Blind Devotion

Chapter Eleven

As swimming consciousness began to return to him, the first thing he noticed was the light beating on the back of his eyelids.

As his eyes began to open, he'd been stunned into silence as sight came flooding back to him. He could see the white ceiling above him, dotted with the lighting fixtures. After managing to understand exactly what he was seeing, he turned his head to the side, taking in the living room around him. The wooden coffee table in front of him, the TV set up on the stand and the fireplace next to that. Everything was clear, in color, and there. His sight was back, save for the blurred edges that trailed off into grey smudges. Sanzo didn't care because the majority of his sight was back.

He jumped off the couch a little too quickly, upsetting the brunet who had fallen asleep against him. Goku snored softly, but otherwise did not wake as Sanzo took in a moment to inspect the outside world around Goku's apartment. He could spot a few familiar landscapes, but more importantly the nearby river which was covered in crisp, white snow.

For a moment Sanzo could only stare, unable to believe that after so long he was able to see. As common sense returned to him, he turned back towards Goku, taking in the young boy who had wormed a place into his life. His smile faded. Brown hair that was tousled with sleep, a small, lithe frame covered in shorts and a t-shirt, and bronzed skin that seemed to glow with the morning sunlight.

But as Sanzo looked beyond that, he could feel horror and nausea turning in the pit of his stomach. He felt sure he was going to be sick.

Fuck, Xing was one twisted son of a bitch.

He couldn't stay. The longer he stayed the closer the rest of them got. Besides, he wasn't completely sure he could trust Homura's word. He'd outstayed his welcome, and he needed to go.

He turned towards the bedroom Goku had allowed him to stay in, the blurry and grayed images from the last few days finally coming into color and focus. He followed his instincts, and found the room with ease. He began to collect the little things he had, and would need, all the while cursing and throwing things about. He couldn't find anything! He was taking too damn long! The commotion woke the brunet sleeping on the couch, and he slowly sat up, blinking sleep from his eyes as he took in the room down the hall.

Goku lazily dragged his feet as he stopped in the doorframe, finding Sanzo throwing things about while cursing all the way. Yawning again, he smiled when Sanzo turned to him. "Whatcha lookin' for, beautiful?" he asked sluggishly. Goku stepped forwards, wrapping his arms around the blond's shoulders and resting his head against them, as though he could fall asleep on him.

Rough hands shoved him away, before returning to the task of scouring the room. "Not now, Goku. I have to leave."

Goku stumbled back, sleep rapidly slipping away from him as he stared at the blond in front of him. "What… do you mean?" he asked, shakily. "Sanzo, you can't go anywhere."

"Look, I just have to go. Stay here. Lie low. Don't look for me." Sanzo snapped quickly, grabbing the scripture and shoving it into his pocket before turning for the door. Goku was quick to follow him.

"I'm not going to let you just leave Sanzo! I mean you're still—" Goku's sentence abruptly stopped as Sanzo turned to face him, staring him down with clear pools of violet. Goku found himself trapped, and for the first time he realized Sanzo's eyes were back in focus. "You can see…" The realization hit him like a brick, one he was unsure if he welcomed or not.

As his initial shock wore off, Goku found boiling anger replacing it. "You mean you… how long have you been lying to me, Sanzo? How long have you been able to see?!"

Sanzo looked guilty for a moment, his gaze trailing off towards the ground in thought. Images of familiar grey splotches clouded his memory, recalling his confusion and denial when they'd begun to appear. "A few days now, I guess."

"A few days?" Goku exploded, throwing his hands up in the air. "Were you ever thinking of telling me!?"

Sanzo snarled, glaring back at him. "I didn't know I could see, Goku! It was all just grey blobs and I was just thinking my eyes were playing tricks on me, so don't you dare start saying that I'm a liar of any sort!" Sanzo yelled back, causing Goku's eyes to widen slightly as he took a step back. Sanzo could be ferocious when he wanted to be, especially with a glare that could harden and pierce right through your soul.

Was it masochistic for Goku to want to kiss him breathless for it?

But Sanzo had already turned away from him, and as Goku blinked out of his daze, he found the blond pulling on the tattered jacket Goku had found him in. Crossing the room, Goku gripped his arm, attempting to hold him back. He knew it was probably better if Sanzo kept running, but damnit Goku couldn't stand to be left alone again! Call it selfish, call it abandonment but Goku wouldn't be able to stand it if Sanzo left him. The pain of just thinking about it was almost unbearable.

