Cannonball Run 5: Overdrive

by BKelly95

Seven continents, fortytwo teams, two hundred and fifty million dollars in prize money, and one serious threat. This can only mean one thing: the Cannonball Run is back.

11. Eurorun

Cannonball Run 5: Overdrive

Chapter Eleven: Eurorun

AN:The section of dialogue between Lara's team and Team Rocket was mostly written by Anthony Bannon, a.k.a. The Turbo Man. He gave me some suggestions on how the argument should go, but I couldn't improve on it.

The Emu raced across a bridge leading to Italy.

"Flagstaff, Arizona!" sang Crow while wearing headphones. "Don't forget Winona! Kingman, Barstow, San Bernardino! Won't you get hip to this kindly tip? When you make that California trip! Get your kicks...on Route 66!"

"I've lived a life that's full." sang Tom while wearing headphones as well. "I've traveled each and every highway. And more, much more than this, I did it my way."

"Love me, love me. Say that you love me." sang Gypsy with her operatic singing voice. She was also wearing headphones. "Leave me, leave me. Go on and leave me."

Mike drove off the bridge and pulled into a convenience store next to the Vortex 5, Piranha PDQ, L.A. Cop Car, and Zender Alpha. He reached over and turned down Crow's CD player.

"Hey, I was listening to that." said Crow.

"We're in Italy now." said Mike. "We need to decide what we need from the store. Crow, turn down Tom's CD player."

"Okay." said Crow.

Mike turned down Gypsy's CD player while Crow worked with Tom's.

"Okay, Gypsy." said Mike. "We need to decide...Crow, that's the wrong way!"

As the volume increased, Tom screamed. Then his dome exploded. "Oh, nice one, Crow!" he said. "You don't blast Ol' Blue Eyes, you savor him."

Joanna and Chun Li gassed up the Zender Alpha while Marcus and Regis looked at them.

"I don't get it, Marcus." said Regis. "What am I doing wrong?"

"What aren't you doing wrong?" said Marcus. "Face it, brother. Lara and her team are in a class way above yours. I think you need to set your sights lower."

Regis looked around, then motioned towards Team Rocket. As James was fueling up the Piranha PDQ, Jessie, Annie, and Oakley stood around stretching their legs.

"Can't get much lower than that." said Marcus.

Regis took off his shirt and picked up a dumbbell. He put his foot up on the Cop Car's front bumper, rested his elbow on his knee, and started doing curls with the dumbbell. The girls from Team Rocket started laughing.

"Hey, they're laughing." whispered Regis to Marcus. "I think they're impressed."

"Isn't that just the most pathetic thing?" whispered Annie to Oakley.

"I know." said Oakley.

Just then, Lone Wolf pulled in on the Nousagi.

"And on the other end of the spectrum." said Jessie.

Lone Wolf got off the Nousagi and walked over to the store. Along the way, he passed Team Rocket.

"Hey, there." said Annie.

"Oh, great. Not this again." thought Lone Wolf.

"How are you doing?" asked Oakley.

Joanna and Chun Li marched over.

Jessie took a breath through her nose and said "I smell...skanks."

"Who are you calling skanks?" asked Joanna.

"Come on, we know you four can't keep those stupid jumpsuits zipped up anytime a cop comes near you!" said Annie.

"Yeah!" said Jessie. "Unlike you, we don't need to rely on our mammary glands to win this race!"

"We can so win this race without us always doing that!" said Chun Li. "But that's not the point! What did you three think you were doing making eyes at Lone Wolf?"

"It's called flirting, not that it's any of your business!" said Oakley.

"It is our business!" said Joanna. "You honestly think he'd be interested in a bunch of old witches like you?"

"What did you just call me?" yelled Jessie.

Lara and Cate watched from inside the store.

"Great, now we have to lend a hand." said Lara.

"I wouldn't do so for anyone else." said Cate.

They quickly stepped outside and joined in.

"What's going on here?" asked Lara.

"These two skanks of yours were trying to tell us not to flirt with Lone Wolf." said Annie.

"You should be one to someone skanks." said Cate. "I heard you got arrested in Africa. How'd you get back on the road so quickly? Something...underhanded?"

"Unbelievable." said James. "The girls are arguing over that guy when I'm right here."

"Don't feel so down." said Meowth. "You do have that unquestionable ability to make a fool of yourself."

"Yeah, you're right." said James. "Hey!"

The desk clerk watched in amusement.

Jarod walked up to the counter and dropped an armload of graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate onto it. "So, what's the proper ratio for s'mores?" he asked.

XXXXXXXXXX

At U62, Tanner and Everett ran out with a long, tall package and jumped into the Mr. Whoopie. They sped away.

"What's the next part of the plan?" asked Everett.

"We have to get to the airport." said Tanner. "The Cannonballers are probably in Europe by now. The last place they're supposed to be in Europe is Ireland."

"We have to hurry then." said Everett.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Cannonballers have now entered Europe." announced Phil. "After this, they just have to make it through North America again and then the finish at the Grand Canyon."

"But right now, we have an in-car interview with one of the teams." said David. "Every year, these ladies take part, racing for charity. And this year, they've been joined by a pair of young men just itching for excitement."

"So, without further delay, here's Team Angel." said Phil.

The camera inside the Karuma turned on. Dylan was behind the wheel.

"Hi, Phil." she said. "How's it going?"

"I was just about to ask you the same question." said Phil. "We're doing okay here. How does it feel to have entered the next to last continent of the journey?"

"I'm a little excited to be near the end where the winner will be revealed." said Natalie. "I'm also a little sad that the adventure is almost over."

"I think we all are." said Phil. "Have you been having any real trouble as of late?"

"Not recently." said Alex. "We've been having a few run-ins with the bad guys here and there, but right now they're behaving themselves."

"Maybe they finally gave up?" suggested Phil.

"Maybe." said Natalie.

"You know, every year Charlie plans to donate the prize money to charity." said Phil. "I'm certain you're willing to go along with this."

"We are, Phil." said Dylan. "We've even made some requests for charities for Charlie to support."

"Uh, Phil?" asked Alex. "We're actually trying to concentrate on the race. I think I'll let you continue this interview with the...dudes."

She picked up the camera and handed it to Wayne and Garth.

"Thank you, Lex." said Wayne. "Hey, what's up, Phil? Close up!"

Garth laughed as Wayne moved the camera closer to his face.

"Extreme close up!" yelled Garth.

Wayne pushed the camera right up to Garth's eye.

"Uh, we'll get back to you later." said Phil.

"And so it goes." said David. "You know, for some reason, there's something I like about those guys."

"Right now, we have a new musical performance for you." said Phil. "So let's give it up for Love Fist."

Love Fist took to the stage. "Before we play, I'd like to dedicate this song to the Scottish National Soccer Team who are now taking part in the World Cup."

Then the band started to perform.

Are you feeling the fire?
Are you ready to explode?
Are your dreams and desires,
running down an open road?

I'm like a runaway,
a heart without a home.
Others can laugh and play.
I'll fight for every inch I take.
I'm desperate to the bone.

Stay hungry.
Feel the fire.
Stay hungry.
Don't explode.
Stay hungry.
With desire.
Stay hungry.
You're alone.

Be the hunter and the hunted.
Keep your target in your sight.
Don't be sidetracked or shunted.
Let pretenders feel your bite.

And if you start to slide,
never show you're weak.
Don't feel you've got to hide.
Remember what you're fighting for.
Remember what you seek.

Stay hungry.
Feel the fire.
Stay hungry.
Don't explode.
Stay hungry.
With desire.
Stay hungry.
You're alone.
Alright!

If your fire is faded,
and you can't feel it no more.
If you're tired and overrated,
let me show you to the door.

Expect no sympathy,
there's none to be had.
Open your eyes and see.
There's no room for the wannabes,
the has beens and the bad.

Stay hungry.
Feel the fire.
Stay hungry.
Don't explode.
Stay hungry.
With desire.
Stay hungry.
You're alone.

Stay hungry.
Feel the fire.
Stay hungry.
Don't explode.
Stay hungry.
With desire.
Stay hungry.
You're alone.

-"Stay Hungry" by Twisted Sister.

"Coming up soon, we have more action for you." announced Phil.

"Later." said Jezz. "I have to make a phone call."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Hunters walked down a street in Athens.

"If I don't kill someone soon, I'm going to forget how." said Korpi.

"Well, look at the bright side." said Darden. "Maybe DeMarco got us some decent cars this time."

The Hunters entered a parking lot and stopped.

"No such luck." said Korpi.

In front of them were a blue Toyota Tercel, a white Honda Prelude, a tan Chevy Nova station wagon with a white roof, and a yellow Mazda RX-7. A note was taped to the front of the Tercel.

"Get the note." said Paul.

Joe picked up the note and read it. "Dear morons. Due to your most recent setbacks, I am forced to bring in more of my cars and more of Lance's. Darden and Korpi get the Tercel which I call the Manana. Joe and Max get the Prelude, which is called Previon. Paul and Feliz will get the Perennial, which is the Nova wagon. And Lance and Johnny get the RX-7, whatever the expletive deleted they call it."

"The ZR-350." said Lance.

"Where's DeMarco if this is so important to him?" asked Johnny.

Joe kept reading. "I will be going to Germany to get some assistance from the Volks Corporation. Hopefully, you expletive deleted losers can lessen the difficulty of my task, but I doubt it."

"Okay, let's not stand around talking." said Korpi.

The Hunters got into their cars.

"Nice to see DeMarco has such high regard for us." said Korpi.

"You got that right." said Darden. "Hey, turn on the radio."

"Why?" asked Korpi as he went to turn on the radio.

"Maybe we can find some coverage on the Cannonball and see where they are." said Darden.

Korpi turned on the radio, then started the car.

"The Cannonballers are now racing through Europe." said the host of a sports show. "The phones are ringing off the hook for that. Is there anyone else out there? You know, World Cup Soccer is also going on and for some reason, we haven't heard from anyone supporting Scotland's soccer team. If there are any Scottish soccer fans out there, call in and let yourself be heard. Hello, you're on the air."

"This is Jezz Torrent from Love Fist!"

"Oh, really?" said the host. "So, you're calling in support of the Scottish soccer team?"

"That I am." said Jezz.

"So, what do you want to say?" asked the host.

"Well, you wanted some Scottish soccer fans to call in. So, I'm calling in." said Jezz.

"Wait, you're calling in just to say you're calling in?" asked the host.

"Aye, you got a better reason?" asked Jezz. Korpi quickly turned off the radio.

XXXXXXXXXX

Somewhere in Italy...

"Okay, guys." said DeMarco. "Your targets are the Cannonballers. You are to take them out with extreme prejudice using whatever means you have. Are you ready?"

The chamber in front of him didn't answer.

"They really should have put some way of communicating with these spirits on this thing." said DeMarco. "Okay, get ready. And go!"

He opened the chamber and a horde of ghosts flew out. Just then, the Buccaneer drove up and Foyt and the Warrior climbed out.

"You're using ghosts now?" asked Foyt.

"Yeah, ain't it cool?" asked DeMarco. "I've had to resort to these measures due to the incompetence of the Hunters."

"But aren't ghosts just a little over the top for this?" asked Foyt.

"You should be one to talk, Foyt." said DeMarco. "Wasn't it you who lost the Windsor in Springfield?"

"Um...wow, look at those ghosts go." said Foyt.

One ghost hadn't flown off with the others. Instead, he hung around DeMarco and listened in. "The Cannonballers." he said to himself. "So, the Volks Corporation does have connections with this guy. I have to help them."

XXXXXXXXXX

In Romania, the Cocotte stopped in a village. The Turtles then entered a store.

"Ah, smell that garlic." said Leonardo. "Reminds me of the pizza places back home."

"Yeah, we should grab some." said Michaelangelo. "I'm making plans for a totally gnarly pizza and I plan to make my own sauce."

"Uh, Michaelangelo." said Donatello. "I just did a quick tally of the price of the ingredients and we can't afford everything."

"You say you want garlic?" asked a mysterious stranger. He had long, black hair, a black coat, and a black hat.

"Who are you?" asked Leonardo.

"Someone who wants to see you're safe." said the stanger. "I'll buy the garlic for you. But remember not to make your pizza until you're safely out of Transylvania."

"Ye-eah." said Raphael. "If you pay us a visit to New York, we'll give you a silver knife. But just remember not to cut anything until you're safely out of werewolf country."

"You can mock me right now." said the stranger. "But you'll be very happy once you've survived the night."

"Dude, take his offer." said Michaelangelo.

"Ah, why not?" said Leonardo. "Michaelangelo, surely even you can wait for a pizza."

"Just as Master Splinter says." said Michaelangelo. "Good things come to those who wait."

"That's not Master Splinter, that's a ketchup commercial." said Donatello.

"Well, it sounded like something he'd say." said Michaelangelo.

A few minutes later, the Turtles were back on the road. The stranger walked away to an eight-foot-tall creature with a green glow coming from under a glass dome on his head.

"Who were those beings?" asked the creature.

"Travelers." said the stranger. "I gave them some protection for their journey through Transylvania."

"Protection from Dracula, Van Helsing?" asked the creature.

"Let's hope they heed my warning." said Van Helsing.

