~Chapter 10: I dance with a killer robot~
I had one of those weird dreams. There was that kid that looked like me… and me. We were hanging out in my real mom's garden.
The kid, with their, like, quiet voice said, "Remember that holiday I talked about? That one to Mount Ebott." Pause. "It was a short holiday…" Pause. "I didn't do much. Just… checked out the mountain." Pause. "That monster myth? Yeah, the monsters are real." Pause. "They are real! I'm their… I mean, I think I saw one! Anyway… I got something to show you." They showed me their soul. It was red, like mine. "Know what this is?" Pause. "No, it's not my heart. It's my SOUL, the very culmination of my being." Pause. "Culmination means the highest point. It's all my energy and life force. You've got one too." Pause. "You'll get to see yours soon. Now… do you know what determination is?"
Pause. The kid said, "Thought so. It's this cool stuff that lets me do awesome things like… control time and come back to life! Also, I never give up!" Pause. "All humans have determination… but some have more than others. Like, you've gotta have lots of determination to do the time-controlling. More than anyone! So… I'm kind of the only one with this power." Pause. "Yeah, you have a power. That's why I'm talking about it. Your power's… different from others. But… it's gonna help me a lot." Pause. "No, not the time-controlling or coming back to life. But… your power is pretty cool. And you're gonna use it right now."
The kid smiled. "No one else has this power." They frowned. "But… when I show you it, your life's gonna change. Nothing will be the same." Pause. "You'll see what happens." The kid held out their soul, getting near me. "Now's your last chance to be... just you. If you want, go speak to your mom and dad. Play with your dog." Pause. Dream me looked away. "You don't want to do it? Please… you've gotta. Do it for your best friend." Pause. The kid smiled. "Thanks. You're the best friend ever." They looked away. "And... I'm sorry if this hurts." It went all fuzzy, but I think I saw this big flash of red. And then I woke up.
What was that all 'bout? I thought. Holy, I have some fluffing nuts dreams. I looked around. I was in this big bed at the MTT Resort. Hey! I thought. I'm going to the Core today! I frowned. Cheese balls…? I'm super… excited…? Uh… I'm… finally going... home? I posted, awake now just getting jazz then leaving MTT Resort. I found this burger-emporium thing owned by this dude named Burgerpants. He was a little ehh. Or a lot ehh. And the burger joint wasn't cheap and had no ice-cream. Bacon balls.
But Burgerpants was cool beans. He gave me some life tips. Thanks, dude. I went outside and found these two gals in this scary alleyway thing. Their names were Bratty and Catty, and they sold trash. Like, real trash.
"It's GOOD garbage." Bratty said. She was like a crocodile… I think.
"Like, really good garbage." Catty said. She was like a cat.
"Don't worry peeps," I said. "Garbage is my jazz." I've lived with garbage. I am garbage. I sussed out what they had. They had some pretty human-looking stuff, but I didn't need that jazz. I was super strong. But I did buy some junk food, just 'cause I wanted some. Then I left. I left quickly 'cause... those two girls... they made me think of some human fams... or a human sister. I didn't want that to pull me back.
I left the resort. I posted, leaving the resort now. Going to Core. I got to the joint where the Core started. There was this bridge that went into this big machine-looking door. Two scary dudes were there. They went in.
Alphys rung. "Huh?" she asked. "Who are they? N-nobody else is s-supposed to be here… Oh well! We can't worry about that now!" She hung up. I shrugged and went onto my phone. I hadn't called Undyne and Papyrus for a bit, so I decided to hook 'em up.
"'Sup guys!" I said. "I'm going to the Core and jazz now."
"HEADING INTO THE CORE…?" Papyrus asked. "HMM…"
"The Core is a huge maze of electric towers," Undyne said. "So I don't think your phone will work through it…"
"Bacon balls, really?" I asked. Maybe that's not so bacon balls.
"OH NO!" Papyrus cried. "WHAT WILL YOU DO WITHOUT US?"
"You have something you have to do, right…?" Undyne asked.
"Yeah, pretty sure." I said. I don't know.
"Well…" Undyne said. "Even without words, we'll be with you in spirit, okay?!"
"YEAH!" Papyrus said. "YOU CAN'T GET RID OF US!"
