Off,Off, Off! That's all i can tell you about this one! I'm trying to make this one funny as well but my mind was somewhere else when i wrote it! I'm sorry if it's not as funny! T_T

Warning: Some OOC-ness from Ioryogi (from Kobato), language, confusing dialogue (sorry about that) and other things.

Disclaimer: don't own them; never will~!

Enjoy~!

Messy Food can lead to a nasty discussion….or is it a food fight.

Watanuki hummed happily as he was making a meal for his guests. While he was finishing the last touches on the food, he went to one of the cabinets and took out four plates; including for himself.

He then placed the meal on each plate. He looked at his culinary work with a huge grin.

"I hope the guys would like this~!"

"So are you and Watanuki a couple or something?"

"…..What makes you say that?"

"Well I just figured that since you guys are together almost every-day and the Himawari girl looked like the third wheel at times."

"…."

"Yeah, I'm with the Chinese kid over here. You and sir spazz-a-lot are always together. What's with that?"

"….I'm Chinese?" (1)

"Well the idiot is in tune with spirits and he attracts them. I can drive them off but I can't see them while he can. Yuuko usually sets us up for all of the work she wants us to do. Though it's hurting my ears every time I meet him."

"….That just sucks. You two really need to see other losers."

"…yeah."

….

"Doumeki, do I look like a Chinese person?"

"..maybe."

Watanuki suddenly came into the main room where the guests were having a conversation with a large tray in his hands and a big smile on his face. "Hey guys~! Food's ready~!"

Syaoron looked up and smiled in return. "Thank you very much Watanuki."

Ioryogi sighed. "Well it's about damn time, 'chef'."

Doumeki held his hand out. "Plate."

"I'M NOT YOUR DAMN SLAVE!" Watanuki turned to Syaoron and smiled. "Here you go." He handed him a plate.

Syaoron took his plate with some uncertainty. "Um…thank you very much."

Then Watanuki placed the second plate in front of Ioryogi. "Here you go Ioryogi-san."

The plushy huffed as he crossed his plump stuffed arms. "Yeah, yeah."

Watanuki then turned to Doumeki and glared at him. "Here." He placed the plate very harshly in front of the stoic teen. So harshly that Ioryogi and Syaoron jumped at the sound.

"What the hell is his problem?" The blue plushy asked.

Syaoron shrugged his shoulders. "No clue."

Doumeki, unfazed at the look he was receiving, looked at the meal his was given. "What is it?"

Rolling his eyes, Watanuki placed the tray that had his plate on the ground and sat down along with the rest. "Can't you tell; it's sloppy Joe."

Syaoron picked up the joe and had a good at it. "So that's what it is."

Ioryogi scoffed. "Never had one of those before. Dobato would always give me those cakes to eat since she works at a bakery." (2)

Doumeki silently took the sloppy Joe and bit into it. "…mmm."

"You know that 'mmm' doesn't freaking help us much." Ioryogi rudely commented. Then he took his sloppy joe and bit into it. He chewed and swallowed the piece, He then licked his lips. "Not bad. Greasy but not bad."

Watanuki beamed at the complaints he was getting. "Thank you~! It was one of those western recipes that I wanted to try." He then turned his attention to Syaoron. "How's yours?"

Syaoron looked at Watanuki then at the sloppy joe. He carefully took a bite. "Hmm! This is really good!"

"I'm glad you all like it –maybe not Doumeki though-." Watanuki muttered the last part under his breath. He then sat down with them while taking his own plate and taking a bite. "So, what were you guys talking about before I got here."

The young brown-eyed boy stop in mid-chew and looked at the other two. He swallowed. "Um…..we were just talking about random things in our lives."

Before Watanuki could start on his meal, Ioryogi gave out a barking laugh. He looked at him questioning look. "What?"

"Is that what he told you?" Ioryogi took another bite; almost ripping the bread very harshly. "We were just talking about you and stoic teen over here and why the hell you two are always together. We just figured you might be dating or something."

…

"WHAT!" The blue-eyed teen stood up and walked over to Doumeki who seemed oblivious to what just happened. "WHAT KIND OF DIRTY LIES HAVE YOU TOLD THEM!"

Doumeki just kept on chewing; only sparing a glance at the spazzing teen before swallowing. "I didn't lie about anything. You just assumed I did; moron." Then he took another bite.

