Bonnie had no plans to attend the Annual Mystic Falls Dance. When Jeremy first told her about it, she wanted to decline. Actually, she did immediately decline his offer. The next day after he asked her, she sent him a text explaining why she could not go. But since Jeremy was so adamant on her coming, she was not surprised to receive a series of texts from Caroline.
You must go!
Don't make me come and get you, Bonnie Bennett :(
Please, you have to see my dress!
I have a great dress for you also.
Which lead to Bonnie texting Jeremy with a frown face emoji.
Now, she found herself in front of Tyler's house and she lived in regret already. Wrapping her arms around herself, she looked down at her dress. She was glad that she read Jeremy's text or she would have worn a nice long gown like she always did to these events, but apparently, Tyler wanted to do something different and make it a less formal event. Bonnie was dressed in a simple black dress that stopped short just above her knees. She added waves to her short bob and made sure she had a smoky brown eye makeup to go with her nude lips. Bonnie did not want to get too dressed up for the event, which she was glad for when she saw a few people pass by with casual clothes on. She shook her head with a laugh because she knew Caroline was probably having a fit.
Walking inside, Bonnie glanced around to see the people at the party, but mostly to avoid two people: Damon and Jeremy.
She did not tell Jeremy that she was coming because she did not want him to mistake this night as a date, or worst- a second chance. It's not that she did not love Jeremy anymore. He had a special place in her heart and she would always remember the special moments between them. Including the time in her death. But she was not ready to be in a relationship with him again. Not when she had plans to leave Mystic Falls after the summer was over. Especially not when her feelings were confused and she was suddenly attracted to a person she once hated.
As she stepped closer inside, she noticed that the party was strangely divided. To her left, it seemed like a regular house party. On her right, it was a more formal event. She watched as girls walked around in a variety of clothes including dresses, skirts, shorts, and jeans. And Bonnie must have been confused or she actually saw two DJs. Yes, Caroline should be having a fit.
"Bon!"
Bonnie turned to her left and saw Caroline moving towards her. She took in the dress that Caroline wore and could not help but think it looked beautiful. A little dressy compared to what everyone else wore, but still beautiful nonetheless. Caroline wore a dark purple sleeveless dress, that made her mid-section look pinched, and from there it flowed out at the bottom with ripples that looked like purple waves.
Caroline hugged Bonnie and then pulled back to look at the dress she wore. Caroline rolled her eyes looking displeased.
"Bonnie, you're not dressed for the occasion."
"Apparently, I am." She said as she gestured over to the girl who walked pass them in tight leather shorts. Scuffing, Caroline gave her a look.
"It's all Tyler's fault. I said that we should keep it formal but he said he didn't want to be all uptight like his parents." Caroline said with a growl. A woman walking pass them, carried a tray with champagne flutes. Caroline snatched one and gave her a smile Bonnie knew that she did not feel. The woman glanced at her offering her a glass, but Bonnie declined. She thought it would be best for her to stay away from liquor for a while.
Caroline grumbled, drinking the liquor from the glass in two gulps.
"Now I look like I'm going to prom and everyone else is going to a house party."
Caroline glanced down at Bonnie, eying her attire.
"Nice dress, by the way."
"Thanks."
Bonnie shook her head as she looked around, taking in everyone that was at the party. It was bigger than normal, a lot of old faces but a lot of new ones too. Bonnie was pretty sure that Tyler may have invited people from the next town over.
Her gaze continued to scan as everyone danced around her. She really wasn't that much in the mood to dance. She only came because Caroline begged her to. Caroline bounced next to her slightly dancing but Bonnie could tell that something was bothering her. When her gaze went inside of the living room, she caught Matt's eyes and smiled. He stood in the living room, perched against the banister, and waved at her. She waved back too but her cheeriness faltered when she saw the person that Matt was talking to turn around. That person was Jeremy and he took in the sight of her with a huge grin. Matt's blue eyes gazed back and forth at the both of them curiously and Bonnie knew then that Jeremy must have told him what had been going on between them.
Bonnie's hand dropped as she glanced over at Caroline, who was watching the situation unfold as well too.
"Oh god." She muttered. Now, she wished she would have taken a drink herself, but she had one too many drunken nights for a week.
"Bonnie," Caroline called.
