So my wrists is much better and I have been writing like a madman... er woman. Anyways! I am back to writing and quite happy about it. Like all my nonsense, this story is weird. But I like weird!

Enjoy!

2. Complicated

"ZELDA!"

I sprint through the castle halls. Not caring about my state of undress. I pushed open the princess's bedroom doors and stormed inside.

"How dare you!" Zelda held up a hand in my direction. She stacked up a few books and placed them at the corner of her desk. Then looked up at me. Innocently.

"Good morning, Sheik." Zelda picked up a teacup and sipped.

"Why the hell did you do this?! What gives you the goddess given right!" I was seething with rage until I heard a barely held in chuckle from across the room. I turned and saw Link sitting on Zelda's lounger. His hand was placed to his smirking mouth.

"You were in on this! Bloody hell! Screw both of you. No! In fact, go screw each other! You jerks!" I huffed and turned from them, facing the door. I was planning on leaving, but Link face planted the floor.

"Sheik, dear. Perhaps coming in here dressed like that was inappropriate." I looked down. Then realized what happened and why Link was being a complete idiot.

I ran through the halls, past many guards, wearing only undershorts and the unbuttoned, white button-down that I had worn last night. Then turned quickly enough, in front of Link, for my shirt to fly open. All while I had a female body.

"Mother of the great sky." I cursed and walked over to Hero. "You pervert!"

Hero sat up, a blush spreading over all his features. I could see that he was trying, and failing, to avert his eyes. Link got a viscous smack to his cheek.

"I-"

"Shut up!"

"We did not think you would be so upset." I spun on Zelda faster than a desert cobra.

"Why would I be upset about this?! It was just good fun! Hehe!" I chuckled manically and a bit insanely after my sarcasm. "Turning me into a woman is just today's joke. Well, bravo! You won!"

I could feel the pricks of tears, but I wouldn't cry. No. The first few fell. Not here.

Link stood and made to pull me into an embrace.

"No!" I gathered up my magic and warped. But without the deku nut to control the blast, I teleported out into the middle of Hyrule Field. I hunched over and sobbed. Big fat tears plopping onto the grass. I don't know how long I was there before a timid but steady voice spoke.

"Umm... Ya'll okay?" I groaned and rolled to the side. "Oh! Oh my!"

"Malon?" The farm girl stared at me wide-eyed for a few seconds. And then something looked to have clicked in her mind.

"Well I'll be. Those rascals really went through with it! Blasted morons, the both of them!" She leaned down and scooped me into her arms. "Now don't ya worry, Sheik. Malon'll take good care of ya til ya'll want to face those buggers."

I sighed. Happy to have Malon to care for me. She was a true friend through the past seven years and, even if she doesn't remember, seven years in the other timeline as well.

I snuggled into her as we made our way to the ranch.

"Was gonna warn ya, but they only done told me yesterday. Didn't have the time ta. Sorry." I slipped down from Malon's arms.

"It is quite alright." I walked up the hill into the ranch. Malon followed hurried to catch up.

"Might I interest ya in a bath." I rolled my shoulders and sighed.

"Thanks."

I sunk down lower in the steaming water. This was bliss. The door creaked and Malon poked her head in.

"Want me ta wash ya hair n' back?" I nodded. She made her way over to the tub and grabbed a rag. "Ya know, Sheik, ya have the best dang body I've ever seen on a girl. Ya should be proud."

She poured soap from a purple bottle on the rag and the scent of lavender filled the room. I shivered slightly when the cool soap touched my heated skin, but then relaxed as Malon worked all the grime away.

"I have noticed the change in my body. Though I don't know what is beautiful on a woman, I would suspect this is it." I grabbed the sweet smelling soap and cleaned my arms and worked at the lower area. But I refused to look. I just kept telling myself that this was not my body.

"Always wondered if ya fancied men. Guess that answers that." She snorted and I rolled my eyes. "Dunk."

I did as told and rinsed the soap from my hair. Then I got curious. "Malon?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Do you like woman?" She blushed a deep red and hurried from the room. I was sure I had hit the nail on the head. Malon walked back in with a white, fluffy towel. She sighed and the receding blush returned.

"If ya must know, yeah. I like the fairer sex." I chuckled and rose from the tub. "But I know ya don't. So don't worry 'bout me crushin' on ya."

She wrapped the towel around me and started for the door.

"Sheik?" I met her gaze. "You should tell Link."

My mouth dropped open.

I heard Malon giggling as she opened the door. "Dinner will be done soon. I picked an outfit for you. Just some pants and a flannel. Don't want ya to feel weird in a dress." And then she winked.

I did have a female body and Link enjoyed the peek. So he must be straight. But what if it was just the fact that it was me. I could tell him. Yet I hate him for even doing this to me. What if he did this to be with me? I had a chance, right? My resolve was set. I'd tell Link. Now I just needed a plan.

"I'll get it." I rushed over to the door. Whoever was there had knocked again as I made my way over. I opened the door and gasped. "Link?!"

I backed up and tried to close the door, but he stuck his boot in the way. No, no, no! Why was he here?!

"Sheik?" I turned and fled up the stairs, down the narrow hallway, and into the room Malon had given to me. I made quick work of the lock and went around the back of the bed. I sat down and curled up against the bed. Hoping that he wouldn't see me even if he somehow got in. My ears twitched as a quiet click was heard.

"Sheik?" I whimpered. I thought I was ready for this. Ready to tell him that I love him. But I was wrong. "Hey."

I jumped as Link's calloused hand came in contact with my shoulder. "Get away!" It came out harsh, that I knew. Link walked around the bed and crouched in front of me with a pained look.

"I've missed you. Please come home." I tried to scoot further back into the bed. He was too close. Way too close. I tried to ignore the silent 'come back to me' in his words. His breath was brushing against me. I tried to stop his scent from overtaking me. I tried. But then I was done trying.

My body jumped forward and I crushed my lips to his. It tingled to finally be touching the man I have loved for years. His arms circled around me and his thumbs brushed at my hips. My eyes had slid shut of their own accord. I moaned when his hands gently lifted my shirt and ventured inside. And then I gasped as they moved over a flat chest. I broke the kiss and looked down at myself.

"Surprise." I stared up dumbfounded at Link. "It was Zelda's idea."

"What?"

"She wanted you to confess. Or me to, I guess. Zelda was going to tell you how to fix your body, by kissing me, and wait until you did. But it was also motivation for me to want you back. As much as I enjoyed your female self, I much rather have my Sheik." He leaned down and kissed my neck.

"Isn't that rather complicated?" Link rolled his eyes.

"You know Zelda. When she learns a new spell, the girl uses it on us." He got this mischievous glint in his eye. "Which reminds me. How do you feel about a spell that turns someone's clothing into water."

"Depends on who you plan on using it on." I knew where this was going. But I also wondered who Zelda had used it on and why Link would know it.

"You." I stood up and made my way to the window.

"Catch me and try." And with that, I jumped. But not without hearing Link's reply and blushing all the while.

"Come on, Sheik! Let me make you wet!"

2. Enthusiasm

Link couldn't help the laugh that slipped out at Sheik's faked enthuiasm at having to ride a horse.

I have been hard at work on a request from way earlier. The homeless Link. I was awake one night, what else is new, and an amazing idea came to me for it! My first idea is still there. Sheik not liking Link at first, because I think it is funny and I get a lot of enjoyment from writing them bickering. But something else is slipping in. No spoilers for you.

I guess the only thing left to say is review and receive more. (I have another chapter of this written already.)

Love and cheesy cheese Christmas music,

~Annoying :)