Sorry I haven't updated for a bit, but New York's own playboy, billionaire, philanthropist (what even is a philanthropist, anyway?) will cheer you up! Now... Fun times!
Tony Stark was sick and tired of seeing holes in his walls or massive burned sections of floor or bloodstains on the windows. Maybe next time he'd just have an underground house built in a secret location so that it couldn't be destroyed again. Then again, he'd probably get bored of the inside fairly quickly anyway.
He sighed.
He allowed the little robots to remove his very damaged armour and stow it away.
He kept on walking, and more little robots plated him with the maroon and gold iron armour.
The Iron Man, mask abandoned on his table where he had taken it off, poured himself a tall glass of Scotch, the amber alcohol glittering in the sunlight that filtered through the grimy, gut-stained window.
"I don't care about the aliens falling from the sky, I need a drink." He said to the air.
He took a deep swig of it and burped.
A few Chitauri smashed through the window.
"That was my last window!" he muttered, and shot them down with his plasma blasters whilst taking another long drink from the crystal glass of Scotch.
•
Thor swung his hammer over his head, his eyes blazing blue fire, and released it with a soft grunt. It flew off and was flung through the chests of a whole legion of Chitauri. They fell to the ground as Mjöllnir smashed through their ribcages and spilled their guts on the bloody ground.
They milled about like insects, trampling their dead.
Thor, stony-faced, summoned a bolt of lightning to strike them down. Like a vein of white fire it electrocuted them in a rain of blood and flame.
•
Tony Stark finished his glass and chucked it at the Chitauri.
"I just want a freakin' drink. How hard is that?" He burped.
He put on his faceplate and watched as a single Chitauri scampered, its pace halting, toward him, its gun raised to fire.
"We will spare you if you come with us to our Master." It burbled.
"I'm not doin' crap." He raised an eyebrow and shot down the one that had come up to him and a couple behind him that had crashed through his window while he'd been drinking.
He fired a mini-grenade into his own ceiling. It drilled a small, precise hole through the ceiling on its flight upward. Stark walked over to the window.
"Especially not for Loki." his house exploded behind him as he jetted out his previously broken window over the Chitauris' head.
•
Natasha Romanoff stood, hidden from sight, in the corner of a dark alley. She rubbed a bruise on her foot. Thor took American phrases far too literally. 'Put me down right now', for instance...
She approached the box with silent curiosity. She stalked closer, and brushed the blue-stained wood of the Police Box with a gentle hand. From the 1950's.
She drew a bobby pin from her hair and fiddled with it in the lock. After a moment, there was a click, and she pulled the doors open.
She dropped the bobby pin.
•
"Natasha, where are you?" Clint said. "Natasha? Listen, Thor and I have been fighting, in secret, a resistance against the Chitauri, and Stark's disappeared. Cap's back in the ice. Where are you?" He hissed in a walkie-talkie. Only that same terrible static. He sighed and stuffed the talkie back into his quiver.
•
Stark flew over the ruined streets of Manhattan.
Thor was fighting a hoard of Chitauri, though he knew that they'd already lost. Stark sighed, and shot two plasma blasts at the heaving mass of aliens. Their attention temporarily drawn from Thor, he struck down many of them before they had the sense to fight back. The two Avengers closed in on the invading race.
•
Natasha stepped in and out of the little blue box, circling around and around until poking and prodding until she was sure of what her eyes were telling her.
She padded inside, her feet making no noise. The inside of the blue box heaved and groaned. She grasped a peculiar arch that twisted up from the floor as the box whirred and rocked.
Outside, she caught footsteps.
Doing her best not to fall on her face in the process, she crept over to the underneath of the impossible blue box. Hidden under the floor.