A/N: The next couple of chapters are dark. Very dark.
Alex had managed to avoid Olivia for most of the day, but after Mason had given her a message regarding delivery of a package, she'd had no choice. Mason had said Morgan was insistent on needing to see the governor ASAP. Alex felt uneasy, and wanted to see her lover sooner rather than later.
"This isn't wise Alex."
The blonde looked up from her desk blotter. "Just make it happen. Please."
Olivia sighed. "I'll do my best." She hesitated before continuing. "We still need to talk Alex."
From behind black frames, piercing blue eyes regarded the brunette.
"You have five minutes."
Olivia sat down. "What dead boy Alex?"
"There is an old saying in D.C.: The only thing worse than being caught with a live woman is a dead boy. Robert was stupid enough to be caught with one of each." She shrugged.
"There wasn't anything in the papers about that."
Alex simply looked at her. "No, there wasn't. Being the husband of the governor has its perks."
Olivia was incredulous. "You swept it under the rug?"
"Hardly. As my…husband, Robert had his own security detail." She considered how much to tell the brunette. "Mason was notified and he handled the details."
"The details? Alex, a boy died! You can't just make that disappear."
"I didn't make anything disappear Olivia. I didn't do anything at all. It was a drug overdose. He was a 16 year old runaway hustler with a Meth addiction. His family was found and notified, his body was flown home for burial and his crack whore mother who first traded him for a fix when he was 12 received a cash payment."
"I can't believe you! Just like that?"
Alex nodded. "Just like that." Drawing up her courage, Alex managed to meet Olivia's eyes. "Welcome to the world of politics Olivia. Now, would you please go bring my girlfriend to see me?"
Stunned, all Olivia could manage to do was nod and hurry out of the office.
Alex removed her glasses and call for Mason. She told him about her conversation with Olivia to give him a heads up.
"Alex." He used her first name to ensure he had her attention. "Painting yourself in a harsh light wasn't necessary. You made yourself look like a…bitch, when the truth is far from it."
"She doesn't need to know any more than necessary Mason."
He knew he'd been dismissed.
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Olivia brought Morgan to see Alex and after sneaking her upstairs to Alex's room, she'd gone in search of Mason. While on her way to pick up Morgan, she'd called Elliot and asked him to dig around in Robert's drug bust.
After Mason alerted her to Morgan's arrival, Alex made her way up to her room and found the younger woman waiting in her bedroom.
She made her way to her lover and kissed her, surprised when the brunette wouldn't let her take it deeper.
"Morgan, what is it? Has something happened?"
Morgan looked down at her hands and willed the words to come out of her mouth.
"There's a woman in my class, all three of them actually. She's a lesbian and we've gone out with some other classmates the last three days. Last night I went out to that lesbian bar on 6th and she was there." She managed to look at Alex. "I…I slept with her. I slept with her and it was good and we clicked and…" She shrugged.
Alex shook her head and then smiled at Morgan. She cupped the woman's face and kissed her.
"Alex? Didn't you just hear what I said?"
"You really do love me."
"What?"
"You're lying to me Morgan Keller. And you're lying because you love me and you have some sort of noble sense…" Alex considered what she'd just said and realized the woman before her really was a younger version of Olivia.
Morgan laughed nervously. "Why would I lie about this Alex?"
Alex cocked her head. "Why would you Morgan?"
Morgan stood up and walked away from Alex. "I've seen the way you look at her Alex. I know about the photo. All of them. I found them one day while I was waiting for you and the way you look at her." She shook her head. "The way she looks at you." She turned back toward Alex and shrugged.
"Morgan, that's…over. We can't go back."
Morgan laughed. "Alex, it's not done. There's electricity between you two and even if you never get back together with her, you're never going to look at me the way you look at her. Maybe you won't ever look at anybody else that way, but I deserve to have somebody look at me that way."
Alex nodded. "You do Morgan and I do love you in my own way."
"Just not the way I need you to Alex. I didn't mean to fall in love with you. It just happened."
Alex stood and went to her. She hugged the younger woman and then kissed her.
"You're a remarkable woman Morgan and some woman will be lucky to get you."
"I'll find a place to live as soon as possible."
Alex smiled. "You have a place to live Morgan."
"But…"
Alex shook her head. "No 'but's' Morgan. I see no need for our financial arrangement to cease. Minus the weekly booty call's of course."
Morgan shook her head. "I can't…that's not right."