"Hmm."
"Why are you and Jeremy not dating again?"
Bonnie sighed. Turning the view of her body away from Jeremy's sight, she knew that he was probably going to be making his way over soon.
"I just need to be by myself for a while. I still love Jeremy but I-"
"You need space." Caroline finished. Bonnie nodded.
"I understand." Caroline stated somberly and Bonnie whipped her head in Caroline's direction. Caroline was never… that understanding unless…
"How are things going with you and Tyler again?" Bonnie asked. Caroline paused in her shimmy dance. But before she could respond, Jeremy grabbed Bonnie's wrist.
"Bonnie, you came." He said. Caroline's blue eyes flickered back and forth between them and she gave off a laugh that sounded incredibly unbelievable. Bonnie grimaced at the awkwardness of the situation.
"Hey Jeremy." Caroline said, fake cheeriness thick in her voice.
"Hey."
The only thing that could be heard was the bass of the music and teens laughing, as an awkward silence settled between them.
"Well, I'm going to find Tyler."
Bonnie's eyes widened in disbelief as she watched Caroline walk away towards another room. Bonnie closed her eyes. She came because Caroline begged her to come and then Caroline just disappears.
"Bonnie."
Bonnie opened her eyes and looked at Jeremy. He was smiling at her and had yet to remove his hand from her arm.
"I'm glad you came. You look beautiful."
Bonnie smiled.
"Caroline begged me to come, so I'm here."
"Well whatever the reason, I'm still glad you're here. Want to dance?"
"I'm sorry, Jer." She said with a shake of her head.
She would not do anything to lead him to believe there was a chance at them rekindling their relationship. She also found that she did not like that it felt like he was pressuring her to do so.
Jeremy sighed letting go of her arm and placing his hands at his side.
"Gosh, Bonnie." He said. He looked like he was lost for words and Bonnie felt bad. But she would not give in to cuddle his feelings. It would not get them anywhere.
She turned heading towards the sitting area, where it seemed to be a neutral zone compared to the other two rooms. Surprisingly there was an empty seat over there. Bonnie was sure that Caroline would eventually pop back up. She wasn't surprised to find Jeremy trailing after her. Frowning, she sat on the random bar stool in the corner against the wall. Bonnie couldn't help but think that if Tyler's parents were here, they would be having a fit that people were making a mess of the house, and also that the bar stool definitely did not match anything in this part of the room.
It was quiet for a moment as Jeremy leaned against the wall. She decided to speak.
"I don't get it. Why are you like this?"
"Why am I like what?" He asked confused.
"You wanting us to be in a relationship so bad again."
Jeremy scrunched his nose at her words. She moved in her seat slightly to get a better view of him.
"Why do you think that's a problem?" Bonnie let out a chuckle and reached out to the woman, this time different with red hair, who was passing out the drinks. She grabbed one and got comfortable in her seat again. Taking a sip, she spoke again.
"It's not that I think it's a problem, Jer. It's just that I don't understand why you're acting like this. You weren't like this a month ago when I told you." He was surprisingly calm about it then. He seemed to want to press the situation at the time, but when she had made it clear that she wanted to be single, he accepted it. He was different now. He was pushing more and being more aggressive than he had ever been in their relationship. Aggressive was not a word that Bonnie usually associated with Jeremy, but recently he had been. Calm accepting Jeremy was gone, and now she was dealing with this. She was curious to know why.
Jeremy seemed to think about this for a moment. He hesitated, mouth opening but closing abruptly. That made Bonnie more curious to know what he was thinking. Bonnie raised an eyebrow in question and he laughed nervously.
"So, what is it?" She pressed.
"I- I notice that Damon-"
A chuckle escaped her lips in disbelief. This is what this was about?
"Excuse me?" She asked. She must have heard him wrong.
"Wait. Hear me out. When you said that you wanted to break up I thought it was going to be a short break. I thought you needed time to yourself after everything happened but in the end, we would be together again. But then this whole thing with Damon happened and you've been acting weird."
Bonnie's eyes went wide at his words. Annoyance was rippling through her and she found herself gritting her teeth to stop herself from lashing out. She stood up from her seat. Bonnie took a deep breath before speaking again.
"So, you're telling me that you have been acting like this because of Damon. And what is that supposed to mean that I have been acting strange?"