"Aw, you guys are cheese balls." I said. I don't deserve pals like you.
"We're counting on you, so don't mess it up!" Undyne said. They hung up. I'll try, I thought. The UnderNet wasn't being cheese balls either. I posted, dudes this may be my last post for a long time. going to the Core wifi's bacon balls. but don't freak! Ill be cool beans. keep being cheese balls, peeps! I posted a selfie, then went into the Core. It was blue and all electronic. There was a lift and some paths.
"Ready?" Alphys asked, calling me. I dunno how she could call me. "This is it! Take the elevator up to the top of the Core!"
"Alrighty dite." I said. Holy, here we go. I went up to the elevator. It wasn't working.
"What?" Alphys asked. "The elevator should be working! Um… t-try going to the left!"
"Cool beans." I said. Holy crap, this'd better do its jazz. I went to the left. I got to this big, blue electric path. Then those two shadowy dudes showed up.
"W-watch out!" Alphys cried. I got into battle with the dudes- well, dude. It was this monster named Madjick. It threw some crosses and balls at me. I looked at its eye thingies. Then I played the mercy game and got 60 bucks. "Th-that was close…" Alphys said. "Wh… why are there so many monsters here?"
"Did they read my UnderNet thing and see I was coming here?" I asked. Well holy crap.
Alphys sighed. "W-well… it's n-no problem… right? You're… super strong… right?"
"Oh, yeah," I said. "I'll be cool beans. Thanks, Alphys." I hung up. I came to this bridge, blocked by all these electric gate thingies.
"Looks like you can't proceed until you hit the switch," Alphys said, on the phone again. "B-but, those lasers will activate when you do." She was talking 'bout some lasers and a switch nearby. "Um… looks like they'll come in this order: Orange. Orange. Blue. G-got it? Move until the third one!"
"Cool beans." I said. I hit the switch and walked a bit. I got hit by the lasers, which weren't the colours Alphys said. Ouchies.
"Oh my god…" Alphys asked. "Are you hurt? I… I'm so sorry. I… I gave you the wrong order."
"Nah, it's cool beans," I said. "I'm super strong, remember?"
"L-let's just keep heading to the right!" Alphys said. I walked a bit and came to all these paths. "A crossroads…" Alphys said. "Uhh… uh… tr… try heading to the right!" I went to the right. Alphys said, "Wait! Uh… n-no, I think you should go up!"
"Alrighty dite." I said. I went up. There was a monster there. Holy crap, I thought. It was this dude named Knight Knight. I sung a lullaby. Knight Knight threw her attacks at me. I ran all over the joint, tryna dodge them. I kept singing. Knight Knight fell asleep, so I played the mercy game. Alphys rung after that.
"Sorry, I… I…" she said, like ehh. "I thought that…"
"Dude, it's cool beans." I said.
"Let's try the right path instead!" Alphys said. Didn't ya say not to go there? I thought. Whatever. I went to the right. I came to all these lasers. "M… more lasers…" Alphys said. "Okay, I… I won't mess around this time. I'll just deactivate the lasers and let you through!"
"Alrighty dite," I said. The lasers weren't going off. "Uh…"
"They're… not turning off!" Alphys said, freaking out. "I can't turn them off, I… i-i-it's okay! I have this under control! I'm going to turn off the p-power for the whole node! Then you can walk across." I walked a bit. I was 'bout halfway when Alphys rang. "W-WAIT! STOP!" The lasers went back on. They were blue. "Th-the power… it's turning itself back on." She sounded more ehh. "D-damn it… th-this isn't supposed to… I… I'm gonna turn it off again. When it turns off, move a little, then stop. Okay? Y-you won't get h-h-hurt."
"Cool beans," I said. "Dude, don't worry 'bout me getting hurt. I've got this all under my belt." I have no belt. I haven't got this.
"Just… be careful." Alphys said. She hung up. The power went off. I walked a bit. It went back on. Rinse and repeat. "S-see?" Alphys asked, when I was cool beans. "I've got everything under control. Everything's under control!" She hung up. I was feeling a little ehh. I kinda wished I could call my pals. Alphys was cheese balls, but y'know… No, I thought. I don't need them! I've got this! I can do it! But even saying that jazz didn't make me feel anymore cheese balls.
