A/N: Well, this is the final chapter of Chuck versus the Quirk. What happens, happens. If they succeed in retrieving the disks from Berta, great. If they don't, then so be it. Sometimes failure happens in real life.

Thanks for the interest again.

Chapter XI

I Like Your Protection Better, Printer Boy

Once Berta closed the front door she looked around. Nothing worrisome.

'Go to the parking lot people, my car is there,' she instructed them.

While they were heading there Sarah was looking around, trying to figure out a solution. No, nobody and nothing to help her distract Berta enough. And how could she risk Chuck's life, not to mention all the people in the area? She cursed to herself.

'Nice working with you Agent Walker,' Berta started while following them. 'I read your file. Impressive.'

'Sorry, that I have to beat you this time.' She sighed in an obviously fake and mocking way. 'The VW van, over there,' she said and pressed the alarm of her car remote.

They were now next to the car.

'Walker,' Berta said loudly and threw her car keys at her. 'You drive. Geeky,' she had turned to Chuck, 'you take the front seat, I'll be behind you.'

Chuck reached the car door where he was supposed to sit but Berta interrupted him.

'Hey, nerdy boy, don't you see my hands are occupied?' She raised them for him to see. The tool box was still in her left hand and the remote for the sarin gas vials in her right one.

'Of course, sorry,' Chuck rushed to open the back door for her. He was just about to do that when both he and Berta heard some buzzing. Very close to them. It was indeed like a bee or a bunch of bees closing in on.

'Ugh!' Chuck exclaimed in disgust, 'I hate wasps! All these needles, in their uh … behinds!'

'So do I geeky boy, hurry up!' Berta hissed at him.

They were about 5 feet away staring at each other. Chuck leaned in a bit to reach the door handle so he could open the back door for her.

At this very moment however, the buzzing reached its maximum as something was hovering right between their faces, much closer to Berta's.

'What the hell …., ' Berta exclaimed but as she started to realize what it was, it was too late.

Stephen Bartowski's, or rather Yoni's micro-UAV had started spraying a knock out gas right into her nose. It had a strong paralytic component. The buzzing from its miniature engine was many times stronger than the quiet hissing from the gas release so she couldn't hear it.

Berta staggered to her left and slightly forward, leaning against the car with her hip now pressed against the tool box. 'Uuuuh.'

Chuck rushed toward her, to prevent her from falling with the disks and remote in her hand.

First his left hand reached for the remote in her right one. He took it and then his right hand reached for the tool box handle. He took it just before Berta was about to drop it.

Her over 300-pound body leaned forward so Chuck instinctively embraced her in attempt to prevent her from falling down.

He quickly inserted his left hand in her pocket where she had put that small vial with the sarin. He found it and grabbed it together with the remote and quickly pulled it out of the pocket.

But Berta was too heavy and almost as tall as he was. Her weight was all over Chuck, who, distracted by the remote and the vial, finally tried to make a step backward. But it was too late.

His and Berta's bodies were already falling down.

'Aaaargh,' he screamed.

There was a large thud as they hit the ground really hard.

Sarah had entered the car and wondered why they were still staying outside. But now that she heard him scream she sprang out of the car.

'Chuck!' Sarah had already gone around the front of the car and now pointed her flashlight to see what happened. 'Are you OK?'

The first thing she could see was Chuck's left hand still holding the sarin vial and the remote. She took them immediately and then pointed at Chuck's face.

'Ohhh,' she heard him, moan. 'I'm ok, Sarah, … uh, … just hit my head against the ground. Help me with this Berta thing, please!'

His right hand was stuck between the car and Berta, with the box lying on her back. Since Berta was all over him with her massive body, and his right hand pressed between her and the car, he simply couldn't move her away from him.

Sarah was just about to kneel and try to help him when an evil grin appeared on her face.

'Ohh, just a sec, Chuck.' She pulled out a cell phone from her back pocket, turned it on the camera mode and set it to a night mode.

'Smile,' she said, pointing it to Chuck.

'Oh, come on Sarah,' Chuck said panting. 'You can't do that to me,' He was trying to wiggle himself out of the embarrassing situation. To no avail.

Sarah had taken two more pictures from different angles when Casey arrived.

