Chapter eleven: Trust

Something was very wrong today. Izumo didn't text Rin like she said she would. She was also avoiding him. Did he do something to make her mad? He racked his brain trying to figure out what he had done wrong if anything. He came up with nothing. He was getting frustrated and angry now. He snapped at everyone that day. There was only one way to fix this.

When cram school ended Rin almost corned the girl. He stood in front of her desk and glared down. He didn't want to cause a scene but damn it! He wanted to know what the hell was going on!?

"Izumo we really need to talk," he said firmly.

Pain briefly passed through her eyes. She looked up at him slowly. Her face was blank slate as she looked him in the eyes. "Yes. We do need to talk."

She packed her things and stood up. "Let's go."

Rin was taken back a little. But instead of fighting it he just agreed and followed her out. He missed the worried look on Shiemi's face as they left though. Surprisingly she brought him up to his dorm's roof. It was a nice windy day. Izumo was looking up at the sky as the wind blew past her hair. She was really beautiful. He'd seen her as cute and pretty at different times but lately beautiful seemed to pop up in his head more and more. She turned her back to him.

"Izumo, what's going on?" Rin asked. "Did I do something wrong? C'mon talk to me!"

The girl was silent. Her hands gripped into fists. "Rin I think we should break up."

He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Rin steadied himself as he repeated the words in his head. No...What was wrong with her!?

"Izumo what are you…what the fuck are you talking about!?" Rin's heart hurt like hell.

"I said we should break up," she repeated.

Oh fuck did that hurt! He gritted his teeth and took a step closer.

"Why? Did I do something? Izumo why would you want to break up? I thought things were going great!" They had been great…right?

"You didn't do anything wrong," Her voice as neutral and level. There was no emotion at all. "I just think it's time we broke up."

He started to panic. This wasn't right. This wasn't the Izumo he knew. The Izumo he'd been falling for. His Izumo had emotions and did everything for a reason. His Izumo laughed at his stupid jokes and played around. Rin ran his hands through his hair trying not to hyperventilate or burn something.

"What the fuck is going on Izumo!?" Rin yelled. "This isn't like you! Please! I just…Izumo…" he was close to crying.

"No this is exactly like me. I'm cold and thoughtless. I only think of myself and I can't trust anyone. I'll just end up hurt you Rin," she said this so easily. Her body shook though. It should not hurt this much to do this. She was supposed to do this quick and painless; like pulling a band aid off. Why did it feel like time had slowed down!? Why did it hurt this much? Damn it! She was crying now.

"Th-that's bullshit! Izumo you're not like that at all!" Rin stormed forward. Was that how she thought of herself? That's not…that was not who she was!

He grabbed her arm and turned her around. Tears poured down her cheeks making him stop. She pushed him away wiping her tears away and sniffing. Damn it, why did he always see her like this!?

"Yes I am! I don't trust anyone but myself! I can't! I can't love anyone! So go away! I'll just end up hurting you!" she yelled.

She sobbed and sniffed. Rin felt his stomach twist in pain. He reached out for her slowly she slapped his hand away yelling at him to stop and go away again.

"Izumo."

He slowly he held her wrist so she wouldn't run. She struggled and yelled trying to get out of his gentle grip. It felt like she had no strength at all by this point.

"Go away! I hate you!" she screamed. Why didn't he just go!? It would be so much easier if he wasn't there.

"Izumo," he said once more. "Listen to me."

The girl struggled and yelled for a few more minutes. She became tired quickly and stopped. She sniffed as she stared up at Rin. The boy wasn't sure what to say to that. But he honestly didn't believe anything Izumo had just said.

"Y-you're scared! And I get that perfectly! I'm scared too," he started. "I'm terrified I'm going to hurt you. Or someone else will hurt you because of me! But…I'm trying to get past that. I'm trying not to run away. Everything you just said isn't true. You're not cold…you're not heartless! I know that personally. Probably better than anyone else right now."

"Sh-shut up!" she tried to scratch at his hand to get him to let go.

"You're just pushing me away. And that proves it more than anything else! If you really hated me you wouldn't be doing this! You wouldn't be crying!" Rin yelled. "And you do trust me."