XXXXXXXXXX

The ghosts flew down an Italian highway, possessing several objects along the way.

A woman watched the chaos and got scared. Another ghost noticed and possessed her.

The Modo Prego raced towards the spectral mass.

"Hmmm." said Peter in the passenger seat.

"Hmmm, what?" asked Winston from the driver's seat.

"This is the weirdest reading so far." said Peter as he looked at the PKE Meter.

The horde of ghosts continued their way down the highway, possessing a few cars along the way.

"Either this thing's really gone haywire or there's..." said Peter.

"...a horde of ghosts ahead of us!" yelled Winston.

"Right." said Peter.

He looked up and saw the ghosts. He and Winston screamed as they swerved around the horde.

"What happened?" asked Louis as he woke up.

"Grab your proton pack, Louis." said Peter. "It's time for busting ghosts."

Peter and Winston jumped out of the car and threw on their proton packs. Peter quickly dropped a pair of ghost detector goggles over his eyes.

"I got this one." said Peter as he dropped a ghost trap and pressed the pedal. The trap opened and sucked in one of the ghosts.

Winston used his particle stream thrower to get another pair of ghosts under control. Louis dropped a trap and captured the two ghosts.

"Nice work." said Winston.

"Thanks." said Louis.

Peter backed up and asked "Winston, what has four wheels and flies?"

"This is no time for jokes, Peter!" said Winston.

"Who's joking?" asked Peter as he pointed his particle stream thrower at a possessed car that was flying towards him.

He and Winston aimed at the car and let fly with their particle stream throwers. The car exploded after a few seconds.

"Cannonballers." said the woman. "So nice of you to come to me."

Peter looked over her with his detector goggles. "She's possessed." he announced.

"Louis, get the de-possessor out of the car." said Winston. "It looks like a taser."

Louis went to the car while Peter and Winston aimed at the woman.

"Hurry, Louis." said Peter.

"Got it." said Louis.

"Good, zap her." said Winston.

Louis fired the de-possessor at the woman.

"How many times have we used that?" asked Peter.

"This will be test one." said Winston.

Suddenly, the ghost was torn out of the woman. Unfortunately, the de-possessor also caused her hair to stand on end.

Peter and Winston immediately trapped the ghost in their particle streams and Louis threw in a ghost trap. He hit the pedal and trapped the ghost.

"Where's the rest?" asked Winston.

"They're running." said Peter. "I guess we showed them."

The formerly possessed woman stumbled over mumbling incoherantly.

"Louis, take care of her." said Peter.

Louis led the woman away and said "You know, I was possessed once and turned into a dog. But look at me now."

"Those ghosts were after the Cannonballers." said Winston. "If we don't capture them, they could cause serious trouble."

"Right, we have to get our detectors online." said Peter. He took the PKE meter out of his belt and checked the readings. "This is weird."

"How?" asked Winston.

"According to this, these ghosts are artificial." said Peter.

"Artificial?" asked Winston. "How's that possible?"

"Someone must have developed a method of extracting a person's spirit from their body." said Peter. "After that, they have the same abilities and powers as Class 2 free-roaming vapors."

Winston took out his PDA and checked the map of Europe. "Okay, this is the race route." he said. "If we can track down these ghosts, we can..."

Suddenly, the ghost who'd been spying on DeMarco popped up on the PDA and said "Hello." He scared the living daylights out of them. "Sorry about that." he said.

"Who are you?" asked Peter.

"My name is John Raimi." said the ghost. "I'm a scientist who was sent with a commando squad to rescue a friend from the Volks Corporation. I was captured and subjected to a terrible experiment."

"I take it you were separated from your body and sent to fight us." said Winston.

"Correct." said John. "The Volks Corporation is attempting to assemble an army of ghosts."

"Did they read Egon's notebook?" asked Peter.

"How many were there?" asked Winston.

"Maybe thirty." said John.

"Looks like we have a lot of work ahead of us." said Peter.

XXXXXXXXXX

In Spain, the Mystery Inc. team made their way through the Pyrenee Mountains.

"Sorry we didn't go through Italy, guys." said Freddie.

"Oh, no problem." said Shaggy. "I guess we can save room for France."

"Ruh huh." said Scooby. "Rooh rah rah."

"What's going on here?" asked Daphne. The traffic ahead of them was backed up and not moving.

"I'll check." said Freddie as he pulled up next to a police officer. "Excuse me, what's going on here?"

"I'm terribly sorry, senor." said the officer. "There's been a landslide. We're diverting traffic down Highway 4."

"But that will add hours to our journey." said Freddie. "Is there a shorter route?"

"Well, you could take the Juan Escobar Trail." said the officer. "Unfortunately, that's only traversible if you have an off-road vehicle."

Freddie turned to the others with a mischievous look in his eye.

XXXXXXXXXX

In Arizona, Monk looked at a map of Europe in the command center. LL Cool J walked in.

"Wassup, Cool J?" asked Nash.

"Just getting bored out there and I came in to see what you were doing." said Cool J. "Hey, is that Adrian Monk?"

"It sure is." said Nash.

"What's he up to?" asked Cool J.

"He's helping us set up a trap for those guys with the EDB." said Nash.

"Wow, I've heard of this guy." said Cool J. "It's kind of cool to see him in action."

Monk turned around and said "Mr. Cool J, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. That's really distracting."

"Oh, was I talking too loud?" asked Cool J. "No problem, I'll shut up."

"No, no. It's your pants." said Monk. "You've got one pant leg pulled halfway up your shin and the other is down to your ankle. Please, either leave or fix your pant leg."

"But that's my style." said Cool J.

Monk looked at him pleadingly.

"Oh, alright." said Cool J. He pulled his pant leg down. When Monk turned back, Cool J pulled his pant leg back up.

"I saw that." said Monk.

Cool J groaned and walked out of the room.

"Adrian, why did you do that?" asked Nash. "That's one of the few rap artists I can respect."

"Nash, this is very tedious work." said Monk. "I have to look at this map and try to plot where the guys with the EDB are going to strike and try to ignore little mistakes like this bridge that only goes halfway across the Irish Sea. WHY IS THERE A BRIDGE THERE ON THIS MAP?"

"Because the bridge is there in reality." said Nessa. "The Bluths tried building it from Scotland to Londonderry, but they discovered the Irish terminus would cut through a landmark called the Giant's Causeway. Rather than infuriate the government, they decided to move the bridge. It now runs from Wales to the Isle of Man to Belfast. However, they didn't have time to remove the half-bridge and it's still there."

Monk's eyes widened with a sudden inspiration. "I think I have a plan!" he said.

XXXXXXXXXX

Freddie parked at the start of the Juan Escobar Trail. Just as the officer explained, it was an extremely rough trail designed for off-roaders. He took one last look at the others, then at the thick traffic behind him.

"Last chance to back out." he said.

"We've come this far." said Velma.

"Go for it." said Daphne.

Freddie put the ice cream truck in gear and drove onto the trail. The truck bounced over the rocky terrain.

In the back, Shaggy and Scooby were tossed around while they ate their ice cream.

"Ironicly, I'm eating rocky road." said Shaggy.

Freddie drove up a mountain and continued bouncing around.

"You can do it." said Daphne.

Freddie continued up a sharp incline. The truck leaned forward after he crested a rise, then back when he went up another hill. Then, he reached the top of the trail and came to a stop.

"Well, that's it." he said.

"What do you mean 'that's it'?" asked Velma. "We're only halfway through the trail."

"No, I mean 'That's it, we're stuck'." said Freddie.

He was right. The ice cream truck had high-centered and was now tetering on a rocky peak. Out of self-disgust, he leaned his head onto the steering wheel and was surprised when the truck leaned forward a little.

"Do that again." said Daphne.

Freddie quickly leaned forward again. The truck leaned forward again, but not enough to free itself. He continued to rock back and forth. The truck did so as well, but didn't come close to touching the ground.

"Keep it up. You're doing it." said Velma.

"I'm trying, but we're not making contact." said Freddie. "We're too heavy in the rear."

"Maybe we should move some of the ice cream up front." said Shaggy. "You know, like, in our stomachs."

"Shaggy, I've got an idea." said Freddie. "Come with me outside."

Freddie and Shaggy climbed out of the truck and ran to the back. They climbed up the back and onto the roof, then made their way to the front. They then dropped down the front and held onto the roof while shaking.

"Keep it up. Keep it up." said Freddie.

The truck finally fell forward and hit the road. In fact, it rolled down the trail out of control.

"We did it!" yelled Velma.

"Wait, who's driving?" asked Daphne.

"Roh no!" said Scooby.

"I did not think this through!" said Freddie as he and Shaggy held onto the windshield wipers for dear life.

At the bottom of the hill, Sam and Max walked away from the Bryanston V.

"Couldn't we stop at a rest area instead?" asked Max.

"Nah, this is all part of the journey." said Sam.

The ice cream truck rumbled by behind them. They turned around, but didn't see it. They shrugged and moved on.

"You know, I hope we can stop before we hit the turn." said Freddie.

"What turn?" asked Shaggy. He turned around and saw a sharp right turn ahead. "Oh, that one." he said.

The truck went off the trail at the turn and Freddie and Shaggy were thrown from the truck into the clearing on the other side.

"Zoinks, that was close." said Shaggy.

The truck then pulled through the trees and lumbered towards them. They grabbed onto each other. Then the truck rolled over them, but they managed to stay below the frame rails and were not injured.

Scooby managed to get the truck stopped and Daphne and Velma jumped out.

"Are you guys alright?" asked Velma.

"Yeah, we're fine." said Shaggy.

"Good, now let's get back into the truck and go." said Daphne.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Turtles continued their journey through Transylvania.

"Faster, dude!" yelled Michaelangelo.

"I'm going as fast as the car will go." said Leonardo. "The roads aren't helping much."

"Relax, Michaelangelo." said Donatello. "We only got the ingredients an hour ago. They're not going to go bad just yet."

Suddenly, the Cocotte was hit by a shot from the EDB and crept to a halt.

"Yeah, we're really whizzing now." said Raphael.

The Perrenial drove past them. "So long, shellbacks!" yelled Paul.

"That's for what you did to us in the Pacific!" yelled Feliz.

"Those scuzbuckets!" yelled Michaelangelo.

"Hey, guys!" said Donatello. "There's a castle over there. Maybe we can take shelter there until help arrives."

"It doesn't look safe, but I guess we have no choice." said Leonardo.

"Better hurry, it's getting dark." said Raphael.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you sure this is going to work?" asked Linda.

"Positive." said Mitzi. "If we get those two brothers in the police car, it'll definitely work."

"Wait, here comes someone." said Mia.

"Okay, girls." said Mitzi. "Now!"

The girls all unzipped their jumpsuits as the car raced towards them. After they showed some cleavage, the car stopped.

"Nice work." said Mitzi.

"Wait, look who it is!" said Nichole. She pointed to the car that had stopped, the Zender Alpha.

Lara, Joanna, Chun Li, and Cate climbed out. "What do you think you're doing?" asked Lara.

"Uh...getting some sun?" asked Kim as she zipped up. The other girls followed suit.

"You're ripping off our routine!" said Chun Li.

"Yeah!" added Joanna.

"Well, it's not like it was you who came up with it!" said Mia. "I'm sure you remember Jill Rivers and Marcie Thatcher!"

"We're fighting on the side of the Cannonball!" said Cate. "It's more our routine than yours!"

"It's not like Rivers and Thatcher patented their routine." said Mitzi.

"Maybe not, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to stop us!" said Lara as she drew her guns. Joanna and Cate did so as well and Chun Li took a fighting stance.

"More than this?" asked Mitzi. "Then, how about this?" She and the others started to merge into a giant woman.

"This could be a problem." said Joanna.

"You think?" asked Cate.

"Not necessarily." said Chun Li.

Chun Li ran and took a leap at the giant. The giant woman tried to grab her, but Chun Li went into her Lightning Leg attack. She knocked back the alien giant and landed successfully. As the giant turned to grab her again, Chun Li launched into her Rising Kick.

"Bet she does the Spinning Bird Kick next." whispered Joanna.

"Spinning Bird Kick!" called Chun Li as she turned upside-down and spun with her legs extended to the sides. She pressed into the giant with full force and knocked her down.

The giant split back into her individual girls who all turned and ran.

"My strength must have been something you weren't ready for!" said Chun Li.

"Nice work." said Lara. "The rest of us didn't even have to fire a shot."

"Hey, if it keeps us going in the race..." said Chun Li.

"Wait, the race!" said Cate. "We have to get going!"

"Not just yet." said Chun Li. She jumped over to the girls' motorcycles and unleashed her Lightning Leg attack on them. They were quickly destroyed.

"Awesome!" said Joanna.

"And the finishing touch." said Chun Li as she stepped over to Christine. She unleashed another Lightning Leg and tore up the car.

"Nice!" said Lara. "Now, let's go."

The girls got back into the Zender Alpha and left.

"Well, there goes our transportation." said Kim.

"That goddamn shitter just destroyed her!" said Nichole.

"She's a little too attached to that car." said Linda.

Just then, Christine started to reform.

"This is giving me the willies." said Mia.

Within seconds, Christine had fully repaired herself.

"Well, ladies." said Nichole. "Let's go."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Turtles entered the castle. The place was very dusty and filled with broken furniture.