'What happened Walker? Where's the nerve gas?' he barked.

'It's secured Casey, don't worry.' She pointed her torchlight to the top of Berta's car where she had left the vial and the remote.

'And where's the asset, … and the enemy?' He further growled.

Since Berta and Chuck were down there between cars, Casey still couldn't see them in the dark.

'Don't worry, the asset is secure as well,' Sarah smirked and pointed her flashlight to them. 'And he happens to be cheating on me. In the parking lot, can you imagine that?'

"Ohhh, Bartowski, Bartowski,' Casey snorted, ' I didn't know that you were a member of the 'big ladies club', congratulations.' He took his mobile out and started taking pictures.

'I'm gonna kill you both,' Chuck yelled still panting under Berta and trying to wiggle out. 'I'm reporting you two, to Beckman, for, …, for uh … hazing, it must be some felony, … right?'

'Right, right,' Casey snorted again. 'My condolences Walker.'

'What about, Casey?'

'You need to eat alotta hamburgers to stay competitive, I'm afraid.'

'Yeah,' Sarah said cheerfully. 'No more diet worries, ... exercise, … life is finally getting a bit rosier for me.'

Now the rest from the house arrived with Jake ahead of them.

'Oh Chuck! Gross! How can you cheat on Sarah, you moron!' he yelled at Chuck.

But then he stopped and smiled. He turned to Sarah, 'Hey, your boyfriend is cheating on you with a much older lady.' He said, snickering and nodding at her.

'So?' Sarah asked.

'Sweet revenge, ... hello,' Jake said opening his arms for her.

Sarah chuckled. 'No Jake, Chuck wasn't cheating, he was actually doing …'

'An enemy agent?' Casey interrupted her.

'Nooo … his job, I was about to say, Casey,' Sarah scolded him smiling.

'I rest my case.' Casey smirked.

Charlie, Alan and Rose arrived there and all asked anxiously, 'What happened?'

'Ahh,' Charlie started then as he was the first to see Chuck and Berta all over him. 'So you are a sexual addict, and even worse case than me, huh,' he smirked, '… and in denial, I guess.'

'Shame on you all!' Rose chided them all and knelt to help Chuck. 'Don't worry dear, everybody has little quirks, let me help you.'

She tried to move Berta away but at this moment Berta turned her head to the other side and munched, 'Mmm, mlm-mlm-mlm.'

'Heeeelp,' Chuck screamed like a girl.

Berta was obviously dreaming something. 'Was it as good for you as it was for me, zippy?' she blurted out.

Everybody turned toward Alan now.

'Well, zippy?' Charlie asked.'What say you?'

'What!' an indignant Alan screamed. 'I have never, ever slept with Berta!'

'Yeah, but the question is whether she had slept with you, fantasy boy,' Charlie grinned at him.

'Shame on you all,' Alan wiggled between them and joined Rose. Both were now able to roll Berta away from Chuck.

Then they helped him get up.

Chuck approached, and glared at Casey and Sarah. 'Spy humor, huh? I owe you a big one for this,' he threatened.

Casey had already called Beckman and she ordered the local NSA and FBI people to join them and provide security. A helicopter landed soon on the road adjacent to the parking lot.

'Walker, Bartowski, get on the chopper, I'll join you in a minute.' Casey said in a hurry. 'Agent Kennedy,' he turned to Rose. 'Take my car and come to my apartment in the morning. Tomorrow the Air Force Chief of Staff will personally come to get the disks. I want you there; after all you were the first to break this case.'

'Sure, Major Casey,' Rose smiled while taking the keys from him.

'And what about us,' Alan asked. 'Are we uh ...finished, major?'

"With Berta out of the picture, you certainly are, haha." Charlie chimed in again.

'Yeah, yeah,' Casey remembered them, 'go home and don't forget about the non-disclosure agreement, that's all. We'll be visiting you soon.'

At that, Casey turned around and strode after Chuck and Sarah toward the helicopter.

Xxx

500 yards away Chip Johnson was sitting in a brand new gray Toyota with tinted windows and typing something on a laptop. Yoni's micro-UAV just arrived so he quietly opened the door, leaned down and took it inside.

'Hello again, birdie bird.' he said and went on with the typing.

