Disclaimer: I claim disownership of the following - Back to the Future, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, The Matrix, Star Wars (inclusive of YJK), Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, The Frighteners, Harry Potter, The Powerpuff Girls (Faolcrop... *grrrr*) and anything else I forgot to mention.
After this chapter, I'm sorry but there will be no more new universes introduced. It's just getting too messy for me to handle. *is stressed. After the exams, too. If only the teachers knew...*
They've Got Mail: Chapter 11
~-~-~
From - sexy_in_a_loincloth(at)precious(.)net
To - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
You knows exactly what we is talking about, precious. You has taken our heartses, you has. And we has decided to lets you keep it, precious. Hasn't we, precious? You don't really wants Clara, does you?
~-~-~
From - luke_skywalker(at)
To - solo_guy(at)wookieeland(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: nil
Hi Han.
Thanks for returning my lightsabre. You could have polished it first, though. There're fingerprints all over the case; I think they're your kids'.
I went back to that starwars(.)com site yesterday. It's really weird; all over it I could sense some kind of emptiness of the Force, like it didn't exist there. I can't explain but it's was sort of like a huge void in the Force at that site. Do you know that there's even a message board there? How could they know all that about us? I suspect it might be the work of some Dark Force wielder... perhaps another rising Emperor? The Empire might be planning something. Go warn Leia to be careful of this person named George Lucas. I think he's in charge or something, because his name appears all over the site.
- Luke
~-~-~
From - bifftannenrules(at)wehatemanure(.)com
To - deathtobiff(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: Your blood is mine
Oh yeah? And how are you going to do that?
~-~-~
From - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
To - sexy_in_a_loincloth(at)precious(.)net
Subject: Re: Re: nil
So you do want Clara? Can you be more specific as to what you're talking about, because I don't understand a word of your e-mail. All I can gather from it is the terrible standard of your English.
~-~-~
From - MrsscapSmith/halfelf(at)naturalhazared(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Biff, and how much he sucks.
Hi! Biff said some really really nasty things to poor little me after I tried to be nice (really, such things shouldn't be said to a young lady!) so ya know, I you ever want me to send one of my Evil creations to him, just give me the word and I'll send you the list (free of charge! Aren't I nice?) Ok?
Remember, I offer same day delivery too!
Laters
Scap
~-~-~
From - frank_bannister(at)fbpi(.)com
To - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Dimensional Crisis... need help?
Hi Dr. Brown. You probably don't know me, but I accidentally received this e-mail from you about some dimensional crisis going on. Actually the mail was addressed to DShannon but for some reason I got it too. Anyway, this dimensional thing might have some supernatural connotations and I deal in that sort of thing. Need any help?
- Frank Bannister
Psychic Investigations
~-~-~
From - supergreatarcher(at)rivendell(.)com
To - aragorn_the_king(at)boredroyaldudes(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: nil
Aragorn, please don't tell me that you have no idea what soap or shampoo is. Even you should have some idea.
- Legolas
~-~-~
From - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
To - luke_skywalker(at)
Subject: The Matrix
Wake up, Luke.
The Matrix has you.
Follow the Ewok with pink polka dots.
Knock knock, Luke.
My name is Neo.
And I know all about you, Luke.
Of how you mourn your father's death.
Of how you mourn Ben's death.
Of how you mourn Yoda's death.
Of how you wonder why everyone you know is dying so suddenly, and if it will happen to you.
I can answer all your questions, Luke.
"What exactly is starwars(.)com?"
"Why can't I have a pink lightsabre?"
"Is my father's asthma hereditary?
"Who is Mark Hamill?"
I have the answers, Luke.
Now all you have to do... is follow the Ewok with pink polka dots.
- Neo Anderson
~-~-~
From - buttercup_sucks(at)aol(.)com
To - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: Good job
Yes. I want you to find any information on this club. It's called the "I LOVE DOC BROWN CLUB" My ex-girlfriend has joined it. See if you can find any other info about it, then e-mail it to me.
Can you do it?
- Faolcrop
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - MrsscapSmith/halfelf(at)naturalhazared(.)com
Subject: Re: Biff, and how much he sucks.
'Evil creations'? Okay, you can send over the list.
- Marty
~-~-~
From - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
To - ziontouristcommission(at)thematrix(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: nil
I was just wondering, that's all. And can you quit calling me 'dude'? It gets a little irritating after a while.
- Neo
~-~-~
From - stoko981(at)hotmail(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Well...
How do I know? Well... it's a secret. I know that sounds mean, and, well, it is, but just try and go with the flow and... oh, yeah I almost forgot, there's this great TV show you should check out, I'm not sure when it'd be on in your area, but it's called Spin City. It's a comedy about the Deputy Mayor of New York (played by Michael J. Fox). Hope you enjoy it ^_^
~-~-~
From - smeagol_eat_fish(at)precious(.)net
To - sexy_in_a_loincloth(at)precious(.)net
Subject: The Precious
Elrond doesn't knows about the Precious. Elrond is our friend! He will not takes the Precious, no! No!
