Me: Eleventh chapter! Wahoo!
Damian: Congratulations.
Me: Thank you, my friend. Now, JtheChosen1 won our little contest. Feel free to drop your requested victim and, if you want, punishment. And don't worry; after I finish this fic, I'm planning on doing a sequel!
Mike: Heaven help us all.
Jack: For once I agree. May your victims know the warm embrace of Darkness.
Me: HEY! I'm not that bad…am I?
Damian: Of course not. I'm having the time of my life here.
Me: Glad you like it. I hope you continue to do so after the little…surprise I have for you in the Water Temple and in my favorite Temple…the Shadow Temple!
Damian: He only owns me and my madness.
Me: Company…Fall OUT!
We join Link in the Chamber of Sages conversing with his Sworn Brother…
"YOU WON'T GIVE ME THE MEDALLION IF I DON'T GIVE YOU A HUG?!" Link screamed. Darunia nodded happily.
"That's right! You're my Sworn Brother, yet you've never given me a hug. That's just wrong." Darunia said. Link weighted his options, on one hand, he needs the Medallion, and on the other hand, he loves his spine. A shame his need is more important that his wants.
"Ok. I'll do it." Link said and Darunia smiled happily. Exactly five point two seconds later, Link's upper spine was dust; his ribs were cracking and one of his lungs was starting to collapse. "Darunia…I can't…breathe…" Link managed to get past the death-grip Darunia called a hug.
"Oops. So sorry about that." Darunia said and released Link.
"Sorry to interrupt a family moment, but the hero should leave. He still has to awaken three other sages." Damian said, materializing behind Darunia and making the newly awoken Sage of Fire scream like a little girl. "Wow. I didn't think Gorons could jump like that…or scream like little girls. Moron, we should leave…See ya in the raging inferno, Sage of Fire." Damian chuckled and left.
"…That boy is creepy." Darunia said and Link nodded. "He is right though. You should leave. Here's the Medallion." Darunia said and lifted his arms. Link looked upwards in order to catch the Medallion, but the Medallion hit the back of his head.
"SHIT! THAT HURT!" Link yelled at the top of his lungs.
"You know, idiot. I'm standing right next to you…there's no need to yell." Damian said. Link looked around and saw he was standing in Death Mountain Crater again. "It seems your Brother freaked out when the Medallion hit you and transported you out here. Anyway, there's a Great Fairy fountain in that cave over there. Let's go there." Damian said and walked away.
"Won't this GF freak out when she sees or senses you?" Link asked, remembering when he and Damian met their first GF.
"Even if she does that doesn't change the fact you need whatever help she can offer. Besides, I have grown much more skilled in the seven years you spent sleeping. It's impossible for me to grow more powerful. She will shit her fountain before she even gathers the courage to look at me, never mind talking to me." Damian said and they entered the GF fountain. Cue in bitch's lullaby and loud obnoxious laughter.
"Welcome young ones; I am the GF of Courage. I'll give the young hero more magic power." The GF said and Link felt more power flowing through his body. "Young hero and young Child of Darkness, the goddesses are protecting you and they are pleased you have healed your heart. If you become weary of battle, come here to be refreshed." The GF said and disappeared.
"Well…that was odd. I would have thought they would all fear me. Oh well, it is of little consequence. Link, I'll wait for you in Zora's Domain." Damian said and left.
"Damn it. Once again I have to walk while he goes and has fun. I wonder what he does for entertainment…" Link thought and shuddered. "He probably guts monsters for fun…Or "rolls in the hay" with Malon." Link thought and snickered. Suddenly he felt a chill in the air and turned very slowly. "W-w-who's there?" Link asked and saw Damian's silhouette. "Damian, is that you?" The figure entered the light and Link saw it wasn't Damian but his Shadow. "Shadow, what do you want?"
Shadow just stared at him and threw something at Link. Link caught it and saw it was the torso of a ReDead with a message carved in the flesh. The message read. "I told you never to suggest that again! I will let you go with a warning this time, but if you suggest that again I'll make sure your bloodline dies with you!" Link swallowed hard and looked at Shadow.
"He is mad, isn't he?" He asked Shadow nervously, Shadow nodded and opened a portal on the ground and pointed it. "You want me to enter that portal?" Shadow nodded and jumped in, Link jumped in shortly after and found himself in Zora's Domain and noticed something a little bit different…"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE?!"
"No need to yell. It's just a little cold. No big deal." Damian, who had just appeared, said, scaring Link and forcing him to jump 6 feet in the air. "You just keep improving your jumping skills, don't you?" Damian snickered.
"Why is it you enjoy torturing me?" Link asked glaring at Damian. Damian shrugged.
"Comic amusement. Here, catch!" Damian said throwing Link a blue tunic. "That's a Zora Tunic. It keeps you from drowning. You'll probably need it and it was free, so there. We should go, there's an interesting looking cave in the fountain." Damian said and began to walk away. "Oh that's right! Here." Damian said handing Link a giant sword. "That's a Biggoron Sword; it was a pain in the ass to get it so take good care of it." Damian said and walked away.