"Please," Goku croaked out, hiding his face beneath his bangs in embarrassment. He could only imagine a purely desperate look on his face and despite how much Goku loved Sanzo he didn't want him to see him like that. "Don't leave me."

Suddenly, voices were heard outside the door, and Sanzo cursed. He could hear Homura and Zenon's voices, along with a few he didn't recognize. Probably from the back up forces from France. Thinking quickly, he grabbed the nearby coat rack, sticking it between the door and the wall. Someone tried to open the door, and he heard a curse when the door refused to open.

Sanzo gripped Goku's shoulders, feeling sudden panic build inside him. He refused to go back. Never again, damnit! "Goku," he said, causing the boy to flinch. "Is there any other way out of here?!"

Goku looked shaken. "Uh... the fire escape!" he said suddenly. The two bolted towards it, Goku taking the lead as Sanzo watched the door wearily. They were quickly out the window as the door behind them opened with a bang. Goku didn't even take note of the cold air or the snow beneath his feet as he nervously glanced behind him. Goku began down the ladder and Sanzo growled, unable to wait any longer. He grabbed the railing with both hands, and jumped over the side. Goku watched him fall the two stories, horror momentarily crossing his features. However Sanzo landed perfectly, with no sign of pain or injury. Then he remembered Sanzo wasn't exactly human.

"Jump!" Sanzo screamed at him. Unable to doubt the blond, Goku let go of the ladder, jumping from the fire escape and landing right in Sanzo's arms. He was unable to enjoy the moment, as a second later Homura stuck his head out the window, looking down at them. Sanzo grabbed his hand, turning and bolting down a nearby alley. Goku was glad the man grabbed his hand; otherwise he was sure he would've lost the blond. Sanzo was running so fast, jumping over garbage cans or other mindless objects lying on the ground. Goku was tripping over his feet, hissing at the bitterly cold snow. He wished he'd had enough time to grab his shoes before they had to leave.

Sparing a glance over his shoulder, he realized they weren't being followed. Or at least, it didn't look like they were being followed.

"Sanzo!" Goku cried, feeling his lungs burning. How long had they been running through twisted back alleys? "Where are we going?"

"Kougaiji's." The blond replied with a hint of a smile.

---

It felt like forever until they finally reached a backwards little bar that looked as though it was connected to a small house. They wandered inside, surprised to find the place empty, save for two people. It was a small bar, holding only a few tables and was badly lit, but there was liquor behind the counter and soft music playing. A young woman with purple hair dashed over to them as they entered, looking frantic as she took the pair in.

Looking Sanzo over, her features softened into compassion and relief. "Oh Sanzo, look at you," she breathed. "I thought you were dead."

"I'm fine Yaone. How's he been?" Sanzo was clearly referring to the figure slumped over the bar table, long red hair sprawled down his back as an untouched drink sat in front of him. He seemed oblivious to the conversation despite the fact that they were speaking loud enough for him to hear.

Yaone sighed, running her fingers over her skirt in an attempt to smooth out the wrinkles. She looked drained, tired from years of caring for someone who'd clearly given up. "Not good, Sanzo. He hasn't eaten in two days. He doesn't sleep or drink or do anything anymore! It's worse then before. He just sits there. I'm afraid he's not going to snap out of it this time." Her crimson eyes brimmed with tears, and she tried to blink them away, though despite her attempts a few stray tears fell.

Sanzo merely brushed by her, heading up towards the bar and taking a seat next to the redhead. He motioned for Goku to come forwards, and the brunet stepped up to meet them. "Kougaiji," Sanzo said in a soft, commanding voice. "Allez, reprends-toi. Au moins assez longtemps pour que tu puisses rencontrer Goku. C'est le fils de Victor."

Goku hated it when Sanzo spoke French, feeling as though there was a secret they were keeping from him. He recognized his father's name, but decided he misheard the two men. Kougaiji sat up, staring at Sanzo with wide indigo eyes before they trained back on Goku. They studied him for a moment, looking him up and down before his expression softened. Turning back to the blond, it almost seemed like Kougaiji would begin to cry. "Oh Sanzo…" he breathed, his voice raspy and unused. "Je n'ai même pas tes yeux et, même moi, peux le voir. Comment fais-tu pour vivre ainsi?"