"You know, when I get my own place, it's gonna look just like this." said Raphael.

A tall man in a dark cloak appeared next to them. "Who...or WHAT are you?" he asked.

"We're the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." said Leonardo.

"Sheya, don't you watch television?" asked Michaelangelo.

"I do not." said the man. "What is your business in my castle?"

"We were passing through when we had some car trouble." said Donatello.

"Is it okay if we stay here until help arrives?" asked Leonardo.

"And do you have a kitchen we can use?" asked Michaelangelo.

"By all means." said the man. "The kitchen is in there."

"Thanks." said Leonardo.

XXXXXXXXXX

"This is the Cocotte, but where are the Turtles?" asked Stone Cold.

"It's not like them to lose a fight." said Buffy. "And it doesn't look like there was one."

"Battery's dead." said Butler. "That battery draining weapon must've taken them out."

"There's a castle over there." said Artemis. "They might have gone there for shelter."

"If they did, then they're in serious danger."

Van Helsing and his very large friend approached.

"Who are you?" asked Willow.

"I am Gabriel Van Helsing. And this is the creature created by Doctor Frankenstein."

"Nice to meet you." said Frankenstein.

"What's this about the Turtles being in danger?" asked Rob.

"If these Turtles of yours entered that castle, they're in danger from its resident." said Van Helsing.

"That castle is the summer home of the notorious Count Dracula." said Frankenstein.

"Dracula again?" asked Buffy.

"You've encountered him before?" asked Van Helsing.

"Yup, every year." said Stone Cold.

"Then, I'm going to need your help to face him." said Van Helsing. "You've encountered him before, so you're experienced."

"Let's go." said Buffy. "Who's with me?"

"I am." said Willow.

"Me too." said Artemis.

Nemesis roared.

"Then, we'll go rescue your Turtles now?" asked Frankenstein.

"You said it, Frankie-baby." said Xander.

XXXXXXXXXX

Inside the castle, Donatello and Raphael looked around the room they were in.

"I think a maid service would clean up in a place like this." said Donatello.

"Good, because somebody should." said Raphael.

Leonardo entered from the second floor and jumped down the staircase.

"What's up, Leonardo?" asked Donatello.

"Guys, I just did a sweep of the castle." said Leonardo.

"Take another one, it's still messy." said Raphael.

"I think there's a bigger problem than the mess." said Leonardo. "There's no bed in the master bedroom. And in the basement, there's a series of coffins."

"Wait, Leonardo." said Donatello. "Are you suggesting our gracious host is a vampire?"

"That's about the size of it." said Leonardo.

"Great, let's get Michaelangelo and blow this pop stand." said Raphael.

"Leaving so soon?" asked the strange man.

"I think our assistance is arriving soon." said Donatello.

"Right, so we're just going to grab our friend," said Raphael "and hopefully his pizza, and bid you a fond farewell. Maybe we should exchange e-mail addresses?"

"I think not." said the man. "I believe you'll be staying quite a while." He bared his fangs at that moment.

"Leonardo, you were right!" said Donatello. "He is a vampire!"

"I am more than just a vampire." said the man. "I am none other than Count Dracula. And you are...ARRRGGHHH!!!"

As Dracula recoiled in pain, the Turtles sniffed the air.

"Is that smell what I think it is?" asked Raphael.

"It is!" said Leonardo.

Michaelangelo walked in with a pizza and said "Pizza time!"

"I've never been so glad to see a pizza in my life!" said Donatello.

"And coming from one of us, that says a lot!" said Raphael.

"Fer sure." said Michaelangelo. "I even had a lot of garlic left over, so I made it into a topping."

"You may be wielding a weapon that can repulse me," said Dracula. "but I have a trick up my sleeve. As I speak, several of my friends are on their way."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Leonardo.

Suddenly, various creatures came out of a few doors.

"Meet my army." said Dracula. "Now, please take that pizza away or I will order them to attack."

"Man, there's just no accounting for taste!" said Michaelangelo.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Crown Mail, Torrida, and PT Phoenix raced down a hill and turned onto the bridge to Dracula's castle. The three vehicles stopped in front of the castle and the occupants climbed out. Van Helsing and Frankenstein had been riding in the Crown Mail.

"So, this is it, then." said Willow.

"Right, let's go up and knock on the door." said Van Helsing.

"Hey, guys." said J.D. as he pointed to the sign for Dracula's Castle. "Dracula." He then used a stone to make a period between the "R" and "A". "Dr. Acula." he said.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea." he thought. "I'll get started on the screenplay as soon as we get home."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Turtles had their weapons out and were ready to defend themselves from the monsters.

"They're all around us." said Donatello.

"Then, we'll go down fighting like true ninjas." said Leonardo.

"Maybe Michaelangelo can use that pizza as a force field projector." said Raphael. He turned to Michaelangelo to see him licking his fingers. "Uh, this is probably a stupid question, but where's the pizza?"

"I ate it." said Michaelangelo.

"Yeah, stupid question." said Raphael.

"It's going to take all our skills to get out of this one." said Donatello. "And nothing short of a miracle."

Just then, Nemesis burst through the door and growled. Frankenstein smashed through the other of the double doors and said "Now, that's the way to knock."

The other Cannonballers and Van Helsing followed them.

"You!" yelled Dracula.

"Two vampire hunters..." said Van Helsing.

"...no waiting." said Buffy.

XXXXXXXXXX

Back at Cannonball headquarters, Big Schwag and Frankie were watching the scene unfold.

"Ooh, looks like some major buttkicking is about to start." said Frankie.

"You know, I think they could use some fight music." said Schwag. "Hey, Lenny!"

"All set up." said Lenny Kravitz. "Any requests?"

"Well, the fight is taking place in a ballroom." said Frankie.

"Yeah, it's taking place in a BALLROOM." said Schwag.

"Got it." said Lenny. He started to play.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ooh, I love this song." said J.D.

"Let's go for it." said Butler.

Are you ready, Steve?
Uh-huh.
Andy?
Yeah.
Mick?
Okay.
Alright, fellas.
Let's go.

The Cannonballers and monsters jumped into action.

Oh, it's been getting so hard.
Living with the things you do to me, a-ah.
My dreams are getting so strange.
I'd like to tell you everything I see, hmmmm.

Stone Cold grabbed a zombie and performed a suplex. The zombie's upper torso came apart from its abdomen. "Well, I can honestly say that's never happened before!" said Stone Cold.

Oh, I see a man at the back as a matter of fact,
and his eyes are as red as the sun.
And the girl in the corner, let no one ignore her,
'cause she thinks she's the passionate one.

Leonardo made a cross with his katanas and held a vampire at bay. "Don't do it!" he said. "Turtle blood is bad for you!"

Oh yeah! It was like lightning.
Everybody was frightning.
And the music was soothing.
And they all started grooving.

A werewolf pounced on Nemesis, but he threw it headfirst into the wall. It got back up only to be knocked down again by a zombie thrown by Frankenstein.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the man in the back said "Everyone attack,
and it turned into a ballroom blitz.
And the girl in the corner said "Boy, I want to warn you.
It'll turn into a ballroom blitz"
Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz.

Donatello used his bo staff to knock a zombie off of its feet. He then used it to pole vault into a werewolf and knock it down. After he landed next to a large table, Butler threw a vampire his way and said "Heads up!"

Donatello used his bo staff to impale the vampire. "Nice toss." he said.

Butler ran back into the fray. Then, Xander vaulted over the table and said "Get this guy, Donnie!" Donatello raised his staff a little and tripped the werewolf that was following him.

I'm reaching out for something.
Touching nothing's all I ever do.
Oh, I softly call you over.
When you appear, there's nothing left of you, a-ha.

Rob wrestled with a werewolf. Suddenly, the werewolf relaxed its grip and passed out. J.D. stepped out from behind it with a hypodermic needle.

"Is that stuff good to drink?" asked Rob.

J.D. looked at the needle. "Nope." he said.

Now, the man in the back is ready to crack.
And he raises his hands to the sky.
And the girl in the corner is everybody's mourner.
She could kill you with a wink of her eye.

Raphael and Michaelangelo backed into each other with a pair of werewolves charging from either side.

"Raphael, what goes 'quack'?" asked Michaelangelo.

"Duck?" asked Raphael.

"Exactimundo!" said Michaelangelo. They dropped to the ground and the werewolves crashed into each other head-on.

Oh yeah! It was electric.
So frantically hectic.
And the band started leaving.
'Cause they all stopped breathing.

Artemis stood between a pair of vampires and Willow. "Better watch out." he said. "This is very dangerous."

Willow quickly raised her hands and said "Eseht gnidaer llits uoy era!" A flash of light burst out and disintegrated the vampires.

"On the other hand, you are experienced in this." said Artemis.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the man in the back said "Everyone attack,
and it turned into a ballroom blitz.
And the girl in the corner said "Boy, I want to warn you.
It'll turn into a ballroom blitz"
Ballroom blitz, blitz, blitz...

Finally, Buffy and Van Helsing faced off with Dracula himself.

"Don't you get tired of this?" asked Dracula.

"Nope." said Buffy.

"Neither do I." said Van Helsing.

Oh yeah! It was like lightning.
Everybody was frightning.
And the music was soothing.
And they all started grooving.

Dracula started to attack Buffy and Van Helsing. Buffy blocked his first punch while Van Helsing struck with a quarter staff.

Dracula then tried to grab Van Helsing only to be kicked in the stomach and chest by Buffy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the man in the back said "Everyone attack,
and it turned into a ballroom blitz.
And the girl in the corner said "Boy, I want to warn you.
It'll turn into a ballroom blitz"
Ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz, ballroom blitz.

Van Helsing extended a pair of spinning blades from his sleeves and approached Dracula.

While Dracula defended himself from Van Helsing's blades, Buffy performed a foot sweep.

It this the ballroom blitz.
It this the ballroom blitz.
It this the ballroom blitz.
Yeah, it's a ballroom blitz.

-"Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet.

Van Helsing drove his quarter-staff into Dracula's chest. Buffy followed up by jumping on the quarter-staff and driving it through Dracula's heart.

"This isn't over..." gasped Dracula as he disintegrated.

"You realize his Resurrection spell is still in play." said Van Helsing.

"Oh yeah, he does that every year." said Buffy.

XXXXXXXXXX

After the battle, the Cannonballers left the castle.

"Excellent!" yelled Michaelangelo. The other Turtles cheered with him.

"Awesome!" yelled Leonardo. The other Turtles cheered with him.

"Righteous!" yelled Raphael. The other Turtles cheered with him.

"Bossanova!" yelled Donatello. The other Turtles stared at him. "Chevy Nova?" he said.

"Come on, guys." said Buffy. "Let's get that battery recharged."

"This is going to keep happening." said Artemis. "We need to do something to stop it."

"Right, we'll talk this over with the race officials." said Stone Cold.

XXXXXXXXXX

In the Alps, Bugs was driving the Crusero.

"Compared to our performance in Europe last year, we're doing a little better timewise." said Daffy.

"I'm just hoping to make the ferry to England." said Bugs.

Just then, Joe and Max drove alongside in the Previon.

"Okay, we'll do this quick and painfully." said Joe. "Get your gun ready."

"It's wabbit season." said Max as he pulled out his gun.

Wile E. pounded the roof to get Bugs' and Daffy's attention, then held up a sign with an arrow pointing to Joe and Max.

"Uh oh, this could be a problem." said Daffy.

"Hope they're worse shots than that guy who can't say the letter 'r'." said Bugs.

"Ready...aim..." said Joe. Suddenly, the Previon crashed into a sign.

"Nice driving." said Max.

Joe backed up and took off after the Crusero again. They caught up and pulled alongside again.

"Ready...aim..." said Joe. Suddenly, the Previon crashed into a tree.

"Again?" said Max.

Joe backed up and returned to the chase. He caught up with the Crusero and pulled alongside again.

"Ready...aim..." said Joe. Suddenly, he let out a scream as the Previon drove off a cliff and plunged towards the roof of a barn.

"Please be full of hay! Please be full of hay!" pleaded Max.

The Previon tore through the roof of the barn.

"Well, he did it." said Daffy. "I guess I owe you five bucks."

A farmer looked at the barn in surprise, then went back to what he was doing. A second later, Joe and Max staggered out of the barn.

"Hey, uh, you weren't planning on selling that old Jag in there, were you?" asked Max.

"No." said the confused farmer.

"Good." said Joe.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Modicum XSV drove through the countryside. Kermit slept in back next to Animal while Fozzie drove.

"Are we going to stop for rest anytime soon?" asked Gonzo.

"If we can find a place." said Fozzie. "Hey, there's a convenience store."

"PIT STOP! PIT STOP!" said Animal.

Kermit woke up.

"Kermit, we're going to stop for refeshments." said Gonzo.

"Oh, okay." said Kermit. "It'll be good to stretch my legs."

A minute later, the Muppets entered the store.

"Wow, look at all this stuff." said Fozzie.

"Nice selection." said Kermit.

"Hey, Kermit." said Gonzo. "Look at this."

They all looked at a poster of a World War 2 battle.

"Apparently, a major battle of World War 2 was fought close to here." said Kermit. "It also looks like you can get your picture taken in front of the poster."