Link stood there dumbfounded, Damian had gotten a sword for him. That was plain weird. But he shrugged it off and walked away. They entered the Ice Cavern and, after a whole lot of curses and fireballs later, they reached a room where a lone White Wolfos stayed. Damian had grown mighty pissed off because of the cold so he charged at the Wolfos and ripped its lower jaw off. "That was a bit too much, Damian." Link said and shuddered at Damian's glare. "Never mind." Link said meekly. Sheik appeared shortly afterwards and, after another pointless poem, taught Link the Serenade of Water. "You should get out of here, Sheik. Damian's been pretty pissed lately. He might even rip your arms of and beat you to death with them." Link told Sheik, who just nodded and disappeared.
"Good riddance! I hate that bitch. We should go, see ya at Lake Hylia." Damian said and vanished into the shadows.
"Ha! Now I don't have to walk! I can just play the Serenade and warp to the Lake!" Link said happily and warped. When he arrived he saw Damian standing on a small pillar near the main isle of Lake Hylia. "What the hell are you doing there?" Link asked. Damian vanished and materialized next to Link.
"I was getting these." He said, giving Link a strange looking arrow. "Those are Fire Arrows. They ignite with your magic. I'll join you inside the Temple…I don't like diving too much." Damian said and vanished.
"Strange guy, he loves rain but he doesn't like diving? He gets wet anyway! I should probably stop talking to myself and enter the Temple. Yes I should do that." Link said to himself and entered the Temple. After meeting Ruto and her vanishing act (I always wonder how the hell she does that…) Link continued to advance until he found Damian standing in front of a door.
"Glad you could join me, Link. I can sense a great power of Darkness inside this room. Be ready." Damian said and opened the door. They found themselves in a room that extended forever. Link walked to the other door and found it locked.
"Hehehe! You stupid kid! Inside this room you will face your greatest trial yet! Kid, meet your shadow!" Ganondorf's voice rumbled in the room and Link's shadow jumped out of the ground.
"Bitch-dorf, you stupid asshole! What do you hope to accomplish?! There are two of us and even if you tried you can't turn my shadow against me! I am my own dark side!" Damian yelled. Ganondorf could be heard chuckling.
"I know that, Death. That's why I revived an old acquaintance of yours." Ganondorf said and Damian noticed a shadow rising from a portal that appeared on the ground.
"You!" Damian snarled at the shadow. Link looked at the newly arrived shadow and saw it had a startling resemblance to Damian, same hair length, same face shape and wore gauntlets exactly like the one Damian wore. "I see you could not stay dead, could you…Father." Damian said with venom dripping from his words. Link's heart stopped for a second; that was Damian's father?! "No, you idiot. My real father is dead, I killed him, remember? This is his shadow. A Demon's shadow lives on, even if the Demon is dead. The shadow merely carries the memory and essence of the Demon, but it's not truly alive. That shadow has about a third of my father's powers." Damian said, still glaring at the shadow. "But that third is enough to wipe out this dimension and most of the people within it. I'll take care of it; you defeat your own shadow." Damian said, drew his scythe and charged at the shadow of his father.
"Ok, here I go!" Link said and charged at Dark Link. They were evenly matched, for each hit Link delivered Dark Link delivered another. Link had an idea and drew the Biggoron Sword. It did the trick, Dark Link's sword didn't have the range necessary to hit Link and avoid being hit. A few minutes later, Dark Link vanished and Link nearly collapsed out of exhaustion. He looked around and saw Damian fighting with the shadow of his father.
"Damn you! You made my life a literal Hell! You never wanted me! You kept comparing me with your older children and always belittle me! This time, I'll make sure your whole essence is completely obliterated!" Damian snarled and cleaved the shadow into many tiny pieces. "Now, cast my enemy into eternal oblivion! Khaos!" Damian yelled and a vortex of darkness engulfed the pieces of the shadow. "I have had my revenge, Father. I will stop hating you; I hope that, as you float in eternal darkness, you can acknowledge me as your son." Damian said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "Link, I, uh, I'm afraid I won't be staying in this Temple any longer. This has reopened some wounds I would prefer to seal before I do anything else. When you kill the monster in here, go to the ranch. I'll probably be there. See you later." Damian said and vanished.
"Poor guy. And I thought not having parents sucked. I guess having them and having them hate you is worse." Link said and continued through the Temple and, with the aid of the Longshot, he finally reached the boss. After a few throws, Link started to wonder how to kill it, he then remembered the Fire Arrows and shot one at Morpha. It worked, the long tentacle evaporated, leaving the core unprotected. After a few arrows and slashes, Morpha died and Link entered the blue light. After the most pointless (apart from Sheik's) speech, Link received the Water Medallion and appeared in Lake Hylia. He headed for the ranch and arrived after nightfall. "Damn, they're probably asleep." Link said and headed to the barn, to sleep in the hay. When he opened the door, he heard something that made his blood run slightly cool. He heard moaning and grunting. "Sweet goddesses. They're not…are they?" Link thought, until he heard the loudest moan and grunt yet. "Sweet goddesses…" Link thought and decided to sleep in the silo.
Me: That was the eleventh chapter.
Mike: What in the name of all that is good where they doing?!
Jack: Hehehe. Isn't it obvious, they were "rolling in the hay"
Me: That's right. Sorry about being so vague, but I won't start writing that kind of material…yet.
Jack & Mike: Read and Review.
Me: Oh, and don't forget your prize!