Sanzo shrugged, and Goku found both their eyes on him. He frowned, his face flushing under the close scrutiny. "Je ne sais vraiment pas. Je le fais, c'est tout."

Growing impatient with the pair that seemed to enjoy flaunting their language in front of him, Goku crossed his arms and glared at them. "If you're going to talk right in front of me, you could at least talk in a language I can understand!"

Sanzo merely smirked, and Kougaiji stood. "You two can stay here for a while," he said, calmly switching languages as he turned towards Yaone, who was trying to keep her tears at bay. "I'll set up a barrier. It won't be much, but it'll keep us out of sight for a while." Laughing, Kougaiji added, "Just don't dream."

Sanzo laughed as well, though it was bitter, sarcastic laughter. "Trust me, Kou; I've been trying not to dream for the past forty years."

Kougaiji laughed before he disappeared through the front door. As soon as he was gone, Sanzo found Yaone flung across his chest, hugging him as she cried. "Thank you, Sanzo!" Sanzo was rigid and unresponsive, and Goku could only grin with the thought that he was the only one that was allowed to get close to Sanzo. Pulling away, Yaone attempted to wipe her tears. "You got him to move, you got him to smile, Sanzo! I can't begin to thank you enough, I'm just so…" she broke out into another soft sob, attempting to keep her tears back.

Goku eyed Sanzo, finding it adorable that he was completely uncomfortable and unsure in his position. Goku attempted to keep it from his face, knowing that Sanzo would hit him otherwise. "I didn't do anything," Sanzo assured her, turning to shoot him a cocky smirk. "Thank the monkey."

Goku's brows furrowed in confusion as Yaone turned to look at him, smiling as tears filled her eyes. "Yes. He looked just like his father, doesn't he?" Yaone asked, turning back towards Sanzo. "I do miss him."

"I know," Sanzo said. Yaone then turned back towards the bar, cleaning up the untouched drink Kougaiji had in front of him.

As Sanzo turned back to him with violet pools flickering with amusement, Goku's brows drew together in annoyance. "Do you mind telling me why it seems like everybody here knows my father?!" he snapped a little too loudly as he stomped his foot. He probably looked just like a child, but Goku found often he acted like a child when there was no other way to express his frustration. He hated himself for it.

Sanzo's expression smoothed out into indifference spiked with exasperation. "I'll tell you later," Sanzo said.

"No!" Goku replied back stubbornly, eyes burning bright as he raised himself onto his toes, attempting to look the man in the eye. "I want to know now."

Sanzo sighed, glancing towards the door and towards Yaone, before trailing back towards him. Goku felt every muscle in his body tense, fully willing to fight over this. Finally Sanzo's eyes closed, his lips pressing tightly together. "Fine. I'll tell you what you want to know."

---

Only a few minutes later were Goku and Sanzo down the hall in a room. Goku took the seat on the old bed that Yaone offered to let him use for the night. Turning his attention up towards Sanzo, he watched as the blond paced the room, brows drawn together in irritation, attempting to find someplace to start. Goku could see the tension in the man's muscles and he suddenly wished he could massage away the tension with his fingers. Smirking softly, he leaned back on the bed and watched as Sanzo paced the length of the small room.

"Back, about twenty years ago, Kougaiji and I… were in the middle of our rebellion. And so, we got some outside help…from your father and your mother. I met them at a bar one night after I'd been injured in a scuffle. They were… surprisingly willing to help."

Goku's eyes widened. "My parents were part of your rebellion? But… how could… my father was a horrible person!" Goku cried. "How could you have worked with him?"

Sanzo's eyes snapped over to him, darkening as a soft growl formed in his throat. "A horrible person? Your father was a great man! But…" his eyes lost their sudden intensity, and he turned away, frowning to hide his discomfort. "Things happened. Things changed, Goku. After things started to fall apart, I stayed with your parents for a few months," a smirk caught on Sanzo's lips. "I must say Goku, you were cute in diapers."

