Disclaimer: Don't own supernatural.

Warning: Contains M/M slash and MPREG as well as past MPREG. Don't like, don't read!

Chapter Eleven

Sam woke up to find that Cas was indeed gone and let out a slow sigh. He stayed there for a moment briefly wishing that Cas didn't have to have any duties to heaven before realizing how silly that was. Cas would always choose heaven above all else, he was an angel and took that part with pride and nothing Sam or anyone tried would change the stubborn angel. He himself found that he didn't want Cas to change either. He loved him just the way he was, imperfections and all.

He made himself get up, get showered, and dressed. Heading down the stairs, he paused long enough to hear giggling in the kitchen and knew that Emmanuel was in there. He wasn't surprised to find Gabriel there since he had been coming around a lot recently ever since Sam found out about him and his brother's relationship. He rolled his eyes as Emmanuel continued to giggle as Gabriel did airplane impressions and what not, any form to get him to laugh was done.

"Hey stranger," Gabriel greeted, handing the toddler his nicely cut up pancakes and a little bit of syrup on the side before turning to Sam.

"Hey, how goes it?" Sam really didn't care this morning.

"You were with Cas last night." There was a frown and Sam realized it was a statement, not a question. "I don't get you Winchesters. You're willing to get hurt over and over again just to be with the one you love without even thinking what it'll do to you in the long run. Cas is a great angel, I'll give him that but he is just that. He's an angel Sam and sooner or later you're going to realize all the things you have ever wanted from him ain't gonna happen. He's too bent on doing missions from heaven. Also and the most important fact is that one day you will die and Cas will still be here, alive and well. He may be performing his angelic duties even a millennia from now as well and you know what? Do you really want to know?"

"Doesn't mean you aren't going to tell me," Sam mumbled bitterly.

"Right. Well I can say he won't be with you then. He probably would forget one day how much he loved you. Once I find out his secret maybe-"

"You're an archangel though. You love Dean and you don't even bother to hide it so before you go on and on about my love, don't be a fucking hypocrite!" Gabriel frowned and Sam found that he was breathing harshly and that he might have gone overboard trying to defend the love he had for Cas.

"I know Sam and why do you think I'd tell you this? I was there. Been there done that right?" Sam looked at him in shock and Gabriel sighed. "I was a young archangel then but I fell in love with this woman named Rebecca. She came from a family of scribes and back then if you got pregnant without getting married, it would have been a shame upon the family. Got you stoned as well for having a baby out of wedlock. I planned on marrying her and forgetting the mission which is an unfortunate no no. Angels aren't ever meant to forget their true calling. We are angels first and foremost. Anyways one day it came to her or the baby and I chose her. She wanted to forget me. Told me that she couldn't handle the pain so I did the best I could do and gave her the one thing she truly wanted. I never stopped loving her though and even if I love again it won't be the same. That was my first love. You think you would be able to handle loving Cas? Well newsflash, if you really can't handle pain or anything else this relationship throws at you then I would tell him now and-"

"I already lost a baby," Sam quickly told him and Gabriel arched an eyebrow but didn't stop him. "I lost Sophie not once or twice but three times and even then I won't ever ever think about leaving him like that. I love him Gabriel and he could hurt me a hundred times over or betray me to a demon and I honestly don't think I'd still be able to stop. He's in cahoots with Crowley as he speaks. Still though I can't stop loving him! It won't ever be the same without him and I can't, I just can't think of ever not having him in my life."

"So it's that type of love huh?" Gabriel commented with a sigh. "I don't know what to tell ya Sam but in the end, he's an angel first and it would hurt a lot less if you don't allow yourself to love him completely-"

"But I already do," Sam said to Gabriel's complete shock. That hadn't been what he had expected to hear. "I love him so much I couldn't live without him and if he had to do his heavenly duty, I'm alright too because at the end of the day as long as I know he's with me, I could be happy."

Gabriel didn't know whether the shock was there because he had never witnessed a human so selflessly put his love on the table like that or because the one thing he had wanted from Rebecca could never happen but with Cas there wasn't any doubt that Sam would ever leave him if he had a choice in the matter. It was messed up and he knew though that it would be disastrous.

