AN: I have had the worst case of writers block ever. Every time I open up my laptop and start to write another bad thing happens and puts me into another funk.
SM owns it, I don't. Wish I did then maybe I would have a savings account that wasn't laughable and I wouldn't be so frigging depressed at the moment.
Thanks to Sbrande for being the bestist Beta and friend. Dix for her frequently damp shoulder, sorry toots. Thanks to Hoodfabulous you don't know it but you kept me smiling on a very dark day. (Check her out guys, she is an amazing author) Sorry it took so long for this one but if you read the AN at the bottom it will tell you why I've been under a rock.
COMING TO
I came to lying on the couch with my head cradled in Edward's lap. He stroked my hair while talking with the others. Emmett held Rose on the love seat wrapped in a heavy quilt. She was glassy eyed with shock, and he held her in the cocoon of his strong arms. I guess the Fae can go into shock just like us lowly humans. I don't blame her really, what happened scared the hell out of me too.
They didn't notice that my eyes were cracked so I did my best to keep still and keep my breathing regular. I knew that they kept secrets from me. Hell, there was something new it seemed popping up every day. I was going to flush out every secret I could one way or another.
"Again, Strega?" Jasper asked, pacing the length of the room. Alice sat on a cushion by the hearth.
"No, it's different," Alice replied, "I am older than the lot of you so I can say I've seen a Strega and she is not one of those."
"What is different?" Emmett asked as he brushed hair from Roses cheek.
"Strega suck the life from their victims almost like a vampire drains the victim of blood. A vampire can't kill us just put us out for a while. A Strega will drain a victim of all they are, their energy and their life leaving a brittle shell. They are faster draining a human, we take a little while longer, but in the end we all end up the same, dead. Bella didn't take their life; she didn't suck them completely dry either. Whatever this power is it stopped before killing them."
Emmett said, "Well she did kill them with that knife of hers, but this, this is beyond that." He shook his head, baffled with the mystery. Emmett was a fun loving, just the facts sort of guy.
Alice thought for a moment, and then said with a faraway look in her eye, "Each of our powers had to be blooded in combat as an offering to Deity so we can keep them. Well, this is the second time she absorbed the blood."
"Strega don't absorb the blood! The draining they do is not a given power from the Deity; it's just part of their genetic makeup," Jasper said excitedly. "So why did she? Do you think she is taking more than the energy? Is it the baby?" he asked with a puzzled look. You could almost see him organizing facts and theories in his mind.
"Maybe, but I don't think we have seen it all yet," Alice said looking at me. She smiled then before giving me a wink. "You can quit faking sleep Bella."
"Busted, sorry, I was just trying to hear if you knew something and wasn't telling me." I started to try to sit up and had to have Edward's help. "I'm tired of secrets," I said, a little short of breath. The baby was pushing everything up and it felt like she had shrunk my air supply.
"How do you feel?" Edward asked looking down at me concern marred across his forehead. He pulled me close and wrapped his arms tight around me. He buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath. His arms squeezed me a little tighter and then loosened. He was shook up, but was hiding it well.
"Don't think I'm sick when I say this, but I feel good, full, not food full though. I feel full of energy and vigor," I tell them as they watch me. Edwards's arms tighten around me protectively and one hand slips under my shirt to caress my rounded belly. I feel movement and smile up at him. "I think she feels better also."
Jaspers head popped up and he looked at me. "Yes, she just got a big meal, she should be feeling fine." He looked toward Alice, "Could it be the hungry hand?" Alice's eyes glazed for a moment then she focused on him and nodded.
"Ok, here you go with that hand stuff again. I'm so confused, does this shit come with an owner's manual or a cliff notes version?" I asked, but they ignored me.
"That hasn't been seen for over three thousand years."
"Ahem, I asked a question." They just continue.
"I was just a small child," Alice said looking at him. "But I remember talk of that. Oleg the Cruel welded that hand of power."
"Human in the house. Woo hoo, are you listening to me?" I waived one arm about for the effect. If they didn't start explaining something I was going to pull out my inner Catherine Tate and give them an "I'm not bothered routine" that would piss the whole lot off. Wait! "Did you just say you're fucking three thousand years old Alice?"
"Not the issue at the moment Bella," Alice said. "The issue is that we think you have a hand of power like us."
"How is that possible Alice?"
Jasper stopped pacing and spoke up. "Your baby actually has the hand of power and she is wielding it through you, Bella." He looked at me thoughtfully. "We already know that this was brought about by Goddess." He shrugged, "All things are possible."
