Emo Farm
Disclaimer: do not own Naruto, Friends, Murtagh…etc, etc.
The Epilogue…a happily ever after, because I like happy endings.
This would be the chapter where you bear in mind that they're all Japanese…and probably speak Japanese…and most likely think in Japanese…un.
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They'd packed up Emo Farm and sold it, lock, stock and barrel. The tenants were allowed to keep their lands, and continue to send their rents to Konoha's newest residents, Hiroku and Hirari.
"Its like the end of an era," Murtagh sighed as they all boarded the extra large horse carriage.
"I'll say," Gaara grumbled, "That was probably the last vacation of my life!"
Itachi and Orochimaru said their goodbyes and left to their own devices. (Somewhere far away, Kabuto and Kimimaro got the creeps and began to hastily clean up the lair after last night's party). Both of them promised to show up within the Hidden Leaf before the month was out.
"It's a good thing I quit the ANBU so long ago," Kakashi commented, "Or I'd have to report that two S-class criminals have been sneaking in and will continue to do so in order to teach their offspring and apprentice."
At which everyone looked at Sai, who shrugged. "I know nothing of this," he said simply, and that was that.
Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and the ANBU Root member sat together, doing whatever it is teenagers do when gathered at one place. Kakashi chose to ride on top of the carriage rather than in it, much to the chagrin of the driver.
Murtagh found himself between Hiroku and Hirari. "You realize," he asked the woman on his left, "That out of all the original occupants of Emo Farm, I'm the only one left?"
Hiroku smiled wanly. "I realize."
He turned to Hirari. "You know, I'll never know why you guys named the place Emo Farm. I don't think there was a whole lot of emo activity going on, in fact, it was a downright cheerful, sunny place."
Hirari chuckled. "Should we tell him, Hiroku?"
She grinned. "Oh yes, let's."
"Alright. The truth is, Murtagh, 'emo' is an English word, isn't it? And Hiroku and I…well, we're not so good with foreign languages. So when we first came across the word…we didn't quite understand what it meant."
Murtagh's eyes widened. "You mean…"
Hiroku laughed. "Yep. When we named Emo Farm, we had no idea what it meant. We weren't even sure what 'farm' meant! Id was only when you lot started showing up that we thought to look up the word…and were we surprised at the definition! But we liked you, so we decided not to burst your bubble, and stuck to the name."
"So," Murtagh said in the hushed tones of one uncovering scandal, "Emo Farm…when the pamphlets said it was the emo-est place on the planet…it wasn't a cute catchphrase…it was an actual grammatical error?"
"Pretty much," Hirari admitted, "We didn't know what the word meant, so we didn't know if it was a verb or adjective or preposition. It could've been a pronoun for all we knew…like, 'emo was walking down the street' or 'emo was playing ball'."
"Well that sure bursts my bubble," Murtagh grumbled.
Hiroku patted his back. "Look at the bright side. Aikawa has a happy ending, Orochimaru is now a teacher, you're annoying," (hey!) "Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru don't hate each other, Harry's not suicidal anymore…Emo Farm did some good work."
"You're missing Sai, Gaara and the Uchiha brothers," Murtagh supplied.
"Gaara and Sai were guests, and were never quite emo to begin with," Hirari reminded him, "You said it yourself that Gaara's an ex-emo."
"The Uchiha brothers?"
"I think Sasuke's still pretty emo," Hiroku frowned, "But I really wouldn't have him any other way."
"Besides," Hirari nodded towards the blond boy sitting next to the budding sharingan genius, "He's got Naruto to even it out. He's like an anti-Sasuke."
"And Itachi?" Murtagh queried.
"He's not an anti-Sasuke…oh you mean. Ok, well he's a lost cause, screw him."
"Itachi's not emo, he's gay."
"Nuh-uh!" Sakura jumped in, having heard Itachi and gay go together, "He was totally checking out my boobs last night!"
"There's nothing there to check out, ugly dog. You are to breasts as Naruto is to dick."
"SHANNAROOOOO!"
"SAI!YOU ASSHOLE!"
Sitting above the carriage, Kakashi sighed. He was never
going to be able to finish Icha, Icha Yuri with his team around.
And so, the tale of Emo Farm's short lived, well, life has a
happy ending.
And to this day, no one is quite sure whether Itachi is gay or emo.
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dut du duuu! El Fin!