Scene 26 – Monday - Peter's 1st day at school

After Penny completed her workday she rushed home as quickly as she could. She flew up the stairs and flung open her door to find Peter and Sheldon playing Halo.

"Um, I was expecting to find you doing your homework, Peter."

"I finished it while I was in Sheldon's office waiting for him and Raj to finish what they were doing."

"Don't you have reading or stuff to catch up with?"

"Did it all and even read ahead."

"Sheldon?"

"Penny, I reviewed Peter's work and even quizzed him on the material he read. I am satisfied that he is in fine shape for tomorrow and possibly even the remainder of the week."

"So I'm not going to be hearing otherwise from your teachers or the director?"

"Mom, if I get too far ahead I think that might be a problem."

"Peter is quite correct, Penny. It is appropriate that he have enough of a grasp of the material so that through discussing it with his teachers and fellow students tomorrow he becomes curious about other areas of inquiry. He really is in good academic shape."

"What about catching up?"

"We have discussed it and I emailed his teacher…"

"You emailed his teacher? Shouldn't I be doing that?"

"To be more specific, I emailed his teacher about the details of the work and whether Peter had enough of a grounding to proceed. She told me that based upon his participation in class today you need not be overly concerned. I am sorry if I may have overstepped. I wanted to know what I should be working on with Peter."

"Mom, chill. Please. Everything is fine."

"Did you enjoy yourself? Did you make friends?"

"I had fun at school. There are a couple of kids who live nearby and I was hoping that it would be okay with you if I joined a study group they're setting up. They meet Wednesdays after school. I'd still be able to ride home with Sheldon and Raj."

"It sounds okay. So you were fine with school. Nobody picked on you or anything for being the new kid?"

"Mom. I'm in school with a bunch of nerds. We all used to get picked on. We're there to learn. We don't have time for stupid stuff."

"Okay. I was just worried."

"I get it. It was your first day of school too."

"Yeah."

"Penny, would you like a hot beverage. Perhaps some hot chocolate."

"That would be nice, Sheldon. I'm just gonna take a shower and get changed."

When Penny finished she checked her phone and saw a text from Leonard.

Pls come over rt away. Very impt I c u. Leonard

Penny changed and went out to her living room.

"Guys, I got a text from Leonard. I'm gonna go over and find out what the bug up his butt is and then we'll figure out dinner. Okay?"

Scene 27

Penny slowly walked over to Apartment 4A. "This better not be yet another attempt to get me to fuck him," she thought.

She knocked and Leonard opened the door. He leaned in to kiss her hello and she offered him her cheek.

"What's going on Leonard? I don't have a lot of time."

"You don't seem to have much time for me at all since Peter got here."

"Are we going to go through this again? You know what the deal is. You just need to figure out whether to shit or get off the pot, Leonard."

"Well. Perhaps there's another solution."

"What did you do, Leonard?"

"It occurred to me that there's someone else who might have an opinion about where Peter should be living."

"Leonard, you'd better not have done what I think you did."

Leonard pointed over to the couch. Penny stared for a minute, barely recognizing the man sitting there.

"Todd Witherspoon? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Hello, Penny. It's nice to see you too. It's been a while. My family moved to Montana a while back and I don't know how but your friend Leonard…"

"Fiancé!" Leonard interjected while adopting a proud stance.

"Your fiancé Leonard found me and when he told me I might have a son I just had to come meet him."

"Really. So out of the goodness of your heart you went searching for Peter's father to what, Leonard?"

"Peter should know both of his parents. It's only right."

Penny decided to play along.

"So Todd, it's been a long time. What have you been up to?"

"Well, like I said I live in Montana. I'm divorced. No kids. I have a pretty successful dry wall business. I own my own house near my parents and all the local schools in a great little town. The only thing I'm missing is a family to share it with."

"So you're thinking you can swoop in and take Peter back with you. Instant family."

"If that's what he wants. And now that I see you again I'm thinking that maybe I don't just want Peter to come back with me."

"Hey, wait a minute. This isn't what we talked about." Leonard shouted.

"Hold on a second, Leonard," Penny responded. "This is sounding interesting. I mean, I know it's been a long time and we were only together the once but I did enjoy it and, to be honest Leonard, Todd does have a bigger cock than you do. Much bigger."

"Penny, what are you saying? That you and Peter would go back to Montana with this guy?"

"Well, Leonard, didn't you realize that would be a possibility? Didn't you think that maybe you were reuniting me with the first great love of my life. I mean, Todd and I had a baby, Leonard. Did you and I have a baby?"

Leonard just stood there sputtering. He had been absolutely certain that he would be able to rid himself of Peter this way. Now he was going to lose Penny too. He pulled out his inhaler and started to look as though he couldn't breathe at all.

Todd looked alarmed.

"Penny, should we call 911. He looks like he's having some sort of attack."

"It'll be okay. He has these things all the time. I'll take care of it. Leonard, calm down. I'm not going anywhere."

Leonard began to calm down and a look of relief appeared on his face.

"Penny, my offer is serious. You wouldn't have to work anymore. You could take care of the house and Peter and me. It's a pretty good life."

"I'm sure it is, Todd. For you. But it's not for me. I belong here."

"But what about Peter. I want to know my son."

"Todd, I know it was a long time ago but think back. When exactly did we go out?"

"Well, it was my junior year and I took you to the fall formal."

"Why?"