Goku's entire face suddenly flushed, and he thought he must've looked like a cherry. Sanzo saw him as a baby? This was humiliating! Attempting to swallow his embarrassment, he turned his eyes up to Sanzo's amused gaze. "But then, things changed. When Xing found out about them, I had to leave, and your parents moved outside the city in an attempt to hide," Sanzo explained, drawing his lips together into a thin line. "They worked fairly well, for humans. Gathering information, supplies—hell, your father even managed to take down three Drifters, which was surprising in itself."

Through images of his parents in their younger days, something within his mind clicked. "Wait a minute, did this have anything do to with my father's insanity and my mother's depression?"

A ringing silence followed, and when Sanzo hesitated in answering him Goku felt a knot of fear settle in the pit of his stomach. He watched as Sanzo's pacing slowed, before it stopped all together. Sanzo looked towards the ground, blond locks dancing in front of violet eyes as he thought up an answer. Finally, the man hung his head, guilt evident on his features. "I'm sorry Goku," he whispered, his voice soft in the silent room. "They were only human."

Goku's eyes widened at his words, his mouth slightly agape as he took in the blond's regretful form. All coherent thought left him as shock took its toll. He could only sit on the bed, numb as his eyes widened. He recalled any and every memory of his parents he could scrounge up, attempting to recall the point in which his parents began to lose their minds.

He could feel tears prick at his eyes but he swore not to let them fall. Not in front of Sanzo. He was over this, could handle this new information on his parent's death, however just knowing that it wasn't some random psychological disorder that made his parents go insane added new pain to old wounds. To think there was a specific moment, a person, a group to blame made anger and sadness well up inside him.

Then his cell phone rang.

Goku had completely forgotten about the thing. Blinking, he attempted to feel around for it, before realizing he was still in his shirt and boxers. No pockets. Blinking, he looked up as Sanzo outstretched the phone to him. "I thought we'd need it," was all he offered for explanation. Goku thanked him, before taking the phone and placing it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Goku?" The brunet was startled to hear Nataku's frightful voice on the other end of the phone. He sounded panicked, and Goku could hear the sounds of people in the background. "For Christ's sake are you all right!?"

"I'm fine," Goku said in the most even voice he could manage, placing his head in his hands. "Just a… bad day."

Nataku sighed on the other end of the phone. "I was so worried. I got a call from this guy named Xing and he said he was your new roommate, and he said that you were in all this trouble and I needed to come home."

"Xing…" Goku echoed, eyes narrowing in thought, before it abruptly hit him. Eyes wide, he sat up sharply. "Nataku, where are you now?"

"At the airport. I just called a taxi to take me home, but it'll be another half an hour. Why? What's going on, Goku?" He was beginning to sound frightened again, and Goku wasn't sure what he could tell the man without scaring him, or spiking doubt.

In the most stable tone he could, Goku said, "Nataku, I'm fine. We're just in some trouble. You need to get on the plane, and go back to France—wait, no, don't go to France. Go to Germany or to Spain and have fun, okay? Just leave. And leave now."

Nataku sounded aggravated and fearful as he continued, "Goku. I want answers right now—wait—hey! What do…?" There was sudden shouting on the end of the phone, though Goku could not make out the words, and a clatter as the cell phone was dropped. Goku could no longer hear Nataku's voice.

"Nataku?" Goku cried, feeling horror gripping at his heart so hard it was difficult to breathe. "Nataku? Answer me! Are you okay?"

The line clicked dead.

Goku dropped the phone as he sprung to his feet, eyes wide as he gripped Sanzo's tattered jacket. "Oh god Sanzo! We have to go after them! We have to do something, they got Nataku! And I—"

"Calm down!" Sanzo yelled when Goku began to hyperventilate, eyes swimming with tears. "We can't do anything right now!"

"What do you mean we can't do anything?!" Goku screamed back, completely frantic. Sanzo gripped his shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. "I'm not going to leave my best friend with them to die! We have to help him, Sanzo!"

There was a sudden crash from the front of the bar and a scream with a tone that sounded eerily similar to Yaone's voice ring through. Sanzo looked grim as the hold on his shoulders grew tight.

"I mean they've already found us."

Translations: (as they appear)

"I want you to snap out of it. At least long enough to meet Goku. He's Victor's son."

"I don't even have your eyes and I can see it. How can you live with that?"

"I don't know, really. I just do."

C&C appreciated.