'You may go home now, Chip, job well done! Talk to you tomorrow. Over.' Stephen Bartowski wrote and disconnected the line.

He sighed.

'Good Lord.' He thought. 'Sarin. And Chuck saw his micro-UAV and will probably tell Sarah and Casey.'

He typed a text message for Chuck's mobile, 'Forget about the little bird you saw Mr. Bartowski. Tell NOBODY!!! And yeah, I KNOW YOU ARE THE INTERSECT. Will explain later. A FRIEND.' and clicked on the 'send' button.

'Be smart, Charles, be smart! Don't tell anybody about the little bird!' he prayed.

xxx

Next day, 9 am, Casey's apartment.

Sarah and Chuck, as well as Casey and Rose were sitting in the living room.

Casey's mobile rang.

'Yes, … I understand … yes, we are here, … roger that… over.' He hung up.

Five minutes later somebody knocked on Casey's front door. He jumped up and went there to open it.

A pleasant woman, in her early thirties, entered, followed by a bald-headed older man who wore sunglasses. Both were in plain clothes but their military stance was pretty obvious.

Sarah, Chuck and Rose stood up.

'At ease people. You are not even in the military. And I'm not wearing a uniform.' He smiled at them.

'By the way, this is the first time in history that the Air Force Chief of Staff is on official business in plain clothes. Unbelievable, isn't it?'

The general looked around and then focused on something. "Ah, major Casey, a Ronald Reagan fan, great.'

'Yes, general, I proudly am.' Casey said cocking his head.

'Great, … great, I used to work at the National security council during his tenure, great man, ... great man.'

'So,' he sighed, 'where is the stuff, major?'

Casey put his tool box on a table and opened it. "Here they are, Chief, eleven hard disks.'

'Have you verified their content?' The Air Force boss asked.

'Yes general, the Echo program is here, radar absorbing material data and much, much more, manifacture details, which is probably the worst of all. An NSA expert went through all of them earlier this morning. Of course, we don't know whether this is the real thing. Only the LM people will know that.'

'Good grief,' the general exclaimed shaking his head. 'It must be the real thing as we don't know anything about a deception operation going on.'

'Stephanie,' he had turned to his assistant. 'Call Johnson to come and get the disks. Wait for me outside, please, I need to have a word with these people in private.'

His assistant had already pulled out her mobile and was now heading to the front door.

Once she left the general continued, "Well, I simply can't tell you how grateful the US government is to all of you. If this,' he tapped lightly of the tool box, 'is the real deal, your contribution to US national security is simply immeasurable. And I mean that literally. Neither the Air Force, nor any intelligence agency can measure in any definitive terms the implications for our national security if those disks ended up in the wrong hands.'

The general made a short pause and then continued. 'So, Major Casey, I think you should get prepared for a Presidential Medal of Honor ceremony, ... in the near future, I guess.'

'Mm-hmm, general,' Casey said, trying to clear his throat, 'I do apologize for interrupting, but my role in this operation was really small and insignificant. The real hero was a … a civilian, um … his name is Chuck Bartowski, ... he almost single-handedly solved this riddle and then found the disks.'

'Oh,' the general exclaimed, 'yeah, … I remember,' he took out a pair of glasses and after putting them on, tried to focus on Chuck.

While he was focusing on his Buy More badge, Casey went on, 'General Beckman told me that you were briefed on our mission, I mean about the asset. Agent Walker and I are actually assigned to protect him 24/7.'

'Yeah, … yeah, … I was, oh, that's the guy, with the thing in his head,' he said pointing at his bald head.

'Well, congratulations, young man,' he said to Chuck. 'I mean, I wish I were 27 and having a 24/7 protection by an agent like this,' he said glancing at Sarah. 'And where does the CIA get girls like that?' he wondered.

'Well,' he sighed. 'I have a plane to catch, so … any questions?'

'Mm-hmm,' Casey tried to clear his throat again. 'What happens to the disks and the op now? I mean, we'd be glad to be part of it.'

'Oh, I don't know major. It's FBI and Air Force turf. The FBI agent will certainly be,' he nodded at Rose. "Congrats, you did a great job by the way.' he smiled at her. 'I'll be in touch with Beckman anyway. That's all.' He opened the front door and stepped out.