"Yes, and you don't question Deity," Emmitt quipped. "Do that and the really bad shit shows up."
"Bad shit Emmitt, really, I'm sucking people up like a milk shake!" I answered sarcastically.
"Regardless," Jasper brought us back to the subject. "This is a formidable power. You need discipline to wield it." He began pacing again. "This child at a very early age is going to have powers beyond what we have ever seen. This power in a child," he shook his head at what ever thought he was having. "A small child has no concept of right or wrong. She could become a killing machine."
He was starting to sound like someone I should protect my daughter from. I tensed up. I thought to myself that if he comes at me with the intention of harming my child I would do my best to suck him dry before he hurt my baby. Friend would become foe very quick.
"No Jasper. The power is defensive. She is using it to protect and feed herself it at the moment. This is just temporary." I had a feeling that she wasn't telling all, but Alice never did tell all. You had to drag it out of her.
"And," I asked. "What else did you see in your crystal ball Alice?"
"She wields the powers she takes." Everyone came alert at that. "No two powers are the same remember. Oleg could strip you of your powers and yes it did give him a charge. He used people like his own personal battery charger for his other hand of power. "
"What else, Alice?"
"I saw the baby pulling power from someone and then turning around and using it on them."
Jasper stopped pacing and turned to Alice. "Assuming that is what she does. Do you think Bella can do the same until the child is born?"
"The same?" Edward asked. 'What do you mean?"
"Yes, pull the powers and use them. Remember she was blooded twice now by Deity. Both Victoria and James had two powers. What if she could harness those powers? At least it would mean Bella could protect herself better."
"Alice?" Edward looked to Alice for conformation to the question. Her eyes glazed for a moment and then cleared. She nodded in the affirmative.
Edward looked at Jasper. "It will help her protect herself when we are not there to do so."
"Yes, it will come in handy. What were James and Victoria's powers?"
"Victoria could shatter bone or organs with her hand of power; I don't know what she called it though. Her other hand of power was elusion. She could loose someone that was tracking her if it was needed.
We were startled by Roses voice. "James gifts were tracking and terror. He could find you no matter where you hid. He also could make you see and feel horrible things that weren't really there or he would do something really horrible to you and amplify the terror of it."
"I'm so sorry Rose." I whispered.
"No Bella," Rose whispered, "You revenged me very well I thought."
Emmett snorted, "Yep, she did a number on him. So, if she gets each of their powers she now has four, no five powers." He ticked them off on his fingers and named each. "Eluding, shattering of bone and organ, tracking, and the ability to make someone feel or see terrible things. Plus the Hungry Hand which sucks away powers like a vacuum."
It made me dizzy thinking of it. But what did Alice say, "Wait one damn minute, what do you mean when you aren't there to protect me? Where am I going?" I asked in a panic.
"Bella, you just killed a second member of the Queens guards. There were three with him also killed by the guards. The Queen was in a panic over Victoria missing. When James and the other men don't return it's going to put her over the edge," Edward said. "She will be watching all of the court, looking for traitors. I am the next in line and her biggest threat so we will be watched even more than the rest."
Jasper took over for him, "The trackers will follow them here. It will take a while, maybe a week or two, but we need to move now."
Edward turned me to look me in the eye. "We have to destroy everything here Bella, the trackers will get the scent and follow if we don't."
"How can you get rid of all trace of us?"
"Magic and fire, but it will only destroy the scent of the individual. There will still be a trace of Fae here."
"Oh shit, how will I explain to Mom and Phil that I had to burn their house down? I'm so going to jail if I do something like that!" The thought just threw me into a panic.
Edward exchanged a look with the others and then looked at me. The look was apologetic. Alice got up and sat beside us, and leaned in, "Bella honey, you can't explain anything to anyone."
"But, look I can't just," I said starting to argue, but she looked at me and her eyes were so sad. "Oh, no, the dream." My heart quickened as I remember the Goddess speaking to Edward through the image of my grandmother. "To start my journey she said, she didn't say I was going to come back did she?" I turned from Alice to Edward and I couldn't stop the tears from falling.
I buried my head in Edwards's chest and let him comfort me the best he could. "Bella, I have a friend that I trust, he is going to hide you for a little while with his people. Honey, you need to say good bye to your parents." That's when I lost it. I know we are not a close family but they were always a phone call away if I needed them.