"PICTURE! PICTURE!" said Animal.

"Why not?" asked Kermit. "Sir, can you take our picture in front of the poster?"

"Oh, sure." said the clerk.

"Hey, I've got an idea." said Fozzie. "Let's all look like we're running away from the battle in terror."

"Good idea." said Kermit.

They all lined up in front of the poster and reached forward with their mouths open in terror. The clerk set up the camera.

"Hey, how much is this gonna cost?" asked Gonzo.

"That will be ten Euros." said the clerk. "Twelve and I throw in a model of the Eiffel Tower. Ready? Say 'cheese'."

"Why is he giving us a model of the Eiffel Tower?" asked Kermit.

"Because we're in France." said Fozzie.

Kermit screamed as their picture was taken. "We're in France?" he asked.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" asked Fozzie.

"Guys, don't you know what they do with frogs' legs in France?" asked Kermit.

Gonzo recoiled. "First, my lovelies. Now, my best friend's legs." he said. "Well, no more! Let's get you out of here."

They turned to leave and faced the clerk.

"Don't worry." he said. "I'm a vegetarian."

"Okay, let's go." said Kermit.

XXXXXXXXXX

Louis drove the Modo Prego through Austria.

"I've got a couple of those ghosts on the PKE Meter." said Winston.

"After the last four, these should be no problem." said Peter.

"Guys, I think we should refer to these artificial ghosts as Geists." said Louis. "That way, we can differentiate them from the real ghosts."

"Real ghosts?" asked John.

"Present company excepted." said Louis.

"Good idea." said Peter. "Now, where are the ones we're tracking?"

"Not far ahead." said Winston.

Up ahead were the Fripon X and Interna.

"I don't get it." said Butthead. "Weren't we in Austria not long ago?"

"Yeah, heh heh." said Beavis. "It wasn't this mountainy though."

"And weren't there more deserts?" asked Butthead.

"And there were those kangaroo fartknockers." said Beavis.

"Yeah, this place has changed, huh huh." said Butthead.

"Well, guys." said Francis. "This is the country where Ah-nuld is from."

"It's nice." said Reese as he popped a doughnut hole into his mouth.

"I can't wait to see the land of our forebears." said Malcolm. "Hey, Reese. Pass me a doughnut hole."

"Those were for all of us?" asked Reese.

"Yeah, they are." said Malcolm. "Give me one."

"This is the last one." said Reese as he started to pop the last one into his mouth.

Malcolm turned around and tried to wrestle it away from him. Francis tried hard to maintain control over the car.

Just down the road, DeMarco waited with the Voodoo and a pair of Geists. "Okay, we've got a couple of targets approaching." he said. "Are you two ready to earn your keep?"

"We are." said one of the Geists.

"Good. Get ready." said DeMarco.

The Fripon X and Interna raced around the turn. The two Geists floated into the road and into the path of the cars. As the cars passed, the Geists entered them and possessed them.

"What the...?" yelled Francis as the car started to drive itself.

"Francis, what did you do?" asked Reese.

Malcolm turned to the camera and asked "Why does all the weird stuff happen to us?"

"Whoa! The car is driving itself." said Butthead.

"Cool! Cool!" said Beavis. "Heh heh! Let it take over! Heh heh!"

"Oh great. Two Cannonballers' cars have been possessed." said Winston.

"We have to help them. Come on." said Peter.

The Jersey XS pulled alongside. "What's going on?" asked Buckaroo.

"Ghost problem." said Louis.

"Need help?" asked Perfect Tommy.

"On this one, we do." said Winston.

The Modo Prego and Jersey XS happened upon the scene. The Fripon X and Interna were racing around quickly.

"The Geists are trying to scare the occupants." said John.

"Why are they doing that?" asked Peter. "Besides the fact that it's fun, that is?"

"If a human is sufficiently terrorized, a Geist can possess him and not before." said John.

"Looks like they're well on their way to that." said Winston.

Peter, Winston, and Louis jumped out of the car with their equipment ready. The Interna took off down the road and activated its nitrous.

"They're running!" said Louis.

"Wuss." said Peter.

"We can't go after them." said Winston. "We're needed here."

"I'm on it." said Buckaroo.

"Take this." said Peter as he handed him a trap.

The Ghostbusters trained their particle stream throwers on the Fripon X.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to use these on an occupied car?" asked Winston.

"No." said Peter.

"I've got an idea." said Louis. "John said that these Geists can only possess a human when they're scared? Maybe one of us should get scared."

"But we're Ghostbusters." said Peter. "We ain't..."

"We get the point." said Winston and Louis.

"Ooh, this is tasty." said DeMarco while sitting on the hood of the Voodoo.

Suddenly, the hydraulics on the Voodoo started to work and the car started to hop around. DeMarco grabbed onto the hood as the vehicle started to buck around like a mad bull.

"Yeah." said Peter as he put away his particle stream thrower.

"Ride 'im, cowboy!" said Winston as he did the same.

Just then, the Fripon X stopped moving. Louis used his detector goggles to track the Geist that had vacated the car. When it passed in front of the trap he was holding, he hit the switch and sucked it in.

DeMarco was finally thrown from the Voodoo.

"Sorry about that, guys." said John over the Voodoo's radio. "I couldn't let him know my plan."

"Hey, it's alright." said Winston as Malcolm climbed out of the Fripon X. "That was the best part so far."

"Hey, is that ghost in that trap?" asked Malcolm.

"Yeah." said Peter.

Malcolm leaned in close to the trap and yelled "Knock it off!"

The Interna rocketed down the road.

"We're flying. Huh huh." said Butthead.

"Warp speed, Mr. Sulu! Heh heh." said Beavis. "But Keptin! The Klingons are attecking us! Heh heh!"

The Jersey XS was not far behind, but still behind.

"If we don't catch him soon, he could reach a populated area." said Sydney.

"I'm going as fast as I can." said Buckaroo. "We used up our nitrous in Albania."

"Can't we use the Hyperthruster?" asked Perfect Tommy.

"It's worth a try." said Buckaroo. He activated the Hyperthruster and the Jersey XS shot to high speed. They caught up with the Interna in short order.

"Now what?" asked Sydney.

"Now, I get out of the car and get into theirs." said Buckaroo.

"Is that safe?" asked Perfect Tommy.

"Never is." said Buckaroo. "There is one huge problem, though. If I were to climb out while the Hyperthruster is in use, it will have to work harder to compensate and burn out faster."

"And you WANT that to happen?" asked Sydney.

"It's that or potential death." said Buckaroo as he climbed out the window. He jumped to the hood of the Interna after he passed out of the Hyperthruster field.

"This thing is going to eat itself in a few seconds!" said Perfect Tommy as he tried to keep the Jersey XS under control.

"Try to shut it down." said Sydney.

"Why me?" asked Perfect Tommy.

"First of all, you're in the front seat." said Sydney. "Second of all, you're perfect."

"You have a point there." said Perfect Tommy as he started to shut down the Hyperthruster.

Buckaroo clung to the hood of the Interna as the Jersey XS started to slow down. He held onto the ghost trap as the car continued to race. He started to scream.

The Geist started to come out of the Interna. In the process, the car came to a screeching halt and sent Buckaroo tumbling. Buckaroo aimed the trap in the direction of the Interna and pressed the switch. The trap opened up and trapped the Geist.

"That was cool. Huh huh." said Butthead.

"Yeah yeah, heh heh." said Beavis.

The Jersey XS came to a halt. Smoke was streaming from the hood vents. Perfect Tommy and Sydney climbed out.

"Buckaroo, are you alright?" asked Perfect Tommy.

"Just fine." said Buckaroo as he climbed back to his feet.

"How did you know the ghost was there?" asked Sydney.

"I guessed." said Buckaroo. "Sometimes, that's all you can do. How's the Hyperthruster?"

"Toast." said Perfect Tommy.

"Okay." said Buckaroo.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Citi Turbo raced through France.

Maggie gripped the wheel and steered. She whipped the wheel left and right as the car swerved through traffic.

"Oh look, Homer." said Marge. "Maggie's imitating your movements."

"Really?" said Homer. "Maybe she can get a turn driving."

"Homer, she's one year old!" said Marge.

"I thought she was one year old last year?" said Lisa.

The Buccaneer was right behind them.

"I think I see them." said Foyt.

"We are on an intercept course." said the Warrior.

"Uh, dad?" asked Bart. "Are we still trying to avoid that crazy lady who's trying to stop the Cannonball?"

"Bart, why do you ask?" asked Marge.

The Buccaneer rear-ended the Citi Turbo.

"Oh, no reason." said Bart.

"Time to show them taillights." said Homer. He floored the accelerator and took off.

"After him." said Foyt.

"I see a shortcut." said the Warrior. He steered down a dirt road.

"Homer, where'd you learn to drive like this?" asked Marge.

"I picked it up from a movie." said Homer. "It was about this police chief called 'the Smokey' and this driver called 'the Bandit' and the Smokey chased the Bandit all across the southern United States until the Smokey and the Bandit reached a fair in Florida where the Smokey lost the Bandit. I have no idea what it was called, though."

The Buccaneer continued down the dirt road.

"We're pulling ahead of him." said Foyt. "Nice shortcut. We're going to get him."

"Now, if we can use this tactic to get Rockatansky." said the Warrior.

"I don't see them." said Lisa. "I think you lost them."

"We sure did, Lisa." said Homer. "We sure did."

Suddenly, the Buccaneer pulled in front of them and cut them off.

"D'oh!"

Homer hit the brakes and stopped next to the Buccaneer.

Foyt jumped out of the car and threw herself on the hood of the Citi Turbo. "You move this car one inch and you're finished, mister!" she yelled. "Do you hear me?"

XXXXXXXXXX

In Germany, the Bestia drove into Munich.

Memphis was on the radio talking like Elvis. "If there's any racers out there willing to step up to challenge us, keep your eyes out for the purple muscle car. The King is back, baby. Uh huh."

"Now, I know why they call him 'Memphis'." said Jesse.

Dominic pulled up to a stoplight and the ZR-350 pulled up next to him.

"Hey, who are you racing, Dom?" asked Memphis.

The ZR-350's window rolled down to reveal Lance in the driver's seat. "Well, Toretto." he said. "I heard you were in this race. Looks like I get revenge for my cousin."

"I think you'll be happy to know my guy Jesse survived." said Dominic. "I'll be happy to win this race for him."

"Don't race this guy." said Johnny B. "We've got other things on our agenda."

"Is that Johnny B?" asked Memphis.

Johnny B looked up at him. "You!" he yelled.

"You guys sure know how to pick 'em." said Jesse.

"Finish line is the other side of town." said Dominic. "First one there is the winner."

"You're on." said Lance.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Stadt was parked at a convenience store when the Manana pulled in next to it.

"Isn't that one of the Cannonballers' cars?" asked Korpi.

"Yeah, let's take care of them." said Darden.

Jesse and Chester ran out of the store with an armful of pudding cups.

"If we hurry, we can get out of England before we finish these." said Jesse.

"Not if I'm driving." said Chester. He jumped into the driver's seat and got the car started. Jesse jumped in next to him.

"Let's get 'em before they even leave the parking lot." said Darden.

As the Stadt backed up, Korpi drove forward to intercept it. Suddenly, the Majestic pulled in and cut him off.

"Hey, watch it!" yelled Korpi.

"Back off!" yelled Joel. "This is our collar!"

"He's ours!" yelled Darden.

Chester drove around the two cars and took to the road.

"He's getting away!" said Fearless.

"Give me your gun." said Korpi. Darden handed him his gun and he shot out the front tire of the Majestic.

Korpi raced onto the highway and got after the Stadt.

Joel got out of the Majestic and looked at the tire. "This is going to take a while." he said.

XXXXXXXXXX

Lone Wolf rode down a highway in France.

"Boy, other than that pathetic attempt at machismo by the guy in that police car, this continent has been rather quiet." he thought.

His cell phone went off. He pulled over, took off his helmet, and answered. "Yo."

"Lone Wolf, this is Lara. Those alien women are on our tail and one of them seems possessed. We need assistance."

"I'm on my way." said Lone Wolf. He put his helmet back on, flipped down his visor, and took off.

Rough and ready rider.
In a supersonic sound machine.
Rock and roll survivor.
Chrome pipes between your knees.

Running all the red lights.
You're gonna make a dead stop.
But you just can't see the signs.

Lone Wolf raced through an intersection. In the darkness, he didn't notice the black van waiting. It took off after him.

Oh, you'll never win the race.
But you can't give up the chase.

Lone Wolf looked over his shoulder and poured on the speed.

Death alley driver.
Livin' at high speed.
Death alley driver...Yeah.
Death alley driver.
Who knows what you need?
Death alley driver.

One hundred twenty-five.
Smokin' on the turns.
Always on the hit and run,
but you never learn.

Running from the man,
and you're running from yourself.
Another dirty angel,
running straight to hell.

Oh, you'll never win the race.
But you won't give up the chase.

Lone Wolf continued to maneuver down the road, but the van stayed with him. The driver of the van looked over Lone Wolf.

Death alley driver.
Life in overdrive.
Death alley driver.
Yeah.
Death alley driver.
Ride to stay alive.
Death alley driver.
Let's go.