"Well, you were pretty hot looking…"

"And was that the only reason you asked me, who you barely knew, to the big fall dance?"

"Um…uh…I heard you put out."

"Really?"

"Um, yeah. All the guys kind of knew."

"No need to be embarrassed, Todd. I know what the boys said about me. Some of it was even true."

Leonard was shuffling back and forth looking very uncomfortable.

"So what happened, Todd?"

"Well, we danced a bunch and drank the spiked punch and then after…"

"What happened after, Todd?"

"We went out to my van and you gave me a blow job."

"How was it, Todd?"

"Penny, do you really want to have this conversation in front of your fiancé?"

"Hey, he invited you here. He knew we had a history. I'm just making sure he's aware of all of it because he wants us to share everything, don't you Leonard?"

"I, um, thought I did."

"Well, we do now. Go on, Todd. What happened next?"

"We…um…made love in my van."

"I'm not so sure I'd characterize it exactly that way, Todd. We fucked. A couple of times."

"Yeah, we were there for a while. And then I drove you home."

"And after that?"

"You, uh, called me a couple of times and tried to talk to me in school but…"

"You basically didn't ever speak to me again, did you?"

"Um, no."

"You did, however, tell lots of other people what happened between us, didn't you?"

"I guess."

"You don't need to guess. Pretty much every guy you knew started asking me out. Some of them didn't even feel the need to ask me on a date. They kindly offered to let me blow them in pretty much every dark corner of the high school."

"Yeah, but then you got fat and didn't look so hot anymore."

"But I'm not fat now."

"No, you're not."

"And you think that based on that relationship I should allow my son to go live with you and consider doing the same thing myself."

"Well, he's my son too, right?"

"When was the fall formal?"

"I don't remember the exact date."

"The month will do."

"I think it was late September."

"Yup. And that was the only time we, um, fucked, right?"

"Yeah, but it was pretty memorable."

"Yeah. Thanks. Peter's birthday is August 20th. Do the math."

"He's, um, not my son."

"Nope."

"So this was all a waste of time."

"Not for me. I learned a lot. Nice seeing you, Todd. Have a nice trip back to Montana. I do hope that Leonard is paying."

Penny turned and was about to leave when Leonard stopped her.

"Leonard, you so do not want to hear anything I have to say to you right now."

"Penny, I was trying to do the right thing for Peter."

"Bullshit. This was about you and nobody else. You're jealous of Peter and you think him being here is affecting our engagement."

"Well, yeah."

"Y'know, I get that it's hard for you to adjust to this change in our lives, Peter being here. I was perfectly willing to give you as much time and space as you needed to come to terms with it."

"I appreciate that."

"Yeah, well, appreciate this. Time's up."

Penny turned, walked out the door and slammed it behind her.

"Dude," Todd Witherspoon said, "She's pretty mad. She did Junior Rodeo back home. We're lucky we still have our balls."

Leonard just stood there thinking that his plan wasn't supposed to go this way.

Todd got ready to leave.

"Well, um, this was interesting, Leonard. Thanks for flying me out and putting me up at the hotel. And thanks for also covering my room service bill. I'll probably be hitting that honor bar pretty hard tonight. See ya."

Leonard sat down on the couch and just stared out into space. He didn't acknowledge Sheldon at all when he came in. He just sat there. A while later there was a knock at the door. Sheldon had gone straight to his room so after a few knocks Leonard went to open the door and found Peter waiting for him.

"What can I do for you, Peter?"

"Well, for starters you can tell me why my mom has been crying ever since she came back from speaking to you."

"Um, that's private."

Unfortunately, Sheldon's Vulcan hearing picked up what Peter said and he came out of his room.

"Leonard, what did you do to upset Penny?

"How do you know it was something I did?"

"History, experience, and I'm aware she was speaking with you prior to her onslaught of tears."

"It's nothing. I'm sure it's just all the changes in her life catching up with her."

"So you're saying that it's me that's making her cry?" Peter asked.

"Maybe," Leonard offered quietly.

"Peter, let's you and I see if we can cheer Penny up."

"Okay, Sheldon."

"I'll come too," Leonard volunteered.

"No," insisted Peter. "You aren't welcome in our apartment anymore."

"Peter, I kind of think that's Penny's decision," Leonard responded.

Leonard hadn't noticed the door open. Penny was standing there with a tear-streaked face listening to the exchange between Peter, Leonard and Sheldon.

"Actually, Leonard," Penny said hoarsely from the doorway, "I agree with my son. You are no longer welcome in our home. And while I'm at it…" Penny paused as she pulled the ring off her finger and threw it at him, "you can put this back in your pocket."

"Penny, you're overreacting," Leonard protested.

"Not so sure that I am. You've had a bug up your butt since Peter got here and you have made no secret of wanting him gone. Well, he's here as long as he wants to be and I want that to be forever. Since you apparently can't get behind my desire to be with my son I guess I'll just have to cut you loose."

"Penny, no…"

"Peter, Sheldon, come on over. Give me a minute to clean myself up and then let's go out for some dinner. My treat."

Peter looked over at Sheldon expectantly.

"I'd be happy to join you two for dinner as long as we can go to the horribly loud comic book shop afterwards. There are some items that I believe Peter might like for his new room."

"Can we, mom?"

"Of course we can. I wouldn't mind picking up a couple of things myself."

Leonard could only stand there staring as he watched the future he so carefully planned go up in smoke.