- Smeagol
~-~-~
From - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: nil
Marty, I got this just now:
Hi Dr. Brown. You probably don't know me, but I accidentally received this e-mail from you about some dimensional crisis going on. Actually the mail was addressed to DShannon but for some reason I got it too. Anyway, this dimensional thing might have some supernatural connotations and I deal in that sort of thing. Need any help?
- Frank Bannister
Psychic Investigations
New Zealand
Go take care of him. He sounds like some kind of psycho. I've got too much to do at the moment with regards to repairing the dimensional rips.
- Doc
~-~-~
From - sexy_in_a_loincloth(at)precious(.)net
To - smeagol_eat_fish(at)precious(.)net
Subject: Re: The Precious
Elrond our friend, precious? You is stupid! Elrond is not our friend! Elrond wants the precious, he does! And the fish! Precious, you can'ts decides who is our friend! Only I cans! Only I cans!
- Gollum
~-~-~
From - solo_guy(at)wookieeland(.)com
To - luke_skywalker(at)
Subject: Re: Re: Re: nil
You mean you're still going to that site? I bet it's just some big joke or something; any kid can design a website. I doubt there's anything of much importance there.
- Han
~-~-~
From - aragorn_the_king(at)boredroyaldudes(.)com
To - supergreatarcher(at)rivendell(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: nil
No, I don't know what soap or shampoo is. Should I? I thought they were just some words you made up.
- Aragorn
~-~-~
From - buttercup_sucks(at)aol(.)com
To - octis_pal(at)puppet_pals(.)com
Subject: nil
Hey Bubbles! Faolcrop here! Just checking up on you. Just wondering something. Did you happen to get something from a Tara Strong? Or a Neo Anderson telling you about a Tara Strong? Blossom got something like that, but with Cathy Cavadini. Please respond.
- Faolcrop
~-~-~
From - Fuzzy_J_Pip_Fox_McFly(at)yahoo(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Hey, I love musical instruments!
For your information, Mr. Sexy, I love musical instruments! And I own a guitar! A yellow one! And... lots of other... instruments. And there is too something wrong with Jennifer. She's awful! You won't believe the things she says to me for no reason. *cries* I just want a friend... But you would hit her over the head with something else!? Like a chair!? Would ya, would ya? Please? ;_; I... *sniff* need... *sniff sniff* you!
~Piper *sniff*
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - jules_is_a_stupid_idiot(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: nil
Hi Verne.
I was just wondering... do you know anything about this TV show called Spin City?
Email me back if you do. Thanks.
- Marty
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - frank_bannister(at)fbpi(.)com
Subject: Dimensional Crisis
Hi Frank, Dr. Brown told me to deal with you because he's kinda busy at the moment... so, what kind of help can you give? Doc forwarded your e-mail to me but it wasn't detailed enough. Do you even know what's going on in the first place?
- Marty McFly
~-~-~
To - buttercup_sucks(at)aol(.)com
From - octis_pal(at)puppetpals(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
No. But I got something from Buttercup. An anti-Faolcrop thingy. I can't read it. Too many F-words. Here's her new address: faolcrop_sucks(at)ppg(.)com.
- Bubbles, the cutest
~-~-~
From - inlovewithdoc(at)aol(.)com
To - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: nil
Look Emmett... I have been with you through this whole thing since the beginning... I understand more about this time traveling stuff than SHE does... oh yeah and I know that you invented the flux capacitor on Nov 5th 1955 after you hit your head on the sink and the picture of the fc came to your head... I know about the Libyans and the trip to 2015 and the almanac and Biff... I stood by you Emmett baby through thick and thin... don't push me away...and don't ask me how I know...love you.
- Gina
~-~-~
From - luke_skywalker(at)
To - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
Subject: Re: The Matrix
What is The Matrix?
And the fact that you know so much about me isn't really such a big deal... lots of people do. As for mentioning Mark Hamill, that just shows that you probably have something to do with that starwars(.)com thing. The New Republic is going to hear about this, so you better stop whatever you're doing.
I've never seen an Ewok with pink polka dots in my life, and I don't think I ever will.
~-~-~
From - founderofclaytonravine(at)hotmail(.)com
To - buttercup_sucks(at)aol(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Good job
I looked but I can't seem to find any information on the club. Sorry.
- Clara
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - Fuzzy_J_Pip_Fox_McFly(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Re: Hey, I love musical instruments!
Yeah, I love musical instruments too.
Why on earth should I hit Jennifer with anything? If she's being mean to you, there must be some reason to it. From what I hear, you've been sending her hate mail.