"I guess that you didn't realize that all an angel's gotta do is erase a memory or two and you won't even have the love there-"

"It would still be there Gabriel, don't be a douche," Sam snapped lowly, collapsing onto the chair. He pulled up to the table and got his coffee and some of the pancakes that Gabriel made. Stuffing some into his mouth, he had no qualms about hearing Gabriel go on and on about anything else having to do with the subject they had previously been on.

Dean entered the kitchen rubbing his eyes. Smiling as Emmanuel handed him a handful of mashed up pancake, he looked disgusted for a total of two seconds before handing it back and watching the kid squeal. Emmanuel drank some of his juice from the sipper cup and looked up with bright piercing blue eyes and Dean had to groan when he realized the kid was also sporting his good ole puppy eyes.

"Is papa," he told him calmly. He loved to babble and had since he first started talking. He was definitely close to both of his parents from what Dean observed even though Sam was hardly around when he was an infant thanks to the Satan thing. He saw Sam stab a fork through his pancake and sighed wondering what was eating at Sam. He knew it couldn't be easy to have someone who betrayed them so heartily and yet Dean knew that Sam couldn't really hate him. He should be angry with him as well but it didn't seem like he was.

He was distracted once again when Emmanuel threw a bunch of the bits of his pancake onto the floor, pushing the plate to join it soon. Dean groaned realizing that the kid was being an annoying brat and was glad that he wasn't his. He loved him and spoiled him like crazy but in the end it was Sam and Cas that always had to deal with him.

"Sam Emmanuel threw his plate on the floor." Emmanuel stuck his tongue out at Dean much to the older man's annoyance before throwing his sipper cup off as well. He couldn't really blame Sam for feeling overwhelmed now. Emmanuel had been displaying temper fits and tantrums every much like the terrible two's. Dean would be happy when that stage was over.

"Daddy, new juice." Sam picked up a new sipper cup and put some strawberry Kool-Aid into it. Dean winced but Sam didn't notice or he just didn't care. He handed the cup to him and Emmanuel babbled some more before smiling brightly. Dean never realized how perfect it would look to have Cas's smile mixed in with Sam's dimples in this kid but he knew he wouldn't object. It was in fact beautiful. He looked like the perfect mix of them both and he was happy for them. "Fank ou Daddy."

"You are welcome. Now please pick up the mess you made on the floor." Dean looked on in confusion but Emmanuel placed his tiny hands over his eyes like he was playing hide and seek and when he opened them again, the floor was spotless again. Dean found himself gaping before he heard Sam let out a laugh. "What did you honestly think Dean? My baby boy is an angel you know or at least half of one with the power of more. He's been getting a better hang of controlling it though-"

"Controlling it? Are we even talking about the same kid Sam because I quite remember him screaming loud enough and then muting me and Cas when we ignored him-but you don't remember that because you were someplace else, sorta." Dean quickly shut his trap realizing that he was being a jerk.

"Unca De," Emmanuel pouted his lips when Dean didn't hear him and in the next instant appeared back on his lap.

"He's learnt teleportation too," Dean observed.

"Oh you mean the thing where he pops in and out of a place?" Gabriel asked, kissing Dean on the cheek much to Sam's chagrin. "He knew it since he was seven months. Don't you think a kid this powerful should absolutely know how to do something that important? If not he wouldn't be able to be an angel or at least half of an angel."

Sam wrinkled his nose and pushed the pancakes away. He just wasn't that hungry and Cas was still out there doing who knew what. He considered maybe ending hunting after all this was over but knew that wasn't happening since every time he wanted to something came up and he just couldn't.

"On that subject maybe you should teach your baby brother about what happens when we trust angels that want to open the gate to purgatory-"

"When did you see him Sam?" Dean interrupted turning to Sam. Sam didn't look upset about the question but he did shoot Gabriel a glare before shrugging. "I mean it Sam, he's not going to be doing any of us good if he thinks he could trust Crowley. He's the same demon that tried to kidnap your son and you would know this but unfortunately you were in a place called Hell. You want to remember that? Your son could have died and Cas was helping him-"

"He'd never knowingly put Emmanuel in danger Dean!" Sam quickly objected. "And I can't just leave him Dean, I can't. Maybe if you were to 'take my memory' like Gabriel oh so lovingly put it but there is not a single thing that will keep me from eventually getting back to him. I'll love him for all eternity and you can't stop that-"

"I'm not trying to do this to get a screw you attitude Sam but he's going down a dangerous road," Dean snapped.