"N-no I don't! You're just stupid!" she started to struggle and scratch again.

With a growl Rin pulled her into a tight hug.

"Yes you do! You wouldn't kiss me, or hold me if you didn't! You wouldn't have told me about your mom!" Rin buried his face in her hair. "You do trust me, just a little bit. B-but I think that's how it's supposed to be. If you out right trusted me right from the start it wouldn't feel right."

Iuzmo listened to his words. No he was wrong! He just had to be! Those were all flukes. She didn't trust him. She didn't trust him at all. And she never would. Rin would get frustrated and leave her because of that. It was just easier if they just split up now so it wouldn't hurt her even more in the future…

Izumo stood still eyes widening at the realization. Oh…she…she was so stupid!

She held onto Rin's shirt tight and started to sob harder.

He…he was right. He was right…

She was scared and just pushing him away. She did care and trust him! But why? What was so different about this one boy than anyone else? How the hell did he brake through all of her barriers? Just…how?

She didn't want to let him go.

Everything had seemed pointless for years except becoming an exorcist. Then he came around. He barged into her life suddenly without a thought. He wanted her to be happy. He had told her that when they first started. That's all he cared about. If she was happy then he could be happy too. It was so stupid and corny but somehow it broke down everything.

She trusted him. She really trusted him…

Rin rubbed her back gently. She pulled back to look at him. She'd never understand what he saw in her. Hell she didn't understand what she saw in him either. He was so annoying and stupid…but maybe that was why. He was more human than any other person she'd met in a while. She…she wanted to be like that. She wanted to laugh freely and have fun without a care despite everything. She wanted to live again.

She kissed him. It was sloppy and wet and gross. But it was warm.

Rin blushed as they pulled away. He opened his mouth. A wide sheepish smile spread across his lips. "I-I think I'm fallin' for you."

Izumo felt more tears come. She pulled him into another sloppy gross kiss.

They stayed up on the roof until it was dark. Lying down on his favorite spot they watched the sky. Thoughts swirled around inside Izumo's head. She couldn't leave him now. He was stuck with her. She just hoped he wouldn't regret it later.

Rin pulled her closer as the stars came out and the air became chilly. Looking up at the twinkling lights in the sky Izumo realized something that scared her more than anything else.

She was falling for him too.

Have you guys ever written something at two am in the morning and halfway through you realized that it was mostly gibberish? Then you wake up the next day and re-read it and it was worse than you originally thought? Yeah that's what happened with this chapter. Somehow I saved it and made pretty decent. When I was writing this I was listening to the song that inspired the name for this entire story to get the mood right (actually the song is about someone dying and the person still living will keep on going and remembering the dead person. It's a little bit more morbid than anything I'm writing right now). And it worked. I'm actually proud of myself for not burst into tears while writing this (mostly because of the song. That song kills me). I'm as soft as a mushy peach folks. I cry at everything.

Now I will answer a few reviews while trying not to talk to much again. i seriously need to learn to keep these short.

Masterofbalance: Yeah I'm not to sure what to do with the bunny puppet dude(his name escapes me at this point). I'm curious about his real plan and what he wants to do with Izumo so he'll be put up on the shelf for later chapters. As for Amaimon he'll come in. I really enjoy his character and already have the chapter where he pops up written. I just hope I keep him in character. Emotionless characters are hard. Thank you for the wonderful review!

tactics: I get exactly what you're saying. You weren't rambling at all (unlike me lol)! And what you said inspired me. I originally started this story to get better at writing so I should challenge myself to get better at writing steamy stuff. I will eventually write one. I just have a few more other ideas to work through. Thank you for the great review!

Fireminer: Izumo's a complex character so having her go through the motions is a lot of fun to write. So more confused and emotional Izumo will be coming. Rin's have a weird affect on her that she's not exactly happy with (or that's what I think would happen). I'm happy that you enjoyed this! Thank you so much for all the advice. It's been really helpful!

Alright that's it for today. The chapter tomorrow will be a little it happier and not as much crying.

As always I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Please don't forget to review!