- Marty
~-~-~
The following is an e-mail that has been circulating around the Internet for a while... I thought it was funny. All copyrights belong to the person who came up with it.
~-~-~
From - thejunkmaildude(at)yahoo(.)com
To - pepsi_vs_coke(at)hotmail(.)com, ladilaboo(at)yahoo(.)com, deathtothefrickinclocktower(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com, lame_jokes_shall_rule_the_world(at)yahoo(.)com, muahahaha_smellysocks(at)yahoo(.)com, ihaveadeadhamster(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: What my mother taught me!!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught! me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother ! taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING."You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
~-~-~
From - inlovewithdoc(at)aol(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: nil
You will help me Marty or I will tell your mother that she kissed her own son on Nov 12 1955 the day of the famous Hill Valley lightning storm and the day you went back to 1985... don't ask me how I know these things Marty... but you will help me or I will go to Lorraine.
- Gina
~-~-~
From - frank_bannister(at)fbpi(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Re: Dimensional Crisis
So you two are Doc Brown and Marty McFly? Back to the Future fans, huh? ;) Nice e-mail addresses. Uh... actually, I don't really know what's going on. Tell me all you know; I might be of some help.
- Frank
P.S. Can you reply to my other email address (i_see_dead_people(at)yahoo(.)com)? This one's getting a little full at the moment. Thanks.
~-~-~
From - buttercup_sucks(at)aol(.)com
To - fangflux(at)hotmail(.)com, inlovewithdoc(at)aol(.)com
Subject: nil
Look! I hate to be pessimistic, but Doc's staying with Clara. Don't bother trying, but you could make your own Doc clones. Just a suggestion.
- Faolcrop
~-~-~
From - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
To - inlovewithdoc(at)aol(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Look, I thought I was clear enough about this. I am NOT leaving Clara for you, no matter what happens. She'll learn everything in a while. Just give her time. As for you knowing so much about me... it's no surprise really. I know where you come from, after all.
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - i_love_calvin_klein(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: nil
Hi Mom.
This person is threatening to send you weird stuff because of something I did, so if you receive any strange sounding e-mails ignore them and their contents and just delete it. Thanks.
- Marty
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: nil
Doc,
You know that Frank person you told me to take care of? He's one of THEM. He asked me if I'm a Back to the Future fan... what am I supposed to do now? He's freaking me out, Doc. Big time. And that was just one email.
- Marty
~-~-~
From - jules_is_a_stupid_idiot(at)hotmail(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Hi Marty.
Spin City? Yeah, I've watched some of it... I think its some future TV show. There's a guy in there who looks kinda like you too. Why?
- Verne
~-~-~
From - stoko981(at)hotmail(.)com
To - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Poker
Well, I've just always found a good poker face funny, you know, when the opponent really has no idea if you're bluffing? And I always thought you'd have an excellent poker face, and if you make that 3 poker faces, all identical, and make two of them vampires who can read minds and influence them (although that last one might not be too comical), it could be a good recipe for a nice comedy.
~-~-~
From - neo_anderson(at)thematrix(.)com
To - luke_skywalker(at)
Subject: Re: Re: The Matrix
No one can tell you what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. You know the truth, Luke. You've seen the site; don't try to deny what you know is true. It's all a movie, Luke. The truth is waiting for you out there. All you've got to do is follow the Ewok with pink polka dots. It'll appear soon, believe me.
- Neo
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - inlovewithdoc(at)aol(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Nope, sorry, won't help you.
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - jules_is_a_stupid_idiot(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: Re: nil
Never mind.
~-~-~
From - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Franks's not one of 'Them'; he's from yet another dimension. I've got this system rigged up that can tell. Interesting... it seems the movie exists in other dimensions as well. This could become educational. Just don't scare him away as yet; he might prove useful. If you want to, you can keep your identity a secret, though I doubt he'd believe you anyway.
~-~-~
From - Fuzzy_J_Pip_Fox_McFly(at)yahoo(.)com
To - Jen_Parker241(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: WAR!
NO! You can't capitalize your address! That was the only thing I had on you! I mean, um... THIS IS WAR!
~Piper *DIE*
~-~-~
From - therapy_girl(at)
To - jules_shall_prevail(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: I think I'm in love with you...
Hi, Jules... I found your addy. I do hope you don't mind me writing to you. It's just that you are the most incredibly sexy guy I've ever seen!
Perhaps I should introduce myself. I'm Cho Chang, I'm a witch, and I'm really, really pretty. Lots of boys like me, but I only have my heart for you. I'm also seeing a psychologist, but I think that just adds to my appeal, don't you?
Anyway, I just had to tell you how I felt about you. E-mail me back if you think we should get to know each other better.
Tata, you hunk.
~Cho~
~-~-~
From - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - i_see_dead_people(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Dimensional Crisis
Forget the dimensional crisis for the moment... You mean you know about Back to the Future too?
