyes. She remembered it and had it often; I remember her saying bits of the dream before.

"You're a horrible liar Miss. Swan. You almost get taken out by a van today and didn't look afraid of it, but this dream terrifies you. Please tell me, I want to help."

She was amused, "the van wasn't that scary." Her tone turned serious, "but some memories petrify me." She let out her breath and tried to take slow breaths to calm herself down.

"Who was the 'them' you thought you could handle? And what was your fault?" I fought the growl that was treating to come; it wouldn't be good to scare her.

"I should have known this wasn't a good idea." She muttered to herself. "I forgot I talk in my sleep." Crap she isn't going to let this happen (knowingly) again.

"Its fine really, I just want to know what happened, please." I tried to beg and plead with my eyes hoping to get through to her that I really did care and wanted to help.

"I will tell you the jest of it, but not the details. And for the life of me I really don't know why I'm even doing that. It was a long time ago, there was this…boy. He tried to protect me from something and ended up dying for it. It's just one of the things that haunt me from time to time." She looked down at my chest to avert her eyes.

If I had a heart beat it would have stopped in that instant. Was it not enough that she had to watch her real family get murdered but to also watch a boy get killed trying to save her. "What was he trying to save you from? What happened to them?" I know subconsciously this happened when she was younger, but the thought of her in any danger terrified me.

"Long story short without details, there no longer breathing and they got what they deserved."

This time I let her bury her head in my chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up painful memories." I put my other arm around her waist and pulled her as close as I could to me. "Why don't you try and get some more rest, you defiantly still need more? Carlisle can write you a note to excuse you from school tomorrow if you need to, I'm sure they would understand under the circumstances."

"I have a quiz tomorrow morning and we have the bio exam." Bella stayed nestled against my chest, just moving her head enough to talk.

"Well you have the bio exam I forgot were going hiking this weekend, we're leaving around nine or so and won't be back until Sunday." Damn sunshine…

"Oh... Kind of sucks that you won't be there." Her voice was a little sad, and her breathing was starting to even out again.

I let out a soft chuckle, "it does suck. Now go to sleep Bella." I started to hum her lullaby again to help her sleep; I still needed to work on an ending to it. After ten minutes or so she went back to sleep, but this time she slept peacefully threw the night.