I got to another crossroads… yeah, they're called that. Alphys didn't know what to do, so she was like, I'm out. I felt really bacon balls. What'd I do wrong? I thought. Oh well… I went up this path and did my determination. There was some more electronic jazz. I ran into Astigmatism. It was kinda like Loox, but this time I picked on it. After that, I sussed out the Core. I found 100G and some signs. I kept going. I came to this bridge. Whimsalot and Final Froggit showed up.
I prayed for Whimsalot and did something awesome-sauce for Final Froggit. I went across the bridge and ran into Knight Knight and Madjick. Lullabies, looking into peeps' eyes, mercy game. Walking. Then the nightmare trio showed up! Astigmatism, Final Froggit and Whimsalot. It was getting kinda tiring fighting all those monsters. But I fought 'em anyway. At the end of the bridge, there was a switch. I pressed it, 'cause that's whatcha do.
"Holy." I said. I did some more sussing out. Blah blah, puzzles and battles. I found the door to the elevator to the King's Castle... And the elevator to the start of the Core. So fluffing close, I thought. Holy crappy cheese balls. I did my determination there. I went into the door. It was a cheese balls door. I walked a bit. And guess who I ran into?
"Oh yes," Mettaton said. "There you are, darling." Oh holy, I thought. "It's time to have our little showdown."
"Mettaton, Alphys and I said go home!" I said. I smiled. "So… uh… please do that?"
"The show hasn't even started!" Mettaton said. "This 'malfunctioning' robot hasn't been stopped yet!" He paused. "'Malfunctioning'? 'Reprogramming'? 'Go home'? Get real. This was all just a big show."
"Whaddya mean?" I asked. I've got a bacon balls feeling 'bout this.
"An act," Mettaton said. "Alphys has been playing you for a fool the whole time."
"What?!" I asked. Told you. She hates you. They all do. Which is why you should follow my plan.
"As she watched you on the screen, she grew attached to your adventure," Mettaton said. "She desperately wanted to be apart of it. So she decided to insert herself into your story. She deactivated puzzles. She disabled elevators. She enlisted me to torment you. All so she could save you from dangers that didn't exist."
"What…" I said. I felt weird. "So… it was just… an act?" I didn't know what to say. "Alphys… why…?" I wasn't angry. I was just, like, the crap, dude?!
"All so you would think…" Mettaton said. "She's the great person… that she's not." I frowned. Dude… I… "And now, it's time for her finest hour. At this very moment, Alphys is waiting outside this room. During our 'battle', she will interrupt. She will pretend to 'deactivate' me, 'saving' you one final time. Finally. She'll be the heroine of your adventure."
"So… she's doing this for her self-love, huh?" I asked. I got that. I did crazy things for… uh… my facade.
"You'll regard her so highly," Mettaton went on. "She'll even be able to convince you not to leave. Or not." I had a feeling fluff was gonna go down. "You see, I've had enough of this predictable charade. I have no desire to harm humans. Far from it, actually. My only desire is to entertain. After all, the audience deserves a good show, don't they? And what's a good show… without a plot twist?" The door locked behind me. Bacon balls.
"H-hey!" Alphys cried, behind that door. "Wh-wh-what's going on?! Th-th-the door just locked itself!" Some red lights went on. It looked pretty cheese balls.
"Sorry, folks!" Mettaton cried. "The old program's been cancelled! But we've got a finale that will drive you wild!" The thing we were hanging out on started going up.
"The crap?!" I asked, falling over on live TV. Cheese balls me.
"Real drama!" Mettaton shouted. "Real action! Real bloodshed! On our new show… Attack Of The Killer Robot!" We got into a fight… for real, I guess. My soul went yellow and upside-down again.
"We all live in a yellow submarine." I sung. "That's a nuts song." I played the mercy game. Mettaton wasn't flowing with my river yet. I asked him 'bout the Core and jazz... I dunno why.
"Yes, I was the one that rearranged the Core," Mettaton said. "I was the one that asked everyone to kill you. That, however, was a short-sided plan. You know what would be a hundred times better?" I shrugged. "Killing you myself!"
"Bacon balls!" I said. But no attacks hit me. "Uh…?"