I brought my tears under control after a while. They were patient with me and I tried to think of details. My brain felt groggy though, so I didn't know how clear I was going to be. "Guys, are we going to fake my death or what? I can tell you now my dad will never stop looking for me if there is the slightest chance he thinks I'm alive."
Jasper said. "That will be no problem. Alice is going to make a changeling to take your place."
"Ok that stumped me, but you know there is a little more to it than a matching face. Anyway, I can't condone the murder of someone for me."
"It is not a person Bella, a changeling isn't a real being. In olden days when a Fae would take a child and he would replace it with a changeling, something that was so similar that it would not be questioned. The thing would die soon after the switch so the child's death would never be blamed on us. I promise it will match down to the dental records and DNA." After he said that I let it alone. There was just too much to think of.
"Bella," Alice asked, "Is there anything you want from the house? We can hide it for later. Just think on it and we will handle it for you. Ok?" She gave me a hug; Alice and Jasper were going back to court that night. They said their good byes at the door and we turned to look at the other two. Emmett still held Rose, but she was much calmer now. They said their goodnights also and made their way to bed.
Not long after that Edward and I went to bed. We made slow love and afterward he held me as more tears came.
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It was time for me to say good bye without actually saying good bye. I thought it out in my room for an hour. Edward said we had at least two days before we had to go, so I needed to call mom and dad. I needed closure for myself, to hear their voices one last time before I left this world for the others.
Alice had to create my doppelganger and we were waiting for Jake, the Slouagh prince to show up. I couldn't put it off any longer, I had to make the calls. This was going to be hard if not impossible. I thought of young women in the age when they were married off and sent away never to see their home again and thought that this was somewhat similar. I was leaving my home, my world for Edward and our child.
I picked up the phone and called dad first. It was around twelve thirty there so he would be back at the station so I called that number. After two rings he answered. I took a deep breath and prayed for strength. Please don't let me start crying. If I did dad would be on the next plane heading my way.
"Forks Police Department, Chief Swan speaking," he answered in his usual gruff voice.
"Daddy, hi."
"Bella, hey honey, how is Florida treating you?" I could hear him shuffling papers before the squeak of his chair alerted me to his reclining in it and then the thump of his feet hitting the desk. I have walked into dad's office many a day with him kicked back in that chair and on the phone with one of his fishing buddies. I wish I had a picture of that. I smiled at the memory.
"It's hot and humid Dad. You know the drill down here. Breathe water, dodge hurricanes. How is it going there?"
We talked for several minutes of the weather and our normal little lives. He hinted that he was getting serious with Sue his longtime girlfriend. I thought it was about time and told him so. When it was time to go I could feel my throat start to close and the tears begin.
"I miss you dad."
"Everything ok down there Bella?" he asks suspiciously.
"Yes daddy, I just miss being a kid at home some time. Life was so much simpler then you know." I pulled that one out of the hat and when his tone changed I knew I was in the clear. We said our good byes and as soon as I hung up the phone I collapsed into tears. I just told my dad good bye for the last time, in a week he will think I died in a house fire. The tears poured out of me till I felt as if my body had lost all of its moisture.
The bed dipped and small hands wrapped around me. "Shhh honey, it will be ok." Alice comforted me the best she could. I fell asleep in her arms and for once didn't dream.
I awoke the next morning with swollen dry eyes. I dreaded that this was the day to call my mom. I didn't know how I would make this call. I put it off for later and after my morning shower the kitchen beckoned to me. I needed food, preferably strawberry muffins with lots of butter.
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It was a fourteen hour difference between me and where mom and Phil are living. Unlike mom, I would always try to call at a decent hour. If I had my time straight it should be around ten p.m. there. I couldn't put it off any longer and picked up the phone, took a deep breath and dialed the number.
"Bella!" my mom excitedly greeted me. "Hi honey I was just getting ready to call you." She was breathless and I wondered what she had been doing. Well maybe I didn't want to know. She and Phil had been married for years and sometime I think the honeymoon was still going on. It was one of the reasons I moved to Forks to be with dad. There is nothing more traumatizing to a teenage girl than staring down your Lucky Charms in the morning because you really don't want to look your mom and step dad in the face because you heard everything they did the night before. We had a split bedroom floor plan and I still heard her. Can you say 'howler'?
"I was almost arrested tonight." I smiled and sat back against my head board. This was going to be a long call.
"I'm almost scared to ask, what happened?"