'Well,' Chuck stood up, 'I think I have to go to work now.'

'Before you go, I think we should celebrate this, people. How about a party tonight, huh?' Rose proposed.

Xxx

It was almost lunchtime. Chuck was about to die out of boredom at the Nerd Herd desk. He glanced at his watch for the umpteen time – 5 minutes till lunch break. No, he couldn't wait anymore. He looked around, no traces of Big Mike. He rushed toward the exit door and soon was at the Wienerlicious.

Once in, Chuck was really disappointed to find that Sarah wasn't there.

'Where is Sarah?' he asked Scooter, her nerdy boss.

'Ahhh, Chuck, I thought she has having another tryst with you. Ha. Where is she indeed?' Scooter looked at him sternly.

Chuck decided to eat something and wait for her here. He ordered a sandwich, pulled his mobile out and dialed Sarah's number.

'Chuck, how are things there?' She answered.

'I'm at the Wienerlicious, waiting for you. Where have you been?'

'Oh, … nowhere. I'm driving back there, wait for me.' She hung up.

'Oh, great,' Chuck thought. 'So it's a secret, huh. And since when do we have secrets,' he thought.

Sarah rushed in 15 minutes later.

'Hey, where have you been?' Chuck asked again.

'Just some private business, why? What's the problem?' she stared at him.

'Uh, … nothing.'

'Are you jealous? I mean, that I'm not telling you the details?' she exclaimed with clear surprise in her voice.

'No, no, just asking, … forget it, no biggy.'

xxx

12:30 am, Ellie and Devon's house

Once the party was over, and Casey and Rose gone, Sarah announced she was feeling tired and signaled to Chuck to come with her. Their plan for the night was for Sarah to stay with Chuck so they further cement their cover for Ellie and Devon.

Once alone in his bedroom, Chuck started. 'If the quirk is back and you think it's time for a tango here, I don't think so.'

'No, silly.' Sarah flashed him a smile. 'I'm just tired and need to sleep. No energy for anything wild or something.' she enunciated while staring at him.

'Oh, I feel so lucky today, ... then, … so lucky.' he clamped his lips. 'I meant the tango, not "anything wild,' he screamed to himself.

Sarah reached for the switch and turned the lights off.

Once they were in bed Chuck realized that Sarah was poking him with something under the covers.

Now he could see that it was a small flashlight that she was blinking.

'Oh,' he thought to himself, 'somebody needs to pay some royalties here. Well, time to go undercover.'

Once Chuck was under the cover he saw Sarah's face grinning at him there. She unfolded a small paper for him so he could read. "There is a surprise down there. Under the bed. In the basement. Are you coming with me?'

'Of course I'll be coming,' he whispered at her as quietly as he could. 'I'm not the one who pretended to be tired.'

Sarah pulled out another small flashlight for him. They slid under the bed and Chuck unlocked the trap door.

'You first,' Sarah shushed.

Chuck pointed the torchlight down the stairs and carefully stepped down.

Soon he realized that the basement was now lit with some strange, multi-colored light.

'Oh, whose Christmas tree set of lights did you steal, uh … super-agent?' he asked playfully.

Sarah had just joined him there. 'I bought it, silly. I see that you like it already, right?'

'Right, … right. It's very, uh … romantic. And what is that, if I may ask?' he asked.

'What, … oh, that? Nothing, just a mirror, a table, a couple of make-up boxes, powder boxes, a bunch of Mascaras, several lipsticks, a chair, nothing extraordinary, right?' Sarah smiled.

'It looks like a boudoir to me, hmm, Le Boudoir De Madame Pompadour, I guess?'

'Maybe, I need to look presentable here,' she pouted, 'you have a problem with that?'

'No, no, no problem, but you are always very, uh, … very presentable …'

'Oh, thanks, Chuck, and here is the surprise.' She pointed her flashlight to the corner opposite to her mirror.

'What's that? I can't see anything there.'

'That's because it is still folded and not inflated yet.' Sarah said callously. 'It's a bed silly, an inflatable one. It's your turn to blow,' she said and sat before the mirror, fixing her make-up.