"Bonnie, he's constantly flirting with you. I can't trust him around you. This is Damon here. He's not obsessed with my sister anymore. And he has made it obvious that he wants you-"
"But what does that have to do with me? How am I acting strange?" Her voice raised a little and in the corner of her eye, she could see some people glancing towards them. Bonnie sighed. She must have been loud if people could hear her over the booming music. Jeremy let out a distressed sigh, frustration becoming clear in his voice.
"I did not mean it like that, Bonnie. It's just that-"
"-Just what?"
"You don't seem like you've actually been pushing him off." He yelled. Bonnie took a step back looking at Jeremy in disbelief. She did not know why she felt so angry when it was true. She didn't bother to stop Damon's advances, well not seriously anyway. But it annoyed her because she tried.
She tried to ignore Damon with everything in her. But he did something to her. He made her feel things that she would normally not feel. He made her question herself and the things she did. He made her want things for herself that she did not want before.
Damon Salvatore made her want to be selfish.
But she ignored of the all those feelings, all the want, and need for the people she cared for and Damon. Though Damon did not remember Elena, one day he would, and when those feelings for her came back he would resent Bonnie for having sex with him that night.
She did not know how she got herself in this position but this was the last thing that she wanted to hear from Jeremy. She did not owe him anything. They were not together anymore, and even though at the time, she did once she herself possibly being in a relationship again with Jeremy in the near future; it annoyed her that it took Damon Salvatore flirting with her for Jeremy to ever make a step in their relationship.
Turning around, she went to leave but he grabbed her wrist. Bonnie turned back glaring at his hand that was wrapped tightly around her. Looking up at his face, Jeremy looked frustrated, nostrils flaring.
"Jeremy, get off of me." She said, green eyes staring at him coldly. He stared at her for a second before letting go.
"Bonnie, I did not mean it that way but I see the way he looks at you. I'm scared that this is it for us."
A tiny inkling of sadness coursed through her but it was not for Jeremy. Her patience was running thin every moment he spoke. She was tired of him continuously pushing her towards a relationship that she did not want anymore. But the sadness she felt was for herself, her pride. Why did he think that Damon could get to her? Did he think her to be weak? Was her resolve not strong enough? Did he really think that she would hurt Elena?
And then a brief flash of that night hit her. The sweat and the heat all at once. That night she was a different Bonnie. She wasn't Bonnie who cared for her friend's happiness, possibly more than herself. But she was Bonnie who had wants and needs that she put before other people. The thing was that Bonnie wasn't quite sure if she liked that new version of herself. Uncaring Bonnie who had sex with her best friend's boyfriend. Never in a million years did she imagine herself doing that to her best friends. Not Elena and Caroline who she grew up with her whole life. But now she had to deal with the memories of stolen kisses with Damon.
"Jeremy, this is it for us. And it's not because of Damon. It's because in this moment more than ever I realize why me and you are better off as friends."
Jeremy stared at her eyes now filled with hurt. The music continued to pound and everyone was having fun around them. People kept dancing, liquor was still being consumed, laughter was fresh in the room, and here she was staring at Jeremy wondering why she was here unhappy while everyone else is having the times of their lives. Jeremy did not speak and Bonnie could see him closing up. His guard was forming as he pushed himself away from her. He shook his head, staring at her as though he did not recognize her.
"Whatever, Bonnie." He said. The pang of sadness hit her as he walked away hurt but she tried to shake it off. Breaking up with someone would never be easy especially if feelings were still there. But if she did not tell him the way she did, Bonnie did not think that Jeremy would give up on the idea of the relationship.
The thought that nudged at her brain as she downed the rest of the champagne was that Jeremy would have never been like this if isn't wasn't for Damon taking an interest in her. That hurt.
Walking out of the sitting room, she placed the glass on a table and headed to the other side of the house. The side that was less formal. She could hear this DJ playing EDM music and it made her want to dance and let go. She saw Caroline in the middle of the room, eyes closed, bouncing up and down, dancing without a care.
Bonnie walked over to Caroline as grabbed her arm. Caroline's eyes popped open with a smile but she did not stop dancing.