"I just got a phone call that Phil and I have been waiting for. I was so excited I ran outside without my clothes, I had just got out of the shower! I don't think the neighbors know what to think of the crazy Americans!" She is breathy and excited. It's just mom, crazy, happy mom.
"Ok are you sitting down?" she asked.
"Yes, why?" Uh oh, what has she done now?
"You're going to be a big sister!" she squealed. Oh my God. I shut my eyes and slapped my hands over my eyes. Mom is forty-two. "Pardon me but aren't you a little old for a new baby?"
"I'm not pregnant," I must have spoken my thoughts out loud. "We are adopting!"
We spoke for twenty more minutes, damn the cost, I was going to enjoy my last conversation with mom. It was funny, but unlike the call with my dad I never felt the urge to cry. We laughed a lot as I listened to her describe her acclimation to Japanese culture. She was just so irreverently alive. Mom would always be a free bird.
My new sister would be joining them in a few weeks as soon as the paperwork was finalized. From what she told me they had been discussing adoption for a while. They had seen a documentary on children in orphanages and since Phil had never had a child they, on the spur of the moment, hired a lawyer and started the paperwork. They hadn't shared this with me because, she said, I would drag them back to reality and they wanted this chance. The process had been lengthy and expensive, but they felt the need. The little girl was three and would be joining them from China. Mom promised to send me photos with her next email. I was excited for them and I was thankful also that she would have a little soul to bring her some comfort in the days to come.
We said our good byes and when I hung up the phone I sat there for a while longer just thinking out the pros and cons. I had a wonderful child hood. Two loving parents who raised me the best way they knew how. I had had an amazing grandmother that taught me so much.
Friends were never my strong point and honestly, the phone didn't ring off the hook with anyone looking for me. My parents would be heartbroken with the loss of me, but they would go on. Dad would have his girlfriend, and maybe they would take it to a more permanent level. Mom would have Phil and little three year old to keep her busy. I would be missed, and my memory cherished. Like gran, I would live on in their hearts.
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I sat in the kitchen alone sipping a cup of tea. The others were setting things up for my death. Who gets to orchestrate their own death? I'm just kind of numb thinking of it. I snorted at that.
"May I talk to you?" Rose's voice startled me. I turned my head to see her standing in the doorway. I guess she wasn't involved in the preparations.
"Yes, have a seat." I patted the stool beside me. She sat down and just stared at the wall for a moment. A minute or more ticked by without her saying a word or looking at me. I held my tongue waiting her out. When she finally spoke, it startled me and I almost overturned what was left of my tea.
"You didn't have to do that. He didn't know you were in the closet." She wouldn't even look at me. I looked at her astonished. I had to make myself close my gaping mouth. "I could have bought you time until the others showed up." All I could do was shake my head.
"What, I was supposed to just hide?" What kind of mental mind fuck is this? "Lady, you might have just sat back and listened to the show but that's not my way. I was raised by parents with a firm belief in right and wrong. What was happening out there was just wrong." These people are crazy.
"But, you had seen the strength of Victoria. You had to have known that you couldn't fight a Fae warrior if you struggled so with a female."
"It didn't matter, someone needed help and it was my duty to help. I guess you could say it's a human thing Rose." I shook my head. "Any way, honestly I didn't think I just got pissed." I scratched at my hand with the memory of sucking the life out of that bastard. I didn't say all of what I was thinking. I was pissed, yes. But I had wanted to kill the bastard and that wasn't the human me thinking, I think that was the half human inside me thinking. He was bad, so he was lunch? So what do you call that? Judge, jury, and dinner?
She looked at me then and studied my face for lies. I looked her in the eye and let her think what she wanted. "I owe you now human," she said with a grimace. I bet that doesn't sit very well with her. "So I want you to take a sip of me."
What. The. Fuck. My eyes must look like a dinner plate. Is she nuts? "What did you just say? No way in hell Rose. Didn't you look at the mess I left of the last two 'sips' I had?" I was shocked that she would ask this. This woman didn't like owing someone if she would pay up with her life force, much as less her beauty.
"I think you could call those two incidents a full feed. I just want you to grab my hand and try a quick pull."
"But!"
"No, Bella. Listen to me, the world you're leaving is innocent. It's all cute puppies and bunnies, and a cartoon fantasy of Tinker Bell with Peter Pan. The world you're going to the puppies are hell hounds, monstrous dogs with moon eyes. The bunnies have fangs and suckers, not soft fur, and you would never cuddle one of those. And let's not forget Tink, well she does very naughty things to Peter. Things in my world will blacken your lily white soul. You have had only a small taste of that world," she said, as she pointedly looked at my stomach. Her smile turned malicious, her tone was cold enough to give me goose bumps.