'Yeah, … great,' Chuck sighed and started figuring out where to start with the bed.

Once he started blowing, Sarah glanced at him snickering.

'At that pace, Chuck, we won't be finished until tomorrow morning,' she quipped.

'I know, I know,' Chuck said, panting. 'Maybe you should give me a hand, huh?'

'Fortunately,' Sarah said, getting up, 'being with the CIA enables me with some expertise that can help.'

She took a small canister from her table.

'This is highly pressurized air, Chuck.' She started her instructions. 'You first need to insert the pipe, then push and push it even further, then try pressing on this button, and voila, the pressure will be released.'

"Oh, thank you, Sarah, without your instructions, uh ..., so clear and concise, uh … I think I would never be able to pro-create.'

Indeed, the air from the small canister was now flowing into the bed.

'Great job super-agent,' Chuck said, 'couldn't you have done that earlier and saved me some unnecessary blowing?'

'Yeah, yeah, I know, but the quirk, … I just got it back, I'm sorry.' She flashed him another smile.

"Oh,' Chuck said, 'last time you said there was no quirk, huh? So, how come?'

'Yeah, yeah, I remember. But what can I say now, here it is,' she approached and started kissing him.

'Chuck,' she said a little later. 'What's your lesson from this whole quirk thing?'

'What, I don't know. Enlighten me.'Chuck said heavily breathing after her kiss.

'You should never trust what a woman says to you, … you know, women just say things sometimes.'

'Oh, yeah, but I trust you, and … uh, … I'm pretty positive you're a woman.' Chuck smirked.'Is that a problem?'

'Oh, … well, every rule has at least one notable exception.' She said after some thinking. 'And in this case, it is only one.'

xxx

Next morning, Casey's apartment, 6:59.

As usual, the biological clock in major Casey clicked seconds before the real one would.

He squeezed his eyes even tighter and wondered where the hell this terrible headache had come from.

Oh, the party last night, he remembered. He obviously had too much to drink, didn't he? He couldn't even remember how much.

Ah, and what the hell was that? Now that his senses were slowly coming back he realized there was something on his chest.

'Wow, as I can see now, you're fully awaken, sleepy head,' Rose said turning her head toward him. 'How'd you sleep?'

'Uh-uh, I don't even remember what happened after the party.' Casey grunted.

'Oh, that, um … you were a bit tipsy, and …, uh … you-you suggested a sponge bath.' Rose recalled. 'So … we had a sponge bath.'

'Hmm, good, … good.' Casey blurted still grimacing from the hangover.

'Don't worry, Johnny,' Rose tapped him on the chest. 'I'm not one of those one-night stand gals. I entered your life for a veeeery looong time,' she smiled at him.

"Hmm, … great,' Casey thought to himself. 'I can live with that. I guess.'

But he only grunted approvingly at her.

'Ohh, don't worry Johnny,' Rose went on, 'you're a bit emotionally ... castrated. I knew somebody who were like you, long time ago. But I can get you a great shrink. Don't worry, you'll be fine.'

xxx

Epilogue

2 weeks later, the Wienerlicious, 6 pm.

Chuck entered the Wienerlicious and saw Sarah cleaning the place.

'Hi, Chuck, what brings you here?' she asked casually.

'Oh, I don't know, I thought, uh .. we would be spending the evening together, um ... a pizza or something.' Chuck stammered with obvious surprise.

'Uh, maybe a bit later.' Sarah went on without looking at Chuck, 'I'm gonna need to attend some business in the next several hours.'

'Oh, oh,' Chuck exclaimed. 'I thought it was this,' he pointed at his head, 'that was your business, … mission, … whatever. Remember, … the intersect?'

Sarah was thinking. 'OK, you can come with me if you want.'

'Oh, where?'

'I'm going to Malibu, the Harpers. Alan texted me. Said I should go there and see something. Some sort of a surprise. And I checked with Rose, you know, she is providing security there. She confirmed. There is something I should really see there. So,' Sarah raised her shoulders.

'Oh, I see.' Chuck said.

'Wanna come?' Sarah asked. "It's a long ride, and with the LA traffic, I thought you'd be bored.'

In fact, Sarah was worrying about Chuck's safety as Charlie's house was now ground zero of international espionage where the US government was trying to sell faulty stealth data to the adversaries.