Red lights in the mirror.
Danger on the band.
Got to take a detour,
cause a roadblock's up ahead.

He takes you on the corner,
with a wave of his hand.
Death is in the back seat,
of a big old black sedan.

The van started to pass Lone Wolf. The driver looked over at him. Lone Wolf met his gaze.

Oh, you'll never win the race.
As you turn to see his face.

Death alley driver.
Movin' for the kill.
Death alley driver.
Yeah.
Death alley driver.
Time is standing still.
Death alley driver.
Always on the run cause you're a,

Death alley driver.
Love the way it feels.
Death alley driver.
Yeah.
Death alley driver.
Hell on wheels.
Death alley driver.
Ooh.

-"Death Alley Driver" by Rainbow.

Lone Wolf raced off and left the van in the dust.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Veloci cruised through Paris. Max was finishing up wiring in the cloaking device.

"Okay, that part's done." he said.

"Great, we can use it if we have to." said Tommy.

Suddenly, a set of red and blue lights turned on behind them.

"Oh look." said Max. "The local constabulary is behind us."

"Or so we're supposed to believe." said Tommy as he floored the accelerator.

He started to weave through traffic with the police car hot on his tail.

"Uh, Tommy?" asked Max. "What kind of car was the police car that pulled us over in Africa?"

"I think it was a Crown Vic." said Tommy.

"This one's a Citroen!" said Max. "They're real cops!"

"Shit!" yelled Tommy.

Tommy swerved into a side street and the police car almost missed it.

"Think we should try that cloaking device now?" asked Max.

"We're gonna have to try it 'cause if we don't, we're toast!" said Tommy.

Max flipped the switch on the cloaking device and the Veloci turned invisible.

"Park here." said Max.

Tommy brought the car to a halt at an intersection.

"Think it's working?" he asked.

The police car raced into the intersection and crashed into the back of the Veloci.

"Does that answer your question?" asked Max. The Veloci drove off and decloaked.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Stadt managed to stay ahead of the Manana in the left hand lane.

"I need any Cannonball Run protectors within the sound of my voice." said Jesse into his radio.

"This is Officer Hightower. What seems to be the problem?"

"Chester and I are being chased by one of the bad guys." said Jesse. "We are in France somewhere."

"Okay, what's the next town you're approaching?" asked Hightower.

Jesse checked the map. "Uh, it looks like Bordeaux." he said.

"Good, turn off there." said Hightower. "We'll find you at the airport."

"Got it." said Jesse.

"How do we lose this guy?" asked Chester.

"Bordeaux is coming up." said Jesse as he checked the map. "Hightower said we can lose him there."

"How do get there?" asked Chester.

"Make the next right. RIGHT HERE! RIGHT HERE!" said Jesse.

Chester cut across two lanes of traffic to make the turn. In the process, he cut off a truck carrying a large crate. The truck spun out and was hit by another car. The crate fell off and split open, releasing its contents: a herd of goats.

XXXXXXXXXX

Marcus drove through Munich in the L.A. Cop Car. They fell in behind a white Lancer Evolution.

"There's the Knight." said Regis.

"Do it again?" asked Marcus.

"By all means." said Regis.

Marcus turned on the car's roof lights and sirens. The Evolution took off running.

"Let's nail 'em." said Marcus.

"I'm going to act like I'm reporting this." said Regis.

He turned on the radio and heard a voice say something in German.

"You speak German." said Marcus. "What is he saying?"

"Apparently, there's been a robbery in town." said Regis. "The key suspects were seen driving away in a white Evolution which we are now apparently chasing."

Just then, the steering wheel started to rattle due to Marcus' shaking hands. "We're chasing a real criminal?" he asked.

"Well, we can probably reason with him." said Regis.

A police BMW turned onto the street behind them and joined the pursuit.

"Ah, see?" asked Regis. "We're not alone."

The police pursuit tore down a street while the Bestia raced past in the oncoming lane. The ZR-350 was right behind it.

"Look, another Cannonballer is in deep trouble." said Lance as he looked over his shoulder.

"Look out!" yelled Johnny.

Lance looked ahead to see the BMW heading straight for him. Unfortunately, he couldn't avoid the subsequent collision.

"And now we're alone again." said Regis as he looked back at the wreck.

"Guess it's time to be a man." said Marcus. He accelerated after the Evolution.

The Evo tried to lose him by turning down another street and cutting off a city bus. Marcus turned down the street himself and narrowly avoided the bus himself. Luckily, it turned out that the street was a dead end and the criminals in the Evo surrendered.

Marcus and Regis climbed out of the car and Regis trained his shotgun on them. "(Freeze! Put your hands behind your head!)" he yelled in German.

The two criminals complied. Marcus whispered into Regis' ear.

"(Stand on one leg!)" he yelled.

The criminals complied. Marcus whispered something else to Regis.

"I'm not telling them to do that!" he whispered. Marcus held out his hands to the criminals. Reluctantly, Regis yelled "(Sing '99 Luftballoons'!)"

The criminals started to sing. Marcus and Regis got back into the Cop Car as another police cruiser showed up.

"That was kind of fun." said Marcus.

"I know." said Regis. "I can't believe you managed to avoid that bus. I seriously thought you were going to hit him!"

"Well, now I can happily say I missed the bus." said Marcus.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Manana got stuck in the traffic jam caused by Chester's rapid lane change.

"What's the holdup?" asked Darden.

"I dunno." said Korpi. "Maybe there's something about it on the radio."

He turned on the radio.

"Look, I admire your fanaticism and team loyalty." said the radio show host. "But you're calling in just to say you're calling in? It just doesn't make sense."

"First, you ask us to call in, then you complain when we do." said Jezz.

"But you're calling in to say you're calling in." said the host. "Forgive me if that sounds a little crazy."

Korpi looked out his window as the goats ran past.

"Hey, Korpi." said Darden as he looked at the field next to them. "Ever want to take a Toyota off-road?"

Korpi backed into the car behind him, then drove through the fence on his right.

"I hope the suspension holds until we get those guys." said Korpi.

"You got that right." said Darden.

XXXXXXXXXX

Flash raced down the highway in pursuit of the Manana. Tackleberry was in the backseat while Hightower sat in front.

"Where did Jesse and Chester go?" asked Flash.

"According to Jesse's call, they turned off in Bordeaux." said Tackleberry.

Flash checked the map. "Let's see, that should be coming up soon."

"Flash, look out!" said Hightower.

A goat had walked in front of the car. Flash hit the brakes, but still hit the goat. It tumbled over the top of the car and rolled down the rear window before landing on the roadway and trotting off.

"Was that a goat?" asked Tackleberry.

"Traffic jam." said Hightower.

Flash pulled into oncoming traffic to bypass the traffic jam. He swerved around cars that were coming his way.

XXXXXXXXXX

Nichole managed to stay on Lara's tail into Germany.

"She's still on our ass." said Joanna. "I don't think she's above it either."

"Weren't we supposed to get help?" asked Lara.

"I'm on my way." said Lone Wolf. He rode up alongside on the Nousagi.

In Christine, Linda gripped the armrest while Nichole drove like a madwoman.

"I wonder why the others didn't join us." said Nichole.

"Oh, I have no idea." lied Linda nervously.

Behind them was the Voodoo. However, DeMarco wasn't driving. John was.

"Great, not only do I lose the Ghostbusters," he said "I also get into this little dance. Wait a minute. I think there's something wrong with those two."

"I'll see if I can get into their vehicle." said Lone Wolf. "Unfortunately, that means I'm going to have to ditch the Nousagi."

"We'll take you back to it." said Cate.

Lone Wolf slowed his bike down, then jumped onto Christine's roof. He slid over and slipped through the window.

"Well, if it isn't the girls with the beer." he said. "Don't you have anything better to do than antagonize innocent girls?"

"They don't seem so innocent to me." said Nichole.

"I think it's time for you to surrender." said Lone Wolf. He grabbed her arms and used his leg to keep her from pushing the pedals. "Let's see you try to keep going now." he said.

Suddenly, Christine started to accelerate again and steer herself. Ritchie Valens' "Come On, Let's Go" started to play over the radio.

"What the?" asked Lone Wolf.

"Now, I'm really scared!" said Linda.

"Looks like it's time for me to act." said John. He abandoned the Voodoo and possessed Linda.

"Let's get out of here." said the possessed Linda. She leaned into Lone Wolf and Nichole and pulled the door handle. The three went tumbling out a second later.

Lone Wolf rolled to a stop next to a cliff and got back up. He noticed that Christine had now turned around and aimed at him. Also, her windows were tinted.

Lone Wolf kept an eye on Christine and stepped back a few feet. He stopped when he stepped off the cliff and stepped back onto it. He then noticed he was between the cliff and Christine.

Christine then raced at him at full speed. Lone Wolf then dove onto her hood and rolled over it. She, on the other hand, drove right off the cliff.

She hit seemingly every rock on the way down and was smashed to pieces.

Lone Wolf looked down at the wreckage and let out a sigh of relief. He then looked over at the Zender Alpha and saw Lara and her team standing there, weapons drawn.

"Oh good." said Lara. "You didn't need our help after all."

"Well, I'm sure glad that's over with." said Chun Li.

"Good to hear." said Lone Wolf. "Say, could you give me a ride back to my bike?"

Lara parked next to the Nousagi. Lone Wolf looked it over. "No major damage." he said. "She'll run."

"Thanks again for saving us." said Lara. "Now to pick up my teammates and continue the race."

"See you at the finish line." said Lone Wolf.

Lara drove off as Lone Wolf got back on the Nousagi. He rode after her. As he passed the Voodoo, it restarted and drove off.

"Well, that was creepy." he said.

At the bottom of the cliff, Christine lay in pieces. Suddenly, she started to repair herself.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Stadt was parked in Bordeaux.

"I think we're going to be safe here." said Jesse.

"Yeah, no problem." said Chester.

Just then, the Manana pulled in behind them.

"Get us out of here, Chester!" yelled Jesse.

"Take 'em down." said Korpi.

The London Patrol Car raced into town and screeched to a halt next to the two cars. The three officers climbed out.

"I believe this is your turn." said Hightower as he patted Flash on the shoulder.

Flash popped open the hood of the Manana. A few seconds later, the engine died with a loud snap. Flash then closed the hood while holding the Manana's ECU and said "Gentlemen."

The Stadt pulled away while the protectors returned to their car. Darden and Korpi just watched them leave.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Belgium is nice." said Hsu as he drove the Amata Crescendo. "It's a beautiful night out."

"Sure Belgium is nice, but we're in Luxembourg." said Chan.

"I was thinking." said Sushi X. "Do you know how many racing games have shortcuts?"

"I know." said Chan. "Crusin' USA, Need For Speed, San Francisco Rush, California Speed, Street Racing Syndicate..."

"The less we talk about that one, the better." said Hsu.

"So, you're saying we should add in shortcuts to our game." said Chan.

"I think we need to come up with something unique in that area." said Hsu.

"Maybe the cars can drive into a wormhole." said Chan.

"Are you still eating that food from the Australia cooking competition?" asked Hsu.

"Why not talk to the other Cannonballers and see what shortcuts they used?" asked Sushi X.

"That sounds like a good idea." said Hsu. "That way, we can also come up with some of our own. Maybe if we can race again another year, we can use those as well."

The Citi Turbo raced past them with Foyt still clinging to the hood issuing dire threats. Hsu looked in surprise.

"We might be able to claim victory." said Hsu.

XXXXXXXXXX

The sun was coming up as the Modicum XSV reached the bridge to England.

"We're almost there." said Gonzo from the driver's seat.

"And we're almost done." said Fozzie. "Okay, it's ready."

Kermit sat up wearing a hat and a fake moustache.

"KERMIT!" yelled Animal.

"Please, the name is Rosenthal." said Kermit in a European accent.

"Good disguise." said Gonzo. "I can barely tell you're a frog."

"Uh, this could take a while." said Fozzie. In front of them was a long traffic jam.

Gonzo pulled up to a police officer. "Excuse me, what's the problem?" he asked.

"Some drug runner has been seen in the area." said the officer. "We're making sure none of those using the bridge are trafficking."

"I thought only Cannonballers were using the bridge." said Fozzie.

"They allow ordinary people to use it in return for letting them use it." said the officer. "About the only reason we don't use military force to stop them."

At the entrance to the bridge, the Citi was parked with some officers going through it.

"I'm thinking 'Bohemian Rhapsody'." said Cliff.

"No way." said Sam. "'November Rain.'"

"What about that Radiohead song?" asked Norm. "What's it called? 'Paranoid Android'?"

"Can I still say 'Peaches'?" asked Woody.

"What are you guys talking about?" asked the officer. "The best song?"

"No, the best multi-part song." said Sam.

"'Happiness Is A Warm Gun'." said the officer.

"Oh!" cheered Cliff.

"Good one!" said Sam.

A few cars back, the Jones J450 and Lusso XT were parked. Hank, Bill, and Boomhauer stood nearby and drank beer while Bobby told jokes to Mulder.

"I'm trying to tell you!" said Dale to J and K. "The Mars face is a command center for an invasion! THAT is what you should be investigating!"

"Okay, let's go discuss it over here." said K. He put his arm around Dale and led him over behind a small shack.