"Listen, darling," Mettaton said. "I've seen you fight. You're weak."
"Weak?!" I asked. "I've got, like, 99 EXP and HP! How is that weak?! No… uh… offence, I guess."
"I didn't mean you were weak like that," Mettaton said. "You refuse to fight anyone, even with your high EXP. You won't stand a chance against Asgore! He'll kill you, and with your soul, he will destroy humanity." No one can stand against you. Just get past. That voice was getting louder and more scary. I ignored it and dodged all Mettaton's attacks.
"I've got this far, dude," I said. "Even Asgore won't pull me down."
"You don't know about that!" Mettaton said. "If I get your soul, I can stop Asgore's plan! I can save humanity from destruction." He threw all these bricks at me. I ran outta the way.
"Cheese balls plan, but…" I said. What if the humans can't be destroyed and jazz? Mettaton chucked some more bricks and stuff at me.
"That's right!" Mettaton cried. "With your soul, I'll cross through the barrier and become the star I've always dreamed of being. Hundreds, thousands… No, millions of humans will watch me!"
"Mettaton, dude, you've got the monsters!" I said, dodging his attacks. What'll the humans do? What they always do. I sighed and shot some yellow things at some bricks, getting past. Some hit Mettaton.
"Glizt, glam, I'll finally have it all," Mettaton said. "So what if a few people have to die? That's show business, baby!" Then my phone rung. It was Alphys.
"U… Uh… I can't see what's going in there, but…" she said. "D-d-don't give up, okay?! Th… there's o-one l-l-last way to beat Mettaton… it's… um… it's… this is a work in progress, so don't judge it too hard…"
"Go on." I said.
"But, you know how Mettaton always faces f-f-forward?" Alphys asked. "That's because there's a switch on his backside. S-s-so if y-y-you c-c-can turn him around… and um… press th-th-th-the switch… he'll be um… he'll be… vulnerable. Well, g-gotta go!"
"Cheese balls," I said. I looked at Mettaton. "Hey, Mettaton! There's a mirror behind you!"
"Oh!" Mettaton cried. "Right! I have to look perfect for our grand finale!" He turned around. "Hmm…? I don't see it-" He didn't say anymore jazz 'cause I pressed his switch thing. "Did you… did you just flip… my switch?" He went nuts, and there was this big light.
"Uh…" I said. "Mettaton? You cool beans?" Then this stage and lights showed up. There was a human-ish dude hanging out in this smoke. I couldn't really see him.
"Ohhh my," the dude said. It was Mettaton. "If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing. You're desperate for the premiere of my new body. How rude… lucky for you, I've been aching to show this off for a long time. So… as thanks, I'll give you a handsome reward. I'll make your last living moments…" The lights went away. Mettaton EX (he was called that) was hanging there, looking all cheese balls and fab with his new body. "Absolutely beautiful!" There were these 'ratings' on the side. I looked around. Cameras and jazz. I felt… awesome-sauce. I smiled.
"Alrighty dite," I said, smiling like nuts. "Cheese balls stuff here, Mettaton EX. 'Bout time we had a REAL show." Remember back forevsies ago I talked 'bout 'serious dancing'? Well, this is the dancing! I posed. Mettaton posed too. The crowd thought that was cheese balls. The ratings went up!
"Drama! Romance! Bloodshed!" Mettaton yelled. He tried to kick me. I danced outta the way.
"Cheese balls stuff!" I yelled back. I did another pose. The crowd was going nuts. "Top that!"
"I'm the idol everyone craves!" Mettaton said. He threw some lil' Mettatons at me. I jumped outta their way.
"Cheese balls up to the roof," I said. "But you can't pull me down! My determination's right out there!" Why're you saying this crap? A thought asked. Not true! I ignored that thought and shot my yellow things at Mettaton's attacks.
"Ooh, it's time for a pop quiz!" Mettaton said. "I hope you brought your keyboard. This one's an essay question! Why do you love Mettaton?"
"Uh…" I said. I typed, he's got cheese balls legs lol.
"My legs! Yes! That's correct!" Mettaton cried. The ratings went up. I looked at the crowd. I booed at them. They wanted me to die. Cheese balls. "Your essay answer really showed everyone your heart," Mettaton said. My heart isn't your legs! "Why don't I show you mine?" He pulled out this white heart. It made all this jazz show up. That jazz was ouchies. I was on 40 HP. I took a break and ate the junk food. I jumped up to 67 HP. The crowd thought that was cheese balls for some reason.