Watanuki's anger level reached unimaginable heights.

Syaoron can sense something bad was going to happen between the two. "Um…I'm going to the kitchen to wash my plate; you coming Ioryogi-san?" He glanced at the toy; hoping he would agree and go as well.

No such luck.

"Nah, I'm going to stick around to see the odd couple fight to the death." Ioryogi ate the last bit of the sandwich and wagged his tail in content.

Narrowing his eyes, Syaoron was forced to do what he never thought he would do to a person…or a plushy for that matter. He grabbed the dog by the collar and hoisted him into the air. He then took the second plate on top of the first one. "We're going to the kitchen." He announced while exiting the room with Ioryogi in tow; not wanting to wait to see what happens.

"Hey, what the hell! Put me down! I want to see some fighting damn it!" Ioryogi shouted out; unaware of how the situation will turn out.

"I can't believe you dragged me out of the room." Ioryogi sat on the kitchen counter; glaring at Syaoron for ruining a rare chance in seeing a fight between two guys.

Syaoron paid no heed as he was washing the dishes and the cooking equipment that Watanuki used to cook. "I understand that and I'm sorry." He didn't feel as sorry when he said that. "However we shouldn't interfere with the situation. I tried to once…..that black eye took weeks to fade." He covered his right eye and shuddered in remembrance of that day. "So we'll just wait out here until all anger has left the room. Then we can come back in."

Ioryogi's beady eyes narrowed. "That's the lamest story I have ever heard, and I hang around with idiots every day."

Chuckling, Syaoron starting to dry everything. "You really do sound like Kurogane, you know?"

"AND STOP TELLING ME THAT I SOUND LIKE THAT DAMN TALL GUY!"

"Right, right." Syaoron was about to put away the dishes when he noticed a huge pot on the stove. He placed the drying towel down and peak in to see what was inside. "Hey Ioryogi-san; take a look at this."

The blue plushy sighed as he stood up and walked towards the pot. He jumped on one of the handle and peered inside. "Holy crap." Inside of the pot was a large amount of meat which looked similar to the sloppy joe they have just eaten a while ago. "That's a hell of a lot of meat."

Syaoron nodded. "Yeah, I wonder why Watanuki would make a lot of this when there are just the four of us."

"TAKE THAT BACK YOU JERK!"

Ioryogi and Syaoron turned their heads at the doorway; hearing the yelling very clearly.

"I didn't even say anything."

"BUT YOU WERE THINKING IT WEREN'T YOU!"

"That doesn't mean that I'll actually say it moron."

"THAT'S IT!"

Then a squishy-like sound was heard along with a plate smashing somewhere. Syaoron got worried and ran out of the room. "Watanuki! Doumeki!"

Ioryogi just stood there. He looked at the pot and at the doorway. He slowly smirked. "Heh. Let the fun begin."

"Hey guys, are you okay in there?" Syaoron ran into the room and was stopped at the sight before him. "Oh my goodness."

Before him was Doumeki with his face covered in grounded meat as the buns were sliding down his shirt. Watanuki was panting very heavily as the smashed plate was right next to him on the floor.

"…." Syaoron didn't know whether to go to Doumeki to help him clean up or to Watanuki to calm him down. "Um…what happened here?"

Watanuki snapped out of his anger mode and looked at Syaoron who was confused and worried. He stood upright and glanced at what he has done. "Oh." He looked back at Syaoron while his face was tinted pink with slight embarrassment. "S-sorry about that. I kinda blacked out for a couple of minutes before I even knew what I just did."

"….I can see that." Syaoron looked at Doumeki. "Are you okay Doumeki?"

Doumeki wiped some meat off his face. "Yeah."

Before Syaoron could take one step to help, a handful of lukewarm meat hit the back of his head. He yelped at the sudden contact. He turned around. "What was that!"

Watanuki ran towards him. "I don't know! I didn't see anyone behind you!"

Doumeki coughed, catching the boys' attention. He pointed downwards. "There."

Watanuki and Syaoron looked at where the stoic teen was pointing and were shocked at what they were seeing.

Ioryogi was standing next to the large pot with a smirk on his face while holding a ball of meat in one of his non-existent hand. "Well boys, I threw the first 'rock'. What are you all going to do about it?" The smirk became slightly darker.