Alex placed a finger on her lips. "I told you already Morgan that I've provided for you. It's the least I can do. You've been good for me whether you know it or not." She kissed her again. "Stay in touch, ok? A weekly call to Mason for the next month and then bi-weekly. Please, just do it for me."
Morgan started to leave and turned back. "How'd you know I was lying?"
Alex smiled. "Women like you don't cheat. Ever." She ruffled the brunette's hair. "And you don't boast about your conquests." Again she smiled at her. "Is there a woman in your class? Someone who's piqued your interest?"
Morgan looked shy. "Yes. She gave me her number but I haven't called her. I swear!"
"Call her. If you're interested. Be happy Morgan."
Morgan leaned over and kissed Alex one last time. "You too Alex."
XXXXXXXXXX
Alex had once again avoided Olivia and slipped upstairs to her room after leaving her office. She'd informed Mason of her conversation with Morgan and had asked him to relay the situation to Olivia.
She was saddened by the turn of events, but not heartbroken or devastated. She did care for the younger woman but after talking with her and having her 'Olivia epiphany,' she knew it was for the best. And if she could just be honest with herself, she knew that no matter what had happened with Olivia, the woman still had her heart. And she hated that.
She decided a nice long soak in the tub would do her wonders and filled the tub. She put her ear pods in and closed her eyes, letting the music take her away.
After meeting with Mason and finding out about Morgan, Olivia went to take a conference call with Elliot and Hammond and others from the Marshall 's. She was still trying to move them on her idea in an effort to bring things to a head and they still weren't budging. They had however agreed to run a probability outcome analysis on it, which was the first step to getting the idea approved.
After the call ended, Olivia had called Elliot back to see what he might have found out about Robert's bust.
"That case is sealed Liv."
"Sealed? Well that doesn't pass the smell test."
"Nope. I uh, called Munch. He consults now you know and has contacts all over. If it can be gotten to, he'll get it."
"Thanks El."
"No problem." He paused. "How's Alex?"
"Avoiding me. Speaking of which, I think it's time I pay her a visit. Things aren't adding up Elliot."
"Be careful Liv."
XXXXXXXXX
After her soak, Alex had slipped into a t-shirt and boxers. Sure no one would come looking for her at 7pm on a Friday night; she opened the door to her sanctuary and collapsed into a nearby chair. She let her tears fall, more a reaction to the events of the last 24 hours than to any pain she might be feeling.
She wrapped the small blanket around her and curled up, hoping she could get some sleep. As she closed her eyes, images of Robert and Olivia filtered through her mind and instead of growing sleepy, she started becoming more and more angry. And hurt.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Olivia had knocked on Alex's door while she was soaking in the tub, and not getting an answer, she went into her own room to change her clothes. She opted for a pair of lounge pants and a wife beater.
Still hearing no signs of life from Alex's room, she went back down to the master bedroom and slipped in. Another check of the bathroom showed that nobody had been there in quite sometime. As did the closet.
She spied the door from the night before and went over to it. Turning the handle, she found that it was unlocked and pushed the door open. The first thing she noticed was the décor and the second thing was the very pissed face of Alex Cabot.
"Alex?"
The blonde was furious and now standing.
"Get out of here!"
Olivia stood frozen, unable to move. She took in the room. The walls were a pale yellow with chair molding and there was a mural painted on one wall. The furniture was antique white.
Olivia looked at Alex. "I never knew you wanted a baby."
Alex was shaking her head. "I didn't. I don't."
Olivia threw her hands up. "This room sort of says otherwise Alex. It's been three years, yet this room is still a nursery." She shook the railing of the baby bed and looked around at the changing table, basinet and chest of drawers. She glanced at the mural. "You even have Humpty Dumpty painted on the wall."
"Get out Olivia. Please."
Realization settled in and Olivia reached for Alex, pulling the blonde to her.
"Oh baby, why didn't you tell me? I'd have understood."
Alex pulled back from Olivia. "Understood what?"
"That you were only sleeping with Robert to get a baby. We could have worked something out Alex." She was shaking her head. "And you went through all of that alone. Alex, baby…"
Alex jerked away from Olivia. "For the last fucking time, I did not cheat on you!"
Olivia considered this. "I can see how you wouldn't view it as cheating." Her eyes brightened. " Turkey baster?"
Alex pulled completely away from her and turned her back. "You're not listening to me! I did not cheat on you, I did not want a baby and there was no turkey baster!"
Olivia felt the blood drain from her face. She felt dizzy and she tried to take a deep breath.
"He…he raped you?"
Alex started shaking and closed her eyes. "Only the first time."
"The first time? What the hell are you talking about?"