J leaned on the Lusso XT and laughed. A few seconds later, a bright flash came from behind the shack. A couple of seconds after that, another flash came. J looked over confused. K walked out from behind the shack equally confused. Dale followed looking quite satisfied.

"What happened?" asked J.

"Damnedest thing." said K. "This is the first guy I've met that was immune to the neuralizer."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Peter?" asked Winston as Peter drove through Germany.

"Yeah?" asked Peter.

"We're coming upon a few more Geists." said Winston.

"Where are they?" asked Louis.

"They should be at that restaurant up ahead." said Winston.

"I see it." said Peter. "I'm pulling in. Oh no."

"I second that." said Winston.

The Torque JX and Saikou were parked at the restaurant.

Inside, Kobe was locked in a cooking competition with Mario.

"So, our competitor takes on my Iron Chef." said the Chairman. "Who will emerge victorious?"

"I don't care as long as I get to eat." said Link.

Two of the Geists entered the restaurant. One of them made its way to Kobe's counter and possessed a tomato. Kobe reached for it and it rolled away from him. He chased it around the counter top with his hand, but it kept evading him.

"(Chen, has this ever happened to you?)" he asked.

"(Stranger things have happened.)" said Chen.

Kobe continued to chase the possessed tomato and tried to grab it. Finally, he took his cooking pot, dropped it over the tomato, and started banging on it with his stirring spoon. He lifted the pot and the shaken Geist vacated the tomato.

The other Geist possessed a suit of armor standing near the doorway and started walking towards the crowd.

"Mama mia!" yelled Mario.

Peter, Winston, and Louis burst in wearing their proton packs. "Not so fast, ectoplasm-breath!" yelled Peter. "The Ghostbusters are on the scene and in control! Who's with me?"

"I am!" said Winston.

"Me too!" said Louis.

"So am I!"

They all looked to see who said that. It turned out to be none other than...Luigi. He was wearing a vacuum cleaner on his back and holding the hose in his hands.

"Luigi?" asked Peter.

"'ey, let my brother have his moment!" said Mario.

"Let's-a see how they like-a the Poltergust 3000!" said Luigi. He turned on the vacuum cleaner.

"I'm going in too." said Link as he drew his sword.

"I'll join you." said Mario.

Outside, the Piranha PDQ pulled up.

"Looks like a good place to stop." said James.

"Sure, I guess." said Jessie.

Inside, the possessed suit of armor drew its sword. However, the "sword" was just a prop and consisted solely of a hilt with a plastic rod.

"Waste it!" yelled Winston. He and Peter fired their particle stream throwers and melted the armor into a large metal glob.

"(Should we help?)" asked Chen.

"(How?)" asked Kobe. "(We're chefs, not exorcists!)"

Mario snuck down the hallway to the bathrooms in search of Geists. Little did he realize, the Geist he was after was right behind him using a rock it had possessed. He turned around to look and the rock stopped moving. He continued down the hall and the rock followed him again.

He turned around to look again, but the rock didn't stop moving quickly enough. "Luigi, I found it!" he yelled.

Luigi and Link ran into the hallway. "Where is it?" asked Link as he rested his hand on the rock. Suddenly, the Geist came out.

"Pasta la vista, baby!" said Luigi as he took aim with the Poltergust 3000. He fired the device and started to suck it in. The Geist tried to escape and ended up dragging Luigi down the hall on his chest. He was then able to trap the ghost in his vacuum.

Peter and Winston had their Geist in their particle streams. "Louis, get the trap!" yelled Peter.

"Okay!" yelled Louis.

Just then, Team Rocket entered.

"Looks like the party started without us." said Meowth.

"This looks dangerous." said Annie.

"Dangerous enough for Lone Wolf to show up." said Oakley.

Louis activated the ghost trap and sucked it in.

"And it's over." chided James.

"Great, we get a chance to attract Lone Wolf and we miss it." said Jessie.

"Guys, I got another ghost for your trap." said Luigi as he presented the Poltergust 3000.

"Will you stop it?" yelled James. "All I hear anymore is 'Lone Wolf', 'Lone Wolf', 'Lone Wolf'! I'm just about ready to send you back to the car!"

He swung his arm to point to the car and knocked the Poltergust out of Luigi's hands. It broke open when it hit the floor, releasing the Geist.

"Oh no." said James.

"Nice play, Shakespeare." said Louis.

"Quick, let it try to attack you and maybe Lone Wolf will come!" said Annie.

The Geist possessed the ceiling fan and tried to attack the Ghostbusters.

"Peter, get your trap out!" said Winston.

"Got it!" yelled Peter. Suddenly, the Geist attacked him and knocked the trap out of his hand. But someone stepped in and picked it up.

"Peter, you okay?" asked Louis.

"I'll be fine as soon as we take him out!" said Peter.

Link jumped into action while swinging his sword. He broke apart the ceiling fan and released the Geist. The trap slid between the Ghostbusters and opened, pulling in the Geist. It then shut and trapped the spectral deviant inside.

"You saved us!" squealed Oakley as she got up to great their savior. She was very disappointed to see who it was.

"All in a day's work." said Mahoney.

"Oh great!" said Annie. "What happened to Lone Wolf?"

"You're welcome." said Walker.

"Oh, he's on his way to London." said Jones. "You should be too."

"Unbelievable, we get you bozos instead of Lone Wolf. Just great!" said Jessie.

"Someone has a gratitude problem." said Mahoney.

"Eat it, dickhead!" said Jessie.

"Dickhead?" asked Mahoney.

"Get lost, buttbreath!" said Jessie.

"Buttbreath?" asked Mahoney.

"What, is English only your third language?" asked Jessie.

Mahoney looked at her hair. "That's a wig, right?" he asked.

"What? No!" said Jessie.

"Yeah, that's a wig!" said Mahoney.

"No, it's not!" said Jessie.

"WIG! WIG!" yelled Mahoney. "Dah, dah, dah! Wig alert! Woop! Wig alert!"

XXXXXXXXXX

The Modicum finally made it to the bridge.

"Okay, just act natural and we'll be fine." said Kermit. Then, he realized who he was talking to and said "On second thought, just try not to attract attention."

The officers stopped them and had Gonzo roll down his window.

"Hi, officers." said Gonzo. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Just checking for drugs." said the officer.

"Oh, okay." said Fozzie.

"It's a Mini, this shouldn't take long." said the officer.

The officer opened the hood and trunk. While his partners searched those, he went to the passenger compartment.

"Drugs bad!" said Animal.

"Yes, I know." said the officer. "That's why we try to remove them."

The other officers closed the trunk and hood. They signalled that both were clear.

"Passenger compartment is okay, too." said the officer. "You are free to go."

"That's good to hear." said Kermit. The statement made his moustache fall off.

The officer stared at him in shock. "Sacre bleu." he muttered. "C'est Kermit!"

The other two officers ran to look. "Kermit!" they yelled.

"Hey, before you go, can we get a picture with you?" asked the officer.

"Okay." said Kermit.

The team climbed out and the police took their picture with them. After that, they returned to the car and took off.

"Au revoir!" called the officer.

"Well, that was interesting." said Fozzie.

XXXXXXXXXX

In Scotland, Nash and Joe watched the race coverage on television with airport personel.

"A terrible accident tonight as a racer believed to be involved with the Cannonball Run collides with a police cruiser." announced the reporter.

The report then showed the aftermath of the head-on collision between the ZR-350 and the police cruiser.

"I don't think he meant to do that." said Joe.

"Inspector Bridges?" asked the crew chief. "You're ready to go."

"Alright." said Nash. He patted Joe on the shoulder and said "Let's go, bubba."

XXXXXXXXXX

Just outside of London, DeMarco waited with Paul and Feliz. He did not look happy.

Mitzi and her group pulled up in a taxi and climbed out. "I thought we'd never get her to snap out of it." said Mitzi.

"Well, I see our teams are continuing to perform at their usual capacity." said DeMarco. "As you might guess, Paul and Feliz are the only Hunters who aren't out of the hunt. On top of that, I have no idea where Foyt is. I hope you're finished with that little side problem."

"Oh, we're washing our hands of that whole debacle." said Mia.

"So, what's going on?" asked Linda.

"The Cannonballers have reached England." said DeMarco. "If we can't find some last ditch method of stopping them, we might never get our hands on the prize money."

"I anticipated this and called upon a favor from the home planet." said Mitzi. "As such, we present a contingent of warrior robots."

A dozen robots rolled out of the brush and stopped. One bumped into another, knocking it over. The knocked over robot fell and broke apart when it hit the ground. DeMarco stared in horror.

"Don't laugh, they were made twenty years ago." said Kim.

"Yeah, we only take them out for ceremonial purposes now." said Linda.

"I suppose they'll have to do." said DeMarco. "Send in the clowns."

"Okay, guys. Go." said Mitzi.

The robots rolled towards London.

"If they fail here, we have another squadron ready in Dublin." said Mia.

"Maybe we can take someone out as well." said Paul.

"Right." asked Feliz. "We need to get to the bridge ahead of them."

Just then, Nash's voice came over the radio. "This is going out to all Cannonballers. We suspect that those guys with the EDB may be setting up a trap at the bridge to Ireland. Head to the alternate bridge discussed at the pre-race party. It'll only add a few hours to your journey. Over."

"Let's go to that one instead." said Paul.

XXXXXXXXXX

In London, the Schneller V8, Alarde, Knight, and RSMC 15 were parked. Corvax was listening to the radio. "That's weird." he said. "They didn't say anything about an alternate bridge at the party."

"You should have seen this thing race in Africa." said Sonic. "We tore down that road so fast, it would make your head spin."

"Ha, I'll believe that when I see it." said Corvax.

"Yeah, our cars could easily destroy yours." said Michael.

"I can beat those rust buckets on foot." said Sonic.

"I believe him." said Tails. "I've seen him go before."

"So, how about it?" asked Super Dave. "Once around the block, us in our cars and you on foot."

"Sounds good to me." said Sonic.

"Be careful out there." said Knuckles.

Within a minute, the Schneller V8, Alarde, and Knight pulled up to a crosswalk. Sonic jumped off the roof of the RSMC 15 and somersaulted onto the pavement next to them.

Knuckles walked into the midst of them and raised his hands. After a few engine revs from the cars, he dropped his hands. The three cars and Sonic took off running.

Sonic immediately took the lead. The Knight was right behind him with Michael shifting through the gears. The Alarde and Schneller V8 were gaining fast.

Sonic quickly turned down a side street and continued. On the way, he encountered two of the robots battling a local police officer. "Looks like a couple of Dr. Ro-butt-nik's creations." he said as he stopped to face them.

One of the robots made a move towards him. Sonic wound up his legs and charged towards the robot, stunning it in the collision.

The other robot tried to attack him. Sonic pulled on his Magic Gloves and used them to pick up the robot and throw it at its partner. Both were destroyed.

"Now robots?" asked Sonic. "I've got to warn the others. But not before I blow their doors off."

He took off down the street. Elsewhere, the Schneller V8 passed the Alarde and Knight as they raced down another street.

Sonic ran through a few backyards on the way to the finish. He leaped over fences and ducked under clotheslines. Finally, he reached the finish ahead of the others.

Michael brought the Knight to a halt. Super Dave and Corvax followed suit. "Well, that was a good run." said Super Dave.

"Despite the results." said Corvax.

"Guys, we got problems." said Sonic. "Robots, lots of them."

"Robots?" asked Michael.

"Yes! Right there!" said Fuji. He pointed to a group of the robots approaching from behind them.

"Back on the attack, I guess." said the T-1000.

Michael turned the Knight towards the robots. The Terminators prepared their weapons. Super Dave took off his cap and donned his helmet.

The Citi Turbo raced into the scene and Homer stopped short. Foyt screamed as she was thrown from the hood.

"Ahh!" screamed Homer.

"Coo-ool!" said Bart. "Mechanical assassins. I mean...oh no, they must certainly be destroyed."

"Forward!" yelled Murdock.

Michael drove straight for three of the robots and plowed into one. It was completely torn apart.

"They do not appear to be very well constructed." said KITT.

"Exact opposite of you, buddy." said Michael.

James Bond pulled up in the Victory.

"Looks like someone let loose their toy collection." he said.

"And it's up to us to break it." said Jaws.

"I've got this one!" said Super Dave as he pounced on another robot. Unfortunately, it kept moving oblivious to him. "Uh, some help?" he asked.

"How do we take care of it?" asked Jaws.

"I'll show you." said James. He aimed his arm out of the window and fired a miniature missile from his watch. It lodged in the robot's chestplate.

"It didn't work." said Jaws.

"It's remotely triggered." said James. "All I have to do is push the alarm button..."

"Wait, let me get off first." said Super Dave.

"...and the cover gets taken off." said James as he reached for the button.

"Let me off first." said Super Dave. "Let me off first!"

James pushed the alarm button. The chestplate was blown off of the robot. Unfortunately, the rest of the robot burst into flames.

"Oh sorry, Super." said James. "I didn't see you there."

"Could somebody please put me out?" yelled Super Dave. "I seem to be on fire!"

The T-1000 was approached by another robot. He turned his arm into a blade and thrust it into the robot's chest. The T-X extended the antenna from her finger and stuck it to the robot's circuit board.