But then she realized that any place in LA was more or less dangerous for somebody like Chuck. And after all, they would stay there just for half hour pretending to be friends.

'Yeah, yeah,' Chuck was nodding at her, 'I'd be glad to. I have some very nice memories from that place as well, remember?'

xxx

90 minutes later they were there in front of Charlie Harper's house. "Ding dong.'

'Hey, eat your dinner, boy, and you need to do your homework before seeing this girl,' they both heard somebody yelling inside the house.

Sarah and Chuck looked at each other with their eyes popping out of surprise.

The very next second somebody opened the front door but they already knew who that would be.

"Berta???"

'Surprised, heh?' She smirked and let them in. 'The government got me a deal. I'm a double agent now, selling their crap to whoever would be interested. And this is punishment enough for me, you know, to serve these two imbeciles.'

'But you were about to kill so many people with that gas,' Chuck was still quite indignant.

'Nah, it was unitary sarin, geeky.' Berta shook her head, 'It was 95% degraded, shelf-life you know. It could kill the fish as I was about to put a hefty dose in the aquarium but otherwise, no good.'

'Yeah,' Sarah confirmed, 'you need to keep it in binary form if you want it to last.'

'Aah, agent Walker knows her stuff, heh? And you, zippy,' she turned to Chuck again, 'how's it hanging? Last time I remember you, you were under me,' she smirked at him.

'Yeah, we all remember that,' Sarah confirmed again. 'It's well documented by the way.'

'I'm just not sure,' Berta went on, 'how you managed to drop me.'

'Aah, nothing special,' Chuck waved his hand, 'I hypnotize people sometimes.'

'What?' Sarah exclaimed to herself. It never occurred to her how actually Chuck had Berta go unconscious and only now the question popped up. But she didn't say anything.

'So,' she turned to Berta instead, 'who did you work for, I mean, before our government turned you over?'

'Aah, about that, it's top secret, blondie, but since we are friends now, no hard feeling heh, zippy, I'm Larissa Semyonova, Russian military intelligence, former of course.' Berta smiled at them. 'My parents had been part of a sleeper cell here, even since the 40s. I was born here, but they trained and indoctrinated me.'

'Well,' Berta went on after exhaling sadly, 'what brought you here? The Harpers are out somewhere. It's only me and Jake.'

'Uh, Alan invited us,' Sarah answered, 'he told me there was a surprise. I guess he was right. Congratulations, for your new job.' Sarah said awkwardly. 'I guess we're going home now. Bye.'

'Oh, don't wanna try my apple pie,' Berta yelled after them, 'no hard feelings I hope, right Walker?'

xxx

Two weeks later. Washington DC, The White House, 8:30 pm.

'Well, ladies and gentlemen, congratulations again to the printer boy and his team, let's eat and drink.' The President, George W. Bush, said with a glass of bubbly lemonade in his hand and sat down.

Chuck and Rose had just gotten the Presidential Medal of Freedom while Sarah and Casey received some military awards. Since Chuck was especially mentioned in all reports as the key to the success of this operation, he was the center of the ceremony and was now sitting next to the president.

'So, printer boy," Bush '43 started. 'You shouldn't worry about being misunderestimated.'

'Uh, what, … what do you mean Mr. President,' Chuck asked anxiously.

'I read the report, the bear-face report.'

'Huh, bear face?' Chuck wondered again.

'Yeah.' W. pointed at Casey. 'The hunk in the uniform. He wrote in his final report how he had misunderestimated you and that he was wrong about that.'

'Oh, I see,' Chuck flashed a really fake smile at Casey.

'Don't worry, Chuck, I get misunderestimated all the time,' Bush 43 winked at him. 'Look where it got me, hehe. The White House. Twice. Hehehe. That's why Jimmy Carter hates me so much, hehehe. Misunderestimation is the best thing that can happen to you, printer boy. Cheers.'

'Haaaa, cheers, Mr. President.' Chuck smiled back and gulped something really strong. 'Oh boy,' he thought to himself. 'Was that some 15th century whiskey or something?' His head was already spinning.

He looked for the bottle, … yeah, there it was. He stretched to reach it and tried to focus on the label.