"Hey! How did it go?" Caroline yelled over the music. Bonnie found herself slightly bouncing with her. The music was getting inside her toes and blooming throughout her body. She wanted to dance. She did not want to think of Jeremy anymore. Or Damon either. She just wanted to have fun.
"Disaster. Let's have fun!" Bonnie yelled and Caroline laughed. They both danced in the middle of the floor as people danced around them too. The music had become a mix of Pop, Rnb, and Rap. Bonnie danced against Caroline jokingly, shimming her ass against her, as though she was twerking. They both laughed. Bonnie ignored the guys that tried to dance with her. She was in the moment and wanted to have fun with her friend. She wanted to forget all of her worries and live in this moment.
"Hey, ladies can I join in?" Tyler asked as he bounced over to them, looking slightly unsure of himself. Matt was next to him. Caroline looked at him slightly peeved for a moment. It was just like Bonnie thought. They were obviously still having problems in their relationship but Bonnie did not want to deal with that either. Matt looked at Bonnie with a questioning gaze but she just shook her head and grabbed him. They both started to dance and when Bonnie looked over eventually Caroline was dancing with Tyler too. She ignored the heat as she danced next to Matt, both of them laughing as they did.
Bonnie realized that she missed her friends. She missed the fun moments that they used to have together. At one point, everything had been so easy. Things were simple before with them, just being teens and trying to survive High School. These were the moments that Bonnie longed for. Happiness. Fun. Excitement.
There was no drama between them as they all danced. She laughed her eyes taking in the fun around her. She was so into the moment that she almost missed it. The sight of it made her do a double take, faltering her movements. Matt looked at her strangely before looking in her direction.
"Are they together?" Caroline asked as she now stood close to Bonnie.
Elena and Damon had both walked in together, arm in arm. They must have gotten the memo about the attire of the party because Elena was dressed in a short red sleeveless dress. Damon was dressed in slacks and black long sleeve tee shirt. He was grinning as he walked in with Elena. His eyes searched through the party and Bonnie turned around abruptly.
"Hey! Let's keep partying!" She said and Tyler drunkenly yelled yes. Bonnie started to dance again but she was no longer feeling in the moment like she did before. She was aware of Damon's presence and that was the first mistake. She wanted to lie to herself and say that she did not care that Damon was there with Elena, but she did.
This is what scared her the most. She already found herself jealous at the sight of them together, so what would she do when he actually got his memories back and decided to be with Elena again. If she was jealous now, she could not imagine what she would be like if Damon actually stayed that night.
She imagined it often. What it would have been like to go to sleep that night in Damon's arms and wake up and see him there? What would have happened if their night how filtered out into the morning and they became entangled in each other's arms again?
Bonnie shook her head of those thoughts and continued to dance. She should have known this moment would have not lasted long.
"Hey guys!"
Bonnie stopped dancing along with Matt and turned to look at Elena and Damon who stood in front of them. Matt nodded at them and Tyler waved drunkenly.
"Hey Elena! Damon."
Damon rolled his eyes at Caroline's non-enthusiasm when saying his name. His gaze fell on Bonnie and his grinned turned into something else. It was mischievous and gave her the creeps.
"This is… a party" Elena said as she looked around the room and then looked down at the room across the hall that had a different DJ.
"I wanted it to more formal but Ty-" Caroline started by Tyler cut her off.
"-I wanted this to be a fucking party people. No suits. How am I supposed to dance in that?" He asked. Caroline rolled her eyes and Matt laughed. It was clear that someone needed to give Tyler some water.
"Why did you guys get here so late?" Matt asked.
"Well, Elena can't keep her hands off of me so it took us some time to get here." Damon said, eyes smiling and Elena blushed slapping his arm. Bonnie bristled at his words. She tried to keep her composure but the way that Damon's eyes kept meeting hers, she knew that he was purposely trying to piss her off. Matt looked at them with a smile but she could tell that Matt was bothered by it. Sometimes she felt bad for Matt, but other times she wished that he would get over it. Elena would never get back in a relationship with him. She was clearly in love with Damon from the way she leaned on him never letting his arm go.
"So, you got your memory back then?" Matt asked. Elena's smiled dimmed as Damon frowned.
"Way to ruin the moment, jock boy." He said with a shake of his head.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought-"
"It's okay, Matt. We're working on it".
