DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'Our Girl' or it's chararcters, they belong to the BBC.

Some lovely reviews again. Thank you. HOPE YOU LIKE THIS.

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This story originally had 20 chapters...I will attempt to finish it...WARNING...my stories are not always fluffy...and that I have been away from OG for sometime!

THANK YOU MUCH FOR THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS...

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SECRETS Part 2

Molly means well...dear Molly. If there was a woman in this world who deserves better, then it's her.

She's out in Africa at the moment, I do think about her everyday but...

Well, to be honest and I have to be brutally honest, because that's what all thoses touchy feelie therapists always keep informing me...I resent her at times.

Just yesterday I woke up from the most beautiful of dreams where I am playing a game of football on the beach with my son...and then I wake up and find that it's all in my mind and will never play out in the real world.

That's when I think to myself...WHY did she have to save me for? WHY did she have to get it so right then...she had fucked up a few times when I was first saddled with her on my watch, why couldn't it be then she fucked up...

How selfish am I

Me, myself and I. That just about sums me up very nicely at the moment.

I now look out at the garden in front of me...another day...another day of this...GOD I HATE LIFE.

Molly had her hand under her chin when she stopped reading it. She sat on the window seat leaning against the window with the diary in front of her. Of course she felt guilty reading Charles' private thoughts, but if she didn't she wouldn't know anything about what was going off in that head of his.

It wasn't too shocking. There was nothing written down that she didn't know or hadn't second guessed at anyway.

It was the 'God I hate life' bit that she wasn't happy about. He had written that a few times in the past but she had thought he might have gotten himself out of that rut by now.

She looked up up as her ears were pricked. There was movement in the hall, so she closed up the diary and jumped into the chair next to the fireplace. Charles wheeled himself in and his eyes landed on her.

"So...there you are"

Molly smiled and stood, "I couldn't sleep"

Charles shrugged and positioned himself at his desk, a hand over his diary, "I forget that the sun shines quite harshly in that room...but being out in Afghanistan and Africa, I didn't think it would bother you, I do apologise"

He looked at her.

Molly put on a brave smile and shrugged back, "I'd rather be in with you"

Charles glanced down to the floor, "You know how fidgity I am at present...It's best you sleep in the spare room..."

She bit her lip, she had been up early and had showered and dressed in a summer dress and let her hair fall around her.

He was sitting in a combat style vest and sweat pants, his hair was windswept and the stubble was getting thick on his mush.

She had made the effort...and he was looking like the lazy unwashed.

"So...it's gonna be a sunny day today...we could go to the beach or somefink", she suggested with a bright and breezy smile.

Charles turned like he was just remembering something, "I can't...I've got a cab coming to collect me later on this morning...I've got my physio session at the clinic"

"I could come with you"

"No...I don't want an audience, Dawes"

Molly looked towards the diary, he glanced down at it briefly and then looked up at her and forced on a smile, "Why don't you hit the shops...I'm sure there's allsorts of different ones in town...different from London I mean"

"Charles...", she cleared her throat and stepped forward, he backed away a little, "...do you even want me here? It's like I'm just some spare part...like you wouldn't even be bothered if I was to go into town and never came back..."

"Now you are just being paranoid"

"I don't think so...",and she walked out of the room, he sighed and then went to his desk drawer and pulled out the half bottle of whiskey, he uncapped the top and took a couple of long generous swigs before capping the bottle and putting it back into the drawer.

Molly entered the backroom that was on the ground floor, Charles bedroom. She went and sat on his bed and looked at the photos that sat on the windowsill. Him and his son. Him standing proud in his Army uniformbest.

His medals were resting on the mantel.

Where was this man? Was he ever coming back?

She could just walk away now. He wouldn't give a flipping toss anyway. She then stood up and feeling rather giddy and she rushed to the bathroom across the hall.

She was going to be sick!

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I hope you still like this, and as always, your opinions and reviews are paramount.