Chapter Ten: "The Real Heavy Fire"
of The Real Me
A/N: Hello everyone! I'm back with a new chapter (finally)! Between school and other activities, I barely have enough time to eat and sleep. I am on winter break now and I plan on updating my stories and having extras written (fingers crossed).
Songs: The song for this chapter is Heavy Fire by Adam Lambert. This song comes from his latest album The Original High which is bomb and you should all listen to it and love it!
I do not own any of the characters or songs.
Enjoy!
..MAGNUS POV..
I walked back from the kitchen with freshly popped popcorn and sodas for me and my uncles. After they found out about my feelings for Alexander, they insisted on watching his Ellen interview with me in the living room and here we are. Alexander's interview had been the talk of the school for the last few days and it was worse since he missed most of school on Friday to go to LA to film it and record a new song he wrote, though the last part isn't known to the public.
I handed my uncles their drinks and their bowl of popcorn as they cuddled on the loveseat before taking mine to the big couch and laying down just as Ellen came on.
"Our next guest is a singer who got famous overnight. Please welcome pop sensation Alec Lightwood" Ellen says as the crowd goes wild and Alexander walks out in all his glory and hugs Ellen before sitting down. I am a little, a lot, jealous that he got to hug Ellen.
As the interview progresses, I can't take my eyes away from the screen as he tells the story of how he became known for his music and not just because of his parents and how he deals with his newfound popularity. My heart flutters when they move to our group of friends at school and they show a picture of us goes to Taki's the other night. I can't help but feel giddy when I hear him say my name and I instantly feel like a kid getting flustered over their first crush, though that happiness is soon crushed when Ellen asked the dreaded question;
"Last question from me: Are you dating anyone?" Although I know what his answer is probably going to be, I feel hope starting to rise that he would confirm our feelings for each other even though we aren't official.
"No, I'm not dating anyone." Those five words always hurt more than I think they will. I get up from the couch, not bothering to watch the rest of the interview. As I leave the house, I see the pity looks coming from my uncles before walking out with my phone and headphones. I'm glad I didn't put on pajamas after my shower later and actual clothes I think as I walk down the street while listening to my playlist named My Escape.
As I walk down the sidewalk, I feel like I'm getting sucked into a troublesome whirlpool with Alexander. Are my feelings for him worth the heartache that could face with the being involved with a closet case? I honestly don't know, but I know I will regret not giving it a try. I get pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of someone singing in the local café and I decide to go into the place.
I quickly find an empty seat in the back near the counter after removing my headphones and ordering a latte. The girl performing is singing one of my favorite and unrated songs, Lost Boy by Ruth B. The song is about a person who is depressed and I used to listen to everyday after my dad's death. His accident is the reason why I started writing my own songs, it served as a way for me to express the pain and escape my reality. I came to live with Uncle Adam and Uncle Brendon right after since I knew them the best and my Dad trusted them with his life.
When she's finished, the entire café erupts in applause making her blush profusely as she walks off the small platform and sits down with a group of friends.
As I sat there, my thoughts wondered back to when Alexander and I were caught kissing by Jace. I was frozen in shock and I immediately felt guilty after Jace left and slammed the door. I was snapped back when I hear Alec's breathing increase and he started shaking. I instantly called for Isabelle and she helped to coax him back and I knew I had a worried expression on my face when he quickly looked down after looking at me. How could I not have a worried expression when he just freaked out? I felt like it was entirely my fault and I thought he would hate me.
After he ignored me all throughout the day, even going as far as going to his car during lunch. I watched him all through calculus, wondering if this was his way of getting me to forget about what happened. When the bell rang, I got without waiting on him and said that him ignoring me won't keep me from asking questions.
That afternoon, I went over his house and he told me why he has panic attacks and I understand why he is afraid to come out. Although I understand, it doesn't make his earlier statement any easier to hear, which makes me feel like a total hypocrite. I get pulled out of my thoughts again by a barista saying that the stage was open for anyone who wanted to sing. I thought about what song I wanted sing and I remembered the song I was listening to before I came into here. I went up to the counter and signed up before finding the instrumental for the song.
When my turn came up, I went to up to the stage and plugged my phone into the sound system.
"Hello everyone, I'm Magnus and I'm going to sing a song I wrote a while ago called Heavy Fire. I hope you like it." I took a deep breath and signaled for the music to start.
I'll be trying too hard when I already lost
I can't bet on these cards cause I know what they'll cost
If I get a scent that's meant to trip my reason
I'm sold, I can't be told to pass what I had last
I don't wanna get down in the flame
Why you gotta make me play this game?
Just like a honest liar
Taking on heavy fire
I don't wanna melt down in the heat
Like I got the devil at my feet
Just like a funeral pyre
Taking on heavy fire
So give it to me, throw me some shade
Why can't I see this conclusion I've saved?
When I think about the doubt that I depend on
I'm sold, I can't be told to pass what I had last
I don't wanna get down in the flame
Why you gotta make me play this game?
Just like a honest liar
Taking on heavy fire
I don't wanna melt down in the heat
Like I got the devil at my feet
Just like a funeral pyre
Taking on heavy fire
Feel like an honest liar
Taking on a heavy fire
I feel so complete
Just like an honest liar
Taking on heavy fire
When I finish I open my eyes, not realizing they were closed, and look around the café before locking eyes on the person who has been haunting my thoughts all day:
Alexander.
A/N: These two make my heart melt every time! I'm so inspired that I'm starting the next chapter right now. I hope to write a lot over the break so I have extra chapters saved and I hopefully start updating on a schedule. If I start doing that it would be on Sundays.
If you want to see the explanation of the song, go on YouTube and search "Heavy Fire Commentary" and it should be the first video with Adam Lambert's gorgeous face in the thumbnail.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review with your thoughts on the chapter or story in general. Favorite and follow if you haven't already.
Faking A Smile