"You don't think I know that Dean? I'm not dad though and I'm not gonna hate him for something like that. I won't hold a grudge and I will forgive quickly because life is short-"

"That's right Sam life is short and you will hurt him when you die!" Dean continued glaring at Sam.

Sam gulped but nodded his head sullenly, lowering his head once he was finished. Bobby watched with a mixture of anger and somewhat regret. He knew they loved their respective angels but he could see both points.

"You do realize that I have information that Cas has found what he has needed for the opening of purgatory. He will get it if we don't stop him and I know you don't want to do anything Sam but you should think, would you want him to live doing everything he would regret later or would you rather save him from himself? You love him and I know you do but this is a big decision and you could only make one. One thing or the other."

Sam nodded but remained quiet.

What could he do when even the person who was close to him like a father was telling him he may have to decide whether he should fail Cas by standing idly by or kill him in order to save him in the end. He couldn't buy that because he knew Cas's heart. He wouldn't ever hurt anybody on purpose.

He felt his heart break a little bit deep inside and he knew if he didn't choose someone else was going to and Cas would rather have someone he loved doing what needed to be done than a stranger who couldn't tell him from any of the others.

In the end it all ended with him.

But he wasn't going to kill Cas and he wouldn't. Not yet. And if he did die, he knew he wouldn't be too far behind him.

"Cas would you like to explain what you are doing?"

Cas turned and silently reprimanded himself. He had what he needed and he wouldn't turn back but the Winchesters were making things hard once again. He knew thought that telling them what he was trying to do again would fall on deaf ears. Sam would just sit back and let Dean take over and Dean was upset greatly by the fact that he was doing things the way he didn't like. It was just too bad that he had to do it.

"I take it Emmanuel isn't here," he stated instead.

"No one's going to keep you from your son Cas, I keep my promises," Sam quickly spoke up and in the process making Dean glare.

"That's perfect but you are here to stop me, aren't you?" Cas sighed and held out the jar of blood he collected. Sam stared at it, his expression pained just by watching this all the while Dean grit his teeth in frustration.

"Cas this isn't you, this isn't. You have a son that you need to think about man and remember the thing about revenge? It doesn't leave you satisfied in the end. You will end up regretting everything and there will be nothing satisfying by what you're doing. You're helping a demon that was hell bent on using your son to open that gate instead of finding a safe way to end the war in heaven-"

"He has been warned and won't try it again. Besides, he didn't have many options to go by. You killed the mother of all after all." Once Cas finished saying that it got quiet.

Then Bobby had to hold Dean back from trying to take it out on the angel. He knew Dean was mad, hell they are were but there was no fucking way that Dean would win. He'd just hurt himself in the end. Cas seemed to see that as well through the defiant glare.

"You need to stand down Dean. Just stand down and once I'm done, it'll be over and you won't have to worry about me messing up anymore. I'll do whatever I have to and I'll make it right again. I just need to make sure Lucifer isn't set free and you know he will be if I don't stop this-"

"If you mention Raphael again, I'm gonna get pissed!" Dean spat and Cas sighed.

"Cas just stop," Sam pleaded, speaking up to Dean's surprise. "There's nothing worse than regret and I know it more than anyone else so please, don't do it. You do there's no turning back and you don't even know what you will be doing. Please Cas, don't-Just stop."

"Sam there's a time in your life where sometimes that the right one isn't always the best choice but you drive on because the end justifies the means. You need to trust me Sam, trust that I know what I'm doing and have faith that it won't all end in chaos. I know you want to and-"

"Cas take it from someone who previously believed in a demon, it's not the right one. Hell it's not even going to help. I hated myself Cas and I only moved on because I eventually realized that I shouldn't dwell on it anymore but damn it Cas it's not going to make you feel better. Listen to us and if not then listen to what you feel. Does it feel right to you? Does it?"

Cas seemed to be losing his patience.

"Sam I love you but-"

"NO! 'You love me but' doesn't work like that Cas. I love you and I will do whatever it takes to make you realize that it won't have to go this far. I love you more than anything-"

"That's the problem!"

After a pause in which Cas seemed to have regained a sense of control, he appeared next to Sam to Dean's and Bobby's shocked surprise.

"I promise you that when this is all over I will save Sam. You have my word." Sam looked over with widened eyes and everything went black after the angel's fingers touched his temple.

A/N: Please let me know how it is and REVIEW! :)