'Wow, a 16th century whiskey.' he exclaimed.

'Yeah, presidential stuff,' W. confirmed. "It's just so sad that I stopped drinking in 1984,' he looked anxiously at his wife who was sitting opposite to him next to Sarah.

W. leaned to Chuck again and said. 'You know, Chucky, what's common between you and me, hehe?'

'What?' an already semi-sober Chuck slurred.

'Both you and I are under 24/7 protection. But I like yours better, printer boy, hehehe,' he pointed at Sarah.

'Wanna trade my protection against yours?' At that, W. punched Chuck lightly on the shoulder.

'Haaaaa, presidential humor,' Chuck laughed approvingly, 'I like that.' He punched back W.'s shoulder.

'Ouch, Laura!' Bush 43 screamed, 'I was kidding about the supermodel girl.'

His wife had obviously kicked W. under the table.

'See Chuck?' W. went on, 'they can't get my humor. That's why they hate me in America.'

'But they like you in Africa, haaaa,' Chuck yelled after another hefty gulp of the super strong whiskey. 'Right, Sarah?'

'Right,' Sarah said smiling awkwardly. "And in Eastern Europe, I guess.' she added.

'But they hate me in Western Europe, haaaaa' W. went on. 'I win!'

'Haaaaa,' he and the obviously drunken Chuck went on laughing.

'Hey Chuck,' Bush 43 said then, 'where are you staying tonight?'

'I don't know, Mr. President, some hotel here I guess.' Chuck answered.

'Why don't you stay here, in the Lincoln bedroom? I don't need anything in return, you know. Maybe Billy Clinton will call you to ask for a favor, haaaaa.' W. and Chuck burst in laughter again.

'I'll tell the secret service not to tape.' Bush 43 went on winking. 'So don't worry. Just wear protection against your 24/7 protection.'

'Haaaaa,' both were laughing again and pointing at Sarah.

'Ouch!' both a seriously drunk Chuck and Bush 43 screamed simultaneously.

Clearly, both Sarah and Laura Bush had kicked them this time.

Xxx

White House, Lincoln Bedroom, 01:10 same evening.

'Well,' Chuck started once he had sat on the bed. "Now what?'

'Now we sleep, Chuck, what else,' Sarah answered as she was taking her clothes off.

'Oh, I behaved like a jerk, didn't I?' he asked melancholically.

'Actually you didn't.' Sarah said impassionedly. 'You just got drunk. That was some really strong whiskey. I tested it.'

'Oh, but you aren't drunk, are you, Sarah?' Chuck asked.

'Of course I'm not, I'm trained to withstand the effects of all sorts of alcohol.' She said glaring at him.

'Uh, ok, so, um, do you think they won't be … taping, uh, … here, as the guy said?' Chuck slurred hesitantly.

'Of course they will, Chuck, it's standard operating procedure. Don't even think about it. You're too drunk. What if you are a disaster, huh? Do you really want to enter the annals of US government history, as a disaster, you know, … south of the border" Sarah turned angrily to him.

'Oh God!' she thought. Chuck had already lain down and fallen asleep.

Sarah covered him with a bed sheet and lay down next to him. She was still angry at him for getting drunk so quickly but then she remembered. She had tested the whiskey herself and knew that it would be too strong for him. It had some strange taste anyway. If anybody, she should be angry at herself for not warning him in time.

Sarah cursed and tried to get some sleep.

Xxx

The White House, Lincoln Bedroom, 04:18 am, same night.

Sarah and Chuck were still sleeping peacefully. Then, suddenly, Chuck jumped up and without saying a thing started shaking his head in all directions as he was sitting in the bed.

Sarah had already risen as well. She reached for the lamp on the nightstand and turned it on.

'What, Chuck? What is it?' She asked anxiously. But then she realized that he was flashing on something. And munching.

'Mlm-mlm-mlm.'

15 seconds later, he stopped and turned to Sarah.

'Oh my god, Sarah!'

'What Chuck. What's wrong?'

'It's the whiskey. It was in the whiskey. The opiate. It's from Mimosa encephalica. We are doomed. It works like a truth serum.'

'Oh, God, somebody is drugging the entire US government and military and intelligence establishment!' Sarah exclaimed in disbelief.