"Now, let's see how they deal with one of their own." said the T-1000.

The robot turned to its companions and prepared to attack. It and another robot fired on each other, mutually destroying themselves.

"That worked as well as I calculated." said T-X.

Knuckles attacked another robot with his Hammer Gloves. It was quickly demolished. Nearby, another robot exploded as well. Tails stepped out of the wreckage.

"Nice going, little guy." said Knuckles.

"I didn't do anything." said Tails. "It hit the curb."

B.A. and Murdock used a slingshot made from a set of bungee cables to send a fire extinguisher flying at the last robot. The fire extinguisher exploded in the robot, taking out its circuitry in the process.

"I pity the fool who uses robots to fight for them." said B.A.

"Despite the failure, they just might be used again." said James.

"Good point." said Sonic. "I think we should call for backup."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Perennial was parked at the bridge in Scotland.

"I'm telling you this was a ruse." said Paul.

"They made the announcement." said Feliz. "Just keep your eyes open."

They continued to watch. A few seconds later, they heard an engine approaching.

"Here comes one." said Paul.

"Told ya." said Feliz.

When the vehicle roared around the curve, Feliz aimed at it with the EDB and fired a shot. The engine quickly died and the car drifted to a halt.

"We got him now." said Paul.

"Alright, just get out of the car nice and slowly." said Feliz.

"I've got a better idea." said the driver, Nash. "You drop your weapons and surrender."

"It's the cop!" yelled Paul.

"Waste him!" yelled Feliz.

Before they could act, Nash jumped up, drew his sidearm, and fired over the windshield of his 'Cuda. Joe jumped out of the passenger-side door and fired his own sidearm at the Perennial.

"Where's your gun?" yelled Feliz as he dodged gunfire.

"I think I left it in one of the other cars!" yelled Paul.

One of Nash's shots hit the EDB. The device started to cast sparks and electrical arcs.

"Run!" yelled Feliz.

Paul and Feliz jumped from the Perennial. A few seconds later, the EDB overloaded and exploded.

Feliz landed on the ground and saw his gun a few feet away. He crawled towards it. Just as he was about to grab it, Nash stepped in front of him with his gun trained on him.

"Alright, bubba." said Nash. "You're going to pick how we finish this. Your first option involves you turning tail and running, which is the one I recommend. The other involves you reaching for that gun and me calling a hearse. What's it gonna be?"

Feliz looked at him in terror for a second, then crawled away.

"That's the way I like it." said Nash as he holstered his gun.

"Other guy kept running." said Joe as he walked over.

"What do you say we get the spare battery and head for the finish?" asked Nash.

"Sounds like a great idea." said Joe.

XXXXXXXXXX

On the bridge to the Isle of Man, Kid rode along on the Cohete.

"I haven't seen that Ford guy in a while." he said to himself. "Is he ahead of or behind me? Wait, who's that?"

As he exited the bridge, he saw a large group of people waiting for him. He actually recognized half of them, so he stopped.

"Hey, how's it going, Kid?" asked one of them.

"Looking good so far, Stuntman." said Kid. "What are you guys doing here?"

"I'll explain when your competition gets here." said another of them. Just then, Ford rolled up on the Monsoni.

"What's this about?" asked Ford.

"Ford, we have to talk." said another of the group, a woman.

"You know these guys?" asked Kid.

"Yeah, this is my crew." said Ford. "Kid, meet Shane, Dalton, and Val."

"This is Stuntman." said Kid. "And over here is Wood, Primo, Philly, and Flip."

"We're the Biker Boyz." said Primo. "What do they call you guys?"

"Ford, how come we don't have a name?" asked Val.

"So, what's going on?" asked Ford.

"We've been watching your antics on television." said Wood.

"You guys are acting like children." said Dalton. "That's not reflecting well on our teams."

"We're here to tell you to bite it." said Philly.

"We want you to settle this here and now." said Flip.

"We want you to settle who's best with a lap around the Isle." said Shane. "Whoever wins is the best and you can stop acting like idiots."

"How does that sound to you?" asked Kid.

"It's fine." said Ford. "I'm ready to go if you are."

"Then let's go." said Kid.

Both of them pulled their motorcycles onto the road course and started rolling. They drove around a corner and took off racing.

The two of them raced through a tree-lined section with Ford taking a quick lead. They maneuvered around a few turns before coming to a sharp right. They slowed down and Kid took over the lead upon making it through the turn.

The two added on more speed as they wove through the turns. They tore through a sweeper to the right. They then got back up to speed. After a series of turns, Ford retook the lead.

They then hit a straightaway and Kid did his focusing trick. He was then able to outaccelerate Ford and race into the lead. By the next turn, he had a decent lead.

Several turns came next. They managed to weave through them at high speed and Ford started to close the gap. They reached a footbridge a minute later and Ford slipped past Kid into the lead.

The two motorcyclists raced through the next series of turns. Ford continued to build his lead. They later came to another straightaway and Kid did his focusing trick again. He managed to close in on Ford. He was right behind him by the time the next turn came.

Kid continued to close in on Ford as they approached a town. Ford fought to maintain his lead, but ultimately failed. Kid took the lead shortly before they crossed the finish line.

The two bikers came to a halt and took off their helmets as they were surrounded by their teammates.

"I can't believe you did that." said Stuntman.

"Nice going anyway." said Dalton.

"Yeah, I guess." said Ford.

"Good job, Kid." said Wood.

"Yeah, I really had to fight for that one." said Kid. "Ford, I have faced many competitors on the streets, but you were the easily the toughest. I'm serious, I had to fight for that victory."

"You're not so bad yourself." said Ford. "You must have some kind of talent to handle a race like that."

Someone else walked over. Everybody looked at him in shock and awe. That someone was Smoke.

"Kid." he said. "I saw your little race with Mr. Ford. Very nice riding, both of you. Hopefully now, you can leave all of this idiotic fighting behind you and race like you mean it."

"Don't worry, I will." said Kid.

"And that goes for you too, Ford." said Smoke.

"The crap is in the past." said Ford.

"Good." said Smoke. "You may continue the race now. Good luck to you both."

XXXXXXXXXX

Tanner and Everett walked out of the Dublin airport with their package.

"I can't believe how hard it was to get this thing through security." said Tanner.

"I wish they'd let us bring a car." said Everett.

"We might as well get one here." said Tanner. He walked over to a car rental place and said "Hello, we'd like a car, please."

"I'm terribly sorry." said the desk clerk. "We had to close for the day. The Cannonball is coming through Dublin. The streets are now open only to them. The local constabulary is responding only to local problems. I'm sorry, we're unable to give you a car until tomorrow."

"But we need a car now." said Tanner.

"I'm sorry, but I just stated that you cannot." said the clerk.

"I want you to know that if you don't get us a car, I can make your life hell!" said Tanner.

"Sir, on a daily basis, I deal with cranky travellers who aren't satisfied with their cars, aren't willing to pay extra for some niceties, and are generally impatient with our service. I'm already in hell."

Tanner and Everett walked away from the counter.

"What do we do now?" asked Everett.

"I dunno." said Tanner. "Give me a second to gather my thoughts."

They noticed a crowd gathering.

"What's going on here?" asked Everett.

Tanner and Everett joined the crowd. They noticed everyone was watching someone come off a plane.

"Who's that?" asked Tanner.

The man getting off the plane looked up at the crowd.

Everett squealed. "It's Denis Leary!" he said.

"Yeah, it is." said Tanner.

"Greetings, Dublin!" said Denis. "I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for hosting my three-night show this week. I admire your hospitality and your lifting of the driving ban for myself. If you have the chance, please come to the show."

Denis walked away and Tanner got a gleem in his eye.

As Denis walked towards a plane on the runway. Tanner and Everett chased him down. "Mr. Leary!" called Tanner.

Denis turned around. "Oh, hey. Who are you?" he asked.

"We're huge fans of yours." said Tanner. "We just landed here ourselves, but we just found out about the ban on automobile traffic and we have somewhere we have to go right now."

"I'd like to help you, but I can't." said Denis.

"Is that your car?" asked Everett.

"Yeah, I'm in the process of getting it fixed up." said Denis as he looked over a faded gray 1972 Pontiac LeMans with a red door and hood and no hubcaps.

"Is that the one that's being let onto the streets?" asked Tanner.

"That's the one." said Denis. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

As he went to the car, Tanner tackled him into the car. He and Everett went to the ground with him while beating him up.

"I got the keys!" said Everett.

"Good." said Tanner. "Get the package."

XXXXXXXXXX

Elsewhere in Dublin, Stanley drove the Super Taxi around.

"Okay, we're looking for a decent drive-thru." said George from the passenger seat.

"This looks good." said Stanley.

"Are we going inside?" asked Kuni.

"I'm wearing bunny slippers." said George. "I'm not getting out of this car."

Stanley pulled up to the speaker in the center of the menu. "Welcome to Mondo Burger. Can I take your order?" asked a woman over the speaker.

"Sure." said George. "We'd like three burgers with onions and cheese..."

"Wait, I've changed my mind." said Kuni. "I think I'd rather have a chicken sandwich."

"But you always get a burger." said George.

"Well, this time, I'm hungry for a chicken sandwich." said Kuni.

"I don't know who you are anymore!" yelled George.

XXXXXXXXXX

Fackler, Hooks, and Zed sat in the Tokyo Cop Car in Dublin.

"Do they really think those robots from London are making a return?" asked Fackler.

"It's just a precaution." said Hooks. "So, where are those guys who are supposed to back us up?"

There was a knock at the window. Hooks looked up to see Ethan.

"Is there any problem here?" he asked.

"We're just waiting for someone." said Fackler. "They're supposed to back us up in a battle with robots."

"Robots, huh?" said Snake. "Can't be too much bigger than the Metal Gear."

"You mean like those?" asked Hooks.

A few of the robots called in by Mitzi's girls started to approach. Meanwhile, Jetto, Mason, and Spike drove in behind them.

"Battle time!" said Zed.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Boost and Ascent pulled up to the castle in Dublin. The MASK agents and the two insurance salesmen climbed out.

"Bernie's not coming with us?" asked Matt. He had his Spectrum mask on.

"No, he decided to stay with the car." said Richard.

"Okay, his loss." said Gloria. She had her Aura mask on.

"Let's go." said Bruce. He had his Lifter mask on.

The five of them entered the castle and began their search. It ended a short time later when they entered the study and found a short blonde-haired man with glasses reading a technical manual.

"Who's there? I'm kind of busy." said the man.

"Nash Gorey?" asked Matt. "We're agents of MASK here to bring you in on charges of selling government secrets to...um...unsecured persons."

Gorey jumped up in shock and turned to his accusers. "You're bringing me in on that?" he asked. "Well, it sure took you long enough."

"Please stand so we don't have to force you out of here." said Gloria.

Just then, they heard sirens and a pair of huge men ran in.

"Mister Gorey, the police are here." said one of them. "It appears someone tripped the security system."

"Oh, that would be us." said Larry.

Outside, two Dublin police cars parked outside the castle and two police officers each jumped out.

"Alright, lads!" yelled one. "Come out nice and easy with your hands up!"

"Sir, we've got one in sight." said another officer. "He might be a getaway driver."

She and another officer trained their guns on Bernie who was behind the wheel of the Ascent.

"Gentlemen, please keep these men busy while I get the cops." said Gorey.

The huge men approached while Gorey ran for the entrance.

"Don't you realize he's not getting the cops?" asked Gloria. "He's going to make a run for it."

"Hey, I don't care if he's dating my wife." said one huge guy. "He pays very well."

"Lifter, on!" called Bruce. A series of yellow rings were broadcast from his mask and lifted the men into the air.

"We'll go after him." said Richard.

"I'll back you up." said Gloria. "Gorey's a lot tougher than he looks."

"That's not saying much." said Larry.

The Dublin police went over their plans while Gorey ran from the castle. He passed the Ascent which had Bernie laying on the hood with his hands cuffed behind his back.

XXXXXXXXXX

At the drive-thru...

"Okay," said the woman on the speaker "your order is two burgers with onions and cheese, a chicken sandwich, curly fries, and a large Pepsi."

"Whoa, hold it." said George. "I ordered a medium Pepsi, not large."

"We're having a special today." said the woman. "You can have a large soft drink for the price of a medium."

After a couple of confused seconds, George said "Oh."

"And for just twenty-five cents more, you can have free refills." said the woman.

"That's a good offer." said George. "Except we're in the drive-thru. What would I want that for?"

"Wait, is that Paul?" asked the woman.

"No, that ain't Paul." said Stanley. "Who's this Paul?"

"Oh, he's this American exchange student at my high school." said the woman. "I used to copy off of him in geometry."

"I knew a guy named Paul." said George. "He used to be my plumber."

XXXXXXXXXX

Snake and Ethan drove around tracking down robots.

"Can your EWG gun work on these?" asked Snake.

"Let's find out." said Ethan as he took out his EWG gun. He fired on one of the robots, disabling it. "Looks like it to me." he said.

A couple of Geists entered the area. They found the robots and took possession.

"There's a couple more robots." said Ethan.

"Let's get 'em." said Snake.

Ethan aimed at them with his EWG and fired. However, both robots managed to dodge the shots.

"That's not supposed to happen." he said.