We're as in we. The annoyance she felt at the sight of them turned into something else. She was tired of standing here watching them. And she felt uncomfortable being jealous of her best friend. It was not a feeling that she liked. She needed to get used to this. This is what she wanted. This is what world is supposed to be like. Elena for Damon, Caroline for Tyler, and Bonnie- she would eventually find the person that was right for her. But she was thankful for tonight realizing that person was not Jeremy. There were no more chances for them. They were over.
"Do you guys want any drinks?" The waiter asked, but this time her tray had something different then champagne. Bonnie realized that Tyler and Caroline set up for two completely different parties. Bonnie immediately shot out to grab a drink along with Tyler, but Caroline slapped his hand away. She gulped down the drink and realized that it was a shot of tequila. Before the lady could leave, she grabbed another one and downed it. Tequila was not the smoothest liquor but it went down well tonight and Bonnie embraced the heat in her throat and chest.
"Wow, Bonnie, that's a lot." She heard Elena say. She let the alcohol settle in and smiled.
"Why are we just standing here, guys? Let's have fun." She said. Tyler yelled again and she rolled her eyes at him. He began dancing wildly and Caroline seemed to be annoyed by him. Bonnie wondered how long this animosity between them would last. As her friends began to dance again, she slid out of the room. She was not ready to be next to Damon yet, especially when he was dancing with Elena. She walked into the other room where everything was much slower. The music was soft and something that you would dance slowly too. She found a place on the wall and kindly declined the boys who asked her to dance.
The drinks were getting to her now and she felt a little buzzed. She would leave soon but she wanted to enjoy her last few minutes here in peace, without seeing Damon and Elena, or thinking of Jeremy. She sighed closing her eyes as she drowned the music out. She envisioned what her life would be like in Los Angeles. It was different. She had never really been outside of Mystic Falls before. She could imagine the sun and seeing new people every day. That would be her life soon. A life outside of Mystic Falls.
"What are you thinking about, Bon-bon?"
Her eyes snapped open at the intrusion of Damon's voice in her mind. It ruined her vision. She took in Damon who now stood directly in front of her. Closer than he should have been, too closely actually and Bonnie put her hand up at his chest to push him back, but he only held her hand to his chest.
"Missed me, Bonnie?" He asked humor laced in his voice and eyes.
"Nope." She tugged her hand back but he only held on.
"Want to dance?"
"Ask Elena."
"I'm asking you, witch."
"And I'm telling you to ask Elena."
He stared her down, blue eyes piercing through her and she could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Strangely, the music was there no longer because she could only see him. Damon with his blue eyes that always captured everything in her. It made her want him. It made her need him. Bonnie continued to stare being stuck with hoping that he would ask her again or leave. She did not know why she wanted him to ask her again because her answer would be no, but that other part of her mind, the part that wanted Damon said different.
Ready to leave now, Bonnie was going to pull away from him even if she had to give him an aneurysm but Damon pulled her hand tugging her to the middle of the room. Bonnie gasped in shock when her body slammed into Damon's roughly and he snaked his arm around her waist holding her close. For a second, Bonnie struggled against his hold until she saw Matt standing across from them watching them curiously. His face was twisted with worry and confusion and Bonnie could tell that he would go tell the others, others being Jeremy.
Bonnie closed her eyes for a second, calming her emotions and then wrapped her arms around Damon's neck. Damon did not seem surprised though.
"Don't want jock boy running to tell your bestie Elena?" Bonnie decided to be honest.
"No. I don't want him to tell Jeremy. He doesn't like you so I'm pretty sure he would try to attack you, knowing he was once a vampire hunter and all." She said with a smirk. Damon looked at her with a grin. He clearly did not care about her threat.
"Jeremy couldn't hurt a fly," Bonnie raised an eyebrow. "Besides, Bonnie the Good Witch will protect me."
"And why would I do that?"
"Because you like me." Bonnie frowned at his words.
"When did I say that I liked you?
"Well, I never really took you as a girl to have sex with someone you didn't like." Eyes wide from his words, Bonnie glared at him. She felt him shrug under her arms.
"What?"
"Damon," She warned, eyes glancing around the room to make sure none of her friendly vampires were around, especially Elena. "Don't bring it up again. It was a mistake."