"Let's heat this jazz up!" I yelled. I did a pose and looked at the camera. "'Sup Underground? Shout out to all my pals watching at home!" The crowd looked cool beans with that.
"But how are you on the dance floor?" Mettaton asked. This disco ball showed up. I jumped outta the way of these lasers, shooting the disco ball. I looked awesome-sauce. I gotta say it. I don't say that jazz much.
"How's that?!" I yelled at the crowd. "Do you want more?!" There was alotta noise. "Oh…" I said, looking down. I looked up. "WELL THAT'S CHEESE BALLS BECAUSE I DO TOO!"
"That's fabulous, darling!" Mettaton cried. "Let's have some more... heart-to-heart!" His heart was back. I shot at it, jumping all over the place. The crowd was going nuts. Mettaton's arms fell off.
"HOOOOOOOLLLYYYY!" I yelled. "Mettaton… you cool beans?" What'd I do?!
"A… arms…" Mettaton said, tryna be cheese balls. "Wh… who needs arms… with legs like these? I'm still in to win!" He threw some bombs at me, then pulled 'em back up. I got a few ouchies.
"I won't die!" I yelled. "This is for you, my pals!" Nah. This is for my facade. My lies. I ate my Nice Cream. The crowd was all like, whoa! "That's spot on the mark, dudes!"
"The show… must go on!" Mettaton cried, chucking bombs and jazz at me. I dodged those. I dodged alotta those. Mettaton looked at me. "Enough of this! Do you really want humanity to perish? ...or do you just believe in yourself that much?"
"Humanity'll live on!" I yelled. Believe in myself? Ha ha… I almost laughed. Mettaton hit me some more. I was down to 35 HP.
"Haha, how inspiring," Mettaton said. "Well, darling, it's either me or you! But I think I already know who's going to win… Witness the true power of humanity's star!" He got out his heart again. It shot out all this jazz.
"Sounds cheese balls, but nah," I said. "Let's do this crap!" I shot yellow thingies at Mettaton's heart. He tried to kick me. I got a few ouchies. But I was cheese balls! I shot Mettaton some more. His legs fell off. "Holy crap… bacon balls... I…" I played the mercy game.
"...then… are YOU the star?" Mettaton asked. He was just his… upper body (with no arms), I think it's called. "Can you really protect humanity?"
"They're my peeps," I said. "'Course I can!" No I can't. I can't do anything. Humans will get what they deserve. Mettaton's heart shot stuff at me. I ran all over the place. "Mettaton, chill!" I yelled. He used his disco ball attack on me. I was now on 20 HP. It was kinda low. I ate a Cinnamon Bunny and posed at the crowd. The ratings were… OVER 9000! Sorry. They went up some more. When they were, like, 10000, Mettaton stopped hitting me.
"Ooh, look at these ratings!" Mettaton cried. "This is the most viewers I've ever had! We've reached the viewer call-in milestone! One lucky viewer will have the chance to talk to me… Before I leave the Underground forever! Let's see who calls in first!" Someone rung. "Hi, you're on TV! What do you have to say on this, our last show?"
"Oh…." the dude on the phone said. I felt like I'd heard 'em before. "Hi….. Mettaton… I really liked watching your show… My life is pretty boring… but… seeing you on the screen… brought excitement to my life… vicariously. I can't tell, but… I guess this is the last episode...? I'll miss you… Mettaton… oh…. I didn't mean to talk so long… oh…"
"No, wait!" Mettaton cried. "Wait! Bl… h… they already hung up." He looked kinda soppy. I felt soppy too. Hey, I thought. Was that- "I'll take another caller!"
"Mettaton, your show made us so happy!" someone on the phone said.
"Mettaton, I don't know what I'll watch without you!" some other dude said.
"Mettaton, there's a Mettaton-shaped hole in my Mettaton-shaped heart." another dude said.
"Mettaton, dude," I said. "The peeps down here… they love you. You can't go." You gotta stay.