"Something's up." said Snake.

XXXXXXXXXX

Gloria and Richard snuck out of the castle and made their way towards the Boost. Meanwhile, Gorey climbed into a silver Mercedes Benz 560SL and started it.

"Ha, the police are concentrating on the Cannonballers." he said. "They're ignoring the Feltzer and I can make my escape."

"I see him." said Richard. "He's in that Mercedes."

"Let's get him." said Gloria.

They ran over to the Boost as Gorey backed into the road in the Feltzer. They climbed in and started after him. However, he just sat there parked.

"Stupid manual transmission." he groaned as he struggled with the gearshift.

He finally managed to get it in gear and drive off. Gloria raced off after him.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Buccaneer drove into Dublin.

"Are you injured after what happened in London?" asked the Warrior.

"No, I'm okay." said Foyt. "You know, the race is almost over. You might not be able to find Rockatansky by then."

"I will not stop trying." said the Warrior.

Just then, the Baja Buggy passed them.

"Go ahead, get it out of your system." said Foyt.

"Ah shit, it's him again." said Max.

"Doesn't bolt-head ever get tired of this?" asked Highway as Max floored it.

XXXXXXXXXX

At the drive-thru...

"...and Paul also had this really weird infection on his toe." said George.

"Uh, that's a little more than I needed to know." said the woman. "Your order comes to five euros and eighty-two cents. Please pull up."

Stanley drove forward until he reached the pay window. George reached into his pocket and quickly took a shocked look.

"Okay, that will be five euros and eighty-two cents, please." said the woman.

George turned to Stanley and asked "How much have you got on you?"

"What's wrong?" asked Kuni.

"My wallet's gone." said George. "I must've left it at home."

"I'll pay for this, I guess." said Stanley. He reached into his wallet and took out his American Express card.

George handed the card to the woman. "Oh dear." she said. "This needs to paid for in cash. We don't take credit cards here.

"Well, that sucks." said George as he took back the card.

Stanley looked in his wallet and said "I've only got three euros."

"I thought you were going to the bank as soon as we got to Europe." said George.

"I never got around to it." said Stanley. "Where's your wallet anyway?"

"Look, just help me find some change." said George as he looked under his seat.

XXXXXXXXXX

In an alleyway, Hooks, Fackler, and Zed were fighting the robots. Zed finished shooting at one just before it broke down.

"We've still got one left." said Fackler.

Hooks tried shooting it, but her gun wouldn't fire. "My gun's empty." she said.

"Use mine." said Fackler. He tried handing it to her, but it flew out of his hand, hit the wall, and broke.

Zed walked up to the approaching robot and screamed at it. The robot's head exploded.

That's when Winston pulled up in the Modo Prego. "What's going on here?" he asked.

"Alien robots." said Hooks.

"Does that explain why they're registering on the PKE Meter?" asked Louis.

"No, I think the Geists are around here." said Peter.

XXXXXXXXXX

A man walked through an intersection in Dublin. He then stopped and looked down.

"Ah, a 100 Euro note." he said. "Today could be a good day after all."

Just up the street, the Boost was still chasing the Feltzer.

"Just try to get me, MASK." said Gorey.

"Gloria, watch this guy." said Richard.

"I see him." said Gloria.

Down the other street came the Baja Buggy and the Buccaneer.

"Rockatansky is mine now." said the Warrior.

"Try not to hit that guy." said Highway.

"As long as that android doesn't hit me." said Max.

The man picked up his 100 Euro note. "I'm going to buy a new radio with this." he said.

Suddenly, the Feltzer raced by and narrowly missed him. The Baja Buggy then raced by with similar closeness. The Boost raced through next and also missed the man. Finally, the Buccaneer raced by and the headwind messed up the man's hair.

The man looked at how close he'd come and ran off whimpering.

XXXXXXXXXX

The woman at the drive-thru tapped the frame of the window as George and his team searched the Super Taxi for change.

"Sir, we have to move this line along." said the woman.

"Hold your stinkin' horses, lady." said George. "We won't be long."

Stanley and Kuni dropped some change into George's hands. He turned and dropped the pile in front of the woman. She counted it up and said "You're still a euro short."

George and Kuni let out a loud groan. "I wasn't even hungry in the first place!" yelled Kuni.

George turned to the woman and said "Okay, forget the chicken sandwich then."

XXXXXXXXXX

Mason drove towards a group of robots in the Rigg. Spike fired on several of them.

"I got one!" said Spike.

"Don't get cocky, Spike!" said Mason.

Suddenly, the robot that Spike had destroyed reactivated.

"A reset?" yelled Spike. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Krikey!" said Jetto from the seat of the Stump. "Something weird is going on here!"

"This is definitely something of supernatural origin." said Snake.

The Tokyo Cop Car and Modo Prego came racing over. After they stopped, their occupants jumped out.

"What's going on?" asked Fackler.

"That question seems to be coming up a lot." said Hooks.

"We're experiencing a small problem with the robots." said Ethan. "They appear to be possessed or something."

"Break out the de-possessor, Louis." said Winston.

"Actually," said Peter "that's only used for human possession victims. Inanimate objects are fair game."

"Okay." said Louis as he and Winston took their particle-stream throwers and aimed at the robots. They let fly with a couple of particle streams, melting one.

Peter threw in a ghost trap and caught the escaping Geist. "Next." he said.

Snake threw a chaff grenade at the other robots. They were disabled after it detonated. Jetto and Spike let loose with a salvo of missiles, blowing the robots to pieces.

"Now, Peter!" said Winston. He and Louis used their particle-stream throwers to keep the Geists under control while Peter threw in another trap and captured them.

"I think that's all of them." said Louis as he put away his thrower.

"According to the gauge, it is." said Peter.

Just then, the Voodoo rolled in and parked. Everybody aimed at it.

"I thought you said you got them all?" said Jetto.

"Wait." said Winston. "John, is that you?"

"Sorry I took so long." said John over the Voodoo's radio. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to get past customs?"

"We got all the others." said Peter. "You're welcome to join us for the rest of the race."

"I'm honored." said John. A few seconds later, he said over the Modo Prego's radio "Let's go."

"Wait, isn't this DeMarco's car?" asked Snake.

"Yes, it is." said Hooks. "Buffy described it to us after Africa."

"Thought so." said Snake. He planted a C4 charge on the car and walked away. After everyone was a safe distance away, he detonated the C4 and reduced the Voodoo to flaming wreckage.

XXXXXXXXXX

Gloria managed to close the gap with the Feltzer.

"What are you going to do?" asked Richard.

"I'm going to try a PIT Maneuver." said Gloria.

"Are you nuts?" asked Richard. "This is a Ford Puma. That's a Mercedes."

"Don't worry." said Gloria. "I have my mask to help me."

Gloria swerved in close to the Feltzer's rear bumper, then pushed against it with the Boost's rear bumper. "Aura, on!" she called. A yellow electrical field emitted from her mask and helped spin out the Feltzer.

"Using your mask, huh?" said Gorey. "Two can play at that game." He picked up his mask, put it on, and called "Powerhouse, on!"

He was then surrounded by a blue energy field. He turned the wheel against the spin in an effort to counter Gloria's PIT Maneuver. Unfortunately, he only succeeded in removing the car's steering wheel.

"Ah, the heck with it." he said as Gloria climbed out and approached.

XXXXXXXXXX

"This is getting redundant." said Max.

"I know." said Highway. "I think you should try to take him out permanently this time."

"Working on it." said Max.

"This is starting to get on my nerves." said Foyt.

"After I get Rockatansky, you will never have to hear about him again." said the Warrior.

"Can't you call him Mad Max like everyone else?" asked Foyt.

Max drove around a turn and came upon a parked tractor-trailer. The trailer contained a stack of culvert pipes which were braced with a pair of wooden beams.

"See what I see?" asked Max.

"Yeah." said Highway. "Think he'll follow you into that?"

"This guy is so obsessed, he'll follow me into an erupting volcano." said Max.

Max steered into the support beams and the pipes started to roll off the trailer. The first one landed on the hood of the Buccaneer, disabling it.

"That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." said the Warrior.

"Get out!" yelled Foyt.

She bailed out of the car as the rest of the culverts fell onto the roof of the car, crushing it. The Warrior slipped out next.

"That was worse than I thought it would be." he said.

"Ooh, definitely gonna feel that in the morning." said Highway.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Super Taxi pulled out onto the road and George passed out the fast food.

"Okay, Stanley." said George. "Here's your burger. And here's my burger. Kuni, I'll let you have my fries."

"Oh, thank you." said Kuni.

"And now, the prize." said George as he unwrapped the burger. "The wonderful, wonderful prize." He took a bite of the burger. After a couple of chews, he looked disappointed. "They forgot the onions." he said.

XXXXXXXXXX

"And right now, the racers have completed the next to last continent before the finish." announced David.

"And I'm sure they'd like to hear that." said Schwag. "Europe must have been exceptionally hard on them. Ghosts, robots, vampires, all kinds of crazy stuff."

"And if that's not enough, you're not going to guess who's in first." said Frankie. "It's none other than Team Rocket!"

"You gotta be kidding me!" said Schwag.

"Believe me, he's not." said Phil. "Take a look at the map and you can see that the Piranha PDQ is now somewhere in Western Ireland. Not far behind are the Super Taxi and 1971 Bestia."

"Seriously, that's not funny." said Schwag.

"On top of all that, that battery-draining weapon was destroyed." said David. "So, to perform a song for Inspectors Nash Bridges and Joe Dominguez, here's Brad Turner."

Brad had taken to the stage. "I've also been informed that my friends in the race have fulfilled a goal of their own." he said. "This song goes out to them as well."

Brad started to play into the song.

Movin' down the back streets.
Pass the speed of light.
Sparks burn inside of me.
Gas and air adjusted right.

Layin' down some rubber.
Needle's turning red.
I'm blowing away.
On the edge.

Never ceasing, never ending.
My machine's what I live for.
Don't even try to pass me,
'cause I'll even up the score.

Cool and lean and righteous.
Slipping through the air.
I play for keeps,
but I don't play fair.

And I'm street, street lethal.
Poundin' down the back roads.
Higher than a steeple.
Street, street lethal.
Come and watch me ride.

Movin' down the pavement.
Don't get in my hair.
Exploding in your faces,
like a match to liquid air.

Bolting down the back straights.
Spilling 'round the curves.
I'll give you all,
your just deserts.

One explosion, then another.
Feeling it excel.
Put the road behind me.
Keep my feet out of hell.

Pulling up into the heavens.
Blowing past a shooting star.
First I'm near.
Then I'm far.

And I'm street, street lethal.
Poundin' down the back roads.
Higher than a steeple.
Street, street lethal.
Come and watch me ride.

On this four-wheel heart attack.
Customized to cut no slack.

And I'm street, street lethal.
Poundin' down the back roads.
Higher than a steeple.
Street, street lethal.
Come and watch me ride.

And I'm street, street lethal.
Poundin' down the back roads.
Higher than a steeple.
Street, street lethal.
Came and watch me ride.

-"Street Lethal" by Racer X.

"I hope you'll stay with us." said Phil. "Because pretty soon, we are bringing you the thrilling conclusion to the race."

XXXXXXXXXX

Tanner drove the Clover through Western Ireland.

"Where do we set up?" asked Everett.

"As close to the bridge as possible." said Tanner. "That way, we have the best chance of catching him."

"Are you sure this is going to work?" asked Everett.

"Nothing else has." said Tanner.

They parked a few miles from the bridge, then climbed out. Tanner then took the package out of the trunk.

Stanley continued to drive down the road towards the bridge.

"Just one more bridge and it's clear sailing all the way to Arizona." said George.

"Ay." said Kuni. "All the way to victory!"

"Victory!" cheered Stanley.

Tanner and Everett walked to the edge of the road. The package was untied.

"If this goes well, he'll be in our grasp with no problems." said Tanner.

"I hope so." said Everett. "I just spoke to DeMarco and he was really mad."

"Here he comes." said Tanner.

"What do you want more?" asked George. "Victory or this french fry?"

"Victory!" said Stanley.

"Then, can I have the french fry?" asked George.

"I want nothing more than victory." said Stanley. "Nothing can..."

Stanley looked to the side of the road and saw Tanner and Everett. Tanner pulled the wrapping off of the package, revealing it to be...

"My mop!" yelled Stanley. He quickly jumped from the car and ran over to them.

"Did Stanley just jump out of the car?" asked Kuni.

"Yeah." said George. "Pretty bad considering he was driving."

The Super Taxi drove itself into a ditch.

Stanley ran over to his mop oohing and ahhing over it. He then looked up to see he was in big trouble.

XXXXXXXXXX

Darden and Korpi were on a jet plane heading out of France. The rest of the passengers were Scottish soccer hooligans cheering their country's recent victory. Korpi was on his cell phone.

"Okay. I'll tell him." he said before hanging up. "That was DeMarco. The task is finished. We're to meet with him in Vermont where he wants to have a word with us."

"Great, just great." said Darden.

"You got that right." said Korpi.

The pilot's voice came over the P.A. system. "Ladies and gentlemen, there's going to be a slight delay due to an obstruction on the runway."

Darden and Korpi looked out the window to see the herd of goats running in front of the plane.