Damon rolled his eyes at her words, titling his head back.
"Now, how many times are you going to say that? Until you believe it?"
"It meant nothing." She lied. It meant something because she could not stop thinking about her night with Damon. It plagued her thoughts and she could barely copy the notes for class without writing Damon's name down. He was inside of her mind now and Bonnie hated it.
"Is that so?" He asked. Bonnie nodded and looked away watching the people as they danced around them. Now, she wished she would have taken that guy up on his offer earlier. She jumped when he pushed her closer and she glared at him. She tried to put distance between them but he would not let her go.
"Where is your boy-toy?"
She did not reply. Maybe if she became mute he would not be so interested in bothering her anymore.
"No answer. Then should I tell-"
"-I don't know, Damon." He leaned in closer, resting his chin on her shoulder. Bonnie would never admit it to anyone but it felt good to be near him. In his arms. Next to him. She wanted to melt in his skin. He felt familiar to her. In all the other times, she talked to him, this Damon felt different. He felt old to her. Right now, in the moment he reminded her of the one she knew before.
"You want to know what I think?"
"No." She muttered and he chuckled breath swiping her cheek.
"I'm going to tell you anyway." He whispered directly in her ear. "I think you enjoyed it so much that every night you lie awake thinking of me, wanting me to fuck you again. You loved it and you want more but your scared of being happy."
Bonnie frowned, his words did not sit with her well.
"I'm scared of being happy?"
Damon lifted his head up to look at her and nodded once.
"I'm perfectly fine. I'm happy."
"Are you sure, bon-bon?"
"Yes. I'm sure. I'm happy."
"Then why are you running away from me?" He asked and pulled Bonnie away from him so she could do a twirl. He pulled her back immediately into him and held her from behind. He moved against her, chin resting on her neck. Bonnie could feel the heat spike in her.
"I'm not running away from you. There's nothing to run from. This will all be over soon."
"Do you really think I'm just going to forget about you?" Bonnie pulled away and turned around but he refused to let go of her waist.
"Yes. I do." Damon's eyes narrowed. "You're going to get your memory back because Stefan's never going to give up on you and Elena isn't either. You're going to remember every moment you had with Elena and then you're going to think about the few brief moments you had with me," Suddenly, they were no longer dancing but standing looking at each other. "And then you're going to run to her because you're in love with her. Not me."
"I'm not in lo-" Bonnie laughed. This was ridiculous. She wished that she could show him every last memory he ever had with Elena.
"But you are. You just don't remember it. You're driving me crazy here. Do you think that I want this? That I don't have things that I want for myself? That I don't want to be happy. I'm not purposely making myself unavailable to you. You are. You are Damon Salvatore. A man who is very much in love with my best friend. You live and breathe her. You care about no one else but her. You would murder everyone in this room if it kept her alive. You would risk my life for hers if it kept her alive. You just don't remember, but I do."
And then it suddenly came to her. Why this moment felt so familiar. Why in this moment he reminded her of the Old Damon.
"You remember when you asked me if Damon ever flirted with me before?" Damon nodded hesitantly opening his mouth but Bonnie continued before he could speak. She wanted him to listen to her. "One time, we were at a school dance and he danced with me. He was being typical Damon but for the briefest second, for just a tiny moment, I thought he might have been flirting with me. Not the typical flirting he does with everyone but actual flirting. It was weird but I didn't have long to dwell on that. Not when I saw how he looked at Elena. How far and willing he would go to protect her. Elena told me once. I know she didn't tell me this to hurt me but because she was trying to explain how she felt about you. Because no one could understand why she chose you over Stefan. You want to know what you told her?"
"No." He said immediately, but Bonnie could see that his eyes told a different story. He was curious to know what he said so she told him.
"You told Elena that if it came down between me and her, that you would gladly let me die." Bonnie felt the words tear at her heart when she said it. When Elena told her back then, it hadn't hurt as much. She didn't care for Damon so she was not surprised that he did not care for her either. But now with the way she felt for him, the thought that he said that ripped at her.
Damon did not say anything. His gaze fell to the floor and his arm dropped from her waist. Bonnie felt bad. She did not want to hurt him purposely but she wanted him to understand. She wanted him to see why there was no possibility of them.