"Ah… I…" Mettaton said, looking down. "I see…. Everyone… thank you so much." He looked at me. "Darling. Perhaps… it might be better if I stay down here for a while. Humans already have stars and idols, but monsters… they only have me. If I left… the underground would lose its spark. I'd leave an aching void that can never be filled. So… I think I'll have to delay my big debut."
"Cheese balls," I said. "That's the way to flow." Do it better than me.
"Besides," Mettaton went on. "You are… very strong, whether you attack or not. Maybe... you will be strong enough to get past Asgore after all. I'm sure you'll be able to protect humanity."
"Thanks, dude," I said. What can I do? "You cool beans? You look kinda…"
"The truth is," Mettaton said, looking down. "This form's energy consumption is… inefficient. In a few moments, I'll run out of battery power, and… well. I'll be alright." He smiled. "Knock 'em dead, darling. And everyone, thank you… you've been a great audience!" I bowed at the crowd. The fight was done. Mettaton was off. I frowned.
"Oh Mettaton…" I said soppily, looking away. "It was… cheese balls to… to... do that with you." I sat near his head. Alphys came in.
"I… I managed to open the lock!" she said. "Are you two…" She saw Mettaton and ran up to him. "Oh my god. Mettaton! Mettaton, are you…"
"He's off," I said. "The batteries, I think."
"And thank GOD it's just the batteries," Alphys said, looking all phew. "Mettaton, if you were gone, I would have… I would have… I m-mean, h-hey, it's n-no problem, you know? He's just a robot, if you messed it up, I c-could always… j-just build another."
"He's gonna be cool beans, right?" I asked, getting up. "I… I mean, 'course he'll be cool beans! You can fix him!"
"Y-yeah…" Alphys said. She looked at the path. "Why don't you go on ahead?"
"Alrighty dite," I said. I walked a bit. Just a lil' more, I thought. So fluffing close. I was in this joint that looked like the Core. Just up there! Finally.
"S… Sorry about that," Alphys said, behind me. "L-let's k-keep going!" We walked a bit. I didn't really know what to talk 'bout, so I just walked. My hair was still hanging out in front of my face. That show was pretty awesome-sauce, I thought. I didn't know my acting skills were that cheese balls. "S-so you're about to meet Asgore, h-huh?" Alphys asked. "You must be… y-you must be… pr… pretty excited about all that, huh?"
"Holy crap yeah!" I said. No. No more fighting crap. But it will finally be time. For what? But they were gone. Bacon balls. We walked a bit.
"You'll f-f-finally… you'll finally get to go home!" Alphys said. She looked a bit ehh.
"Yeah," I said. "Home!" I don't have a home. The humans don't give a fluff 'bout me. Nobody will be soppy if I'm gone. I frowned. But… the Surface. There's… some cheese balls jazz there. Like… like that ice-cream store and that kid there! I mean… it's the Surface. I gotta go back...
"Here's the elevator," I said, looking at the elevator. I looked at Alphys. "Well… uh, see ya, I guess."
"W… Wait!" Alphys cried. She smiled. "I… I mean… I was just going to say goodbye, and…" She frowned and looked away. "I can't take this anymore." She looked soppy. "I… I lied to you. A human SOUL isn't strong enough to cross the barrier alone."
"What?" I asked. Oh holy.
"It takes at least a human soul… and a monster soul," Alphys said. She looked at me. "If you want to go home… you'll have to take his soul."
"Who's soul?" I asked. Holy bacon balls!
"You'll have to kill Asgore," Alphys said. She looked away. "I'm sorry." She left.
"What." I said. "What. The. Bacon. Balls." I've gotta kill Asgore? But… I don't wanna hurt peeps! I was too weak. And I don't mean the 99 EXP thing. I mean… feeling weak. Self-love weak. The weak that Mettaton was chatting about. I sighed. I don't wanna kill anyone, but… if I don't… kill Asgore… I'll never go home. I looked away. But I've got nothing on the Surface… it's not… really, like, gonna… help anything going there, is it?
He won't take your SOUL, the creepy voice said. I WILL.
"Who are you?!" I asked. Why ask? Shouldn't you know? "Uh… no." They were gone. "Whatever." I looked at the elevator. "Sorry, Undyne. Looks like I may be hurting Asgore." I went in.