- Marty
~-~-~
From - solo_guy(at)wookieeland(.)com
To - luke_skywalker(at)
Subject: nil
Hi Luke.
You'll never guess what happened today. I took the kids on a little trip to Endor, and while they were there Jacen went crazy with his paint blaster. So now there're a bunch of multi-coloured Ewoks on the planet. There was even one with pink polka dots...
Anyway, I'd better go now and leave you to do whatever it is you Jedi do.
- Han
~-~-~
From - i_love_calvin_klein(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Okay, I will. Thanks.
~-~-~
From - Jen_Parker241(at)yahoo(.)com
To - fuzzy_j_pip_fox_mcfly(at)yahoo(.)com
Subject: Re: WAR!
Well, I DID! I CAPITALIZED MY EMAIL ADDRESS!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... YOU LEAVE MY MARTY ALONE! *stabs*
- Jennifer *YOU DIE FIRST*
~-~-~
From - jules_is_a_stupid_idiot(at)hotmail(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: nil
Hiya Marty!
Jules received a love letter today! It was from this person named Cho Chang. I don't know who she is. She sounds crazy, anyway. Jules was REALLY mad. He hit me when I asked him if he liked her. She thinks he's a hunk, too. And he's only eleven... wait till I tell Mom. He's in for it now. =D
- Verne
~-~-~
From - outatime_elb(at)yahoo(.)com
To - stoko981(at)hotmail(.)com
Subject: Re: Poker
Well, I don't find it funny.
~-~-~
From - i_see_dead_people(at)yahoo(.)com
To - futureboy85(at)hillvalleymail(.)com
Subject: Re: nil
Hi Marty.
You mean I shouldn't know about BTTF? I thought a lot of people have watched it... it's that Eric Stoltz movie, right? I've seen it once or twice; it was okay, I guess, but I'm not exactly a die-hard fan like you and Dr. Brown obviously are.
- Frank
~-~-~
TO BE CONTINUED... Please review! ^_^
I have the strange feeling that I missed out replying to some e-mails. If I did, please remind me. Thanks.
To those people who have absolutely NO idea as to what is going
on, the current same-actor jokes at the moment are as follows:
1)
Neo Anderson and Ted Theodore Logan - Keanu Reeves
2) Elrond and
Agent Smith - Hugo Weaving
3) Marty McFly and Frank Bannister -
Michael J. Fox
Possible upcoming: 1) Count Dooku and Saruman - Christopher
Lee
(If I decide to add in X-Men; a certain classmate threatened
to flame everyone of my fics if I did):
2) Captain Jean Luc Picard
and Professor Xavier - Patrick Stewart
3) Gandalf and Magneto -
Ian McKellen
If I left out anyone, tell me in your reviews. ^_^
~-~-~
Nixiy: Thanks for reviewing! Gollum and Smeagol forever... but you sent in four. I SAID MAXIMUM THREE! Multiple reviews all count as one. Why'd you have to add in Harry Potter... argh... I wanted to leave it out but I couldn't resist torturing Jules. *sighs*
Scap: So you're a vegetarian? Hey, what's wrong with meat?
Faolcrop: FAOLCROP, YOU EVIL GIT! I SAID MAXIMUM THREE contributions!!! *growls* This is the last time I'm letting you get by.
Stoko: So I'm a good writer? Try telling that to the person who marked my English composition exam. Then again, I thought that was one real bad story I wrote... Anyway, thanks for reviewing! ^_^
Imogen262: Yup, I'm only 13. =D Going on 14. And I live in some country which you've probably never heard of. Well, maybe you have. Which words do you mean? 0.0 Uh, a cytoplasmic organelle is a ribosome. My science teacher said that it would make a good swear word, so... Thanks for all your reviews! You're the first person I know of who reviewed all my BTTF fics in one day.
docnov121955: You're never going to give up, are you? =P MUAHAHAHAHA!
Muskrat: I used html; that's how I got the bold. I can't post the code here though, because then it wouldn't appear.
Uh... I dowanna sign in. MAN, I'm lazy: Hi Pip! =D *imagines drum major with pink hair* 0.0 *imagines conductor with pink hair* O.o What's a brain fart? *stares* So how was your competition? ^^ My band wants to postpone our concert to next year January because we're really bad... oh well. Yup, this is getting really stressful. Bleagh.
chrisfardell: I'm really, really, really, REALLY sorry for not including either of your e-mails, but uh... I haven't watched either Freaky Friday or Doctor Who. (I will, one day, but not yet.) Also, as I said earlier, it was getting a little crowded here so... SORRY!
Flaming Trails: Yup. I went to check after I posted the chapter and I saw it... Okay, he replied.
Fallen Hawk: Thanks for reviewing! ^_^ And why are almost all of your fics slash? Need psychological help, do you?