"You love her, Damon." Bonnie ignored the disappointment in her voice. "You just don't remember."
Bonnie turned and left the room. It was her time to go. The fun and the drinks of the night left her. She headed to the door and ran into Caroline who grabbed her arm. She looked at her strangely and dread creped inside of her. She hoped that Caroline did not hear that conversation.
"Are you okay? I saw you talking to Damon but I couldn't hear anything because it was so loud. This party officially sucks." Bonnie laughed at Caroline's words but Caroline's gaze was still filled with worry.
"It wasn't that bad of a party. Tyler's having a good time." Caroline's face pinched at the sound of his name.
"Tyler is pissing me off, Bon. He's so…" Caroline's voice trailed off as she let out a frustrated sigh. Bonnie raised an eyebrow. At least someone understood how she felt.
"I hope everything works out with you and Tyler, Caroline. But I'm going to head back now-"
"Wait. You're leaving already? Why?" Caroline's gaze zoomed on her. "Did Damon do something to you?"
"No. I'm fine. I'm just tired and need to get some rest for class tomorrow."
"Are you sure, Bon-"
"I'm fine." Bonnie said firmly. She did not want to be hear any longer. The fun was gone and all she could think about vividly was that night at the 1960s Decade Dance when Damon danced with her. How the whole time he could only talk about Elena. How could she have possibly thought he was flirting with her?
Caroline nodded and Bonnie sighed. She gave a forced smile and walked out. She would hop in her car and go back to her dorm. And then she would sleep and try to forget this night ever happened. Wrapping her arms around herself, she was halfway through the driveway when Damon appeared in front of her. Bonnie clutched her chest gasping.
"What the hell, Damon? You scared the-"
Bonnie's words were cut off when he kissed her. His lips crushed against hers as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pushing her flush against him. She could feel every part of him as he pushed his tongue through her closed lips. A moan escaped her and she almost let her eyelids close, falling into the moment. But the thought of that night appeared. Damon asking her if she was still willing to do anything for Elena.
Bonnie pushed him away.
"Why did you do that?" She growled out and looked around but luckily everyone was inside.
"Bonnie, I want you."
Bonnie squeezed her eyes tight wishing she could close her ears as well too.
"Stop."
"I want y-"
"Stop."
"I want you-"
"Stop!" She yelled. Damon did not flinch. Bonnie felt shaky and she needed to get to her car and away from Damon. She needed to get away from him. She turned to leave but something told her to stay. She had to put an end to this.
Turning back around, Bonnie leveled her gaze on Damon.
"Why do you want me?"
"What?" He asked, slightly confused.
"Damon, you keep saying you want me. But what do you want from me?"
"You."
"That's not enough. Do you want to be my friend? Do you want to have sex with me? Do you love me?" She was surprised at herself when love slipped out. She meant to say like. Damon stared at her momentarily before he spoke again.
"I don't love you."
Bonnie let out a humorless laugh. She did not know why she was hurt. She didn't love him either.
"But I still want you."
"Excuse you?" The frown was etched on her face now and she did not think it would go away. "So, I'm supposed to risk it all because you want me? I'm supposed to risk losing my friends, the only family I have left in my life because you want me. Do you hear yourself? How selfish can you be?"
"What's wrong with being selfish?" Bonnie felt like her mind was going to explode. The anger in her was continuing to rise and Damon's blue eyes did not help. She wanted to set something on fire.
"Damon. I'm not a selfish person. I don't think only about myself. I think about other people. I think about the people that matter to me. You should try it one day." She bit out but Damon seemed to be unaffected by her words.
"Do they think about you?"
Just like that, the anger slipped away. Her bones felt weak and tired now. She really needed to rest. She did not know how to respond to that. She could not respond to that. She tried to open her mouth to speak but none of the words would come out.
"Bonnie, I might be selfish and I own up to that because I'm damn good at it, but maybe you should try it too. Try doing things for yourself and not for other people. Fuck them. What about you?"
Bonnie stared but did not speak. She was scared of the words that would tumble out. She suddenly felt warm.
"If you do something for yourself for once, witch. The world is not going to fall apart. Start caring about yourself for once."
Bonnie watched as he walked off and she walked limply to her car. This night took a toll on her and all she wanted to do was fall asleep. No more parties for her, for a while.