Looking at the pot, Watanuki's eyes widen. "Wait, is that….?" The realization sank in as he scowled. "What the hell? I made that much for others later!"

"Well that's too damn bad!" Then the plushy threw the ball of meat at Watanuki's face which hit dead on.

Syaoron gasped. Doumeki's eyes widen a fraction. Ioryogi was laughing his head off at the sight of Watanuki's meat covered face.

Watanuki wiped some of the meat into his hand and glared.

Ioryogi was too busy laughing that he didn't notice that Watanuki was aiming the meat in his hand at him. "Ha! You look really stu-ack!" He was hit with meat and what was worse was that half his body was now covered in meat. He glared at him. "Oh, that's it brat." He jumped onto the rim of the pot and took out a big glob of meat. "You're going down!"

"Bring it!" Watanuki cried out. He ducked as the meat hit the wall behind him.

Doumeki stood up and walked to the pot and grabbed a handful of the meat and threw it at Watanuki who ducked and it hit the wall.

Watanuki laughed. "Is that all you got!" Then he dodged another glob of meat that was heading in his direction. "What the hell!"

Syaoron looked at the scene with wide eyes. He ran out of the room while dodging globs of meat flying in every direction. He then ran to the phone and dialed a number. He waited for the other line to pick up. Then he heard a click.

"Hello! This is Yuuko's lovely shop; assistant Fai speaking~!"

"Hey Fai. It's me; Syaoron." He heard Fai chuckling on the other line.

"Well if it isn't my dear friend Syaoron. What can I do for you today~?"

Syaoron sighed before answering. "I need Kurogane and Yuuko to come here right now."

"Oh~? And why's that~?"

"Something has gone completely wrong here and I need backup." Syaoron can see bits of meat escaping the room along with sounds of yelling and shouting coming from that room.

"Eh~? But what don't you want me there Syaoron~?"

Syaoron fiddled the phone cord. "Well, no offense Fai but you might make it worse."

A moment of silence from the other line.

"Hyuu~! You might be right. I'll send Kuro-lovey-dovey and Yuuko your way."

"Good. Thanks Fai."

"Well, see you later Syaoron~!

"Yeah, see ya Fai." Then he hung up.

He looked back down the hallway and sighed. 'Why does these kind of things happen around me?'

[After-math]

"I can't believe you all waste so much freaking meat in this idiotic fight. It was a good thing the kid called when he did. God, what a mess."

"Now Now, Kurogane; I'm sure the children and Ioryogi had a good explanation for this rather messy ordeal."

"Actually Ma'am they don't."

"And why's that Syaoron?"

"Well it just happened so quickly. I don't think I want to be with them alone anymore."

"Yeah, good call on that kid."

"So Watanuki, Doumeki and Ioryogi-chan, you three will have to not only clean up this mess but prepare another meal for the rest of us later on tonight. Is that clear?"

….

"Yes, Ma'am."

Kurogane sighed as he, Yuuko and Syaoron left the room. The warrior had his sword on his left hip while Yuuko had a spatula (3) in her hands. Syaoron was just glad he didn't get involved.

Syaoron then had a thought. "Say Ma'am; I have a question."

Yuuko looked at Syaoron and smiled. "What is it Syaoron?"

"Are Watanuki and Doumeki a couple?"

The smile turned into a smirk. "What do you think~?"

Syaoron blushed.

"Witch; not now." Kurogane retorted. "The kid asked a simple question."

"Well I bet it was that simple question that started the whole thing; am I right Syaoron?

"…."

"Syaoron?"

"Oi Kid; are you alright?"

Syaoron didn't know what was worse; the question itself or the fact that he just had a thought that he shouldn't have thought of. The worst part of it was that….

It involved meat…lots of meat.

No more sloppy Joes for him.

END

(1)- Well it was heavily implied in both later chapters of the manga and in Horitsuba that he's Chinese so, I'm going with that.

(2)- It just occurred to me that Ioryogi hasn't eaten anything other then sweets. (both in the manga and anime)

(3)- My mom has beaten my butt with that thing when i was a kid.

Don't forget to review,check out my other stories and vote on whether or not you readers want YuuiSyao on 'Anything But Simple' on my profile

Until Next time~!