"We stood around and watched Edward fuck you. You humans, so shy, you fuck behind your closed and locked bed room doors. Shhhh, the kiddies might hear." Her smile was mocking, her tone bitter and cold as she said leaning closer to me to look in my eyes. "Well sweet heart, if the Queen wishes it your sweet legs will be spread for the court and if you don't spread them willingly they will be held open. Everyone will want a piece of that sweet innocence you cloak yourself in."
My heart was pounding. I felt dizzy. I felt angry. I felt hungry. I grabbed her by the hand and mentally pulled. Ahhhhh this was so good.
Her eyes were startled at first then her normal gold radiance started to fade.
"No!" Emmett's arms yanked Rose from my hand and pulled her behind him.
My anger was still there though. "Mine!" I growled, and my right hand curled around Emmett's hand. The pulling feeling wasn't there, but my hand felt cold for an instant and then hot.
"Holy Shit!" Emmett yelled. He jerked away from me and stood there alternately massaging and shaking his hand.
"Bella, stop!" I opened my eyes and Edward, Jasper, and Alice were in front of me. Edward pulled me from Emmett grasp and he staggered back into the counter.
I stood there for a second and the distraction was all it took to bring me back to myself.
My, "Oh hell, what did I do." And Rose's, "It's my fault, we were experimenting," came out at the same time. Our audience didn't know which one of us to look at.
"Dammit Rose, she could have sucked you dry!" Jasper said.
"She froze my damn hand!" Emmett griped.
All eyes turned my way and I looked at Rose. She smiled back. The bitch did it on purpose! "Ya Bitch!" I screeched at her. "I could have killed you! You are like a dumb blonde squared!"
"Yeah, but now we know you can use those 'borrowed' powers now don't we." She smirked.
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AN: DECEMBER FUNNY the only real funny thing happened while dodging the Christmas Tornados! I got outted to my mother in law by my husband! My husband has no clue as to what I write. He naively thinks I'm writing teen stories like Twilight. But he has heard me and Dix talking about the 50 Shades book and how we remember when it was one of my favorite fics. Well while MOL has an eyebrow raised at my little hobby she asked "Do you write like that 50 Shades person they keep talking about on the TV?" I dryly replied, "Similar, but I'm not that detailed with my subjects". She has no clue what 50 shades is. After listening to all that blah, blah, blah, blah. I wanted to just say so badly, "Why, yes I do, and your son's ass bruises like a peach when I spank it." That probably would have had her twitching on the floor. The in-laws will certainly freak when the movie comes out and reveals what my hobby is really like. I only wish I could write in 50 shades caliber. My sex scenes are comedy not smut.
JANUARY HEARTBREAK The fun of December was followed by a proverbial kick to the gut. My husbands' company has decided to close all their offices in Alabama. *Cold hearted bastards, middle finger salute!* We have a month or so to go before he and a lot more people will be on the street. I am terrified that with our economy how long it might be before he gets a new job. There goes our main source of income. Send us some prayers folks; we really are going to need them.
RAMBLINGS Dixiebell and Qui are leaving at the end of February for a girl's trip to London to stalk (and maybe capture) Benedict Cumberbatch, best known as the BBC's Sherlock. I want to go whhhhhhaaaaaaa. I really just would like to get the hell away from everything at the moment. Hiding under the bed is not working. If one more fucker calls me and ask when he's going to get paid I plan to tell him to take a deep breath and hold it! I could stalk Rob, sigh….*wiping away a tear* But on a higher note my passport is up to date so I can go bail them out of a British jail. (If they want to come home they have to pay my way over there LOL and if I could find sufficient dumpster food I can't guarantee I would come home!) Are there any Brits reading this? If so what's the procedure? My sister has quite a few outstanding traffic tickets over there also. I shit you not; we have had to glue parts back on every rental she has ever driven! I expect them to pounce on her every time she steps off the plane at Gatwick.
Oh, if anyone does banners I need one, desperately. I've tried to make one and it just ends up the worst kind of cluster fuck. Please someone help the artistically challenged author.
Rec's for the month:
Hoodfabulous - anything she writes is funny and fabulous! Her work kept me company under the bed while I was hiding from my troubles.
knicnort3 – Revolution. Freaking amazing read.
Please review, it makes me smile. I need smiles, rather badly.