'Sarah!'

'What Chuck?'

'It's not just that. The plant. It's grown only in one eastern province of China. I flashed on a file of another Chinese intelligence agent. Jin Liang.' Chuck said, feeling the adrenaline rush.

'So?'

'She had the same face as Mi Wong, Sarah. It's the same person. It's Jin Liang and it's her family that were growing this Mimosa encephalica herb. Jin Liang introduced it to the Chinese intelligence.'

'Oh, crap!' Sarah cursed. 'So Mi Wong must have bugged a lot of government offices and will be waiting for all of these secretaries, generals and admirals to spill secrets now! Damn!'

'No, uh …, yeah,' Chuck was stammering something, still panting.

'What, Chuck, you have more bad news?'

'Yeah, yeah, the Mimosa encephalica opiate, it works as a truth serum only for a litle over 72 hours.'

'So?'

'The really bad news is that if you don't treat it with the proper substance in the first 24 hours it causes irreversible changes in the brain. It causes the alpha helices of the CJD prion to unfold and refold as beta-pleated sheets. Exactly as in the Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease, you know, the mad-cow disease.

'But with the Mimosa opiate, uh .. it doesn't eat your brain out as in the mad-cow disease, it just degenerates, like a vegetable, or lobotomized, uh … at least that's how it is described here in the file.' Chuck pointed at his head.

'Oh, crap!' Sarah yelled again while putting her clothes on. 'Anything else? Could anything be worse than that?'

"There is some good news,' Chuck went on. 'Mi Wong's parents had been growing another herb, adjacent to the Mimosa. It contains the substance that can successfully fight the effects of the Mimosa. Before it is too late of course.'

'Great! What's the name of this plant?'

'It doesn't have a name, Sarah. It never got out of China, never entered the international classification. The Chinese government keeps it top secret.'

'Oh God. How is all this in your head if the Chinese government keeps it a secret?' She asked.

'Another Chinese defector in London. He spilled all this. Shortly before his brain degenerated.' Chuck said nervously. 'I saw his picture here. He's like a vegetable.' Chuck pointed at his head. 'The CDC is still trying to help him somehow. No luck.'

'Yeah,' Sarah narrowed her eyes. 'It's not exactly how I imagined this celebration at the White House,' she lay down and exhaled deeply.

'Now what, Sarah?' Chuck asked.

'I don't know Chuck, I'm thinking.' Sarah answered with her hands on her face. In fact she had no idea what to do now. She hadn't been able to gather her thoughts and figure out where to start with solving this crisis. Was it even solvable at all?

'Bzzzzz, bzzzz.'

'What's that, Chuck?'

'It's my cell phone.' Chuck took it and answered. 'Hello.'

'Hello, Chuck,' a female with an Asian accent said.

'Who is this?'

'You know who I am. I am bugging the Lincoln bedroom and heard you flash. I have heard about the Intersect but didn't know it was you. Well, now I know. Put this conversation on speaker so your CIA lover can hear my demands.'

'OK.' Chuck pressed a button on his cell.

'Good. I have the antidote to the encephalica. Yeah, your flash was right. It was my parents who had been growing it.'

'What do you want, Wong?' Sarah hissed at her.

'Oh, Walker, don't be so angry. Yet. Sometimes you win in this game, sometimes you lose. Well, I always win. I want Chuck. And the Skunk Works disks.' The voice was really bad quality, going through some terrible crack.

'When and where?' Sarah asked.

'Oh, you think I'm so stupid to meet you on US territory? My plane is in the air now; it left US air space some time ago. Chuck needs to be in Beijing with the disks, preferably within the next 18 hours. If he wants his amazing brain matter undamaged.'

"I'll be waiting for you at the Beijing airport. Over.' Mi Wong had hung up.

'Great,' Sarah exhaled really deep. 'Now, we are really screwed up. Like never before!'

The End

A/N: Well, I guess, I forgot to write a proper ending of this story. What a bum I am! After I finish my other story, Chuck Versus Agent Insanity Part II, which I totally abandoned for no good reason, there will be Chuck Versus The Quirk - Part II.

Thanks for the interest again and very special thanks to NickyR, as always.